Raligh, Beware the Ides of March!
So you remember how last March was rather tumultuous for my family?
Well, this time around is pretty busy, too.
(I'm just hoping it's not ushering in another spring-summer-fall combo like we had in 2008!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Older-Younger Sister (the one who was going through surgery and blood loss and liquid diets this time last year) landed in AFRICA about an hour ago. She has walked on three different continents in the last 24 hours!
She will be spending the next 10 days working in a war orphanage in Sierra Leone. This is the first time she’s been overseas and it is literally the thing she has wanted to do more than anything else for almost her entire life. She was only 4, 5 years old when she decided she wanted to go overseas and help orphans, that desire and passion never faded, and now she finally gets to do so!
For those of you who don’t know, Sierra Leone is a tiny country (half the size of Illinois) on the coast of northwest Africa. (It’s towards the bottom of the “bump” that makes up the top of the continent. Near Liberia and the Ivory Coast.)
Until 2002, the country had been savaged by a decade of civil war and brutalities. The death toll is estimated at around 50,000. (The entire population is only about 6 million - that's one dead person for every 120 survivors.) I forget the exact number, but an enormous percentage of that population is children. Orphans. (Life expectancy is only 40) A large percentage of the surviving adult population lives in camps. Not refugee camps, but amputee camps. “Amputation by machete was the horrific signature of the rebels” according to an encyclopedia entry.
The 2007 “crimes against humanity” conviction of some of those former rebel leaders was the first time an international tribunal ruled on the recruitment of children under age 15 as soldiers.
My sister is with an almost all-woman team. They’re going specifically to work with the older teenage girls at the orphanage. Mentoring them and providing training and materials for when they turn have to leave. (There aren’t a lot of options for a young orphaned woman in a country like that, you know?)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
More serious news, on a more personal level: My grandfather fell on February 3rd. Since then he has been hospitalized, in and out of ICU and dealing with staph-related pneumonia, among other things. We really thought we were losing him a few weeks ago because he was becoming very unresponsive and zoning in and out, like his body was shutting down. Turned out he was having a reaction to one of the medications he was on. Within 24-hours he was more alert and interactive then he had been since he first came to the hospital. So that’s good. He basically has no sensation below the waist. But the specialist at the long-term stay hospital he’s at now says she thinks the legs are still viable and that he may eventually be able to regain use of them, unless there’s some back damage we’re unaware of. So that’s good. They were going to put him on dialysis on Friday because it looked like his kidneys were failing, but the problems turned out to be caused by a blockage in the line. So that’s good.
However, when we visited yesterday, my grandma said the nurse told her she thinks he has about another week.
Apparently her largest concern is his wound. See, during the five days he was transferred to a “skilled nursing facility” (this is also the place that continued to administer the medication he was reacting to, even when we requested they stop. And didn’t have a doctor OR a nurse on the grounds to talk to… We should so sue that place.) he developed a massive “ulcer” bedsore that covered his ENTIRE left buttocks.
And it’s not really getting better.
I don’t know how something like that could possibly wind up being the thing that causes the end of it all when he’s survived really serious and potentially fatal things like pneumonia, kidney failure, his massive aortic aneurysm that burst three years ago…
And, again, this was something a nurse said to my grandma, so it’s not like he’s gotten a fatal diagnosis or something. But still. This is really hard to deal with for all of us. Especially hearing “about another week” on the day my sister is heading out of the country for a week and a half. You know?
This is really the first time we’re facing death and loss of a loved one up close and personal since my dad. (Except for my cousin’s unexpected passing last year, and that happened suddenly and, sadly, we really didn’t know him that well. Also, we weren’t THERE, having to live through it, day after day.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Speaking of my cousin, we all went down to Louisiana for the weekend a few weeks back. Most of my mom’s family all got together. It was really good. We had a lot of fun, silly times, but also some quality, serious times.
My late cousin was really, really sweet, wonderful, NICE person. Seriously. He was just about the nicest, sweetest person you could ever possibly meet. So much so, it was almost like, ...okay, I do not mean to be at all offensive to anyone here, but you know how children with Down’s Syndrome are sweet and friendly and perpetually childlike? He was almost like that. (Only he wasn’t at all developmentally disabled. In fact he was extremely intelligent and academically gifted. He was double-majoring in, like, Accounting and Computer Programming, or something extremely technical and mathematically inclined.) He was also exceedingly shy and withdrawn much of the time, outside of his family. But apparently, in that last year of his life….he BLOSSOMED.
