(no subject)
I'm not doing so good. I always return here whenever I'm not doing well emotionally or mentally. I don't know why. I just do. I'm having that feeling again where I feel like I'm talking so much and screaming to be heard, and it seems like no one is listening. I know this isn't true. I basically had a two and a half hour group therapy session today, and I know they were listening. I could see it in their reactions. Of course, it's not really group therapy, it's actual a group in which we're doing projects with social identities in them, but sometimes the way we talk it's a lot like group therapy.
But that group is like a part of a Different World. Then I come home and I'm back in the Real World, in my Real Life, and it all sucks again. I am more comfortable around the people in that group, people who I've only known since January and that's not even all of them, than I am with my family, and the people that I consider my best friends. It's just so messed up. And these people that I am so comfortable around aren't really in my life. I see them twice a week now and once school starts back up, I won't even see them that often. Once a week, with some of them.
I know I shouldn't really be looking this far ahead, but I don't know what I'll do without this support. I need it.
But that group is like a part of a Different World. Then I come home and I'm back in the Real World, in my Real Life, and it all sucks again. I am more comfortable around the people in that group, people who I've only known since January and that's not even all of them, than I am with my family, and the people that I consider my best friends. It's just so messed up. And these people that I am so comfortable around aren't really in my life. I see them twice a week now and once school starts back up, I won't even see them that often. Once a week, with some of them.
I know I shouldn't really be looking this far ahead, but I don't know what I'll do without this support. I need it.