U KNow, Chillin

[r3dlightpledge]

Well, im sittin in english with the R-0-b and just sorta thinking. I just sorta have been wondering whenever i get close to a girl, every thing seems to go wrong. Either they realize it isnt right ot they just dont want a bf. They always say it isnt me..but is that really true? Girls always say how sweet and loving and kind i am but how come i cant seem to make a girl happy. For 3 weeks, we both are in paradise and then it just falls apart. I have no idea y, it just does...I have to be doing something wrong and the only way i can correct from my mistakes is from expeience. Im not saying i am gonna try and date every person i meet, im not saying that at all. I just need to learn how to love.. Of course i can make a girl feel special and have them be real happy but what else can i do? I need a girl to just sweep me off my feet, so i dont have a worry in the world.. I want a girl who will make me so happy and most of all i need a girl to teach me how to not only love but to control my love. I dont mean in the physical aspects, because i know i have no problem there but i mean in the emotional. I know how love, depression and hate feels like. But i have never been really able to control them. I just want one steady relationship, i am tired of these little shinanigans that mean so much to me and then just end.. I want something long with some1 i can trust and care about. I think the biggest turn on for a girl is honesty and innocence...Being honest is so key to a good relationship and being innocent is so enjoyable bc both of the "lovers" are learning so much. Maybe i should'nt think about love and girls this much but i really cant help it, as rob simply puts it, "brad you are emo to the extreme-o." But i am quite excited bc once i find that special some1 i know i am gonna make their head spin.. through one way or another i will be the sweetest guy ever and make them feel so happy that they will never have to worry. As soon as i find her, it will be heaven. I seem to always sit in my bed and think....if only she had thoughts for me or some crazy shit like that..well i just relized i got to put those thoughts in her head. This might be hard for me bc it is hard for me to express my feelings in the beginning...but once it has begun..man oh man...it sure is an adventure...I know i get scared in the begnning but i can just imagine going to her house during the weekdays and just sitting in her arms for hours...ai dont know y but i love those little things that show some1 u care about them...I need to stop dreaming..ha
Here is my qoute for the journal entry,
Brand New-"Ill be what all the other boys promised"
This is what i KNOW i will be.
Well thats all for now
Update later when i get home