(one-shot) too long since i've been a fool 1/2
title: too long since i've been a fool
pairing: Chanyeol/Kyungsoo, minor Kyungsoo/Yixing and Kyungsoo/Junmyeon
genre: au, fluff, angst, romance
rating: pg
warnings: chanyeol's "homophobic tendencies"
word count: 18295 words
summary: Chanyeol feels something weird and funny in his stomach whenever he sees Kyungsoo with another guy. Chanyeol convinces himself that it’s nothing and dismisses the fact that he may be catching feelings for his flatmate.
notes: written for the exohousewarming fic fest!! kudos to the prompter for leaving such an amazing prompt <3 also, as always, thank you zvarrii for being a wonderful beta ily so much c: this is also the longest thing i've written so far and i'm just crying bye
Chanyeol didn’t want to admit it, but he’s kind of having a bad day.
He accidentally dumped in two teaspoons of salt, instead of sugar, in his coffee this morning and their internet connection was extra slow just when he had to email the final track list for this week. (He should really read the script earlier from now on, so that he wouldn’t panic when their internet decides to fuck up again.)
And just when things couldn’t get any worse, he just had to be dumb and accidentally overwrite A Very Important save file on the current video game he’s playing. Chanyeol just wants to cry. But he won’t, because he is a grown ass man who doesn’t shed weak unmanly tears. But this semi-shitty day will be alright soon enough, because Kyungsoo - his flatmate slash best buddy in the entire universe - is coming back in about an hour and they’re going to make the best kimbap rolls the moment he gets home. (Which probably means that Kyungsoo will make most of the kimbap and Chanyeol will just eat it all afterwards.)
Chanyeol’s phone vibrates on the small coffee table by the couch just when he is about to throw the console controller and give up entirely on the game.
from: kyungsoo
Will be home a bit late. Go ahead and have dinner, don’t wait for me.
Something washes over him so quick, like a sudden whiplash of mixed emotions. He can’t put his complicated feelings into words or even translate it into his own thoughts, but the slight pang is somewhere in his chest. Chanyeol stares at the text message for about ten seconds before surrendering into defeat and wailing out the ugliest crying noises. Maybe he is kind of having a bad day.
Chanyeol only puts an effort into cooking when he’s cooking for him and Kyungsoo, because the pressure is so so so real when Kyungsoo eyes him from their living room while he’s chopping up something. It’s as if he’s on Masterchef Korea every time he catches Kyungsoo’s eyes squinting at his knifework from afar, already judging his dish even if he hasn’t served it yet. And since Kyungsoo is the better cook between the two of them, Chanyeol also feels an uncontrollable smile forming on his lips every time he earns Kyungsoo’s praises for the meals he prepared. But when Chanyeol has to eat all alone, then a cup of instant ramen and a small plate of cold kimchi would be fine.
The door to their flat opens just when Chanyeol’s peeling off the lid of the ramen cup.
“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol calls out a bit too enthusiastically, like an overly happy puppy wagging its tail at its owner.
Kyungsoo looks at him with his wide eyes, his hair disheveled from the cold winds outside. “Hey Chanyeol,” he greets in return as he takes off his shoes. “I brought a friend. This is Yixing.” He announces, a tinge of hesitation in his voice.
“Oh.” Chanyeol replies and cranes his head to take a look at their visitor. Chanyeol channels his inner cool guy persona and greets him with a very cool “Sup?”
“Hi.” Yixing smiles at him with the cutest dimples that could probably get rid of all the evil on earth. He then trudges forward along Kyungsoo’s side and slings an arm around the smaller guy. “What do you mean friend?” Yixing questions Kyungsoo in lightly accented Korean, playfully blowing on Kyungsoo’s ear, before they flop down on the couch.
Chanyeol’s breath hitches as he waits for Kyungsoo to punch Yixing in the stomach - because you can never just blow on Kyungsoo’s ear like that and get away with it. But Kyungsoo’s attack never comes. Instead, he sees Kyungsoo leaning a bit too comfortably on Yixing’s side.
Chanyeol loses his appetite a bit.
“Yixing will just stay here until the rush hour dies down.” Kyungsoo announces from the couch. He eyes Chanyeol’s dinner before flitting his gaze back to his face.
“Sure, sure.” Chanyeol says coolly before slurping down some of the soup, even if he’s suddenly not so hungry anymore. He almost embarrasses himself, almost yelps because the soup is too hot and he’s got tears in his eyes. And then all at once, after Chanyeol saves his burnt tongue with gulps of cold water, Yixing slings an arm around Kyungsoo’s small shoulders, suddenly leaning close and whispering something to Kyungsoo. Chanyeol almost feels like he’s intruding on something so intimate and the funny, the weird feeling in his stomach is just getting more intense.
Maybe he should just eat in the quickest way possible, preferably without choking on his noodles. It’s kind of hard for him to swallow the warm instant noodles, not when the smile on Kyungsoo’s mouth kind of ties his stomach into a mess of knots and oh. Yixing gives Kyungsoo a quick peck on the cheek. Chanyeol would’ve probably missed it if he weren’t staring so blatantly. Kyungsoo lightly punches the side of Yixing’s arm, eyes squinting and lips curving into a smile.
Oh, they’re dating. Kyungsoo and Yixing are dating and Chanyeol kind of feels dumb to have only noticed it now. He also feels weird because within the depths of his feelings, there’s a tinge of… disgust? He’s not quite sure, but he feels something every time his flatmate’s eyes sparkle at Yixing, and seriously, Chanyeol shouldn’t be feeling this way. Just because he’s extremely straight doesn’t mean he has the right to feel grossed out by his flatmate who isn’t.
So he gulps down the rest of his meal, eating as much as he could, and it’s the first time that he couldn’t finish a small cup of instant ramen. It’s also the first time Chanyeol feels a concoction of disgust and anxiety at the pit of his stomach just by looking at Kyungsoo, who’s looking at another guy. Chanyeol’s own feelings scare the shit out of him.
Yixing goes home after an hour of cuddling with Kyungsoo on the couch, making sure to give another dimpled smile to Chanyeol before leaving. With pink gloves on his hands and soap suds splattered on his forearm, Chanyeol beams at him and wishes the nice guy a safe trip home. His hands are currently washing the dishes which piled up the whole day, but his mind is somewhere else. For all he knows he’s supposed to be making kimbap rolls with Kyungsoo, not having homophobic tendencies on a Friday night and mentally cursing himself for doing so.
There’s the sound of the door closing, and it takes Kyungsoo about two heartbeats before he asks, “Are you okay?”
Chanyeol suddenly feels a lump in his throat and he forcefully croaks out a, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He’s lying. It’s ridiculous how Kyungsoo can read him too well sometimes. Chanyeol just wants to hide at this very moment because he’s so guilty for being disgusted when all his best friend did was casually bring a guy to their shared apartment. It’s not even the first time Kyungsoo has brought home a guy and it’s not like Chanyeol still needs some time to accept Kyungsoo’s sexual orientation, because he already did, years ago. Right after Kyungsoo came out to them during college, Chanyeol just accepted him with open arms and a bone crushing hug to match. Chanyeol is just so bothered and kind of angry at himself, so he quickly washes the remaining dishes so that he could just go to his bed and curl up and just silently wail in his misery.
Suddenly, Kyungsoo slides up next to him, in front of their tiny kitchen counter, and begins to lay down some vegetables on a chopping board. “You don’t look okay.” He says, leaning closer to Chanyeol, invading his personal space, just to wash a cucumber and a carrot.
Chanyeol ignores the loud beating in his chest and just hums in reply, in the most nonchalant way possible. “I told you, I’m okay.” He gives the smaller boy a tight smile, and Kyungsoo just blankly stares at him return. And it makes Chanyeol squirm because Kyungsoo is probably trying to read him at the very moment. The worst part is that when it comes to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol is an open book and he’s so damn defenseless every single time.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything though, and just continues working in silence. He proceeds to slice the vegetables, his analyzing eyes drifting away from Chanyeol and focusing on the chopping board instead.
“Take off your gloves and help me make kimbap.” Kyungsoo’s voice disrupts the quiet after a few minutes, and it’s as if everything suddenly shifts back to normal.
A grin finds its way to Chanyeol’s mouth, and a chuckle escapes from his lips. “I don’t want to.” He jokes, but he takes off his gloves anyway.
Kyungsoo stops slicing the vegetables and glares at him.
“Just kidding. I’ll cook rice.” Chanyeol quickly mutters. He suddenly feels warmer even as his stomach stays feeling kind of weird, but it’s a different kind of weird from before. The kimbap will surely make up for the slightly bad day he had to go through.
- - -
On weekends, Kyungsoo likes to buy groceries at ten in the morning. It’s definitely two hours too early for Chanyeol, because arriving at the grocery store at 10AM means that Kyungsoo will forcefully wake Chanyeol up at around 9AM. It also means that Chanyeol has no choice but to wake up and get ready because Kyungsoo usually pulls him out of his bed, literally. He’s still having war flashbacks to that one time he almost hit his head on the floor, when Kyungsoo basically transformed into Hulk and used too much force on him.
They go through different aisles together, Chanyeol pushing the cart and Kyungsoo reading his grocery list from a small post it. They stop at the vegetables section and Kyungsoo takes his sweet time to pick the best carrot. He scrutinizes every single one of them, eyes squinting through his glasses. An old lady is right next to Kyungsoo, also investigating the vegetables one by one, and the similarity is so evident. Chanyeol purses his lips tightly to keep a chuckle in.
Sometimes the Sound Editor within Chanyeol’s soul won’t leave even in the most mundane moments of life - like for example, when he’s at the grocery with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is walking towards him with heaps of vegetables in his arms, looking straight at him, and Chanyeol hears this serene melody mainly played by a piano or maybe an acoustic guitar.
