WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LIVE LIKE THIS. WE CAN'T BE DUMB ENOUGH TO DREAM SO BIG.

Jan 24, 2010 19:13

listening to You, Me and Everyone We Know.  that band deserves more credit than they get.  they are simply amazing.
"Livin' the Dream" is so bittersweet.  it's all about not knowing if he can continue his lifestyle or not.  it gets me every time. but some people just can't give it up.

Yesterday, I turned twenty-three
The date didn't mean that much to me
Then I started adding figures up in my head
It seems the cost of dreaming's left me in the red

Because of alcohol
I've shared sixteen beds
There's a five year reunion
Hanging over my head

At least eleven thousand people
Think I'm somethin' I'm not
And the courage to let them down
Isn't something I've still got

Sometimes I wanna cheat, but I don’t
I wanna quit, but I won't...cause I made this bed...
(Give me a shovel, you'll be amazed
At how fast I dig a grave, baby, just to lay in it)

You're only brave 'til you're scared...
You're only unique until compared...
To every other worthless fuck tryin' to
(Crawl into bed tonight...)

You can't afford to live like...this...
(Yes, we can! Yes, we can!)
You can't be dumb enough to dream so...big...
(Yes, we can! Yes, we can!)

Yeah, we'll sail through the sleazy seas
Past all the casting couches, rug-burned knees
No, I'm not done yet...
No-no, I'm only getting started...

You can't afford to live like this
You can't be dumb enough to dream so big

Yeah, we'll sail through the sleazy seas
Past all the casting couches, rug-burned knees
No, I'm not done yet...

You can't afford to live like...this...
(Yes, we can! Yes, we can!)
You can't be dumb enough to dream so...big...
(Yes, we can! Yes, we can!)

Yeah, we'll sail through the sleazy seas
Past all the casting couches, rug-burned knees
No, I'm not done yet...
No-no, I'm only getting started...


so when i took the SAT, i went to a local high school, but not my high school. i actually have some history at this school. i wanted to attend it instead of West when i was in fourth grade. i'm glad i didn't.
but this is the school at which i learned how to swim. Swimming is a huge part of my life, not right now, but historically. i always imagined teaching lessons there someday. i always relish going back there because i love the pool so much. the "Swimming ool"
So when i went to take the test, i was walking through the parking lot, up the stairs, etc. for a second, i turned around and behind me, where the pool building is, there was a pile of dirt. No sidewalks, not building, no nothing. i was shocked. it was like it never even existed. i was more than just shocked, i was horror struck. that was MY pool! i loved it! i was emotionally attached to it! every single grimy, icky, rusted or cold inch of it. even the bathrooms with the sink that always had a hose it in. and i miss it. :(

also, i got some interesting fortune cookies. both were about changing or finding a new profession. this led me to question if i had a profession. am i just a student? are these cookies predicting that i will be getting a job? or will i change writing or something? i don't know.

and today i heard my sister sing at a recital. i don't think singing is going to be a career in her future. however, there were some INCREDIBLY talented kids that performed. they were AMAZING.

so i'm off to go write, hopefully for the rest of the night. i'm five pages in and hopefully i can get to the next chapter because i hate intros. they are far too stressful. if i could write non-linear-ly i would, but i'm too worried i would fuck up the story. so i'll just power through the beginning and patiently daydream about the good scenes.

swimming, school, family, writing

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