(no subject)
by writing that last entry, ijust fucked everything else up even more...now dave is even more frustrated at me, bonnie and lauren are pissed, and now im just done..screw trying to get the thoughts out to feel better...im just gonna go through it and not try to save myself from doing something horrible..no, not killing myself, just isolatiing myself from everything, ive done it once and i can do it again..so far im doing it..messing up everything with bonnnie and lauren, daves losing his mind, and im just not making it..ahhh shit...this sucks...no wonder why no one listens to me...
im so fuckn sorry bon and lauren, it just seems, in the state im in, that im gonna lose both of you beacuse of ur growoing friendship..its happened once to me and i really dotn want it to happen again. i always mess everything up...now that expalains why im never around for the good stuff. becuase i do shit like this..now neither of u is going to talk to me for the next few days..and it fucknig sucks...dave im sorry for fucking stuff up and i just dont want you to move on and say screw you to me..im, sorry...i just am scared of losing everything i already have....
im so fuckn sorry bon and lauren, it just seems, in the state im in, that im gonna lose both of you beacuse of ur growoing friendship..its happened once to me and i really dotn want it to happen again. i always mess everything up...now that expalains why im never around for the good stuff. becuase i do shit like this..now neither of u is going to talk to me for the next few days..and it fucknig sucks...dave im sorry for fucking stuff up and i just dont want you to move on and say screw you to me..im, sorry...i just am scared of losing everything i already have....