(no subject)
Things like smell and sight can bring memories back from when you were younger. Like homemade sugar cookies can make you think of your grandmother, or the way an old pair of jeans can make you think of your eighteenth birthday. It's weird because Justin does that to me. Being with him feels like it did the first time around. Granted that we are different people now, but the way I feel about him has never changed. It's been like getting to know him all over again. We're both a little wiser now. We've both grown since we were last together. It's funny because the last time we were together, that was first love for the both of us. I guess we thought it would never end and when it did we were both thrown and confused. Sure during the time we spent apart, a lot happened. He got married. I didn't want to let go at first. That's what you do when you're consumed by something like that. It's hard to just let go. I didn't need to meet someone before I knew that person couldn't be Justin. No one could ever be him. I also knew couldn't live my life comparing people to the person who broke my heart. Just when I finally thought I was over him, he was back in my life again.
When I see him smile at me or feel his arms around me, I'm back in that place I used to be with him. When everything was exciting and new. We have so much to tell each other now. It's that feeling all over again. We're both afraid of ruining things now. We call each other and get a little nervous on the phone before forgetting all that's happened and talking like we used to before we even dated. When it's two in the morning and we're still up, he tells me to curl up under the blankets and he sings me to sleep. He writes me letters and leaves them in places for me to find them. I know he feels like he owes me something. He wants to make everything up to me. I forgave him the day he came back and told me he wanted to be with me again.
I guess I'm just weak.
When I see him smile at me or feel his arms around me, I'm back in that place I used to be with him. When everything was exciting and new. We have so much to tell each other now. It's that feeling all over again. We're both afraid of ruining things now. We call each other and get a little nervous on the phone before forgetting all that's happened and talking like we used to before we even dated. When it's two in the morning and we're still up, he tells me to curl up under the blankets and he sings me to sleep. He writes me letters and leaves them in places for me to find them. I know he feels like he owes me something. He wants to make everything up to me. I forgave him the day he came back and told me he wanted to be with me again.
I guess I'm just weak.