"select" is a workhorse, "update" is as routine as a pair of pants. "coalesce" is something special

[qwantz]

An Ode To Coalesce

Coalesce
I must confess
You're my favourite database function

Coalesce
With such finesse
You return the first non-null value in the argument list

Coalesce
You do impress
With the lovely name you've chosen

Coalesce
When I assess
All the other database functions you're always among my favourites