These Times, No Rhymes
These Times, No Rhymes
When faced with an unfathomable situation, folks often give out the following ludicrous platitude:
“There's no rhyme or reason to it.”
Uh....Would it really be all that helpful if it rhymed? Seriously?
Now that I've pointed it out, isn't that one of the stupidest phrases you've ever heard?
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Gangsta rappers rhyme. They've expanded their limited, ungrammatical vocabulary to include five new words that rhyme with trucker. Do they seem so full of Reason?
I hate Rap. Can't stand the notion that it's considered “music”. By definition, it is NOT music. It has no melody and no harmony, only rhythm, and therefore is missing two of the most fundamental elements of music. Factor in how unwholesome it virtually always is, and it's cRap. And although it rhymes, very often there is no reason for that last word of a line, or even that entire line, barring the need for a rhyming sound. I once asked my son if he could understand the text without hearing it multiple times. I figured I was just an old fuddy duddy stick in the mud and a musical snob from that BA in music I got back in the Jurassic Era (that one right before the Baroque era, where dinosaurs roamed the Earth with crumhorns and sackbuts). He said, no, he couldn't understand them half the time, and didn't bother. (This is the one who likes Rap.) He also told me not to bother looking up the lyrics. Not only would I discover more filth than I caught in the first run through, but that generally, nothing makes any sense anyway, including the rhyming. I was astounded. So why does anyone like it? Or rather, why doesn't the (stupid) general public insist on them making some sense with it at least?
And I think I've read far too many children's books to my two sons back when. Whenever I hear Rap music (in the short interval between me checking the road ahead, and then reaching for the radio dial to change it), all I can think of is -
“The cat in the hat, he is so PHAT !”
or
“If you put me in the zoo, oh the %$*@#ing things that I could do.”