(no subject)
Well I was kind of having a rough day so I quickly jotted my feelings down on paper and I ended up with a poem in about five minutes....
Mirror of Shame:
I look through the mirror and what do I see
I see a selfish, controlling, freak staring back at me
Everyday the pain within screams
Breaking through lasting what seems like eternity
I know I’m not perfect
I see my flaws and defects of character
But yet they still lie within
Taunting
Teasing
I wish to be free of these chains
Of this guilt
The shackles holding my feet together as I twist
As I tear away leaving scars
Leaving marks, memories that won’t ever fade
I stare and contemplate my worth
How much am I worth
My whole life I felt like I was never up to par
Never what I wanted to be
Never what they wanted me to be
Now I’ve grown up and I see what I’ve become
And it isn’t what I have always had my dreams set on
I am demanding, sarcastic, my intentions are good
I run away from myself
As far away from myself
If I can’t stand to be near myself
Why on Earth would I think for one second I am worth it?
I am not worth it so why don’t you all just give up?
If I am worth it then shower me with love
With faith, with encouragement
And I will persevere beyond all that is expected
Love of some form:
I pick and I pull and I rip you apart
Leaving bits and pieces of your heart
Somehow you manage to walk away with a smile and say
I love her with every ounce of my soul
I know I’ve messed up
And I try to change my ways
As many times as days are passing me by
Leaving me here dry, to die, as I continue on
Tormenting and tearing away until every part of you is gone
I lost the sight of what was real
Who was real and why they were there
You are there
The only one who was ever there
And you are the most important person in my life
And even though it seems like I carry a knife
I care for you with all my heart
I know I pick and I pull and I rip you apart
But I rarely mean the words I say
I find reason under certain circumstances to create chaos
But in the end…I like you exactly how you are
I LOVE YOU exactly the way you are
Mirror of Shame:
I look through the mirror and what do I see
I see a selfish, controlling, freak staring back at me
Everyday the pain within screams
Breaking through lasting what seems like eternity
I know I’m not perfect
I see my flaws and defects of character
But yet they still lie within
Taunting
Teasing
I wish to be free of these chains
Of this guilt
The shackles holding my feet together as I twist
As I tear away leaving scars
Leaving marks, memories that won’t ever fade
I stare and contemplate my worth
How much am I worth
My whole life I felt like I was never up to par
Never what I wanted to be
Never what they wanted me to be
Now I’ve grown up and I see what I’ve become
And it isn’t what I have always had my dreams set on
I am demanding, sarcastic, my intentions are good
I run away from myself
As far away from myself
If I can’t stand to be near myself
Why on Earth would I think for one second I am worth it?
I am not worth it so why don’t you all just give up?
If I am worth it then shower me with love
With faith, with encouragement
And I will persevere beyond all that is expected
Love of some form:
I pick and I pull and I rip you apart
Leaving bits and pieces of your heart
Somehow you manage to walk away with a smile and say
I love her with every ounce of my soul
I know I’ve messed up
And I try to change my ways
As many times as days are passing me by
Leaving me here dry, to die, as I continue on
Tormenting and tearing away until every part of you is gone
I lost the sight of what was real
Who was real and why they were there
You are there
The only one who was ever there
And you are the most important person in my life
And even though it seems like I carry a knife
I care for you with all my heart
I know I pick and I pull and I rip you apart
But I rarely mean the words I say
I find reason under certain circumstances to create chaos
But in the end…I like you exactly how you are
I LOVE YOU exactly the way you are