Ugh...Frustrated.
It sucks when you try so hard on something to get a desired outcome and it does no good whatsoever. Take for instance exams in college. Your required to take these classes for your major so you try to do the best you can cause you want to succeed. you study for atleast a week in advance so that you can pull out a grade that you are satisfied with, but when it comes time for the test, all that studying gets you nowhere. I get SO frustrated with myself in situations like that, that i cant help but beat myself up over it!! I tried my best, which is good, but its not good enough to get a passing grade. I hate having to deal with getting a C or lower in a class. Ive NEVER got anything lower than a B in a class till i came to college. Its a new world where i dont get A's and B's on everything, or am not one of the top students in the class, or where things dont come easy for me like in high school. It has definitely been a wake up call to me this year. I feel so dumb because the only classes that im good at are either art classes or interior design decorating classes. Its unbelievably hard to keep a positive attitude about everything and around other people when im frustrated as hell inside! Reading my bible and prayer have been the only things that have kept me sane and have made me stand back up and continue with college. I was reminded of the verse John 16:33 from a good friend the other day, which reminded me that the Lord overcame the WORLD, so i can overcome my problems. I just have to keep on going and pushing through the frustration and tears. The Lord is with me every step of the way.