Life & Times, January
Wowz! A month already behind me- funny how the longer i'm alive, the faster time seems to fly!
Major topic these days being the family dynamic, interesting how this story is evolving:
Pops is feeling much better and the Parentals are in good spirits after having completed 3 rounds of chemo- they're heading back to Houston on Monday morning for round 4. They're now able to stay home for 8ish days in-between sessions, getting home on Saturday afternoons and not having to go back until the following Monday- which is nice.
At Christmas, Dad was blind and paralyzed on his left side... for an independent guy i would say his Quality of Life was at a 1.5 on the ten-scale. At that point, i wasn't sure he'd even come back... if he had to look forward to his last year or two being blind & dependent. But happy to report that after the 3 rounds of chemo (of at least 6), Dad can now see out of one eye and can walk around the house on his own. Still a very sick man, but at least he can see the grandkids and get himself to the bathroom on his own. At this point, that's HUGE. =)
We also now have a "schedule" where i'm the only one who is at their house when they get home- it is requested that my sisters & their kids not show up until Sunday. I spend the morning cleaning & getting the house ready for their arrival - "people" live out of my Mom's house during the week while they're away and amazingly dont pick up after themselves. =P
I get Pops out of the car, get him settled & stay with him while Mom gets herself & her house in order... have dinner, and go home Saturdays around 9pm when they're heading to bed.
Sundays the "circus is in town" as the siblings and three grandkids show up. Mom has given Homer a standing hall pass to not come over until Monday as he's already been managing the cat & plants etc all week while they've been away- and ill-mannered kids & "grown-ups" tend to push him near the edge rather quickly. I return around 4pm, hang out a bit and then clean my Mom's house- by this point there's always an epic pile of dishes, toys and crap everywhere... i take care of Mom's trash, recycling and generally regulate on the mess.
It's interesting that my sisters' way of coping with Dad's illness is to live as though everything is as it has always been. Which is to say that while at Mom's, they act like children... Mom cooks, they eat... leaving a mess in their wake which Mom will magically clean up. And their kids follow suit. I've accepted another paradigm where everything isn't the same. Mom is now waaay outside of her comfort-zone, driving to/from Houston weekly... checking Dad's blood sugar 5-6 times a day, managing a dozen meds- her plate is full. And full of things she never imagined. So it makes me happy to be of service to her, noticing when additional crap is being piled on that plate- and taking care of everything i can. =D
After 40+ years of marriage, my Mom's devotion to Dad is truly inspirational!
In "other news" my plan to move Homer in with the Parentals and *finally* move into my own new place has been dealt a small blow. I had lunch with my dear friend Flora on Wednesday. Flora is a retired nurse & nursing teacher (UT) and she had to remind me that lymphoma isn't something that "goes away" - you have to continue to treat it... and the patient has a compromised immune system. So it would NOT be the best idea in the World to move Homer permanently into what is ideally a sterile-ish environment. Hmm... Please, Jesus?
I figure Dad will be done with his initial six rounds of chemotherapy by mid-March, and i'll be getting back from my annual Mexico pilgrimage at about that time. I'll talk to Mom about "my story" and get her input & insight... and do some serious praying up atop Mt. Quemado.
I'll continue to dream that i give my absentee-landlady my 30-days' notice on April 1. ;)
Major topic these days being the family dynamic, interesting how this story is evolving:
Pops is feeling much better and the Parentals are in good spirits after having completed 3 rounds of chemo- they're heading back to Houston on Monday morning for round 4. They're now able to stay home for 8ish days in-between sessions, getting home on Saturday afternoons and not having to go back until the following Monday- which is nice.
At Christmas, Dad was blind and paralyzed on his left side... for an independent guy i would say his Quality of Life was at a 1.5 on the ten-scale. At that point, i wasn't sure he'd even come back... if he had to look forward to his last year or two being blind & dependent. But happy to report that after the 3 rounds of chemo (of at least 6), Dad can now see out of one eye and can walk around the house on his own. Still a very sick man, but at least he can see the grandkids and get himself to the bathroom on his own. At this point, that's HUGE. =)
We also now have a "schedule" where i'm the only one who is at their house when they get home- it is requested that my sisters & their kids not show up until Sunday. I spend the morning cleaning & getting the house ready for their arrival - "people" live out of my Mom's house during the week while they're away and amazingly dont pick up after themselves. =P
I get Pops out of the car, get him settled & stay with him while Mom gets herself & her house in order... have dinner, and go home Saturdays around 9pm when they're heading to bed.
Sundays the "circus is in town" as the siblings and three grandkids show up. Mom has given Homer a standing hall pass to not come over until Monday as he's already been managing the cat & plants etc all week while they've been away- and ill-mannered kids & "grown-ups" tend to push him near the edge rather quickly. I return around 4pm, hang out a bit and then clean my Mom's house- by this point there's always an epic pile of dishes, toys and crap everywhere... i take care of Mom's trash, recycling and generally regulate on the mess.
It's interesting that my sisters' way of coping with Dad's illness is to live as though everything is as it has always been. Which is to say that while at Mom's, they act like children... Mom cooks, they eat... leaving a mess in their wake which Mom will magically clean up. And their kids follow suit. I've accepted another paradigm where everything isn't the same. Mom is now waaay outside of her comfort-zone, driving to/from Houston weekly... checking Dad's blood sugar 5-6 times a day, managing a dozen meds- her plate is full. And full of things she never imagined. So it makes me happy to be of service to her, noticing when additional crap is being piled on that plate- and taking care of everything i can. =D
After 40+ years of marriage, my Mom's devotion to Dad is truly inspirational!
In "other news" my plan to move Homer in with the Parentals and *finally* move into my own new place has been dealt a small blow. I had lunch with my dear friend Flora on Wednesday. Flora is a retired nurse & nursing teacher (UT) and she had to remind me that lymphoma isn't something that "goes away" - you have to continue to treat it... and the patient has a compromised immune system. So it would NOT be the best idea in the World to move Homer permanently into what is ideally a sterile-ish environment. Hmm... Please, Jesus?
I figure Dad will be done with his initial six rounds of chemotherapy by mid-March, and i'll be getting back from my annual Mexico pilgrimage at about that time. I'll talk to Mom about "my story" and get her input & insight... and do some serious praying up atop Mt. Quemado.
I'll continue to dream that i give my absentee-landlady my 30-days' notice on April 1. ;)