“What are you looking at?” Kyungsoo furrows his brows at him, and the music in Chanyeol’s head still won’t stop playing.
Chanyeol grins. “Nothing.”
Kyungsoo playfully punches him in the gut, and Chanyeol’s not sure if Kyungsoo’s punches are getting weaker or if he’s just immune to them by now. “Stop being weird in public.” Kyungsoo warns him, his lips slowly curving into smile, and Chanyeol hears the instrumental a bit louder than before.
Kyungsoo tugs at Chanyeol’s sleeve, pulling him to the side and signaling him to make way for the elderly couple who’s about to pass by them. Maybe Kyungsoo would be grumpier when they grow old, maybe he’d be slower and more meticulous in picking out his vegetables. Chanyeol bets that Kyungsoo would still drink three cups of coffee a day even if he’s way too old to do so.
“Remind me that we have to stop by the bakery later,” Kyungsoo interrupts his train of thought as he walks forward slowly, letting Chanyeol catch up to him with their cart. “I want croissants.” He mutters, mostly to himself, while seriously typing on his phone.
The music that’s been embedded into Chanyeol’s mind suddenly fades into an abrupt halt as he catches a glimpse of Yixing’s name on Kyungsoo’s phone and the small smile on Kyungsoo’s lips.
The grocery is a ten-minute walk from their flat but it rains on their way home. Neither of them brought an umbrella, and now they’re under the porch roof of a bakery with their hands full of paper bags. Chanyeol regrets pointing out the coffee sale in the grocery, otherwise Kyungsoo wouldn’t have bought around eight bottles of latte and Chanyeol wouldn’t be carrying all of them right now.
“Yixing’s agency wants him to work in China.” Kyungsoo breaks the silence. It immediately cuts off Chanyeol’s thoughts about bottled instant coffee. Kyungsoo isn’t even looking at him; he’s looking at the rain pelting on the ground with downcast eyes.
“Oh,” Chanyeol replies, adjusting the paper bags in his arms to balance their weight. “So what’s gonna happen?” He asks. What’s gonna happen between you two? He wants to ask further, but the sudden sound of the heavy rain drowns his words.
Kyungsoo shrugs and looks at him. “I don’t know.” He holds Chanyeol’s gaze for a few seconds before looking back at the puddles on the sidewalk. “You know I’m not a long-distance relationship kind of person. It’s too much effort.” Kyungsoo answers as if he heard Chanyeol’s unspoken question, and bites on his lower lip for a few seconds.
The rain is slowly letting down and Chanyeol nods quietly. Of course, Chanyeol knows. Kyungsoo is practically engaged to his job as an Account Manager, and he has a hectic schedule all the time with all of the clients he has to deal with. Even during college, Kyungsoo really likes going forward with minimal hindrances as much as possible. Kyungsoo likes to get things done, he likes to be on schedule, and he likes to be meticulous in almost everything. Chanyeol believes that Kyungsoo deserves someone who’ll keep up with his pace. “Yixing’s nice though.” Chanyeol comments out of nowhere. Something flips in his stomach as he says those words, and he gulps down the feeling.
“He is.” Kyungsoo mutters and quickly clears his throat. “Let’s go before it pours again.” He trudges forward so fast, but then after a few steps, he slows it down so Chanyeol can catch up.
- - -
Chanyeol comes home late one night. The final post-processing of the drama episode took more than a day and he just wants a good night’s sleep. He’s tired from the actual editing and tired from the commute, since he’d rather sleep on a bus than drive with dropping eyelids. He opens the door to their flat, and he’s suddenly enveloped in darkness. It’s not unusual, since the light of the digital clock in their living room tells him that it’s already 11PM and Kyungsoo usually sleeps before midnight since he has work in the morning.
What’s unusual is that when Chanyeol enters his room, he finds a lump on his bed, covered in his blanket. Some of his pillows are discarded on the floor, right next to Kyungsoo’s white slippers. Chanyeol gently places his backpack on his desk, careful not to wake the sleeping boy. Kyungsoo’s fingers are loosely cradling his phone, and it lights up with a new message. Chanyeol very gently removes the phone from Kyungsoo’s grasp to place it down the bedside table, and he sees Yixing’s name on the screen.
“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol croaks out, his voice rough from the fatigue. He hesitates, biting his lower lip and running a towel onto his wet hair absentmindedly. “Kyungsoo,” he tries again, and steps closer to his bed. “Are you gonna sleep here?” He asks, and the body under the blanket shifts.
“What,” Kyungsoo lowers the blanket to reveal a mop of messy black hair and squinting eyes. “What time is it?” He manages to ask, deep voice laced with drowsiness.
“Uh,” Chanyeol mutters before checking the analog clock on his wall and not seeing the time properly because of the darkness. He scrambles over to his desk to check the time on his phone. “It’s 12:03AM.”
Kyungsoo pulls the blanket over his head once again and Chanyeol hears a muffled sharp exhale. “Get in here.” He commands, making space for Chanyeol.
Chanyeol hangs the towel on a chair by his desk, and snorts at the way Kyungsoo’s taking command as if Chanyeol’s the one who’s in the wrong room. “This is my bed you know.” Chanyeol points out as he slides next to Kyungsoo, wriggling in place to find a comfortable position.
Kyungsoo just hums, facing the window instead of facing Chanyeol. “We’re gonna stop seeing each other.” Kyungsoo says in a quiet voice. “He’s leaving for China in a week.”
Chanyeol stills for a moment, and he’s suddenly hyperaware of the way Kyungsoo shifts so subtly under the covers. “Are you okay?”
“Just tired.” Kyungsoo lets out another exhale, his shoulders sagging. “I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol replies, surprised at the amount of sincerity in his own voice. “He seemed like a nice guy.” He adds, before reaching out to pat Kyungsoo’s arm. (He guesses that it is Kyungsoo’s arm, under the blanket.)
Chanyeol has a catalogue of music for Kyungsoo in his head - for when Kyungsoo’s mad at him, when Kyungsoo’s looking at him weirdly, when Kyungsoo’s so tired from work, and a whole lot more which would take hours to enumerate. But for times like these, he prefers silence. Because the moments when Kyungsoo actually seems vulnerable are so rare that Chanyeol doesn’t want any kind of disruption. He hears the ticking of the clock on his wall, the quiet hum of the air conditioning unit, and Kyungsoo’s even breathing.
Kyungsoo looks so small, all of a sudden. Time stills and it’s as if Chanyeol’s seeing the Kyungsoo in high school who unrequitedly pined after someone, or maybe the Kyungsoo in college who experienced his first ever serious breakup. He’s taken back to all the times Kyungsoo has crawled into his bed and just slept beside him - because he fought with his parents, because that one client is an asshole, because he got dumped by someone for the first time, and all the other heartaches. Chanyeol has practically gone through it all with Kyungsoo, and he keeps on hoping, every single time, that his mere presence is enough to make Kyungsoo feel a bit better. He stays up until three in the morning aching for Kyungsoo’s own happiness and ignoring the weird feeling in his gut.
- - -
Kyungsoo stops dating Yixing, and a month passes by normally. Except Chanyeol would always go back to that night he felt his throat swell up with fear as disgust swirled inside his stomach, the night Yixing visited. It would just suddenly snatch away Chanyeol’s focus whenever he’s going through a script or editing an audio file, and Chanyeol would find himself staring at nothing in particular for about five minutes. It’s insane, and Chanyeol’s going crazy over this Very Mysterious Homophobic Tendency Case of his.
So Chanyeol calls up Jongdae, his other best buddy in the entire universe who works in the same agency as Kyungsoo. He is determined to solve this case once and for all.
Jongdae picks up the call and Chanyeol gets straight to the point “Have you ever thought of marrying Baekhyun?”
“Chanyeol, I need to be in a meeting with Kyungsoo in five minutes.” Jongdae’s whiny voice comes through the static louder than usual. “Also, no. We’re like, best friends.”
“Sure.” Chanyeol replies, and the images of Jongdae and Baekhyun totally acting like a married bickering couple come into his mind. He waits for it, but he doesn’t get a weird feeling in his stomach, even if he pictures Jongdae with his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulders, which is a completely normal occurrence since forever. “I just want to say that I’m totally okay if you guys ever get married and I support you guys.” Chanyeol rambles on. “And I am not a homophobe.” He says it more to himself because really, he isn’t. Conclusion: Maybe it was just a one-time thing, maybe he was just extra sensitive when Yixing came over that night.
There is a pause and Chanyeol takes the phone off of his ears to check if the call is still connected. It still is. “Jongdae?” He checks if his friend is still there. Maybe Jongdae’s having a sudden epiphany that he does like Baekhyun. Well then, he’d have to thank Chanyeol for that later.
“Okay Chanyeol, what is your problem? Did something happen?” Jongdae breathes his question out tiredly. “Also, can we talk about this next time because I can see Kyungsoo heading to the meeting room as of this moment.” He quickly replies before Chanyeol could even say anything. “Nice talk, though. Bye.” Jongdae speaks so quickly before hanging up.
Chanyeol is left all alone with the beeping of his phone from a hung up call, yet he sort of feels less conflicted now. He assures himself that maybe it was just a one-time thing and he will never ever get grossed out by homosexuality ever again. Chanyeol just needs to assure himself from now on.
Kyungsoo comes home just in time to catch Chanyeol weeping quietly on the couch, the credits of Brokeback Mountain playing on the TV and a stack of unread scripts lying in a mess on their coffee table.
“I can explain.” Chanyeol shouts with a nasal voice. He was just trying to confirm that he wasn’t a homophobe after all, and he suddenly got this very strong urge to watch the movie after the conversation with Jongdae. Well, the movie did help Chanyeol realize that he isn’t grossed out by homosexuality, yet it also turned him into an emotional wreck.
