A Living Nightmare.
Open RP, if anyone feels like taking on a slightly desperate Remus. If there's more than one person that wants to drop by to talk to him, each conversation will be treated separately. <3
------------------------------------------------------
Remus knows well enough that he should be in his room. He knows that his place right now is with his wife, but he can't quite get up and go to their room. Instead all he can do is sit at the bottom of one of the stairs, leaning against the railing as his eyes stay fixed on the door of the entrance.
As he sits there, surrounded by silence, all he can wonder is if Teddy is sleeping right now. Had he eaten? Is he cold? Is he hurt? The thought makes his blood run cold, and he closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the railing. It's hard to fight back that sickening feeling of guilt and helplessness that has seeped in too deep for him to get rid of it, but he does. Somehow he manages to do so.
He should have been there, he thinks for the thousandth time tonight. He should have stopped Severus. He should have prevented him from hurting Al. He should have stopped him from hurting Dora. He should have stopped him from taking Teddy. Suddenly the helplessness is pushed aside, and another emotion takes a hold of him. An anger so blinding, so strong, that it has morphed into something else entirely by now. Part of that anger is for himself - he should have been there, he should have stopped it - but there's one person that he wants to focus all of it to.
Severus had taken his son. He had hurt his wife. Was this revenge, for all the childish pranks that had been done to him while they had been in school? Was this payback for not stopping Sirius and James? Was this what he got for trying to go after him that night that Severus had discovered his secret when he had been the wolf rather than just the teenage boy in the shack? They are all pointless thoughts, and one is probably as ridiculous as the next, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that Severus Snape had managed to turn his life upside down in a matter of minutes. It doesn't change the fact that, right now, all he wants is to get up and leave; to find Teddy first, and then to rip Snape apart himself for even daring to touch his family. He had been willing to kill Peter for treachery once; killing Snape for hurting his family almost seems normal now. Necessary, even.
But he's still here. Sitting. Waiting.
He's so TIRED of just...waiting.
His eyes open again and they focus once more on the door. He wants, so badly, to see him walk through that door right this instant. He wans to hear how he worries too much. He wants to see that smile of his, so similar to Dora's, and he wants to feel him in his arms right this instant.
But the door stays closed. There's only silence in the castle, and as he continues waiting he finally feels it; how something in him breaks. How his breath seems to catch as he remembers the first time he held him, the first time he and Dora had stayed in bed with him as they made plans for after the war. There's a pain so overwhelming that takes over just then, and Remus just shuts his eyes tightly as the anger dies away and everything else shatters him from the inside out.
Teddy had been right. They shouldn't be in this war. Now that things were happening to them directly, all he wants to do is leave. He wants to take Dora and Teddy, invite all their friends and family to go with them, and just get away from the war. From Voldemort, from Death Eaters, from everything. He wants everything to be over. He wants his family to be safe again. He wants to make Dora happy again, but right now there is only one thing that can solve that. The one thing he cannot do: Find their son. Bring him home. Keep him safe.
A slow deep breath is taken to steady himself, and somehow he manages to do so instead of breaking down. There are tears in his eyes of pure anger and helplessness that want to be let out, but Remus just blinks them back when they start to make his eyes sting. He can't break down, because Dora needs him. Teddy needs him, even if he's not here yet. He cannot break down.
So, instead, he does the only thing he can think of doing right now no matter how much he hates it.
He just waits.
------------------------------------------------------
Remus knows well enough that he should be in his room. He knows that his place right now is with his wife, but he can't quite get up and go to their room. Instead all he can do is sit at the bottom of one of the stairs, leaning against the railing as his eyes stay fixed on the door of the entrance.
As he sits there, surrounded by silence, all he can wonder is if Teddy is sleeping right now. Had he eaten? Is he cold? Is he hurt? The thought makes his blood run cold, and he closes his eyes as he leans his head back against the railing. It's hard to fight back that sickening feeling of guilt and helplessness that has seeped in too deep for him to get rid of it, but he does. Somehow he manages to do so.
He should have been there, he thinks for the thousandth time tonight. He should have stopped Severus. He should have prevented him from hurting Al. He should have stopped him from hurting Dora. He should have stopped him from taking Teddy. Suddenly the helplessness is pushed aside, and another emotion takes a hold of him. An anger so blinding, so strong, that it has morphed into something else entirely by now. Part of that anger is for himself - he should have been there, he should have stopped it - but there's one person that he wants to focus all of it to.
Severus had taken his son. He had hurt his wife. Was this revenge, for all the childish pranks that had been done to him while they had been in school? Was this payback for not stopping Sirius and James? Was this what he got for trying to go after him that night that Severus had discovered his secret when he had been the wolf rather than just the teenage boy in the shack? They are all pointless thoughts, and one is probably as ridiculous as the next, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that Severus Snape had managed to turn his life upside down in a matter of minutes. It doesn't change the fact that, right now, all he wants is to get up and leave; to find Teddy first, and then to rip Snape apart himself for even daring to touch his family. He had been willing to kill Peter for treachery once; killing Snape for hurting his family almost seems normal now. Necessary, even.
But he's still here. Sitting. Waiting.
He's so TIRED of just...waiting.
His eyes open again and they focus once more on the door. He wants, so badly, to see him walk through that door right this instant. He wans to hear how he worries too much. He wants to see that smile of his, so similar to Dora's, and he wants to feel him in his arms right this instant.
But the door stays closed. There's only silence in the castle, and as he continues waiting he finally feels it; how something in him breaks. How his breath seems to catch as he remembers the first time he held him, the first time he and Dora had stayed in bed with him as they made plans for after the war. There's a pain so overwhelming that takes over just then, and Remus just shuts his eyes tightly as the anger dies away and everything else shatters him from the inside out.
Teddy had been right. They shouldn't be in this war. Now that things were happening to them directly, all he wants to do is leave. He wants to take Dora and Teddy, invite all their friends and family to go with them, and just get away from the war. From Voldemort, from Death Eaters, from everything. He wants everything to be over. He wants his family to be safe again. He wants to make Dora happy again, but right now there is only one thing that can solve that. The one thing he cannot do: Find their son. Bring him home. Keep him safe.
A slow deep breath is taken to steady himself, and somehow he manages to do so instead of breaking down. There are tears in his eyes of pure anger and helplessness that want to be let out, but Remus just blinks them back when they start to make his eyes sting. He can't break down, because Dora needs him. Teddy needs him, even if he's not here yet. He cannot break down.
So, instead, he does the only thing he can think of doing right now no matter how much he hates it.
He just waits.