208 * AGAIN
This is my __th attempt at posting, after a few months of not doing so and the failure to type out anything is somewhat self-perpetuating. It's about 3 weeks to the A levels, yet the way I'm going doesn't feel anything like it. Reading my friends page has suddenly drawn my attention to the fact that it was the end of school, officially anyway, and I can't help but wonder how I've been oblivious to it. What would have seemed like such a big deal in the past has only degenerated into a mere haze, one dust particle mingling with the next, dancing yes, but slowly and maybe sadly.
Looking back, I think there were many things I would have wanted to record down, but have neglected to do so - all the concerts I've been to (Jason Mraz, Jamie Cullum, Coldplay), watching the World Cup outside and sleeping on the streets like vagabonds, MAF which very few but precious people went for, and the fact that I can't remember anything else is almost depressing. I think in general I feel like I've discarded memory by the roadside, there's very little I recall now - it's funny how I can wade through the rice deltas of the Irrawady and see peasants maiming the cattle of chettyars and yet not be able to distinguish one social outing from the next.
I feel a bit overwhelmed suddenly, by the opportunities that have presented themselves and yet none of them tantalising enough to grab at. I am suffering from a monomania so as to speak, one that makes me deliriously happy, but also one that makes me feel ponderous of its alternatives. Everyone chugs on with their studying, but no one knowing what they really hope to achieve, or what they really want to do in the future. Granted, maybe some do, but maybe most of you are like me, doing what you do because you know it's the right thing to do, but not actually knowing why.
Looking back, I think there were many things I would have wanted to record down, but have neglected to do so - all the concerts I've been to (Jason Mraz, Jamie Cullum, Coldplay), watching the World Cup outside and sleeping on the streets like vagabonds, MAF which very few but precious people went for, and the fact that I can't remember anything else is almost depressing. I think in general I feel like I've discarded memory by the roadside, there's very little I recall now - it's funny how I can wade through the rice deltas of the Irrawady and see peasants maiming the cattle of chettyars and yet not be able to distinguish one social outing from the next.
I feel a bit overwhelmed suddenly, by the opportunities that have presented themselves and yet none of them tantalising enough to grab at. I am suffering from a monomania so as to speak, one that makes me deliriously happy, but also one that makes me feel ponderous of its alternatives. Everyone chugs on with their studying, but no one knowing what they really hope to achieve, or what they really want to do in the future. Granted, maybe some do, but maybe most of you are like me, doing what you do because you know it's the right thing to do, but not actually knowing why.