Thought for the Night
I just got off the phone with my friend Chris--a guy who is becoming more than a friend every day. I can't say I have a lot of experience with romantic relationships. Mostly it's because I wanted to wait until I was sure I was emotionally ready for it. I wanted to be "prepared". Well, I'm beginning to understand (at the ripe old age of 30) that "prepared" and "romance" don't generally go together in the same sentence. In many ways at this moment, my emotions could be summed up by the look on Justin's face when he first walked into Brian's apartment (before all the real fun begins! hehe)--kind of naieve, sort of brave, but scared as hell of the unknown. Here I am, on the cusp of a romantic relationship thinking, "will it work out?" "I'm not lusting after this guy--could it really be love?" "we have so much in common and he's so sweet--I want to go after this" "will it all fall apart and will he end up resenting me if it doesn't work out?" These and many more thoughts just bounce through my head left and right--increasing my sense of anxiety like crazy. Then I think, "this is something I want to *enjoy* not freak out about! And enjoying a romance means taking it one step at a time--enjoying each moment as it happens. Because the future is only a potentiality--it isn't set in stone--it isn't real. Only the present is real. So stop thinking, you goofy girl and just HAVE FUN!" So, that's what I intend to do.