oh craP

[qutepatudy]

well this sucks. i can handle the being single. i can handle him seeing someone else. i can handle the fact that he's seeing my best friend. i can't handle the fact that i was done dirty. i was lied to and broken up with for her. i mean, it would have been one thing if things hadn't worked out between us, and then she started dating him after i got myself back in working order. but instead of giving me some time, i lost the guy i was "dating" (or so i thought i was) and my best friend within a week of eachother. i know i said that i would never hate her if anything happened between the two of them because it didn't work out between me and him, but i never thought i would get dumped for her. i never thought that she would have chosen him over our friendship either. it's going to take a long time for this one. i can't stop thinking about what happened, and for some reason its the only thing on my mind. as hard as i try, i just can't shove it out. the worst part is that i can't stop thinking about what's happening at the exact moment. my head keeps playing all these games and i start picturing things and imagining things, and it just makes me sick. i can't stomach it.

so, if you've read this, send lots of love, lots of happy thoughts, and happy stuff for me to think about. no more of this "abbey's a downer" shit. i can't stand myself anymore. i just wanna be happy.