let's get lost tonight
i'm a little bit drunk, which is why i'm okay with being vulnerable and posting like this.
i haven't really been talking about my love life a lot, because it makes me sad, but i guess to let you guys understand where i'm coming from i need to go into a little of a backstory.
i realized recently that i need to let go of the guy i had a crush on for a long while. i found out that he was not the person i thought he was... i had glossed over things in my mind to make it seem like he hadn't hurt me, and i'd ignore things that he did (more like didn't do) to make myself believe that he cared about me. but things came to light and i'm in a place now where i just need to stay away from him and concentrate on things that are important--like my well being, haha.
well, what's bothering me now is, well, a long time ago i found out that he had a crush on me. and it took me a while to do something about it, and by that point he didn't like me anymore. and well, he was the first person who i ever found out that had a crush on me. i don't talk about it a lot, but i've never been in a serious relationship. i've never really been in a relationship at all. and i'm afraid... i'm so, SO afraid... that there's no one else.
and i think that's why i held on to him for so long. will anyone else fall for me? am i really that unlikeable to the opposite sex? what is it about me that people don't like? i feel like that sounds really conceited, but i think i'm alright to be around. but am i incapable of being loved? yeah, i've got ambition. yeah, i want to change the world, go to grad school, be a successful scientist. but i still want someone to share my life with...
i'm just so sick of unrequited love.
i haven't really been talking about my love life a lot, because it makes me sad, but i guess to let you guys understand where i'm coming from i need to go into a little of a backstory.
i realized recently that i need to let go of the guy i had a crush on for a long while. i found out that he was not the person i thought he was... i had glossed over things in my mind to make it seem like he hadn't hurt me, and i'd ignore things that he did (more like didn't do) to make myself believe that he cared about me. but things came to light and i'm in a place now where i just need to stay away from him and concentrate on things that are important--like my well being, haha.
well, what's bothering me now is, well, a long time ago i found out that he had a crush on me. and it took me a while to do something about it, and by that point he didn't like me anymore. and well, he was the first person who i ever found out that had a crush on me. i don't talk about it a lot, but i've never been in a serious relationship. i've never really been in a relationship at all. and i'm afraid... i'm so, SO afraid... that there's no one else.
and i think that's why i held on to him for so long. will anyone else fall for me? am i really that unlikeable to the opposite sex? what is it about me that people don't like? i feel like that sounds really conceited, but i think i'm alright to be around. but am i incapable of being loved? yeah, i've got ambition. yeah, i want to change the world, go to grad school, be a successful scientist. but i still want someone to share my life with...
i'm just so sick of unrequited love.