He chose to attend a tiny little private college, where he didn’t know anyone before enrolling. When he died, he hadn’t even been there a full year (Spring Break of the second semester) but the response from the school was unbelievable. They packed his dorm room so my aunt and uncle didn’t have to face that, and even delivered the belongings at their own cost. They held a large memorial service and followed with a formal luncheon for his family, to let them meet with his professors and close friends.
During the visit, my little brother mentioned how he wished he could have known Matt better. My aunt got out this giant framed picture that friends and classmates had signed. It was amazing. DOZENS of people had signed. Most of the times in that kind of situation, people, especially young college kids, write short little platitudes. Not here. There were writing full paragraphs. And it wasn’t generic. Person after person recounted specific examples of ways he touched their lives and how they appreciated him. It was really wonderful.
What was also wonderful is how this turned into a real healing process for my other cousin, his little sister. That night while we there, reading the picture and talking about him, was the first time she had cried since the funeral. And, until that weekend, she had only mentioned his name ONCE in an entire year. Hopefully, what went on during our trip will help her deal with it and begin to move forward in mourning him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wow.
I didn’t mean to create such a downer of a post.
Despite what it may seem, things have not been incredibly depressing. In fact, quite the opposite. A lot of good things have happened. And even silly, happy, fun stuff. Sometimes it’s even better because it comes it the midst of facing difficulties.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For example, my mom is going through her semi-annual occasional bout of “not feeling good” last night and today (Seriously. She is ludicrously healthy and hearty 360-365 days a year. She doesn’t even get that sick when she’s less than 100% either. And this morning she was pouting to me about how “This is such a waste of time”!) and my two remaining siblings at home are also somewhat under the weather. So the three of them are cuddled in her bed watching videos on YouTube. Last I heard, they were watching clips from Disney movies, dubbed into other languages. (“A Friend Like Me” in Japanese. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” in Thai... that sort of thing.) If you’ve never done it, give it a try! It’s a hoot!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Next week, I promise to come back and make a squee-filled post all about my joyful, fannish reactions to various Good TV of late.
But these serious medical/family things have just been taking a lot of my focus lately and I wanted to kind of get them off my chest so you’d understand some of what I’m dealing with in the real world. (And to explain why I may suddenly disappear again or not respond to a comment, etc)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Thanks for listening reading.
Well, this time around is pretty busy, too.
(I'm just hoping it's not ushering in another spring-summer-fall combo like we had in 2008!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Older-Younger Sister (the one who was going through surgery and blood loss and liquid diets this time last year) landed in AFRICA about an hour ago. She has walked on three different continents in the last 24 hours!
She will be spending the next 10 days working in a war orphanage in Sierra Leone. This is the first time she’s been overseas and it is literally the thing she has wanted to do more than anything else for almost her entire life. She was only 4, 5 years old when she decided she wanted to go overseas and help orphans, that desire and passion never faded, and now she finally gets to do so!
For those of you who don’t know, Sierra Leone is a tiny country (half the size of Illinois) on the coast of northwest Africa. (It’s towards the bottom of the “bump” that makes up the top of the continent. Near Liberia and the Ivory Coast.)
Until 2002, the country had been savaged by a decade of civil war and brutalities. The death toll is estimated at around 50,000. (The entire population is only about 6 million - that's one dead person for every 120 survivors.) I forget the exact number, but an enormous percentage of that population is children. Orphans. (Life expectancy is only 40) A large percentage of the surviving adult population lives in camps. Not refugee camps, but amputee camps. “Amputation by machete was the horrific signature of the rebels” according to an encyclopedia entry.
The 2007 “crimes against humanity” conviction of some of those former rebel leaders was the first time an international tribunal ruled on the recruitment of children under age 15 as soldiers.
My sister is with an almost all-woman team. They’re going specifically to work with the older teenage girls at the orphanage. Mentoring them and providing training and materials for when they turn have to leave. (There aren’t a lot of options for a young orphaned woman in a country like that, you know?)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
More serious news, on a more personal level: My grandfather fell on February 3rd. Since then he has been hospitalized, in and out of ICU and dealing with staph-related pneumonia, among other things. We really thought we were losing him a few weeks ago because he was becoming very unresponsive and zoning in and out, like his body was shutting down. Turned out he was having a reaction to one of the medications he was on. Within 24-hours he was more alert and interactive then he had been since he first came to the hospital. So that’s good. He basically has no sensation below the waist. But the specialist at the long-term stay hospital he’s at now says she thinks the legs are still viable and that he may eventually be able to regain use of them, unless there’s some back damage we’re unaware of. So that’s good. They were going to put him on dialysis on Friday because it looked like his kidneys were failing, but the problems turned out to be caused by a blockage in the line. So that’s good.
