one year... R.I.P.
well today is a year...(since i lost the baby)... R.I.P. Baby!!!
it seems like yesterday. i hate the thought of it. but i cant help but to think about it at least once a day. Its the hardest thing to get over. i hate it!
i want to have a baby so bad. it would help the healing process. like i want to prego right now, if that was possible which i know it could be, but i know it wont happen.
i wish it never happened. i sometimes wish that it was at birth so i could maybe choose the baby to live instead of me.(if thats would be possible.) I just wish there was something i could have done to not let it happen. I feel like it was my fault. I feel like i did something to make this happen. I feel i was too happy and something didnt want me to be happy ever again. (dont ask. idk what to think anymore... trust me its hard to think about things all together)
It happened at work. That sucked. Now i have that to think about at work too. BLAAAAAH i hate that! I even know the party i was working at the time and who i talked to so i could go to the doctors and i remember every minute of that day! FUCK THAT DAY! i hate this...
I just need help to get through this. I tried depression pills, DON'T WORK. tried talking to people, DON'T WORK. I'm thinking about counceling, maybe, but idk if i want to do that. I just hate this so much.
Wow things suck sometimes. I dont think there is a way to help me. but oh well whatever.. idk anymore...
I need help..
if anyone knows what to do, let me know.. tell me.. I NEED YOU TO TELL ME!! PLEASE
it seems like yesterday. i hate the thought of it. but i cant help but to think about it at least once a day. Its the hardest thing to get over. i hate it!
i want to have a baby so bad. it would help the healing process. like i want to prego right now, if that was possible which i know it could be, but i know it wont happen.
i wish it never happened. i sometimes wish that it was at birth so i could maybe choose the baby to live instead of me.(if thats would be possible.) I just wish there was something i could have done to not let it happen. I feel like it was my fault. I feel like i did something to make this happen. I feel i was too happy and something didnt want me to be happy ever again. (dont ask. idk what to think anymore... trust me its hard to think about things all together)
It happened at work. That sucked. Now i have that to think about at work too. BLAAAAAH i hate that! I even know the party i was working at the time and who i talked to so i could go to the doctors and i remember every minute of that day! FUCK THAT DAY! i hate this...
I just need help to get through this. I tried depression pills, DON'T WORK. tried talking to people, DON'T WORK. I'm thinking about counceling, maybe, but idk if i want to do that. I just hate this so much.
Wow things suck sometimes. I dont think there is a way to help me. but oh well whatever.. idk anymore...
I need help..
if anyone knows what to do, let me know.. tell me.. I NEED YOU TO TELL ME!! PLEASE