nobody said it was easy...
Yes, I'm still here. Sad, lonely, bit confused, but here, in one piece, with a million good memories from the last month. I wish I could do the last three weeks over again; not to do something or anything differently, but just to relive them.
OK, i'll start from the beginning.
Camp was...an experience, I guess. Compared to Crane Lake, it definitely lacked in the fun department. I.e. there's virtually no color war at Ramah, too much forced religion and not enough spirituality. Not enough something. The whole summer I felt like I was missing something. Traditions, I guess. The camp is too young, especially compared to CLC which is like a million years old, to have real traditions for the kids, which is sad because that's part of what can make a camp so great. Maybe I'm just getting too old, bitter and jaded.
The best thing about camp was definitely meeting Shachar, my boyfriend. He came home with me after camp ended and we had an amazing time being together all the time for three weeks. Went to the beach in South carolina, went to New York and Boston. This morning we said goodbye in the Boston airport. I flew home, he flew to Florida. I feel empty, sad. Alone, so much more alone than I've been in a long time. I hate it. But I feel more for him than I've felt for anyone in years. It's wonderful, but so hard now. When did I become such a softy?
It's so weird to be in Asheville with nobody here; with everybody already in school. I leave for Scotland in 7 days. I'm excited, but nervous. I hope I make friends. I hope it's great. I have a single room in a dorm, which I have mixed feelings about...maybe I should've tried to get an apartment instead...I haven't slept by myself in a room for more than a few weeks in like 4 years. I'm worried I'll get lonely. I can't believe I've been living in a dorm for 4 years now--this is my 5th year. That's insane.
And stuff in Asheville is kind of fucked up right now. Basically, my dad found out on Monday that he has a benign, non-cancerous tumor in his head, behind his ear. It looks like it will all turn out fine, but of course I'm scared/worried. So, if you pray or anything of the sort, please think of him/our family. I think everything will be okay.
Needless to say, I won't be able to come to UNC this weekend unfortunately. This week is far too emotionally difficult.
That's all for now. I hope the next time I write will be happy/upbeat/full of good news!!
OK, i'll start from the beginning.
Camp was...an experience, I guess. Compared to Crane Lake, it definitely lacked in the fun department. I.e. there's virtually no color war at Ramah, too much forced religion and not enough spirituality. Not enough something. The whole summer I felt like I was missing something. Traditions, I guess. The camp is too young, especially compared to CLC which is like a million years old, to have real traditions for the kids, which is sad because that's part of what can make a camp so great. Maybe I'm just getting too old, bitter and jaded.
The best thing about camp was definitely meeting Shachar, my boyfriend. He came home with me after camp ended and we had an amazing time being together all the time for three weeks. Went to the beach in South carolina, went to New York and Boston. This morning we said goodbye in the Boston airport. I flew home, he flew to Florida. I feel empty, sad. Alone, so much more alone than I've been in a long time. I hate it. But I feel more for him than I've felt for anyone in years. It's wonderful, but so hard now. When did I become such a softy?
It's so weird to be in Asheville with nobody here; with everybody already in school. I leave for Scotland in 7 days. I'm excited, but nervous. I hope I make friends. I hope it's great. I have a single room in a dorm, which I have mixed feelings about...maybe I should've tried to get an apartment instead...I haven't slept by myself in a room for more than a few weeks in like 4 years. I'm worried I'll get lonely. I can't believe I've been living in a dorm for 4 years now--this is my 5th year. That's insane.
And stuff in Asheville is kind of fucked up right now. Basically, my dad found out on Monday that he has a benign, non-cancerous tumor in his head, behind his ear. It looks like it will all turn out fine, but of course I'm scared/worried. So, if you pray or anything of the sort, please think of him/our family. I think everything will be okay.
Needless to say, I won't be able to come to UNC this weekend unfortunately. This week is far too emotionally difficult.
That's all for now. I hope the next time I write will be happy/upbeat/full of good news!!