Fire Emblem 10 - To Covet

[r_amythest]

Title: To Covet
Fandom: Fire Emblem 10
Genre: Not sure. Angst...?
Rating, Warnings: NC-17/MA for explicit sex.
Summary: The circumstances are proper, even if her intentions are not. Micaiah hasn't forgotten Sothe, but her body aches with youth. Stefan sates her incompletely. A reflection on loyalty, longevity, and loneliness (but not quite love).

Comments

[myaru]

I feel kind of faily right now. I've been thinking about this for two days and still haven't figured out how to say some of the things this fic made me think about. I'll try.

First, I find Micaiah's stories of the businesslike approach most of her suitors take to be really funny - not in a giggly way, so much as a "Haha, men, they just get right to it, don't they?" way. Especially the young ones. To be fair, I myself have only ever been involved with one person like this, but looking back, I can see exactly this kind of behavior coming with inexperience. (The rest I heard from others. Often. Whether I wanted to or not. :P) Since Micaiah has had several decades with Sothe, who probably got over that stage of lovemaking and learned to do it right, I thought her experiences with most of these men were very appropriate to the story. I did grin when Stefan almost made this mistake. XD

Restraint and awkwardness run this piece through, even during the sex - the good kind of awkwardness, between two characters who don't know each other well and don't want to open up. It's hard to forget that the entire episode begins with "Livestock. Canals. Protections. Remember those," even though most of the distractions come in the form of memories, both Sothe and mysterious, nameless people from Stefan's past. Micaiah's "but Sothe... you know I loved you first" was especially heart-breaking, and cuts right to the core of what makes relationships between the races so tragic aside from the cultural stigma.

I really liked the flashes of Stefan's memories that Micaiah experienced, as well as the way she was wound up not just by her own pleasure, but by his. I've always thought heron sex must be mind-blowingly awesome because you get two for the price of one with your empathetic talents, but well, that usually has no plot-oriented use, so. :P (Wow, no wonder Lehran went abstinent after he lost his power. Forget the fertility issue - one orgasm at a time must seem so quaint.) Also, this story reminded me of an old theory that Apostles might have been considered dead ends as far as continuing the line was concerned because they take forever to conceive. I really like that you decided to use that kind of idea in exploring this relationship.

Your characterization of Stefan is very compelling, also. When he closes himself off, he has more to hide than angst or bitterness, which are the usual interpretations I see in fic about him. That glimpse, early on, of what I believe was his family? That was especially interesting. The woman who fought for control of the bed was very revealing of what kind of man he is too. It makes one wish he would open up, just as Micaiah wishes.

However, Micaiah is the one who seems most distant, when I look at just how much she thinks during this story, when she should be concentrating on getting laid. Perhaps this expresses her guilt most effectively, and silently. The only time she isn't displaying avoidance seems to be when she (they) hit the peak, and then after.

My only gripe is the formality and - sometimes - purplish hue to the language. That's something I would expect from Stefan's dialogue, but it felt a little bit strained with Micaiah. Maybe I'm remembering her dialogue wrong? Also, she has spent several decades at court now, so that might explain a change in the way she talks. It doesn't really invade the narration that I recall, except the very last line. I don't know - this is what I was thinking about for two days, trying to pin down, but now that I look at the story again, I can't find specific instances of what bothered me.

I liked the story very much. It's really too bad FFN's restrictions prevent you from putting it up there. This is a nice exploration of both of them.

[r_amythest]

Wow, no wonder Lehran went abstinent after he lost his power. Forget the fertility issue - one orgasm at a time must seem so quaint. Ahahahaha. Quaint.

That glimpse, early on, of what I believe was his family? Yes! I have so much headcanon for Stefan's early circumstances that it's ridiculous. Most of it will only probably be hinted at, ever.

I think I actually know where you got the purplish hue. With Micaiah's dialogue, I thought about it and decided to allow for both the supposedly formal circumstances of the occasion, Stefan's rank, and possible court influence. I probably overcompensated for these things and her voice is probably too formal. But, I think that impression is stronger in lines like this maybe:

Could she leave his ghost as soon as his scent faded from the air? How many times she wished she could have grown old with him! Instead she lived a lifetime, and - parting ways with him at the edges of mortality - turned back to square her shoulders against a world she now knew too well. Surely she could not bear the rest alone.

I thought to myself that they were faintly Victorian, then couldn't come up with a way to rework them with the same effect without coming off as Victorian.