However, when we visited yesterday, my grandma said the nurse told her she thinks he has about another week.
Apparently her largest concern is his wound. See, during the five days he was transferred to a “skilled nursing facility” (this is also the place that continued to administer the medication he was reacting to, even when we requested they stop. And didn’t have a doctor OR a nurse on the grounds to talk to… We should so sue that place.) he developed a massive “ulcer” bedsore that covered his ENTIRE left buttocks.
And it’s not really getting better.
I don’t know how something like that could possibly wind up being the thing that causes the end of it all when he’s survived really serious and potentially fatal things like pneumonia, kidney failure, his massive aortic aneurysm that burst three years ago…
And, again, this was something a nurse said to my grandma, so it’s not like he’s gotten a fatal diagnosis or something. But still. This is really hard to deal with for all of us. Especially hearing “about another week” on the day my sister is heading out of the country for a week and a half. You know?
This is really the first time we’re facing death and loss of a loved one up close and personal since my dad. (Except for my cousin’s unexpected passing last year, and that happened suddenly and, sadly, we really didn’t know him that well. Also, we weren’t THERE, having to live through it, day after day.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Speaking of my cousin, we all went down to Louisiana for the weekend a few weeks back. Most of my mom’s family all got together. It was really good. We had a lot of fun, silly times, but also some quality, serious times.
My late cousin was really, really sweet, wonderful, NICE person. Seriously. He was just about the nicest, sweetest person you could ever possibly meet. So much so, it was almost like, ...okay, I do not mean to be at all offensive to anyone here, but you know how children with Down’s Syndrome are sweet and friendly and perpetually childlike? He was almost like that. (Only he wasn’t at all developmentally disabled. In fact he was extremely intelligent and academically gifted. He was double-majoring in, like, Accounting and Computer Programming, or something extremely technical and mathematically inclined.) He was also exceedingly shy and withdrawn much of the time, outside of his family. But apparently, in that last year of his life….he BLOSSOMED.
He chose to attend a tiny little private college, where he didn’t know anyone before enrolling. When he died, he hadn’t even been there a full year (Spring Break of the second semester) but the response from the school was unbelievable. They packed his dorm room so my aunt and uncle didn’t have to face that, and even delivered the belongings at their own cost. They held a large memorial service and followed with a formal luncheon for his family, to let them meet with his professors and close friends.
During the visit, my little brother mentioned how he wished he could have known Matt better. My aunt got out this giant framed picture that friends and classmates had signed. It was amazing. DOZENS of people had signed. Most of the times in that kind of situation, people, especially young college kids, write short little platitudes. Not here. There were writing full paragraphs. And it wasn’t generic. Person after person recounted specific examples of ways he touched their lives and how they appreciated him. It was really wonderful.
What was also wonderful is how this turned into a real healing process for my other cousin, his little sister. That night while we there, reading the picture and talking about him, was the first time she had cried since the funeral. And, until that weekend, she had only mentioned his name ONCE in an entire year. Hopefully, what went on during our trip will help her deal with it and begin to move forward in mourning him.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wow.
I didn’t mean to create such a downer of a post.
Despite what it may seem, things have not been incredibly depressing. In fact, quite the opposite. A lot of good things have happened. And even silly, happy, fun stuff. Sometimes it’s even better because it comes it the midst of facing difficulties.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For example, my mom is going through her semi-annual occasional bout of “not feeling good” last night and today (Seriously. She is ludicrously healthy and hearty 360-365 days a year. She doesn’t even get that sick when she’s less than 100% either. And this morning she was pouting to me about how “This is such a waste of time”!) and my two remaining siblings at home are also somewhat under the weather. So the three of them are cuddled in her bed watching videos on YouTube. Last I heard, they were watching clips from Disney movies, dubbed into other languages. (“A Friend Like Me” in Japanese. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” in Thai... that sort of thing.) If you’ve never done it, give it a try! It’s a hoot!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Next week, I promise to come back and make a squee-filled post all about my joyful, fannish reactions to various Good TV of late.
But these serious medical/family things have just been taking a lot of my focus lately and I wanted to kind of get them off my chest so you’d understand some of what I’m dealing with in the real world. (And to explain why I may suddenly disappear again or not respond to a comment, etc)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Thanks for listening reading.