(no subject)
This is pretty extreme I guess...Possibly stuff you didn't know about me...
1. I am extremly self-concious
2. I hate being wrong.
3. I have (or had) drug dealers, whores, porn-addicts, criminals, suicidal people, alcoholics, abusive people, smokers, and lesbians in my "family".
4. I always felt as if my family was out to ruin my life.
5. I would be in foster care right now if it weren't for my step-mom.
6. My dad is an Alcoholic and went to jail for hitting me at 2 months old.
7. My brother wrongly accused my dad of molesting me and got him sent to jail.
8. I used to get chased around the house with a butcher knife.
9. Randomly.
10. Because my brother was mad at my mom.
11. I've been blamed for everyone else's issues my whole life.
12. The only reason my step-mom married my dad was to keep me from a harder childhood.
13. I was molested when I was 7.
14. I am extremly hard on myself.
15. I tend to look on the darker side of things...
16. I try to be happy even though I'm really not.
17. I have nightmares daily on the flashbacks of my past.
18. I get really upset when people threaten to hit me or raise their hand as if they're going to.
19. It frightens me.
20. I love the thought of being a vampire.
21. I've thought about suicide...but would never actually do it.
22. I strive to be the best and when I'm not I feel incapable and have mental breakdowns.
23. I bury myself in activites and school work so I don't have to go home.
24. My brother is a pathelogical liar and I love him anyway.
25. I am in love and have done more than I planned on doing sexually.
26. I feel selfish and like a bitch about 90% of the time.
27. It bothers me that people say that if they saw me in the hallway that they wouldn't talk to me b/c I look mean.
28. I judge people even thought I try not to.
29. I am a huge hippicrit and basically do whatever I say not to do.
30. I point out the faults in others to make myself look better.
31. I never say anything that I don't mean...I'm very straight-forward which sometimes leads to consequences.
32. II have an uncany ability to think before I do something.
33. it scares me when my dad screams in my face.
34. I love hugs...I give them because I want everyone to feel as loved as I want to feel.
35. I have nan obsession with food.
36. I basically made myself sick so I would have an excuse to eat in school.
37. I hate it when people act as if their your friends and talk shit about you behind your back.
38. I hate that I can never be right because I'm a kid and I don't know anything/
39. I feel fat a lot and hate showing off my body.
40. I feel as if I'm being held back in my studies because of other people...
41. I was abused as a kid.
42. I am almost always the best at everything that I attempt...
43. II love to dance...even though I'm white.
44. I love giving gifts to people...not because I expect anything in return but because I love knowing I made them smile.
45. I love making projects and sometimes I feel overly confident in my work...
46. I feel as if my friends and family are going to abandon me because of who I am.
47. My grandparents never liked me.
48. They play favorites and chose my brother instead.
49. I use to have to see my brother get beaten everyday and know I couldn't do anything about it.
50. My brother makes me feel like shit.
51. He makes up lies about me and gets me in serious trouble.
52. I wish that Ryan lived by me...
53. I wish I went to a better school academics wise.
54. I feel EXTREMLY uncomfortable when I don't understand something.
55. I always ask for help even when I know the answer.
56. I wish that everyone in the world would be orange so that we wouldn't have to worry about racism.
57. I wish that my family down south wasn't racist..
58. I wish that my mom, dad, and brother could be in the same room without killing each other.
59. I wish that my mom hadn't given my brother Noah up for adoption because I want to know him.
60. So bad!!
61. I feel like a piece of me is missing constantly
62. Sometimes I feel as if I'm never going to amount to anything and never get married.
63. I feel like an outcast and doubt my friendship's a lot.
64. I feel like I'm losing all that is known to me.
65. Like the only thing good in my life is disappearing.
66. I have trouble falling asleep at night...I never get enough rest.
67. At least not to the point of being happy.
68. I am an absolute touchy feely person and my mom use to tell me I was gonna get raped b/c of it.
69. I had a 25 year old guy offer my mom 1,000 dollars to have a 3-some with us...ewww...
70. I regret the fact that my dad is so materialistic.
71. He would rather live a life of luxury than have me in his life.
72. It really bugs me when people meet me and think I have a perfect life because I'm smart..
73. I wish they would just die.
74. I feel like breaking down in tears a lot, but can't.
75. I am upset that even though all this stuff has happened I can't ever get over it.
76. I hold grudges way too long.
77. I am very manipulative and get what I want through words.
78. I am the most opinionated person and speak what's on my mind.
79. II wish people would think about what they say before they say it to me.
80. I hate that people look at me differently and sometimes pity me b/c of what I've been through.
81. I hate that people think I'm fake because I compliment them on something.
82. I never say anything I don't mean.
83. I have a tendency of sucking up to teachers to better myself.
84. I hate Ms. Cook.
85. She made my life a living hell.
86. I hate it when people aren't proper and I constantly correct them; even adults.
87. If you're actually reading this...Comment on how you feel please...otherwise it seems like you don't care.
88. I am too sarcastic and need to learn when to shut my mouth.
89. II am a huge procratinator and can't help, but do things the morning of.
90. I am constantly stressed and bring it upon myself.
91. I listen to classical music to calm me.
92. I am very outgoing and sometimes intimidating.
93. I act confident so that people think that I am.
94. I wish my parent's would stop pointing out all the bad things in me and realize that I am responsible.
95. I don't lie to my parents...And they never believe me anyway.
96. I hate that my brother gets away with everything he does.
97. I hate that he blames it on me.
98. I hate that my mom makes me feel guilty for not coming over frequently.
99. I wish she could understand that David is too much of a threat and her smoking is killing me.
100. I wish she acted like she actually gave a damn about how I feel.
Wow...Didn't think I had that much...