alone and i'm in between
i need to talk about something meaningful.
my life needs more meaning.
i'm not unhappy, i just want more.
i know that's normal--everybody wants more.
it's human nature to want.
looking outside, it's windy.
bitter cold.
the tops of the trees sway.
anddd blackout drunk people knock on the door.
"brandi, come party with us!"
standing there in my t-shirt and flannel pants i look directly into storm blue eyes focused on a point somewhere behind mine.
"please?"
"no, i don't really feel like it."
"why not?"
"i don't need to."
"yeah you do, come on!"
"you'll have fun without me. go on."
i need a night where i can feel like the only person awake in the world.
a night where i can walk outside, inhale and feel the water vapor crystallize in my lungs.
where i can gaze up at the constellations and not be interrupted by cars rushing by
the trickle of people back from frat parties
the flickers of street lamps.
a night when life and i stop circling each other and come together and time is moving sickeningly fast and unbearably slow all at the same time.
where when my thoughts and i turn around, steeped in cold, we don't have to check in with the night recep at the door.
a night that stretches into forever, but is condensed into one profound moment.
i need to find that part of me.
i need that sense of wonder back.
i miss my alone time.
my life needs more meaning.
i'm not unhappy, i just want more.
i know that's normal--everybody wants more.
it's human nature to want.
looking outside, it's windy.
bitter cold.
the tops of the trees sway.
anddd blackout drunk people knock on the door.
"brandi, come party with us!"
standing there in my t-shirt and flannel pants i look directly into storm blue eyes focused on a point somewhere behind mine.
"please?"
"no, i don't really feel like it."
"why not?"
"i don't need to."
"yeah you do, come on!"
"you'll have fun without me. go on."
i need a night where i can feel like the only person awake in the world.
a night where i can walk outside, inhale and feel the water vapor crystallize in my lungs.
where i can gaze up at the constellations and not be interrupted by cars rushing by
the trickle of people back from frat parties
the flickers of street lamps.
a night when life and i stop circling each other and come together and time is moving sickeningly fast and unbearably slow all at the same time.
where when my thoughts and i turn around, steeped in cold, we don't have to check in with the night recep at the door.
a night that stretches into forever, but is condensed into one profound moment.
i need to find that part of me.
i need that sense of wonder back.
i miss my alone time.