(no subject)
so as i sit here and write my thoughts i am crying a tear for everyone who has meant something to me. for those who made me laugh when i was at my worst, who came over and comforted me in the face of tragedy, who held me on their shoulders so i could see, who pushed me to do things i normally wouldnt do, who brought me bags of movies when i was sick, who made everything so funny and akward, who brought class to the table, who would talk to me about rediculous and 12-year-old subjects, who would go shopping with me and make me buy true religion jeans, who helped me study, who cheered me on, who supported me, who would point out things i needed to change, who screamed with me at the top of our lungs at concerts, who would eat candy with me till we couldnt eat any more, who saw the world with me, who i have known since the begining of time, who lit off firecrackers, who gave me hugs, who gave me advice, and who made me who i am today. honestly i dont know how i could have gotten through life without my friends and family. how do you thank people for something like that? how do you appoligize for something you cant change?
but more importantly, why is there never enough time. i leave for college in nine or so hours. leave, for a very long time. my life has already changed since yesterday. my mom and brother moved up to tahoe. i saw all of my friends at a goodbye dinner. and it has still barely sunk in...i am the first to leave. i have built up so many relationships, some have lasted and some have passed on. those that have withstood the test of time, weather it be a few months or nearly a decade, those people have made the memories that have shaped my life and who i am. and to think that as of tomorrow, those relationships will enter a new and unknown stage is a very scary and unreal thought.
i am horrible at goodbyes and words dont seem to satisfy how i really feel. i love you guys with all of my heart. and i will never forget all of the great times i have had. to know that i can no longer swallow back my tears for each and every one of you is proves that.
the expression "love hurts" has new meaning to me. and i am not just referring to the romantic kind. i am talking about a relationships with someone that runs so deep that when unforseen events, or enevitable ones come about, it hurts. it hurts to have to say goodbye to the ones you love and cherish so dearly. not knowning when you will see them again, or knowing that it will be a very long time until you cross paths. that is the kind of hurt that does not heal, because there are no wrongdoings or appologies. time heels, yes, but the pain, the pain of love for a friend, hurts in a different way. a way that is almost satisfying because it lets you know how much you care, but in a way that is devestating because there is nothing you can do to change what must be done.
i wish i knew how to say this all better, but please know, that i love you, i will always love you. you guys are the reason i smile. and i am crying because i will miss every one of you like crazy...like crazy.
"and the tears come streaming down your face, when you leave something you cant replace"
but more importantly, why is there never enough time. i leave for college in nine or so hours. leave, for a very long time. my life has already changed since yesterday. my mom and brother moved up to tahoe. i saw all of my friends at a goodbye dinner. and it has still barely sunk in...i am the first to leave. i have built up so many relationships, some have lasted and some have passed on. those that have withstood the test of time, weather it be a few months or nearly a decade, those people have made the memories that have shaped my life and who i am. and to think that as of tomorrow, those relationships will enter a new and unknown stage is a very scary and unreal thought.
i am horrible at goodbyes and words dont seem to satisfy how i really feel. i love you guys with all of my heart. and i will never forget all of the great times i have had. to know that i can no longer swallow back my tears for each and every one of you is proves that.
the expression "love hurts" has new meaning to me. and i am not just referring to the romantic kind. i am talking about a relationships with someone that runs so deep that when unforseen events, or enevitable ones come about, it hurts. it hurts to have to say goodbye to the ones you love and cherish so dearly. not knowning when you will see them again, or knowing that it will be a very long time until you cross paths. that is the kind of hurt that does not heal, because there are no wrongdoings or appologies. time heels, yes, but the pain, the pain of love for a friend, hurts in a different way. a way that is almost satisfying because it lets you know how much you care, but in a way that is devestating because there is nothing you can do to change what must be done.
i wish i knew how to say this all better, but please know, that i love you, i will always love you. you guys are the reason i smile. and i am crying because i will miss every one of you like crazy...like crazy.
"and the tears come streaming down your face, when you leave something you cant replace"