“I’m not even asking.” Kyungsoo replies coldly as he walks straight to his room, but Chanyeol can see his lips curving and his shoulders shaking as he chuckles on his way.
- - -
“Remember Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo suddenly asks one night while they’re eating microwaved pasta.
Chanyeol coughs, almost chokes, but tries his best not to because Kyungsoo is giving him a wide-eyed concerned look from across the table. Kyungsoo should stop throwing curveballs at him, especially during dinner time. “Yeah, why?” He manages to ask before gulping down water.
Kyungsoo looks at him with a calculative gaze that’s kind of out of place for a casual, dinner conversation. “We ran into each other yesterday,” He continues, rolling the pasta with his fork. “He works for the financial firm a few blocks away from our agency.”
Chanyeol chews and nods at the same time. The last time he saw Junmyeon was during college, when Junmyeon was known for being the vice president of the university’s student council. And weirdly, they met him through the Media Arts Organization, because Junmyeon apparently had this undying passion for acting, even though he was a Business major. Jongdae had this tiny, happy crush on him, but it was sad that they only saw him during their organization’s events and that Junmyeon was super straight.
Kyungsoo clears this throat and says “We had lunch together a while ago, and he’s taking me to dinner tomorrow.” Okay, so maybe Junmyeon isn’t super straight after all.
“Oh.” Chanyeol says dumbly. His hand stops spinning the fork he’s holding. “Well, uh, that’s nice.” He manages to get the words out of him.
Kyungsoo nods slowly, his eyes not leaving Chanyeol’s own. “So,” he slowly says. “Don’t wait up for me. Cook yourself a nice meal.”
Chanyeol snorts and replies “I’m not a kid, I can totally handle myself”, but there’s a heavy feeling settling in this chest, and Chanyeol just drinks more water to ease himself out of it.
- - -
The weeks pass by with Chanyeol arriving to a dark apartment, and with Kyungsoo peacefully sleeping in his own room. Chanyeol’s schedule becomes hectic, he heavily depends on coffee and energy drinks inside the editing studio to survive the post-processing of the last few episodes of the drama. He’d usually come home about once a week and sleep for a whole day, then pack up some fresh clothes before returning to the post-processing studio. With the shooting of the drama finally ending, its footage and materials for the last few episodes are handed over to the studio. Everyone becomes extra meticulous, and just a bit more passionate about its quality. Chanyeol gets sick of the drama’s soundtrack after hearing the tracks repeat over and over again for three days straight. He cringes every time an official soundtrack plays on the bus on his way to work.
While Chanyeol’s locked inside the editing studio and is on the verge of dying over the perfection of the drama’s finale, Kyungsoo’s probably having lunch or dinner with Junmyeon around Gangnam. Chanyeol goes grocery shopping at 10PM, and hoards all the bottled lattes on sale even if they all seem to taste extra bitter in his mouth recently.
- - -
Chanyeol comes home at 3AM, legs feeling weak and wobbly from the lack of sleep. He tries to stifle a cough as he closes the door, careful not to wake Kyungsoo up who’s most probably sleeping at this hour. On the last day of editing, Chanyeol finds himself coughing more roughly, his throat hurting a bit too much. On top of it all, he has a runny nose and a very persistent headache that doesn’t leave him for even a minute. Some teenagers from his bus ride home were looking at him funny, since he practically coughed non-stop during the 40-minute ride. Chanyeol thought he’d never make it out alive, but he still pushes through to arrive at the flat in one piece. Now that he’s fulfilled his mission of surviving a bus ride and getting home alive, this is how he’s going to die. He’s going to pass out in his own flat with the drama’s soundtrack on loop in his mind and he’ll never wake up ever again. He’ll be stuck with the happy beats and the instrumentals forever. Although in reality, he probably won’t die and would just probably sob from the fatigue.
Throwing his backpack on the couch, and not bothering to turn on the lights, he walks to the kitchen with dragging feet. His mind is in a haze as he takes the pouch of medicine from the cupboard. The amount of different pills and tablets hurt his brain even more but he luckily finds the one for headaches after a few minutes of squinting at the tiny labels on their packaging. Just when he’s about to get his water bottle from the fridge, he sees an obnoxious neon green post it with his name on it on the cover of a tiny porcelain pot.
There is a message written in Kyungsoo’s tiny handwriting below the very obnoxious FOR CHANYEOL heading. Chanyeol’s just staring down at the note after placing the said pot on their tiny dining table. He suddenly feels a bit better, despite not sleeping for more than three days. There’s this sudden urge to barge into Kyungsoo’s room and hug him tight. Chanyeol decides to just re-heat the pot of porridge instead of attacking a sleeping Kyungsoo at 3 in the morning. After gulping down the pills for the headache, Chanyeol reads the message while warming up his meal.
FOR CHANYEOL
Sorry I ate half of this. You haven’t been coming home lately and I’m assuming you’re sick from all the work you do. Yes, I can hear you coughing during ungodly hours of the night. Yes, I forgive you for waking me up with your loud coughs. You’re welcome for the porridge.
Chanyeol almost weeps. Kyungsoo is the best flatmate in the entire universe.
Chanyeol definitely told himself that he needs to sleep, but here he is on his phone, lurking on different social media sites at 4AM. With a happy and full tummy, thanks to Kyungsoo’s porridge, he’s currently waiting for his food coma to wear off as he stays glued to his seat. He scrolls past a cat video that Jongdae shared and stops when he sees Kyungsoo’s comments.
Do Kyungsoo Jongdae, that’s you.
Do Kyungsoo Also, get off Facebook and get back to your name studies. Please.
Chanyeol snorts out loud. Then he suddenly finds himself on Kyungsoo’s profile, scrolling through the recent posts. It’s been almost a month since Chanyeol’s super busy schedule, one whole month of coming home to a sleeping Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol feels like he’s missing out on Kyungsoo’s life. His profile isn’t of much help, since Kyungsoo has never been a social media person to begin with. There’s a post from Baekhyun that says “I MISS U MY SQUISHY” on Kyungsoo’s profile, along with a gif of a waddling penguin, two days ago. Chanyeol finds a smile on his lips as a yawn escapes his mouth. He scrolls past tagged photos of Kyungsoo, most of them from Jongdae’s posts. He sees a group photo, with Kyungsoo smiling in the middle of the group as he holds a tiny trophy. One of their ad campaigns must have won an award. The smile on Chanyeol’s face isn’t wearing off, but he feels the energy in him leaving him. The last thing Chanyeol sees on Kyungsoo’s profile is a photo of him and Junmyeon in some fancy restaurant. The caption reads: Celebratory dinner!
Chanyeol falls asleep, his head on the dining table, right next to his phone.
He feels like shit the moment he wakes up. His back hurts, and there’s this numbing pain in his legs. Chanyeol scrunches his nose at himself as the realization hits him that he actually fell asleep on the dining table. Well, this is new, he usually passes out on either the couch or the rug.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Kyungsoo’s voice comes from the bathroom. “Finally.” He adds, his voice competing with the sound of a hairdryer.
“Thanks for the porridge!” Chanyeol yells, his voice husky from sleep. He stands up, and stretches. His bones crack, but he sort of feels better, if not for the headache that’s creeping up yet again.
Kyungsoo steps out of the bathroom, clad in his favorite pair of jeans and a pastel shirt. It feels sort of refreshing for the eyes, since Kyungsoo just usually wears black all the damn time. “Please sleep in your own bed if you actually want to get better.” He reprimands Chanyeol, his brows furrowing with worry.
Chanyeol purses his lips and nods sleepily. His eyes land on the digital clock by the living room. 8:28AM. “What day is it?” He asks, because he’s not sure if he lost track of time and slept through a whole day in his problematic position. If he did, then he probably needs a massage. And a shower, definitely, because he’s been wearing his outfit for how many days now.
“It’s Saturday.” Kyungsoo answers him, tying his shoes by the doorway.
Chanyeol sighs, feeling relieved that he didn’t sleep through a day. He only slept for around four hours, and he definitely needs more than that.
“I’m having breakfast with-” Kyungsoo starts, but is interrupted by the chime of their doorbell.
Chanyeol moves to get it, but Kyungsoo’s already opening the door when he walks closer. Chanyeol sees Junmyeon, dressed in an equally bright shade as Kyungsoo. There it is again, the something that twists in Chanyeol’s stomach.
“Hey, you ready?” Junmyeon asks Kyungsoo with a smile and with eyes that practically sparkle. Said sparkling eyes suddenly move their gaze to a very unkempt Chanyeol, and Junmyeon looks surprised. “Chanyeol! It’s been years!” Junmyeon basically leaps over, letting himself inside the apartment, to hug Chanyeol.
Chanyeol awkwardly hugs back, and he has to crouch down a bit since he’s towering over Junmyeon. Junmyeon smells like expensive fabric conditioner and Chanyeol probably smells so bad since he hasn’t showered yet. He feels extra awkward because Junmyeon’s patting his back a bit too hard and Chanyeol can feel a disgusting cough about to come out from his mouth and spread germs on his flatmate’s date.
They finally break the hug that seemed to last ages for Chanyeol. “It’s so nice to see you again!” Chanyeol says as enthusiastically as possible, but his nasal voice betrays him and makes him sound as sick and unhealthy as ever.
“I’ll be back in the afternoon, Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo tells him, already halfway out the door. “Let’s go.” He gives Junmyeon a small smile.
“Let’s catch up, soon.” Junmyeon tells him, giving him another set of pat on the backs, before following Kyungsoo and exiting the apartment.
Chanyeol heaves a sigh. He drags himself to his room, his eyes feeling heavy and his limbs too tired. It’s only 8:30AM but Chanyeol’s already had a long day.
