(no subject)
I really haven't a clue what to say right now.
I agreed to have coffee with Jeremy this afternoon. Doing my best to try and stay on good terms with him, whatever. He was a very large portion of my life for a long time and I cut him out of it completely rather quickly. So we had coffee. Talked about everyday goings-on. Chatted. Nothing uninteresting, but nothing of definite interest. Just like old Rachel/Jeremy time. He gave me a lingering hug when we split at the coffee shop. I haven't felt that cozy in some time, and that worries me to no end.
Time spent outside the group is so peaceful. When we're together it's all stress, work, arguments with managers, arguments with accountants, arguments with each other. Rocketing to such colossal heights comes at a very high price, and when the sparkle fades, there's nowhere to drop but down to the floor, face first. Now this woman who's inspired me so much in these past few years, my true partner in the chart attack.. she's in bad shape and it hurts that there's nothing I know to do that would help. We're working on the new single, and we've re-recorded it without her. It doesn't feel right at all. It feels wrong singing the words probably written for her to sing. I was devastated when Paul left, I don't need another one of us being torn away. I don't need her torn from me.
I need my Braddy Bear.
I agreed to have coffee with Jeremy this afternoon. Doing my best to try and stay on good terms with him, whatever. He was a very large portion of my life for a long time and I cut him out of it completely rather quickly. So we had coffee. Talked about everyday goings-on. Chatted. Nothing uninteresting, but nothing of definite interest. Just like old Rachel/Jeremy time. He gave me a lingering hug when we split at the coffee shop. I haven't felt that cozy in some time, and that worries me to no end.
Time spent outside the group is so peaceful. When we're together it's all stress, work, arguments with managers, arguments with accountants, arguments with each other. Rocketing to such colossal heights comes at a very high price, and when the sparkle fades, there's nowhere to drop but down to the floor, face first. Now this woman who's inspired me so much in these past few years, my true partner in the chart attack.. she's in bad shape and it hurts that there's nothing I know to do that would help. We're working on the new single, and we've re-recorded it without her. It doesn't feel right at all. It feels wrong singing the words probably written for her to sing. I was devastated when Paul left, I don't need another one of us being torn away. I don't need her torn from me.
I need my Braddy Bear.