Bend & Break.

Oct 10, 2007 00:59

ooc: A bit delayed, but this is Remus' reaction to his best friends/brothers being taken by Carrow. Takes place after this; the night before this.

Cut for some language and length.

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So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. )

wolf, hpsws sl, james, fic, sirius, carrow

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 08:33:01 UTC
She's just finished her shift around the castle, taken again now (as well as a part of the watch around Malfoy Manor), so she's up and about when Remus walks back to their rooms. She doesn't catch him quite after he's out of the Room of Requirement, but manages to see his face smoothing out for an instant as she approaches him from a shadow-cast side corridor.

She doesn't understand the face, she can't, but... she can see the way he's walking. Exhausted. And her heart flutters. Was it too soon? But home... wouldn't have been more restful for him...

"Remus?" She calls out to him before he passes on, his eyes fixed ahead.
Seems to her he's concentrating on walking without falling down, actually.
Not very good.

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r_moony October 10 2007, 18:26:23 UTC
The name brings him out of that daze he seems to be in. Well, not really a daze; his eyes are still too focused, as if waiting for an attack. He's just...lost in thought.

And exhausted. Because, despite his new found determination, nothing can really aid the body once adrenaline starts to wear off.

"Is everything all right?" he asks her before she does. His voice is quiet, but not sounding drained or empty anymore. It actually surprises him how calm he sounds, because the turmoil inside him hasn't quited down just yet.

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 19:09:35 UTC
She blinks a little, at the discrepancy between his voice - which sounds... way too 'ok', and the way he was almost swaying on his feet, and she goes nearer to peer out at him, looking into his eyes.

There is something different, but she can't quite understand what.

"Yeah. Things are... calm at the school right now. Nothing's new. But," she added, "I think you've overexerted. No fainting before students, right? Let's get back... to our rooms." She holds his hand, she knows he was going that way anyway, but now she's near too.

ooc: I got green light from Anna Min for the adoption too. (sorry, the other thread was more appropritate for the ooc, but it's on the comm...)

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r_moony October 10 2007, 19:27:52 UTC
For a second he debates on whether or not to hold her hand simply because he can still feel how his hands are shaking a little. And is it just him, or is it freezing?

But he takes her hand nonetheless, because not doing so would make her even more suspicious of the fact that he is not exactly all right.

"It has just been a very long day, is all. I'm fine."

ooc: 's alright. *g* I can't read the entry because it's flocked, but yay!

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 19:46:10 UTC
Oh yes, that 'I'm fine' rings so true. Almost.

"And you need your rest. Come on." She leads the way to their rooms. Whatever is the matter, the corridors where a student might overhear is NOT the place to ponder it. Seriously it wasn't. (Besides, in the rooms there were comfortable things like beds where a long day could be... helped. By just lying down, that is.)

ooc: *headdesk* I keep forgetting. Part of the posts are about urging you to make a mun journal so she can friend you and you/we can read each other's everyday RL stuff... so she'd add you if you comment!

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r_moony October 10 2007, 20:42:47 UTC
Remus just nods, not even fighting the suggestion to rest. That might possibly make her suspicious, considering his restlessness, but it happens before he even realizes it.

Not saying anything else, he continues walking with her.

ooc: lol, I keep forgetting to do that! Lemme think of a name for the mun/personal journal and I'll make one. *g*

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 21:15:39 UTC
Only she is already suspicious, so she just squeezes his hand a bit... when they reach their rooms, she just heds for the bedroom, still holding on to him, then sits on the bed cross legged and tugs on him to lay down with his head in her lap.

She wants to give comfort. To let him rest. To just be here. Whatever's given him... this odd look, she wants to give him peace, or whatever part of it she can.

Because after a long day? Even if he's 'fine', she's still here. And after a long day with bad things on one's mind, even more so.

ooc: Ohh! When you do, add my mun journal - kikibug13 please? ;)

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r_moony October 10 2007, 21:45:25 UTC
By the time they reach their room the adrenaline has died down for the most part. So, seeing her sit that way, ready for him, causes his shoulders to sag a little as the weight of the day feels like too much. The anger and everything else he's feeling is still there, and the wolf has yet to leave (did it ever really leave lately?), but for now he's just so bloody exhausted...

Taking his wand out of his pocket, he tosses it towards a chair by the bed and carefully lays down to rest his head on her lap.

ooc: Lemme think about it... ;D *TOTALLY kidding!!* *HUGS* Absolutely!

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 22:23:59 UTC
So so tired, he looked. Her cool fingers smoothed the fringe back from his forehead, caressing his hair gently. If she could take away his burden... she would. She could see it was hitting him so hard... On top of being weakened by the cursed wounds still, and pushing himself to work... true, he loved the work, but.