Chanyeol dreams of Junmyeon. It’s absurd and vague, with Junmyeon laughing at him against a background of a very dramatic thunderstorm, paired with the background music that they’ve been using specifically for the scenes of the drama’s main antagonist. There’s a mix of angry violins and pianos ringing in Chanyeol’s head when he suddenly wakes up. He stares and blinks at the white ceiling of his bedroom for a few seconds, before erasing the image of Junmyeon and his Evil Laugh.
The glow of the sunset is filtered through the curtains of Chanyeol’s window, and it basically tells him to get up from his bed because he’s been sleeping all day. He sits up, the heaviness still not leaving his body. About to get off his bed and walk to kitchen, he pauses on his way as a bowl of sliced fruits on his desk catches his eyes. There’s a glass of water right next to it, along with medicine that Kyungsoo probably bought for him on his way home from his date. How would Chanyeol even survive without Kyungsoo? If there’s a Best Flatmate Of All Time Award, Kyungsoo deserves it. Chanyeol will give that award to Kyungsoo and he will parade his best flatmate ever around their apartment, even around the famous stone tombs of Seokchon-dong just near their place, and maybe even around Gangnam so that everyone in his studio and Kyungsoo’s agency would know that Kyungsoo is just the best.
“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol yells with a nasal and rough voice. He pads forward, though a bit sluggish, and opens the door for Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo’s standing in front of him, wearing normal unsaturated, monotone clothes unlike the pastels he wore on his breakfast date with Junmyeon a while ago. He’s looking at Chanyeol with his wide eyes, and he’s about to squint at him any minute now because Chanyeol’s just blinking at him and not saying anything.
“What do you need?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him, his stance unfaltering even when Chanyeol takes a step closer.
“A hug.” Chanyeol croaks out with much effort. Another step, and he’s practically breathing into Kyungsoo’s personal space. He’s counting the seconds in his head, and waiting for a punch on his stomach or a slap on his arm. Chanyeol’s gaze traces Kyungsoo’s face, sees the twitch in his eyebrows, and the challenge in his eyes.
“No, thank you,” Kyungsoo flatly rejects him, but he doesn’t take a step back. “I’d rather stay healthy-”
Chanyeol envelopes the smaller guy into a really tight hug, and he can feel Kyungsoo squirming for about a few seconds before relaxing his body within Chanyeol’s grasp. “You’re the bestest best friend ever.” Chanyeol sniffs, resting his chin on top of Kyungsoo’s head and attempting to sway both of their bodies.
Kyungsoo groans, sending vibrations on Chanyeol’s collarbone. “Let me go.” He commands, voice muffled by fabric.
His arms loosen around Kyungsoo, but he doesn’t let him run away from him just yet. Chanyeol holds him by the shoulders, and leans his face closer to Kyungsoo’s own. Kyungsoo doesn’t even flinch, but Chanyeol feels a sharp, subtle inhale through the slight movement of his shoulders. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Chanyeol promises, and he clears his throat since he can feel a cough coming.
Kyungsoo punches him in the stomach, not showing any mercy for the sick.
- - -
After a hundred reminders of “don’t forget to take your meds” by Kyungsoo, Chanyeol finally regains his health just in time for the viewing of the episodes. Chanyeol thanked Kyungsoo a thousand times during the time he was disgustingly sick. He’s finally healthy enough to not spread virus inside their editing studio. The post-processing studio where Chanyeol does his magic, along with the whole production team, isn’t that far from the advertising agency where Kyungsoo and Jongdae works. So Chanyeol nitpicks a few minor mistakes, nothing crucial for the drama’s airing, and quickly bolts out of the studio afterwards to get coffee for Kyungsoo. Because Kyungsoo took care of him over the weekend, and Chanyeol would probably still be dying right now if it weren’t for his flatmate.
to: kyungsoo
ARE YOU BUSY DON’T GET AFTERNOON COFFEE WITH JONGDAE I GOT U
Chanyeol texts Kyungsoo the moment he steps out of the bus. There’s a giddy and warm feeling spreading in his veins as he walks to the agency building, and the warmth spreads further when he sees a familiar mop of black hair by the entrance of the building. Kyungsoo’s idly standing by the glass doors, his brows furrowed and his attention on his phone.
Chanyeol quickens his pace and actually leaps towards Kyungsoo. “Hi! Were you waiting for me?” Chanyeol yells a bit too enthusiastically.
Kyungsoo flinches, snaps his head upwards to look at Chanyeol with a wide pair of eyes. “Are you trying to kill me with a fucking heart attack?” He spits out in semi-whisper, still loud enough for Chanyeol to hear and feel the sharp stab of his profanities.
His shoulders shake as he tries to keep his chuckles in, but Chanyeol still fails to do so in the end. He laughs, and he dodges a punch coming straight to his arm at the same time. “I bought you coffee.” He wheezes in between his laughter, his eyes never leaving Kyungsoo’s glaring ones.
In a matter of seconds, Kyungsoo’s gaze softens and focuses on the coffee carrier in Chanyeol’s grasp. “That’s sweet.” He mutters, and starts to retrieve his own cup of iced Americano from the cardboard holder.
Chanyeol carefully takes his own frappe from the carrier. “Well, this is just some sort of ‘thank you’ since you did take care of me-”
“I was talking about your chocolate frappe. That’s too sweet.” Kyungsoo interrupts and clarifies, reverting his gaze back to Chanyeol’s face.
The tips of Chanyeol’s ears are suddenly warmer than usual. “That’s too bitter.” He rebuts, scrunching his face at the dark drink in Kyungsoo’s hand. “But Jongdae did tell me that it keeps the both of you alive, so,” Chanyeol shrugs.
Kyungsoo’s lips curve into a smile while he takes a long sip. “Hey, I’ll go home in about four hours or so. You could wait for me inside the office if you want.” He offers, his gaze shyly leaving Chanyeol’s own. “If you’re not too busy.” He adds, head turning away from Chanyeol.
Chanyeol feels so proud of himself for finishing all his work at studio early. “I’d love to.” He answers with a grin.
Chanyeol spends a few hours in the agency, careful not to disturb other employees as he travels back and forth Jongdae’s and Kyungsoo’s workstations with his swivel chair. It takes a lot of Chanyeol’s willpower not to laugh hysterically at the set of funny videos Jongdae shows him. By the time Kyungsoo walks by Jongdae’s desk to hand him some printed job order forms, Chanyeol already has tears in his eyes from keeping his laughter in. Jongdae doesn’t let the day end without asking his officemate to take a picture of the three of them. Chanyeol stands in the middle, towering over both Jongdae and Kyungsoo, and slings his arms around their shoulders to pull them closer. Kyungsoo falls a bit out of balance, leans a bit too close, and something weird happens in Chanyeol’s chest for a second. And then the feeling’s gone too fast, and Chanyeol doesn’t let himself get distracted by Kyungsoo’s hand on his waist.
Jongdae picks the best one out of the set of the photos, and posts it online. It takes three seconds before Baekhyun comments “HOW DARE U GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS I’M REPORTING THIS PHOTO” along with a string of angry and crying emoticons. They all laugh at Baekhyun and annoy him further by liking the comment.
“This is totally random,” Jongdae says as they’re walking out of the building. It’s seven in the evening, and they’re all on their way home from a surprisingly calm day at the agency. “Do you guys want to give Baekhyun a surprise visit?” It’s been a while since the last time they’ve met up with Baekhyun - he is almost always locked up in the entertainment company’s building and is always vocal coaching different trainees. Though Jongdae does live nearby Baekhyun’s area and he can actually visit him anytime he wants to, it’s still hundred times better if the four of them are all together.
Chanyeol already has his mouth open, ready to put the spontaneous idea into action, when the sound of a car honking stops him from answering. Their attention gets caught by a blazing red car slowly coming to a halt in front of them.
“Right.” Jongdae exhales, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at him. “Boyfriend duties.” Jongdae groans and jumps away from Kyungsoo’s fingers pinching him on his sides.
The car window rolls down to reveal Junmyeon with an ever ready smile on his face. “Hi! How was work?” He greets all of them too brightly, eyes crinkling into crescents. He nods at Chanyeol, acknowledging his presence, and lets his gaze linger at Kyungsoo at bit longer.
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo arrive at their apartment - courtesy of Kim Junmyeon and his super safe, super slow driving. Chanyeol brings up tidbits of college memories he can remember and Junmyeon completes the missing details along the way. Kyungsoo almost reaches for Chanyeol’s neck in the backseat when Chanyeol talks about that time Kyungsoo wept at one of Media Arts’ plays. Throughout the one hour ride, Chanyeol keeps the question he’s been meaning to ask Kyungsoo and Junmyeon at the back of his throat. He doesn’t need to know how long this has been going on, doesn’t need to know when Junmyeon started to drive Kyungsoo home from work.
“Thanks for the lift home!” Chanyeol politely says before getting off the car.
“Anytime.” Junmyeon smiles and nods at him.
Chanyeol’s walking towards the gate of their apartment, a hand searching for his keys in the pocket of jeans. He successfully opens the lock, and cranes his head. He’s expecting to see Kyungsoo walking towards their flat and a red car driving away. He wasn’t expecting to see Junmyeon giving Kyungsoo a chaste, almost too innocent kiss on the lips after opening the car door for him. Chanyeol quickly turns his head away, and enters their apartment building. He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo, speeds up the stairs to get to their floor, and hurriedly keys in the code to their flat.
The concoction of anxiety and disgust is back, and it’s boiling at the pit of his stomach. Chanyeol’s breathing heavily while trudging straight to his room, shutting the door behind him. It’s too dark inside his room, and inside their whole flat, since he didn’t even bother to switch on the main lights. Chanyeol reaches his hand to his side, and searches for the light switch. He switches the lights on. The sudden brightness reminds him of the dashing smile Junmyeon has on his face whenever he looks at Kyungsoo and the gleam in Kyungsoo’s eyes that Junmyeon gets to see all the damn time. Anger fumes within Chanyeol, subtly and slowly, and he pushes back the emotion because he can’t understand it. He hears the door to the flat opening, and lights being switched on in the living room. Chanyeol switches the lights off in his room, and maybe the image of Kyungsoo’s bright smile would go away.
