That Bitter Cynicism of Mine
I don't understand how people can deal with this world.
I was riding my bike home tonight, minding my own business, when some guy comes up from a side street. All the side streets have stop signs; the road I'm on does not--it's a busy through street. I notice that he has to suddenly apply the breaks to stop after seeing me (he clearly wasn't going to stop otherwise). He then proceeds to blare his horn at me as I go by.
Oh, well, I'M SORRY, Mr. Impatient, for not YIELDING to the guy with the FRAKKING STOP SIGN. I'm supposed to STOP at my COMPLETELY NONEXISTENT STOP SIGN. I didn't realize that STOP actually means GO! Heaven forbid I make you WAIT a whole TWO SECONDS for a bicycle to ride past. I mean, HOLY COW, I made you WAIT! I'm such a TERRIBLE PERSON!
OH, NOES!
People seem to think that Heaven sounds boring, especially based on the Bible's description. Quite frankly, that can't be further from the truth. Guess what we get in Heaven?
1. Praising God for giving us this Heaven and His Son for us.
2. No idiots.
3. No idiots in vehicles.
4. No idiots on bicycles.
5. No idiots on motorized bicycles.
6. No idiot pedestrians.
7. No idiots in check-out lines.
8. No idiots suing everyone and their dog.
9. No idiots who don't take care of their reptiles.
10. No idiots...DO I REALLY NEED TO GO ON?
Oh, and if I'm an idiot, no one in Heaven has to put up with me!
Seriously, if Heaven only had #1 and #2, it would still be paradise.
Yes, there are days I hate the world. Yes, this is one of those days.
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I was riding my bike home tonight, minding my own business, when some guy comes up from a side street. All the side streets have stop signs; the road I'm on does not--it's a busy through street. I notice that he has to suddenly apply the breaks to stop after seeing me (he clearly wasn't going to stop otherwise). He then proceeds to blare his horn at me as I go by.
Oh, well, I'M SORRY, Mr. Impatient, for not YIELDING to the guy with the FRAKKING STOP SIGN. I'm supposed to STOP at my COMPLETELY NONEXISTENT STOP SIGN. I didn't realize that STOP actually means GO! Heaven forbid I make you WAIT a whole TWO SECONDS for a bicycle to ride past. I mean, HOLY COW, I made you WAIT! I'm such a TERRIBLE PERSON!
OH, NOES!
People seem to think that Heaven sounds boring, especially based on the Bible's description. Quite frankly, that can't be further from the truth. Guess what we get in Heaven?
1. Praising God for giving us this Heaven and His Son for us.
2. No idiots.
3. No idiots in vehicles.
4. No idiots on bicycles.
5. No idiots on motorized bicycles.
6. No idiot pedestrians.
7. No idiots in check-out lines.
8. No idiots suing everyone and their dog.
9. No idiots who don't take care of their reptiles.
10. No idiots...DO I REALLY NEED TO GO ON?
Oh, and if I'm an idiot, no one in Heaven has to put up with me!
Seriously, if Heaven only had #1 and #2, it would still be paradise.
Yes, there are days I hate the world. Yes, this is one of those days.
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