She started talking, sofly, just to soothe. Nonesense, mostly, stuff that'd happened during the day, observations she'd made of students during her rounds. She wasn't even trying to make him laugh, just talking normally. Maybe it wasn't as quietly as she thought - she aimed at 'cooing', but it didn't quite work - but it was still gentle, non-engaging... words. Becuasue the world wasn't giving them peace much these days, but if she could try to give a little to him, she would.

ooc and ic? HUGS!!!

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r_moony October 10 2007, 22:40:52 UTC
As she spoke Remus could only half-listen, because every now and then his mind would start wandering away as he looked up at the ceiling.

After a moment, after he almost started to nod off, Remus opened his eyes. Taking a slow deep breath - and being half-successful in hiding a wince - he said very quietly, "I don't want to sleep, Dora."

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pinkhairedauror October 10 2007, 22:48:21 UTC
Tonks blinked surprised at his words, though her fingers never stopped caressing his hair.

"But you need to rest..." She cut herself short. When he said he didn't want to sleep, he usually had a good reason. "Are you sure? It might make tomorrow come faster, whatever it brings."

She wasn't feeling like sleep yet herself though... She was offering comfort, not really trying to put him to sleep. But he seemed... so drained it was an effort for him to stay up.
She didn't want him to sit up, just lay like that, the warmth from his head and shoulders seeping up into her.

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r_moony October 10 2007, 23:05:53 UTC
His reasons were good, he thought. He shouldn't be resting when they're out there, who knew where. What if they were needed throughout the night? What if they were found?

"I just...can't."

He didn't want to sit up either, though. For the first time in the day he was comfortable.

"We need to figure out a way to end this bloody war."

The calmness was still there. There was no desperation in his voice no matter how desperately he did want it to end. Was this what numbness sounded like? he mused as he continued to look up at the ceiling. He couldn't bring himself to look at her in the eyes just yet.

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pinkhairedauror October 11 2007, 00:20:09 UTC
OK, if she knew what he thought, she'd probably be giving him a look of her own. The one she gives him in the rare occasions when he's just not seeing the obvious - or ignoring it... He can't stay up till they're back. He'll be a ruin. He's still not healed. His students need him too.
But she doesn't know. And for now, sleep can wait a little. And hour, or two. Till the exhaustion engulfed him and he did rest.
She hoped.

"'s all right. 'm not feeling too sleepy myself." Tired... yeah. Sleepy, no.

Her hands kept on caressing his head; she liked the feel of his soft hair under her fingers; his skin; his warmth. He wasn't too cold, though he seemed drained; he wasn't hot and feverish either. No, it was in his mind that he was upset. But if his body would keep up... he'd be fine.
Eventually."Yes. We do. It's strange... when Lucius was... not himself, when I went to question him at St. Mungo's, he said he meant to provoke, to make us lead an offensive war. Odd, that, from one of them. Then it seemed... wrong, distasteful. Now, now it ( ... )

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r_moony October 11 2007, 01:26:22 UTC
It really was a good thing she didn't know half the things that were running through his head at the moment, then... Because she was helping, and the thoughts weren't as loud or as painful, but it was hard to just tune everything out.

His eyes refocused to how they had been when she had found him on his way out from the room of requirement, and for a second something flashed in his eyes even if the. Rage again? Probably. But he was so tired that it was just a flicker, even if he could still feel it burning a hole right through him.

The muscle in his jaw did twitch, however, as he listened. It did seem simple, now. It seemed so bloody simple that he felt like a fool for not seeing it before. So this was what they wanted? To get a real fight?

Good. They'd get their wish.

"We better figure out when that is, then."

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pinkhairedauror October 11 2007, 02:13:31 UTC
To her, it seemed like his eyes were throwing sparks for a moment, and... it was worrying, and a bit fascinating. His eyes were compelling to her always; like that, they could be commanding. Hypnotising.
But blink? and it was gone.

She saw his jaw muscles tighten, and one hand slid down along his cheek to smooth them out, caressingly.

"We will. Only, one part of my mind - I think that's the one Moody worked on - says that when you're drawn to attack, on their territory, it could always be a trap.

"Nothing is ever easy. No rushing without thinking, I suppose."

But truth was? She was wanting action. Somebody to fight, someone trying to hurt her so she could hurt back.
Because though her mind was strong, her heart was bleeding.
For Remus. For Teddy. For Sirius and James. For Albus Severus. For Hermione. For Dumbledore. For Lily. For Harry.

How many cuts could they all take? She didn't know. And she'd try to not learn. She'd do her best.

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r_moony October 11 2007, 12:09:27 UTC
He barely noticed the muscles in his jaw had been twitching, but her touch did help in easing them a little.

Closing his eyes, he took a slow deep breath. That fire burning in him was tiring him out. One minute he was fired up, ready to fight in a seconds notice, while in the next minute he was just about ready to collapse.

He did need sleep. Desperately. He knew that, but accepting that and giving in seemed so...wrong.

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