life can't get any better... right?
i'm sick of the fucking rain.
it stopped.
whoop-
anywhoo... i ABHOR this rain; it refuses to stop. and when it says it'll rain its hardest, it doesn't. what kind of bull is this?
so yeah, i've been talking to marc... again.
last thursday, i remember... i had the best fucking day i'd had in weeks. but at the end of fifth period, i broke down into tears. why? i don't know... i just did. after school, i went for a walk... i ran into some girl from pc- and i talked to her cuz i told her i was thinking about switching out of colony and going there. after hearing her talk about it, i was actually considering going there. while i was walking home, i saw marc playing basketball at the courts by my house, so i thought... why don't i talk to him? it's really been four months since the last time we ever had a conversation; the most i'd said to him between that period of time was this one time i called and said, "hey, is your sister home?" we talked, in the cold, until it got dark.
after rei's party, i was talking to him on the phone until 002 in the morning. i can honestly say that i've missed talking to him, and that conversation was probably one of the best ones i've had with a guy in awhile.
the day after that conversation, i didn't think i'd talk to him ever again.
on tuesday, we were talking, he told me >>
"...after we broke up, i told myself that i'd get you back, someday. and i promise you, that's one promise i'll never break."
it was something sweet and mushier than that.. i cant quite remember. after he said that, i wanted to fall into his arms and say yes; but i can't. after we broke up, i started to do so many things, i mean.. i can't just drop everything for him.
i'm not as vulnerable as i used to be.
so i told him i'd tell him my answer later... and i told him today. my answer? i said that i want to be with him, but i can't.. i mean, i barely have any time to keep up with friends, do school work, church, and yearbook. my life is pathetic; i know. but that's how it goes, and i can't drop everything.
what am i supposed to do? =/
oh, but tomorrow is marc's birthday... i'm taking him out. and i get to pay! YESS!
pretzel's birfday was yesterday; happy bertday to him. i think he was high? man...
i'm going to king's ball on saturday! woohooo!! my date? uh.. its either going to be KATE!! and my backup is marc.. haha, i don't know. kate's going for sure though. we just kinda need to buy our ticket. kinda.
tonight's the night rally; tomorrow night powder puff... rah, go school.
it stopped.
whoop-
anywhoo... i ABHOR this rain; it refuses to stop. and when it says it'll rain its hardest, it doesn't. what kind of bull is this?
so yeah, i've been talking to marc... again.
last thursday, i remember... i had the best fucking day i'd had in weeks. but at the end of fifth period, i broke down into tears. why? i don't know... i just did. after school, i went for a walk... i ran into some girl from pc- and i talked to her cuz i told her i was thinking about switching out of colony and going there. after hearing her talk about it, i was actually considering going there. while i was walking home, i saw marc playing basketball at the courts by my house, so i thought... why don't i talk to him? it's really been four months since the last time we ever had a conversation; the most i'd said to him between that period of time was this one time i called and said, "hey, is your sister home?" we talked, in the cold, until it got dark.
after rei's party, i was talking to him on the phone until 002 in the morning. i can honestly say that i've missed talking to him, and that conversation was probably one of the best ones i've had with a guy in awhile.
the day after that conversation, i didn't think i'd talk to him ever again.
on tuesday, we were talking, he told me >>
"...after we broke up, i told myself that i'd get you back, someday. and i promise you, that's one promise i'll never break."
it was something sweet and mushier than that.. i cant quite remember. after he said that, i wanted to fall into his arms and say yes; but i can't. after we broke up, i started to do so many things, i mean.. i can't just drop everything for him.
i'm not as vulnerable as i used to be.
so i told him i'd tell him my answer later... and i told him today. my answer? i said that i want to be with him, but i can't.. i mean, i barely have any time to keep up with friends, do school work, church, and yearbook. my life is pathetic; i know. but that's how it goes, and i can't drop everything.
what am i supposed to do? =/
oh, but tomorrow is marc's birthday... i'm taking him out. and i get to pay! YESS!
pretzel's birfday was yesterday; happy bertday to him. i think he was high? man...
i'm going to king's ball on saturday! woohooo!! my date? uh.. its either going to be KATE!! and my backup is marc.. haha, i don't know. kate's going for sure though. we just kinda need to buy our ticket. kinda.
tonight's the night rally; tomorrow night powder puff... rah, go school.