Chanyeol’s lying face flat on his bed when he hears the door to his room open. After all the thrashing and rolling around his bed in hopes of releasing the emotional distress he’s been feeling lately, he’s too tired to actually turn over and face Kyungsoo.
There’s the sound of the light switch along with gentle footsteps. “Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo calls him. He moves Chanyeol’s feet slightly to the side so he could sit on the edge of the bed. “Thank you for the coffee.”
“Sure.” Chanyeol replies, voice muffled by his pillow. Chanyeol waits for Kyungsoo to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All he can hear is the sound of the clock ticking and the thumps of his weirdly paced heartbeat.
Kyungsoo exhales loudly.
Chanyeol flips over, and sits himself up in one quick movement. His eyes adjust to the brightness of his room and he just stares at Kyungsoo. They’re face to face now, and Chanyeol moves closer to Kyungsoo. He sets the distance, and pushes himself a bit closer than usual.
Kyungsoo’s hair is damp, and there’s a towel draping around his neck. He blinks at Chanyeol, lifts his eyebrows at him without saying a thing.
It’s kind of intimidating, as if Kyungsoo’s challenging him to confess all his deepest, darkest secrets with a single raise of his eyebrows. Chanyeol finds his mouth gaping open, but the no words come out. He closes it again, and he’s a fish out of water - out in the open, exposed in sunlight, and barely surviving.
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrow, and Chanyeol can hear the question even if Kyungsoo doesn’t say it. What’s wrong? Kyungsoo probably means to ask, with the way he’s looking at Chanyeol.
“Nothing.” Chanyeol answers. “Good night.” He says, shifting to get under the covers once again.
Kyungsoo stares at him until he has turned away, his back now facing Kyungsoo. “Good night.” Kyungsoo replies as he switches the lights off.
- - -
“Oh my god, it’s been years.” Baekhyun yells as he flops down on the couch next to Jongdae, already feeling very comfortable inside Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s flat.
“It’s only been months.” Jongdae corrects him, his attention on his phone, and whines when Baekhyun suddenly leans all of his weight against him.
“Baekhyun just probably missed us too much.” Chanyeol screams from the kitchen. He’s currently reaching the stack of flyers on top of their fridge - the ones Kyungsoo can never reach, even if he tiptoes - to look for the phone number of the pizza place. Every now and then, Baekhyun and Jongdae would crash into their apartment just to watch a movie or even marathon a series with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo for a whole day. Sometimes they get too emotional at the end of every film, and after a week or so, Kyungsoo would have to tell everyone to just shut up about it for a second in their group chat. Sometimes they don’t even watch what’s playing on the TV and would end up having heated (and hilarious) arguments about the smallest things.
“Chanyeol, hold on, you don’t need to order-” Jongdae starts, eyeing the pizza flyer in Chanyeol’s hand as the taller guy makes his way to the phone in the living room.
“Kyungsoo said that Junmyeon’s buying pizza.” Baekhyun announces, grinning at him and waggling his eyebrows at him. He fidgets as he lies down on the couch, occupying the entirety of the piece of furniture and resting his thighs on Jongdae’s lap.
“Oh,” Chanyeol stops in his tracks, and blinks. “He’s joining us?” He asks even if the answer’s already crystal clear.
“Apparently, yeah.” Jongdae answers and shrugs, still busy with his phone.
Over the years, Chanyeol has never even brought any of his past girlfriends to their Weekend Marathons. One does not simply bring the person they’re dating to these kind of events. Sometimes - well, most of the time - everything just gets so crazy even with only just the four of them, and none of them would surely want to see their other half see them in their lowest point in life. Unless, they’re in a really serious relationship. If Kyungsoo’s letting Junmyeon tag along, then their relationship must be kind of serious after all. And Chanyeol’s okay with that, he has to be okay with that. He folds the flyer he’s holding and tries to ignore the persistent and weird feeling in his chest.
Kyungsoo and Junmyeon arrive not long after, carrying three large boxes of pizza and just the right amount of soju bottles to turn Baekhyun into a mess within an hour. Chanyeol and Jongdae offer their praises to Junmyeon’s wealth and power to buy loads of food before claiming a box of pizza just for themselves.
“This sort of feels like a college reunion.” Junmyeon comments before Kyungsoo plays the movie, sliding closer to fit himself next to Kyungsoo on the large, single seater couch. Jongdae hums in agreement and fidgets in the space between Baekhyun and Chanyeol.
Chanyeol doesn’t pay attention to the zombie movie they’re watching and gets so distracted with the way Kyungsoo comfortably leans against Junmyeon. Something twists in his stomach every time Kyungsoo would lean in to whisper in Junmyeon’s ear, probably commenting about the movie. It’s weird because Chanyeol doesn’t feel it when Kyungsoo would fondly chuckle at Baekhyun’s screams whenever a surprising gore scene comes up on screen, but he feels it with the slightest attention or subtle touch Kyungsoo would give Junmyeon. They’re not even past the fifteen mark of the movie, and Chanyeol’s already opening a bottle soju to cleanse all the unnecessary emotions he’s been feeling.
It’s 10PM, and Chanyeol’s face hurts from laughing too much over Kyungsoo and Jongdae’s heated argument. They were talking about zombie apocalypse scenarios not too long ago, but they suddenly steered into a topic about the repetitive formula of the sports animes Kyungsoo would always watch. No one even knows how it transitioned, but no one can call off the debate that’s going nowhere - except maybe for Baekhyun’s abrupt drunk stripping session.
Every single one of them stops whatever they’re doing to pull him down from the coffee table when he starts ripping off his shirt. Junmyeon almost tackles him, his face showing how panicked he is. Jongdae makes Baekhyun sit on the sofa and asks him to behave.
Kyungsoo crouches in front of Baekhyun so that they’re face to face. “Baekhyun, where do you live?” Kyungsoo tests him, an eyebrow raising as he waits for a proper response.
“Bucheon!” Baekhyun answers instantly and giggles while scratching his cheek. His other hand’s still holding his second soju bottle of the night, and it’s ridiculous how much of a lightweight Baekhyun is.
Kyungsoo flits his gaze from Jongdae to Chanyeol alternatively, a tired expression looming over his face.
“Well,” Jongdae exhales. “That’s it for today.” He purses his lips into a tight smile and politely bows to everyone before pulling Baekhyun by his arm.
“Can he go home safely?” Junmyeon worriedly asks, his hands are on his hips and his forehead creasing.
“Nope,” Chanyeol answers while walking to the coat hanger by the doorway to get his hoodie. “He’s really gonna end up in Bucheon if we let him catch a cab by himself. We’ll make sure he gets home, in Seoul.”
“I ended up in Bucheon with him one time, let’s not forget that tragic night.” Jongdae adds, dragging an unsteady Baekhyun towards the doorway. “I still don’t know why the cab driver listen to him instead of me.” He whines.
“Lock him up in his unit,” Kyungsoo says coldly, stretching his arms as he sits on the couch. “So he won’t go anywhere else.”
Chanyeol glances at Junmyeon’s horrified expression and he chuckles. “I’ll be back in a few.” Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo as he says goodbye, hurriedly squeezing through a stumbling Baekhyun and a pacifying Jongdae to get out of the flat.
“We’ll get going!” Jongdae yells, an arm around Baekhyun shoulders as he drags the giggly boy. “We had a great time, see you all soon!” Jongdae continues to scream even when they’re out in the hallway.
The elevator in the apartment is painfully slow. They could take the stairs, but they really don’t want to risk a drunk Baekhyun falling off a stairwell. Jongdae reasons out that it would be perfect blackmail material if they catch it on video, but their friend’s life and safety always comes first.
Chanyeol’s hands frantically search the pocket of his jeans, and the pockets of his hoodie.
Jongdae’s looking at him with an agitated expression while he holds onto Baekhyun’s arm, just in case he decides to run into the streets. “Chanyeol, don’t-”
“I forgot my car keys.” Chanyeol tells him, his eyes large and apologetic.
An exhale escapes Jongdae’s mouth.
“Wait for me by my car.”
Jongdae whines. Baekhyun slaps him on face in an attempt to shush him. “Too noisy!” Baekhyun faux-whispers, palming Jongdae’s face while clinging closer.
Chanyeol leaps through the steps of the stairs as fast as he can. It’s such a hassle for him to forget his keys, and he feels so sorry for leaving Jongdae alone with an almost uncontrollable Baekhyun in the parking lot. He hurriedly unlocks their door with the code, and he freezes when he enters the flat.
Junmyeon’s backed up on the wall, and Kyungsoo’s about to go in for a kiss. The hair on top of their heads are a crazy mess and their shirts are in each other’s fists - and it doesn’t even take Chanyeol a second to guess what’s happening. Junmyeon has raw panic in his eyes, and Kyungsoo backs away from him upon noticing Chanyeol inside their flat.
Chanyeol wills himself to actually move and just get the goddamn keys. His face is heating up, and his steps are shaky. The intense combination of anger and shock and anxiety is spreading through his entire body, overpowering the secondhand embarrassment he initially felt.
“Sorry, carry on.” He croaks out with a rough voice, and walks to the shelf by their living room to retrieve his car keys. Chanyeol tries to hide his face by keeping his head down, letting strands of his hair fall over his avoidant eyes.
Chanyeol doesn’t mean to, but he closes the door with extra force on his way out. He’s speeding through the hallway while he tries to shut down the images that his mind keeps on unhelpfully replaying for him. Chanyeol doesn’t want a flashback of what just happened, nor does he want to see the flush on Kyungsoo’s cheeks and the heat in his gaze as he looks at Junmyeon. He blinks out the image of Kyungsoo’s parted lips merely an inch away from Junmyeon’s own. Chanyeol doesn’t want to hear an angry symphony of violins but his brain betrays him and fuels his emotions even more.
