i need somewhere to begin
Right now I'm laying in my bed and listening to fireworks outside my window, explosions piercing the night like the denouement of taiko drums. It's slightly unnerving; as soon as colored firecrackers flash through my blinds, the resulting vibrations ripple through my room and send the sensation of tiny balloons popping in my chest. At times like this I feel like one giant plastic bubble wrap, rows of hundreds of thoughts and feelings ready to burst on cue. But the bubbles never pop at the right times, so then I devolve into a bizarre tangle of embarrassingly awkward moments and misaligned emotions.
I feel as if I have spent half my life apologizing for this.