FMA: No Good Deed
Title: No Good Deed
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (any)
Word Count: 262.
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: "Perhaps your brother should be less enthusiastic when trying to help someone."
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and all associated characters, settings, etc., belong to Hiromu Arakawa-san. The only profit I make from this work of fiction is my own satisfaction and, possibly, the enjoyment of others.
Author's Notes: Written for the April 3 prompt at 31_days - "shorty's gonna be a thug". Honestly, with a prompt like that, you can't expect something serious.
“Honestly, Fullmetal, scaring defenseless old women out of their wits is not the sort of impression Eastern Command likes to give out.”
“I wasn’t scaring some defenseless old woman, bastard, I was stopping a thief who stole her purse!”
“I hate to be the one to inform you of this, but jumping from the top of a building while yelling - what was it? ‘Gotcha, motherfucker’? - tends to frighten people.”
“I was catching a thief! What was I supposed to say?”
“Now that poor woman is accusing the military of forming a secret regiment made up of attack midgets-”
“Who are you calling so tiny he can use an eyelash for a hammock?!”
“I’m only telling you what the woman you so kindly aided said, Fullmetal.”
“The fuck you are, you-”
Al slipped out of the colonel’s office with a clatter, feeling confident neither of the two heatedly arguing inside would notice his absence. At her desk, Lieutenant Hawkeye glanced up from her paperwork and gave him a small, sympathetic smile.
“Brother’s not really in trouble, is he, Lieutenant?” he asked, sidling up to her desk.
“No, Alphonse.” She straightened the stack of papers and placed them neatly into a folder. “However, next time perhaps he should be less enthusiastic when trying to help someone.”
Al imitated a long-suffering sigh. The sound echoed around his helmet. “I try, Lieutenant.”
“I know you do, Alphonse.” Hawkeye checked something off another paper; Ed’s voice rose in a howl of protest loud enough to rattle the glass in the windows. “Believe me, I know.”
END