I've finally stopped crying...

May 20, 2006 12:52

...but my heart still hurts. I feel ripped open. Raw.

GREY- Ani

the sky is grey
the sand is grey
and the ocean is grey

and i feel right at home
in this stunning monochrome
alone in my way

i smoke and i drink
and every time i blink
i have a tiny dream

but as bad as i am
i'm proud of the fact
that i'm worse than i seem

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

you walk through my walls
like a ghost on tv
you penetrate me

and my little pink heart
is on its little brown raft
floating out to sea

and what can i say
but i'm wired this way
and you're wired to me

and what can i do
but wallow in you
unintentionally
what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

regretfully
i guess i've only got three
simple things to say:
why me?
why this now?
why this way?
with overtones ringing
and undertows pulling away
under a sky that is grey
on sand that is grey
by an ocean that's grey

what kind of paradise am i looking for?
i've got everything i want
and still i want more
maybe some tiny shiny key
will wash up on the shore

Her lyrics are just so powerful. this song speaks to exactly the way I'm feeling right now. I was able to hole back my tears while I was driving home until this started playing and then the words just cut me so deeply that I became a blubbering puddle for the last 20 minutes of my drive. "What kind of paradise?" I truely don't know what, but there is something missing. Some little piece of the puzzle that will make everything feel good. I think that it may be someone to love me, someone who wants to be with me and only me. But maybe there is something simpler, easier to find. I'm scared that I will never find it. my tiny shiny key.
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