“Are you alright?” Jongdae asks right away as Chanyeol strides towards them.
Chanyeol breathes in, and breathes out slowly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He manages to answer, even with the annoying lump on his throat. He unlocks the car and Jongdae doesn’t pry any further, giving him an understanding look before guiding Baekhyun to the backseat.
He hates it when the stoplight turns red, because it gives him time to think. Chanyeol really doesn’t want to do a lot of thinking while driving, mainly because drama protagonists get into an accident and forget everything - even the love of their life - when they think too much while driving. Chanyeol doesn’t want his life to suddenly turn into a melodrama.
Everything is actually alright, everything is okay. Chanyeol taps his fingers on the steering wheel, convincing himself that he doesn’t feel like shit. He tries to go back to that moment just a few minutes ago, when he was filming Jongdae and Baekhyun outside Baekhyun’s unit. Without context, it’s just a video of Jongdae feeling up Baekhyun who looks surprisingly pleased at Jongdae’s invasive hands. In reality, Jongdae was just looking for Baekhyun’s keys because the intoxicated guy wouldn’t cooperate.
The GPS tells him that he has about ten minutes before he arrives at their flat. He gulps. His mind’s suddenly coming up with a dozen theories as he drives home. Maybe Chanyeol just saw everything without context. Maybe in reality, they weren’t making out. Maybe Chanyeol is just overreacting. Maybe Chanyeol is so mad at Junmyeo-
He hits the brakes. The red stoplight hurts his eyes and it’s probably the reason why his eyes feel so watery all of a sudden.
Chanyeol enters the flat to see Kyungsoo cleaning up their living room. He’s busy rearranging the throw pillows on the couch, and Chanyeol quickly walks to his room. He doesn’t shut the door to his room, doesn’t block out a possible chance of Kyungsoo explaining everything to him. It’s not what you think, Kyungsoo would probably barge in any second now and clear things up.
But Kyungsoo doesn’t explain anything, doesn’t barge into Chanyeol’s room to clear things up. All he says is a simple “Good night” to Chanyeol before heading straight to his own room. Maybe it is what it is after all - with or without context, with or without an explanation, Chanyeol still feels like someone just stomped on his chest. He closes the door to his room before sleeping.
- - -
(part two)
pairing: Chanyeol/Kyungsoo, minor Kyungsoo/Yixing and Kyungsoo/Junmyeon
genre: au, fluff, angst, romance
rating: pg
warnings: chanyeol's "homophobic tendencies"
word count: 18295 words
summary: Chanyeol feels something weird and funny in his stomach whenever he sees Kyungsoo with another guy. Chanyeol convinces himself that it’s nothing and dismisses the fact that he may be catching feelings for his flatmate.
notes: written for the exohousewarming fic fest!! kudos to the prompter for leaving such an amazing prompt <3 also, as always, thank you zvarrii for being a wonderful beta ily so much c: this is also the longest thing i've written so far and i'm just crying bye
Chanyeol didn’t want to admit it, but he’s kind of having a bad day.
He accidentally dumped in two teaspoons of salt, instead of sugar, in his coffee this morning and their internet connection was extra slow just when he had to email the final track list for this week. (He should really read the script earlier from now on, so that he wouldn’t panic when their internet decides to fuck up again.)
And just when things couldn’t get any worse, he just had to be dumb and accidentally overwrite A Very Important save file on the current video game he’s playing. Chanyeol just wants to cry. But he won’t, because he is a grown ass man who doesn’t shed weak unmanly tears. But this semi-shitty day will be alright soon enough, because Kyungsoo - his flatmate slash best buddy in the entire universe - is coming back in about an hour and they’re going to make the best kimbap rolls the moment he gets home. (Which probably means that Kyungsoo will make most of the kimbap and Chanyeol will just eat it all afterwards.)
Chanyeol’s phone vibrates on the small coffee table by the couch just when he is about to throw the console controller and give up entirely on the game.
from: kyungsoo
Will be home a bit late. Go ahead and have dinner, don’t wait for me.
Something washes over him so quick, like a sudden whiplash of mixed emotions. He can’t put his complicated feelings into words or even translate it into his own thoughts, but the slight pang is somewhere in his chest. Chanyeol stares at the text message for about ten seconds before surrendering into defeat and wailing out the ugliest crying noises. Maybe he is kind of having a bad day.
Chanyeol only puts an effort into cooking when he’s cooking for him and Kyungsoo, because the pressure is so so so real when Kyungsoo eyes him from their living room while he’s chopping up something. It’s as if he’s on Masterchef Korea every time he catches Kyungsoo’s eyes squinting at his knifework from afar, already judging his dish even if he hasn’t served it yet. And since Kyungsoo is the better cook between the two of them, Chanyeol also feels an uncontrollable smile forming on his lips every time he earns Kyungsoo’s praises for the meals he prepared. But when Chanyeol has to eat all alone, then a cup of instant ramen and a small plate of cold kimchi would be fine.
The door to their flat opens just when Chanyeol’s peeling off the lid of the ramen cup.
“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol calls out a bit too enthusiastically, like an overly happy puppy wagging its tail at its owner.
Kyungsoo looks at him with his wide eyes, his hair disheveled from the cold winds outside. “Hey Chanyeol,” he greets in return as he takes off his shoes. “I brought a friend. This is Yixing.” He announces, a tinge of hesitation in his voice.
“Oh.” Chanyeol replies and cranes his head to take a look at their visitor. Chanyeol channels his inner cool guy persona and greets him with a very cool “Sup?”
“Hi.” Yixing smiles at him with the cutest dimples that could probably get rid of all the evil on earth. He then trudges forward along Kyungsoo’s side and slings an arm around the smaller guy. “What do you mean friend?” Yixing questions Kyungsoo in lightly accented Korean, playfully blowing on Kyungsoo’s ear, before they flop down on the couch.
Chanyeol’s breath hitches as he waits for Kyungsoo to punch Yixing in the stomach - because you can never just blow on Kyungsoo’s ear like that and get away with it. But Kyungsoo’s attack never comes. Instead, he sees Kyungsoo leaning a bit too comfortably on Yixing’s side.
Chanyeol loses his appetite a bit.
“Yixing will just stay here until the rush hour dies down.” Kyungsoo announces from the couch. He eyes Chanyeol’s dinner before flitting his gaze back to his face.
“Sure, sure.” Chanyeol says coolly before slurping down some of the soup, even if he’s suddenly not so hungry anymore. He almost embarrasses himself, almost yelps because the soup is too hot and he’s got tears in his eyes. And then all at once, after Chanyeol saves his burnt tongue with gulps of cold water, Yixing slings an arm around Kyungsoo’s small shoulders, suddenly leaning close and whispering something to Kyungsoo. Chanyeol almost feels like he’s intruding on something so intimate and the funny, the weird feeling in his stomach is just getting more intense.
Maybe he should just eat in the quickest way possible, preferably without choking on his noodles. It’s kind of hard for him to swallow the warm instant noodles, not when the smile on Kyungsoo’s mouth kind of ties his stomach into a mess of knots and oh. Yixing gives Kyungsoo a quick peck on the cheek. Chanyeol would’ve probably missed it if he weren’t staring so blatantly. Kyungsoo lightly punches the side of Yixing’s arm, eyes squinting and lips curving into a smile.
Oh, they’re dating. Kyungsoo and Yixing are dating and Chanyeol kind of feels dumb to have only noticed it now. He also feels weird because within the depths of his feelings, there’s a tinge of… disgust? He’s not quite sure, but he feels something every time his flatmate’s eyes sparkle at Yixing, and seriously, Chanyeol shouldn’t be feeling this way. Just because he’s extremely straight doesn’t mean he has the right to feel grossed out by his flatmate who isn’t.
So he gulps down the rest of his meal, eating as much as he could, and it’s the first time that he couldn’t finish a small cup of instant ramen. It’s also the first time Chanyeol feels a concoction of disgust and anxiety at the pit of his stomach just by looking at Kyungsoo, who’s looking at another guy. Chanyeol’s own feelings scare the shit out of him.
Yixing goes home after an hour of cuddling with Kyungsoo on the couch, making sure to give another dimpled smile to Chanyeol before leaving. With pink gloves on his hands and soap suds splattered on his forearm, Chanyeol beams at him and wishes the nice guy a safe trip home. His hands are currently washing the dishes which piled up the whole day, but his mind is somewhere else. For all he knows he’s supposed to be making kimbap rolls with Kyungsoo, not having homophobic tendencies on a Friday night and mentally cursing himself for doing so.
There’s the sound of the door closing, and it takes Kyungsoo about two heartbeats before he asks, “Are you okay?”
Chanyeol suddenly feels a lump in his throat and he forcefully croaks out a, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He’s lying. It’s ridiculous how Kyungsoo can read him too well sometimes. Chanyeol just wants to hide at this very moment because he’s so guilty for being disgusted when all his best friend did was casually bring a guy to their shared apartment. It’s not even the first time Kyungsoo has brought home a guy and it’s not like Chanyeol still needs some time to accept Kyungsoo’s sexual orientation, because he already did, years ago. Right after Kyungsoo came out to them during college, Chanyeol just accepted him with open arms and a bone crushing hug to match. Chanyeol is just so bothered and kind of angry at himself, so he quickly washes the remaining dishes so that he could just go to his bed and curl up and just silently wail in his misery.
Suddenly, Kyungsoo slides up next to him, in front of their tiny kitchen counter, and begins to lay down some vegetables on a chopping board. “You don’t look okay.” He says, leaning closer to Chanyeol, invading his personal space, just to wash a cucumber and a carrot.
