(no subject)
oh my fucking god you guys im so scared.
im always so scared.
im scared that ill be left, duh.
so much fucing anexiety!
alright, now a day, i see john, every single day now.
and like, thats alot of reminder, ya know?
and thats horrible, because do you fucking know what it would be like if we broke up?
when ever i get a boy, whether intended to or not, they do or i do, get into the others reutine.
we are like connected at the hip or something, its horrible.
and it always buggs me!
but do i ever do anything about it?
hell no, i dont want to risk.... anything...
that had a meaning but i couldnt pin point the feeling.
ugh, but with john, its like im connected at the whole left side of me!
and i love it!
but just think of how all of my life would just stop and result to me doing nothing and sitting at home hating myself.
it would be awful, and, as an added bonus my ass, my boyfriends always tell me they want us to be pestered by one another 24/7, and i dont want to because i dont want them or i to get tiered, but then i get super attached and they start feeling cluster-phobic 'all the sudden' and my life ends, and im left the only one with the aftermath.
FUCK THAT.
i like john alot, and yay he likes me too!
but i notice i see him ALOT and i notice little shit, and obsess, so this could all be nothing but...
is john going to get tiered of me?
to used to me?
feel like he has no space to himself?
i dont want a good feeling like this to end.
and i dont want it to for either of us.
im not used to such an open relationship though, and he does seem alot different.
and when im with him.... shit i hate this feeling because it always ends!
it never stays there!
because im feelin way to damn good and somethins gotta go wrong real soon.
i dont remeber the actuall lyrics.
p.s. i miss michelle.
o miss alot of shit, and im to afraid to commit to one GREAT thing.
no- i am commited, im just holding on for dear life then letting go because im afraid im squezzing to hard.