Hello hello again.
So it seems I've been nothing but a "raging bitchmonster" since I came back from Ca.
I've started many an argument on the drop of a dime, been really emotional, and have spent less than 24 hours in the presence of my mother. (something like 5 or 5 1/2) Usually citing the response "I'm not good company right now." And while it's true that's not much reason to be a bitch. I spoke with her the morning of Mother's Day and then promptly left. She went to stay out that night anyways so no love lost there. Tuesday morning instead of altering my routine just a smidge (which wouldn't have killed me) I instead cancel plans to go to my new doctor and continued on with my normal routine... to save anxiety and the thought of having to develope a new routine. Well i did the second but the first... (this is where the RAGING part of BITCHMONSTER comes in.) I made a mistake. or reather noone actually made a mistake... (which is what bothers me most, but for my sanity's sake: I made a mistake {cuz that's much easier to handle that this was just random chance}) And it freaked me out, so I had no choice (in my mind) but to go to the doctor anyways. Which was the responsible thing to do. but to know if and how much damage was actually done i have to exhibit my patience.. (Anyone who knows me knows that with myself i have about a millionth of the patience i have with anyone else.) so right now in my need to do something anthing but sit and wait i'm almost starting fights left and right (i say almost only because it takes two to fight and right now the person who I'm almost fighting with is demnstrating EXTREME patience with me. He even took me to the doctor and stayed with me.. Even though I nearly pushed him into traffic on the way there... )
I say tha i should be placed in a little box with books music and dvds (my room) until all this passes. But my presence is required atleast for now in many places. so i'm fucked...
Laters....
I've started many an argument on the drop of a dime, been really emotional, and have spent less than 24 hours in the presence of my mother. (something like 5 or 5 1/2) Usually citing the response "I'm not good company right now." And while it's true that's not much reason to be a bitch. I spoke with her the morning of Mother's Day and then promptly left. She went to stay out that night anyways so no love lost there. Tuesday morning instead of altering my routine just a smidge (which wouldn't have killed me) I instead cancel plans to go to my new doctor and continued on with my normal routine... to save anxiety and the thought of having to develope a new routine. Well i did the second but the first... (this is where the RAGING part of BITCHMONSTER comes in.) I made a mistake. or reather noone actually made a mistake... (which is what bothers me most, but for my sanity's sake: I made a mistake {cuz that's much easier to handle that this was just random chance}) And it freaked me out, so I had no choice (in my mind) but to go to the doctor anyways. Which was the responsible thing to do. but to know if and how much damage was actually done i have to exhibit my patience.. (Anyone who knows me knows that with myself i have about a millionth of the patience i have with anyone else.) so right now in my need to do something anthing but sit and wait i'm almost starting fights left and right (i say almost only because it takes two to fight and right now the person who I'm almost fighting with is demnstrating EXTREME patience with me. He even took me to the doctor and stayed with me.. Even though I nearly pushed him into traffic on the way there... )
I say tha i should be placed in a little box with books music and dvds (my room) until all this passes. But my presence is required atleast for now in many places. so i'm fucked...
Laters....