Chanyeol ignores the loud beating in his chest and just hums in reply, in the most nonchalant way possible. “I told you, I’m okay.” He gives the smaller boy a tight smile, and Kyungsoo just blankly stares at him return. And it makes Chanyeol squirm because Kyungsoo is probably trying to read him at the very moment. The worst part is that when it comes to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol is an open book and he’s so damn defenseless every single time.
Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything though, and just continues working in silence. He proceeds to slice the vegetables, his analyzing eyes drifting away from Chanyeol and focusing on the chopping board instead.
“Take off your gloves and help me make kimbap.” Kyungsoo’s voice disrupts the quiet after a few minutes, and it’s as if everything suddenly shifts back to normal.
A grin finds its way to Chanyeol’s mouth, and a chuckle escapes from his lips. “I don’t want to.” He jokes, but he takes off his gloves anyway.
Kyungsoo stops slicing the vegetables and glares at him.
“Just kidding. I’ll cook rice.” Chanyeol quickly mutters. He suddenly feels warmer even as his stomach stays feeling kind of weird, but it’s a different kind of weird from before. The kimbap will surely make up for the slightly bad day he had to go through.
- - -
On weekends, Kyungsoo likes to buy groceries at ten in the morning. It’s definitely two hours too early for Chanyeol, because arriving at the grocery store at 10AM means that Kyungsoo will forcefully wake Chanyeol up at around 9AM. It also means that Chanyeol has no choice but to wake up and get ready because Kyungsoo usually pulls him out of his bed, literally. He’s still having war flashbacks to that one time he almost hit his head on the floor, when Kyungsoo basically transformed into Hulk and used too much force on him.
They go through different aisles together, Chanyeol pushing the cart and Kyungsoo reading his grocery list from a small post it. They stop at the vegetables section and Kyungsoo takes his sweet time to pick the best carrot. He scrutinizes every single one of them, eyes squinting through his glasses. An old lady is right next to Kyungsoo, also investigating the vegetables one by one, and the similarity is so evident. Chanyeol purses his lips tightly to keep a chuckle in.
Sometimes the Sound Editor within Chanyeol’s soul won’t leave even in the most mundane moments of life - like for example, when he’s at the grocery with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is walking towards him with heaps of vegetables in his arms, looking straight at him, and Chanyeol hears this serene melody mainly played by a piano or maybe an acoustic guitar.
“What are you looking at?” Kyungsoo furrows his brows at him, and the music in Chanyeol’s head still won’t stop playing.
Chanyeol grins. “Nothing.”
Kyungsoo playfully punches him in the gut, and Chanyeol’s not sure if Kyungsoo’s punches are getting weaker or if he’s just immune to them by now. “Stop being weird in public.” Kyungsoo warns him, his lips slowly curving into smile, and Chanyeol hears the instrumental a bit louder than before.
Kyungsoo tugs at Chanyeol’s sleeve, pulling him to the side and signaling him to make way for the elderly couple who’s about to pass by them. Maybe Kyungsoo would be grumpier when they grow old, maybe he’d be slower and more meticulous in picking out his vegetables. Chanyeol bets that Kyungsoo would still drink three cups of coffee a day even if he’s way too old to do so.
“Remind me that we have to stop by the bakery later,” Kyungsoo interrupts his train of thought as he walks forward slowly, letting Chanyeol catch up to him with their cart. “I want croissants.” He mutters, mostly to himself, while seriously typing on his phone.
The music that’s been embedded into Chanyeol’s mind suddenly fades into an abrupt halt as he catches a glimpse of Yixing’s name on Kyungsoo’s phone and the small smile on Kyungsoo’s lips.
The grocery is a ten-minute walk from their flat but it rains on their way home. Neither of them brought an umbrella, and now they’re under the porch roof of a bakery with their hands full of paper bags. Chanyeol regrets pointing out the coffee sale in the grocery, otherwise Kyungsoo wouldn’t have bought around eight bottles of latte and Chanyeol wouldn’t be carrying all of them right now.
“Yixing’s agency wants him to work in China.” Kyungsoo breaks the silence. It immediately cuts off Chanyeol’s thoughts about bottled instant coffee. Kyungsoo isn’t even looking at him; he’s looking at the rain pelting on the ground with downcast eyes.
“Oh,” Chanyeol replies, adjusting the paper bags in his arms to balance their weight. “So what’s gonna happen?” He asks. What’s gonna happen between you two? He wants to ask further, but the sudden sound of the heavy rain drowns his words.
Kyungsoo shrugs and looks at him. “I don’t know.” He holds Chanyeol’s gaze for a few seconds before looking back at the puddles on the sidewalk. “You know I’m not a long-distance relationship kind of person. It’s too much effort.” Kyungsoo answers as if he heard Chanyeol’s unspoken question, and bites on his lower lip for a few seconds.
The rain is slowly letting down and Chanyeol nods quietly. Of course, Chanyeol knows. Kyungsoo is practically engaged to his job as an Account Manager, and he has a hectic schedule all the time with all of the clients he has to deal with. Even during college, Kyungsoo really likes going forward with minimal hindrances as much as possible. Kyungsoo likes to get things done, he likes to be on schedule, and he likes to be meticulous in almost everything. Chanyeol believes that Kyungsoo deserves someone who’ll keep up with his pace. “Yixing’s nice though.” Chanyeol comments out of nowhere. Something flips in his stomach as he says those words, and he gulps down the feeling.
“He is.” Kyungsoo mutters and quickly clears his throat. “Let’s go before it pours again.” He trudges forward so fast, but then after a few steps, he slows it down so Chanyeol can catch up.
- - -
Chanyeol comes home late one night. The final post-processing of the drama episode took more than a day and he just wants a good night’s sleep. He’s tired from the actual editing and tired from the commute, since he’d rather sleep on a bus than drive with dropping eyelids. He opens the door to their flat, and he’s suddenly enveloped in darkness. It’s not unusual, since the light of the digital clock in their living room tells him that it’s already 11PM and Kyungsoo usually sleeps before midnight since he has work in the morning.
What’s unusual is that when Chanyeol enters his room, he finds a lump on his bed, covered in his blanket. Some of his pillows are discarded on the floor, right next to Kyungsoo’s white slippers. Chanyeol gently places his backpack on his desk, careful not to wake the sleeping boy. Kyungsoo’s fingers are loosely cradling his phone, and it lights up with a new message. Chanyeol very gently removes the phone from Kyungsoo’s grasp to place it down the bedside table, and he sees Yixing’s name on the screen.
“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol croaks out, his voice rough from the fatigue. He hesitates, biting his lower lip and running a towel onto his wet hair absentmindedly. “Kyungsoo,” he tries again, and steps closer to his bed. “Are you gonna sleep here?” He asks, and the body under the blanket shifts.
“What,” Kyungsoo lowers the blanket to reveal a mop of messy black hair and squinting eyes. “What time is it?” He manages to ask, deep voice laced with drowsiness.
“Uh,” Chanyeol mutters before checking the analog clock on his wall and not seeing the time properly because of the darkness. He scrambles over to his desk to check the time on his phone. “It’s 12:03AM.”
Kyungsoo pulls the blanket over his head once again and Chanyeol hears a muffled sharp exhale. “Get in here.” He commands, making space for Chanyeol.
Chanyeol hangs the towel on a chair by his desk, and snorts at the way Kyungsoo’s taking command as if Chanyeol’s the one who’s in the wrong room. “This is my bed you know.” Chanyeol points out as he slides next to Kyungsoo, wriggling in place to find a comfortable position.
Kyungsoo just hums, facing the window instead of facing Chanyeol. “We’re gonna stop seeing each other.” Kyungsoo says in a quiet voice. “He’s leaving for China in a week.”
Chanyeol stills for a moment, and he’s suddenly hyperaware of the way Kyungsoo shifts so subtly under the covers. “Are you okay?”
“Just tired.” Kyungsoo lets out another exhale, his shoulders sagging. “I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol replies, surprised at the amount of sincerity in his own voice. “He seemed like a nice guy.” He adds, before reaching out to pat Kyungsoo’s arm. (He guesses that it is Kyungsoo’s arm, under the blanket.)
Chanyeol has a catalogue of music for Kyungsoo in his head - for when Kyungsoo’s mad at him, when Kyungsoo’s looking at him weirdly, when Kyungsoo’s so tired from work, and a whole lot more which would take hours to enumerate. But for times like these, he prefers silence. Because the moments when Kyungsoo actually seems vulnerable are so rare that Chanyeol doesn’t want any kind of disruption. He hears the ticking of the clock on his wall, the quiet hum of the air conditioning unit, and Kyungsoo’s even breathing.
Kyungsoo looks so small, all of a sudden. Time stills and it’s as if Chanyeol’s seeing the Kyungsoo in high school who unrequitedly pined after someone, or maybe the Kyungsoo in college who experienced his first ever serious breakup. He’s taken back to all the times Kyungsoo has crawled into his bed and just slept beside him - because he fought with his parents, because that one client is an asshole, because he got dumped by someone for the first time, and all the other heartaches. Chanyeol has practically gone through it all with Kyungsoo, and he keeps on hoping, every single time, that his mere presence is enough to make Kyungsoo feel a bit better. He stays up until three in the morning aching for Kyungsoo’s own happiness and ignoring the weird feeling in his gut.
- - -
Kyungsoo stops dating Yixing, and a month passes by normally. Except Chanyeol would always go back to that night he felt his throat swell up with fear as disgust swirled inside his stomach, the night Yixing visited. It would just suddenly snatch away Chanyeol’s focus whenever he’s going through a script or editing an audio file, and Chanyeol would find himself staring at nothing in particular for about five minutes. It’s insane, and Chanyeol’s going crazy over this Very Mysterious Homophobic Tendency Case of his.
