I feel strange posting here...
I haven't posted anything on this journal since 2005. Dear God! I just spent about an hour reading past entries and I think my once-great journal was actually pretty entertaining in its hey-day. I'm especially proud of how I chronicled my first Italy trip and I'm surprised how regularly I updated. I also think it's funny that, in one of my first descriptions of Jeti, I ended by saying "...and strange." HA! Well, yeah, is HE strange, in his way ;) He's the only person I know who puts warm milk on Coco Puffs.
I'm not completely sure why I decided to take up the journaling again. I feel like... things are passing me by... these are what should be the best years of my life and I never take any pictures, I never write any of it down, never even attempt to make things memorable. Maybe if I DID journal, I'm thinking, it would make the experience of living richer and more substantial.
Tomorrow I have to go to work and -- as usual on Sunday night -- I'm dreading it. I'm dreading the tasks and the passive-aggressive behaviors of one particular co-worker. I had wanted to write my career-goals essay for Lehman graduate admissions tonight, but I got caught up in -- of all things -- the Leave it to Beaver marathon on TV Land, so my plans were shot to shit. I also wanted to clean the turtle tank and do the laundry, which I still could theoretically do and I may do, only because J. and I are running out of underwear and the turtle tank is really quite filthy.
I'm getting into one of those moods that makes me want to re-assess and take-stock of my life. I came to a revelation a few weeks ago that my next step would be to become a (high school) teacher. The idea of working in education is really the only career-related thought that excites me. The idea of continuing on as I am is depressing. This may sound incredibly egotistic, but I hate being someone's assistant. I'm certainly clever enough to have some authority in my own life. I'm certainly smart enough to make decisions. And also, I want to use my degree. And also, I want to have freetime. The idea of having 2 months off and a really good salary to start is VERY exciting. J. and I have our plans made: the first year after I start teaching, we're making a beeline to Italy, Albania and, possibly, Turkey in the Summer. We deserve it and our current inability to travel is more depressing than anything else. In my perfect vision of that summer, we'd spend a month in Italy, 2 weeks in Albania and a week in Turkey with his family.
In the meantime, I want to take some steps to make life as it is more exciting and more fulfilling. This includes:
1. Journaling regularly
2. Taking pictures, even of ordinary things
3. Going out more regularly
4. Seeing friends more regularly.
So that's it... tomorrow night I'm breaking out the camera and taking some pictures and posting them up and then deciding whether this journal should remain public or whether I should make it private.
- Karen