0581 [relationships]
No, your eyes don't deceive you.
I promised, didn't I?
Well, this time I mean it.
(Sorry about all of the BEWBS. I got the dress because I knew Mike likes my, ahem, chest. (AND ALSO BECAUSE THE DRESS IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!) But I gained a bit of weight before the actual wedding date, and the seamstress lied to me and told me that the dress could be altered to fit me, and after lots of angst and sewing and seam-ripping I just looked nearly excessively voluptuous. You will see a shit ton of cleavage in the coming days.)
There's the first part, and here's the second:
Day 01 - Discuss your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
In a word, my marriage is: hard.
In two words, my marriage is: fucking difficult.
In many words, my marriage is nothing like what I thought it would be. This is a cliche, and a horrible one, but I am speaking honestly when I tell you that I was as unprepared for the realities of sharing my life with Mike Hotchkiss as the safety patrol of the Titanic were for that iceberg. I am realizing that I am an incredibly selfish person, and that while I am capable of selflessness this selflessness tends to be coupled with a taciturn requirement for reciprocation on my husband's part. That is, when he's not selfless towards me in the ways that I desire, I get pissed at him.
We have had probably 20 or 30 really significant arguments lasting longer than an hour. We've been married for 6 months, exactly, today. (I just realized this. Should I shout "Happy Six Months baby!" to my husband, who's on the front porch playing guitar and sipping a Bud in the dark?) I have had to leave the house four times in the midst of those arguments. Two times I came right back. One time I drove to Cleveland. One time, the earliest fight, or one of the earliest fights, I ended up making a quick trip to Michigan to visit the Reverend and Jody with my family. They gave me guidance. I returned from the weekend with a renewed sense of humility and the realization that not everything in my life was Mike's fault.
And that Michigan trip was within one month of our wedding day.
Phew.
While marriage has undoubtedly been the most confusing and frustrating and difficult thing I've ever had to do, it is also the most rewarding and beautiful and magical thing I've ever been a part of. I love being Mike's wife. He is a rock of stability even when we're raising our voices in argument. I know that he will never leave me, or end our marriage, and I have resolved to do the same. (Okay, I may leave for a day, but I never leave him. Even when I drove away, on the road to Ohio he was always with me, sticking in my heart and consuming my thoughts.)
I am so very happy. Marriage is not easy, and I would not ever dream of getting married again, but my marriage to Mike is the best thing about my life. I praise God for it. Sincerely. :)
I promised, didn't I?
Well, this time I mean it.
(Sorry about all of the BEWBS. I got the dress because I knew Mike likes my, ahem, chest. (AND ALSO BECAUSE THE DRESS IS FREAKING GORGEOUS!) But I gained a bit of weight before the actual wedding date, and the seamstress lied to me and told me that the dress could be altered to fit me, and after lots of angst and sewing and seam-ripping I just looked nearly excessively voluptuous. You will see a shit ton of cleavage in the coming days.)
There's the first part, and here's the second:
Day 01 - Discuss your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.
In a word, my marriage is: hard.
In two words, my marriage is: fucking difficult.
In many words, my marriage is nothing like what I thought it would be. This is a cliche, and a horrible one, but I am speaking honestly when I tell you that I was as unprepared for the realities of sharing my life with Mike Hotchkiss as the safety patrol of the Titanic were for that iceberg. I am realizing that I am an incredibly selfish person, and that while I am capable of selflessness this selflessness tends to be coupled with a taciturn requirement for reciprocation on my husband's part. That is, when he's not selfless towards me in the ways that I desire, I get pissed at him.
We have had probably 20 or 30 really significant arguments lasting longer than an hour. We've been married for 6 months, exactly, today. (I just realized this. Should I shout "Happy Six Months baby!" to my husband, who's on the front porch playing guitar and sipping a Bud in the dark?) I have had to leave the house four times in the midst of those arguments. Two times I came right back. One time I drove to Cleveland. One time, the earliest fight, or one of the earliest fights, I ended up making a quick trip to Michigan to visit the Reverend and Jody with my family. They gave me guidance. I returned from the weekend with a renewed sense of humility and the realization that not everything in my life was Mike's fault.
And that Michigan trip was within one month of our wedding day.
Phew.
While marriage has undoubtedly been the most confusing and frustrating and difficult thing I've ever had to do, it is also the most rewarding and beautiful and magical thing I've ever been a part of. I love being Mike's wife. He is a rock of stability even when we're raising our voices in argument. I know that he will never leave me, or end our marriage, and I have resolved to do the same. (Okay, I may leave for a day, but I never leave him. Even when I drove away, on the road to Ohio he was always with me, sticking in my heart and consuming my thoughts.)
I am so very happy. Marriage is not easy, and I would not ever dream of getting married again, but my marriage to Mike is the best thing about my life. I praise God for it. Sincerely. :)