I am soo fucked up right now..
Damn i am so messed up.. and my mom's all over it like white on rice... (meaning she knows somethings going on.. but just doesn't know what IT is..)
I'm not exactly sure of what i'm supposed t be doing here... I opted to stay in bed all day instead of take my happy ass to my secind job like i should have done... cuz yes i was freaking exhauste when she asked me if i wanted to just stay home.. but not a minute later (after i had gotten up to use the bathroom, i was awake enough to where i could have said "No on second though i'm gonna go into the office okay?") but no. at my first test of resolve i gave into temptation to be lazy selfish ass...
I am soo fucking fucked up right now.. i feel like a human cesspool ( that might have something to do with that fact that i'm... post pms-ing... if you catch my drift)
But grrr.. all i want is Lofty... (my 3ft stuffed bunny who's probably taller when you stan him up and hol him by his ears)
I really want some sort of comfort an while the sorces are all around me some how i'm not getting it... which is just bullshit cuz damnit i don't think i should have to be all fucked up while so many of my normal conforts are going ignored.. (i'm not ignoring them its just they're not working.. of fuck to hell with it.. like i even fucking know)
I feel like utter crap.. my body is in such grotesque hate with me right now that it's punishing me.. its snowing like all hell outside and i just want to curl into a ball and cry instead of go back to my desk in fifteen minutes like i'm supposed to...
such bullshit..
But this is the life i lead.. and well anyways atleast I can listen to music toay at my other jo. an take internet quizzes to my heart's content.. if i feel like it i'll post a few of the results...
Grrrr..
By the way my hair looks fucking awesome.. Big kudos to my hairstylist.. she's so fucking awesome.. and i got to have it dyed in a couple weeks... more fun.... I'm going way more red... Gonna be awesome.. so atleast that's something to look forward to...
I fricking thought that working two jobs woul make everything better... It's not working..
I figured if i in't have time but to eat an sleep it'd be all right.. i was wrong.. i have always been a multi taske.. and for whatever reason i will always have time to think and always have time to feel.. (cuz thats what i do all day even when working a mind numbing task....
I need more music. an possible some new clothes.. ( maybe just some vintage stuff..) And i really am going to try to have my Apothicary's chest before Valentines day... that way i can finally get my room organized... also i need to get pushpins so i can finally put up this years Amy Brown calendar (i've had it since like november)
I think i'll just shop or something... i am soo fucking depressed.. grrr. a few more hours then i can just fucking crash... it will be alright.. i wish Shim would hurry up and stop sulking so she could take over.. i miss having time to myself..
which is odd cuz all i have is time to myself now.. fuck i don't know this is all fucking bullshit... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
whatever.
I'm not exactly sure of what i'm supposed t be doing here... I opted to stay in bed all day instead of take my happy ass to my secind job like i should have done... cuz yes i was freaking exhauste when she asked me if i wanted to just stay home.. but not a minute later (after i had gotten up to use the bathroom, i was awake enough to where i could have said "No on second though i'm gonna go into the office okay?") but no. at my first test of resolve i gave into temptation to be lazy selfish ass...
I am soo fucking fucked up right now.. i feel like a human cesspool ( that might have something to do with that fact that i'm... post pms-ing... if you catch my drift)
But grrr.. all i want is Lofty... (my 3ft stuffed bunny who's probably taller when you stan him up and hol him by his ears)
I really want some sort of comfort an while the sorces are all around me some how i'm not getting it... which is just bullshit cuz damnit i don't think i should have to be all fucked up while so many of my normal conforts are going ignored.. (i'm not ignoring them its just they're not working.. of fuck to hell with it.. like i even fucking know)
I feel like utter crap.. my body is in such grotesque hate with me right now that it's punishing me.. its snowing like all hell outside and i just want to curl into a ball and cry instead of go back to my desk in fifteen minutes like i'm supposed to...
such bullshit..
But this is the life i lead.. and well anyways atleast I can listen to music toay at my other jo. an take internet quizzes to my heart's content.. if i feel like it i'll post a few of the results...
Grrrr..
By the way my hair looks fucking awesome.. Big kudos to my hairstylist.. she's so fucking awesome.. and i got to have it dyed in a couple weeks... more fun.... I'm going way more red... Gonna be awesome.. so atleast that's something to look forward to...
I fricking thought that working two jobs woul make everything better... It's not working..
I figured if i in't have time but to eat an sleep it'd be all right.. i was wrong.. i have always been a multi taske.. and for whatever reason i will always have time to think and always have time to feel.. (cuz thats what i do all day even when working a mind numbing task....
I need more music. an possible some new clothes.. ( maybe just some vintage stuff..) And i really am going to try to have my Apothicary's chest before Valentines day... that way i can finally get my room organized... also i need to get pushpins so i can finally put up this years Amy Brown calendar (i've had it since like november)
I think i'll just shop or something... i am soo fucking depressed.. grrr. a few more hours then i can just fucking crash... it will be alright.. i wish Shim would hurry up and stop sulking so she could take over.. i miss having time to myself..
which is odd cuz all i have is time to myself now.. fuck i don't know this is all fucking bullshit... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
whatever.