(no subject)
I now officially have a dreadhawk.
I love it.
tuesday night I felt like I was needing some sort of major change. I almost combed my dreads out entirely. But I didn't have a comb with me. Sooooo I decided to grab a pair of scissors and chop away instead. Holy crap that was a lot of hair.
I friggin love my hair now. I will post pictures eventually mebbe.
In other news, I'm starting a search for my birth mother. I contacted the Nebraska Children's Home and started talking to a case worker who is helping me out. It's something I've needed to do for a really long time, and I think now it would benefit me more than ever. I feel like it would be a positive step forward and would maybe help me fill the void I've been feeling in my life.
Also, I might go see my dr/psychiatrist... My next appointment isn't until october, but since I've been having so much emotional trouble for the past few months, I think it would *probably* be a good idea to go. My parents have been really worried about me lately and we've had our fair share of arguments and and heated discussions which have ended up with me storming out of the house and not talking to them for days.
I'm not going to lie, I need help. It started out as stress and frustration with school, then not being happy living in lincoln, then I developed this mild depression and I turned passive aggressive towards my roommates, which just made living conditions even worse. I cry a lot. I've been pushing away a lot of my friends (which has resulted in me maybe having lost two friendships that had been really important to me).
The only person I really hang out with anymore is Dillon. I know a lot of you don't like him for whatever reason. That's fine. But he's really important to me and is currently my closest friend. Feel what you want, say what you like.
I'm just feeling so unstable. everything seems to be crumbling at the edges. I haven't been able to have a decent conversation with my parents lately because my mom just turns everything around to me "not feeling well", and I don't feel like I can go to my apartment because I know I'm not wanted there. Thank god for dillon's mom. She's been so wonderful to me. I don't even know if she knows the situation at hand. Probably not. She's a sweetheart anyway.
In a nutshell, I'm at the point where I realize I need some sort of help. I'm in a rut I can't seem to get out of and I just keep falling more and more.
I just really hope I haven't ostracized myself too much from most of you. If I have, I apologize. I just need to be forced out of isolation. I need something healthy. I need an encouraging social environment.
End vent.
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I love it.
tuesday night I felt like I was needing some sort of major change. I almost combed my dreads out entirely. But I didn't have a comb with me. Sooooo I decided to grab a pair of scissors and chop away instead. Holy crap that was a lot of hair.
I friggin love my hair now. I will post pictures eventually mebbe.
In other news, I'm starting a search for my birth mother. I contacted the Nebraska Children's Home and started talking to a case worker who is helping me out. It's something I've needed to do for a really long time, and I think now it would benefit me more than ever. I feel like it would be a positive step forward and would maybe help me fill the void I've been feeling in my life.
Also, I might go see my dr/psychiatrist... My next appointment isn't until october, but since I've been having so much emotional trouble for the past few months, I think it would *probably* be a good idea to go. My parents have been really worried about me lately and we've had our fair share of arguments and and heated discussions which have ended up with me storming out of the house and not talking to them for days.
I'm not going to lie, I need help. It started out as stress and frustration with school, then not being happy living in lincoln, then I developed this mild depression and I turned passive aggressive towards my roommates, which just made living conditions even worse. I cry a lot. I've been pushing away a lot of my friends (which has resulted in me maybe having lost two friendships that had been really important to me).
The only person I really hang out with anymore is Dillon. I know a lot of you don't like him for whatever reason. That's fine. But he's really important to me and is currently my closest friend. Feel what you want, say what you like.
I'm just feeling so unstable. everything seems to be crumbling at the edges. I haven't been able to have a decent conversation with my parents lately because my mom just turns everything around to me "not feeling well", and I don't feel like I can go to my apartment because I know I'm not wanted there. Thank god for dillon's mom. She's been so wonderful to me. I don't even know if she knows the situation at hand. Probably not. She's a sweetheart anyway.
In a nutshell, I'm at the point where I realize I need some sort of help. I'm in a rut I can't seem to get out of and I just keep falling more and more.
I just really hope I haven't ostracized myself too much from most of you. If I have, I apologize. I just need to be forced out of isolation. I need something healthy. I need an encouraging social environment.
End vent.
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