So Chanyeol calls up Jongdae, his other best buddy in the entire universe who works in the same agency as Kyungsoo. He is determined to solve this case once and for all.
Jongdae picks up the call and Chanyeol gets straight to the point “Have you ever thought of marrying Baekhyun?”
“Chanyeol, I need to be in a meeting with Kyungsoo in five minutes.” Jongdae’s whiny voice comes through the static louder than usual. “Also, no. We’re like, best friends.”
“Sure.” Chanyeol replies, and the images of Jongdae and Baekhyun totally acting like a married bickering couple come into his mind. He waits for it, but he doesn’t get a weird feeling in his stomach, even if he pictures Jongdae with his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulders, which is a completely normal occurrence since forever. “I just want to say that I’m totally okay if you guys ever get married and I support you guys.” Chanyeol rambles on. “And I am not a homophobe.” He says it more to himself because really, he isn’t. Conclusion: Maybe it was just a one-time thing, maybe he was just extra sensitive when Yixing came over that night.
There is a pause and Chanyeol takes the phone off of his ears to check if the call is still connected. It still is. “Jongdae?” He checks if his friend is still there. Maybe Jongdae’s having a sudden epiphany that he does like Baekhyun. Well then, he’d have to thank Chanyeol for that later.
“Okay Chanyeol, what is your problem? Did something happen?” Jongdae breathes his question out tiredly. “Also, can we talk about this next time because I can see Kyungsoo heading to the meeting room as of this moment.” He quickly replies before Chanyeol could even say anything. “Nice talk, though. Bye.” Jongdae speaks so quickly before hanging up.
Chanyeol is left all alone with the beeping of his phone from a hung up call, yet he sort of feels less conflicted now. He assures himself that maybe it was just a one-time thing and he will never ever get grossed out by homosexuality ever again. Chanyeol just needs to assure himself from now on.
Kyungsoo comes home just in time to catch Chanyeol weeping quietly on the couch, the credits of Brokeback Mountain playing on the TV and a stack of unread scripts lying in a mess on their coffee table.
“I can explain.” Chanyeol shouts with a nasal voice. He was just trying to confirm that he wasn’t a homophobe after all, and he suddenly got this very strong urge to watch the movie after the conversation with Jongdae. Well, the movie did help Chanyeol realize that he isn’t grossed out by homosexuality, yet it also turned him into an emotional wreck.
“I’m not even asking.” Kyungsoo replies coldly as he walks straight to his room, but Chanyeol can see his lips curving and his shoulders shaking as he chuckles on his way.
- - -
“Remember Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo suddenly asks one night while they’re eating microwaved pasta.
Chanyeol coughs, almost chokes, but tries his best not to because Kyungsoo is giving him a wide-eyed concerned look from across the table. Kyungsoo should stop throwing curveballs at him, especially during dinner time. “Yeah, why?” He manages to ask before gulping down water.
Kyungsoo looks at him with a calculative gaze that’s kind of out of place for a casual, dinner conversation. “We ran into each other yesterday,” He continues, rolling the pasta with his fork. “He works for the financial firm a few blocks away from our agency.”
Chanyeol chews and nods at the same time. The last time he saw Junmyeon was during college, when Junmyeon was known for being the vice president of the university’s student council. And weirdly, they met him through the Media Arts Organization, because Junmyeon apparently had this undying passion for acting, even though he was a Business major. Jongdae had this tiny, happy crush on him, but it was sad that they only saw him during their organization’s events and that Junmyeon was super straight.
Kyungsoo clears this throat and says “We had lunch together a while ago, and he’s taking me to dinner tomorrow.” Okay, so maybe Junmyeon isn’t super straight after all.
“Oh.” Chanyeol says dumbly. His hand stops spinning the fork he’s holding. “Well, uh, that’s nice.” He manages to get the words out of him.
Kyungsoo nods slowly, his eyes not leaving Chanyeol’s own. “So,” he slowly says. “Don’t wait up for me. Cook yourself a nice meal.”
Chanyeol snorts and replies “I’m not a kid, I can totally handle myself”, but there’s a heavy feeling settling in this chest, and Chanyeol just drinks more water to ease himself out of it.
- - -
The weeks pass by with Chanyeol arriving to a dark apartment, and with Kyungsoo peacefully sleeping in his own room. Chanyeol’s schedule becomes hectic, he heavily depends on coffee and energy drinks inside the editing studio to survive the post-processing of the last few episodes of the drama. He’d usually come home about once a week and sleep for a whole day, then pack up some fresh clothes before returning to the post-processing studio. With the shooting of the drama finally ending, its footage and materials for the last few episodes are handed over to the studio. Everyone becomes extra meticulous, and just a bit more passionate about its quality. Chanyeol gets sick of the drama’s soundtrack after hearing the tracks repeat over and over again for three days straight. He cringes every time an official soundtrack plays on the bus on his way to work.
While Chanyeol’s locked inside the editing studio and is on the verge of dying over the perfection of the drama’s finale, Kyungsoo’s probably having lunch or dinner with Junmyeon around Gangnam. Chanyeol goes grocery shopping at 10PM, and hoards all the bottled lattes on sale even if they all seem to taste extra bitter in his mouth recently.
- - -
Chanyeol comes home at 3AM, legs feeling weak and wobbly from the lack of sleep. He tries to stifle a cough as he closes the door, careful not to wake Kyungsoo up who’s most probably sleeping at this hour. On the last day of editing, Chanyeol finds himself coughing more roughly, his throat hurting a bit too much. On top of it all, he has a runny nose and a very persistent headache that doesn’t leave him for even a minute. Some teenagers from his bus ride home were looking at him funny, since he practically coughed non-stop during the 40-minute ride. Chanyeol thought he’d never make it out alive, but he still pushes through to arrive at the flat in one piece. Now that he’s fulfilled his mission of surviving a bus ride and getting home alive, this is how he’s going to die. He’s going to pass out in his own flat with the drama’s soundtrack on loop in his mind and he’ll never wake up ever again. He’ll be stuck with the happy beats and the instrumentals forever. Although in reality, he probably won’t die and would just probably sob from the fatigue.
Throwing his backpack on the couch, and not bothering to turn on the lights, he walks to the kitchen with dragging feet. His mind is in a haze as he takes the pouch of medicine from the cupboard. The amount of different pills and tablets hurt his brain even more but he luckily finds the one for headaches after a few minutes of squinting at the tiny labels on their packaging. Just when he’s about to get his water bottle from the fridge, he sees an obnoxious neon green post it with his name on it on the cover of a tiny porcelain pot.
There is a message written in Kyungsoo’s tiny handwriting below the very obnoxious FOR CHANYEOL heading. Chanyeol’s just staring down at the note after placing the said pot on their tiny dining table. He suddenly feels a bit better, despite not sleeping for more than three days. There’s this sudden urge to barge into Kyungsoo’s room and hug him tight. Chanyeol decides to just re-heat the pot of porridge instead of attacking a sleeping Kyungsoo at 3 in the morning. After gulping down the pills for the headache, Chanyeol reads the message while warming up his meal.
FOR CHANYEOL
Sorry I ate half of this. You haven’t been coming home lately and I’m assuming you’re sick from all the work you do. Yes, I can hear you coughing during ungodly hours of the night. Yes, I forgive you for waking me up with your loud coughs. You’re welcome for the porridge.
Chanyeol almost weeps. Kyungsoo is the best flatmate in the entire universe.
Chanyeol definitely told himself that he needs to sleep, but here he is on his phone, lurking on different social media sites at 4AM. With a happy and full tummy, thanks to Kyungsoo’s porridge, he’s currently waiting for his food coma to wear off as he stays glued to his seat. He scrolls past a cat video that Jongdae shared and stops when he sees Kyungsoo’s comments.
Do Kyungsoo Jongdae, that’s you.
Do Kyungsoo Also, get off Facebook and get back to your name studies. Please.
Chanyeol snorts out loud. Then he suddenly finds himself on Kyungsoo’s profile, scrolling through the recent posts. It’s been almost a month since Chanyeol’s super busy schedule, one whole month of coming home to a sleeping Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol feels like he’s missing out on Kyungsoo’s life. His profile isn’t of much help, since Kyungsoo has never been a social media person to begin with. There’s a post from Baekhyun that says “I MISS U MY SQUISHY” on Kyungsoo’s profile, along with a gif of a waddling penguin, two days ago. Chanyeol finds a smile on his lips as a yawn escapes his mouth. He scrolls past tagged photos of Kyungsoo, most of them from Jongdae’s posts. He sees a group photo, with Kyungsoo smiling in the middle of the group as he holds a tiny trophy. One of their ad campaigns must have won an award. The smile on Chanyeol’s face isn’t wearing off, but he feels the energy in him leaving him. The last thing Chanyeol sees on Kyungsoo’s profile is a photo of him and Junmyeon in some fancy restaurant. The caption reads: Celebratory dinner!
Chanyeol falls asleep, his head on the dining table, right next to his phone.
He feels like shit the moment he wakes up. His back hurts, and there’s this numbing pain in his legs. Chanyeol scrunches his nose at himself as the realization hits him that he actually fell asleep on the dining table. Well, this is new, he usually passes out on either the couch or the rug.
“Oh, you’re awake,” Kyungsoo’s voice comes from the bathroom. “Finally.” He adds, his voice competing with the sound of a hairdryer.
“Thanks for the porridge!” Chanyeol yells, his voice husky from sleep. He stands up, and stretches. His bones crack, but he sort of feels better, if not for the headache that’s creeping up yet again.
Kyungsoo steps out of the bathroom, clad in his favorite pair of jeans and a pastel shirt. It feels sort of refreshing for the eyes, since Kyungsoo just usually wears black all the damn time. “Please sleep in your own bed if you actually want to get better.” He reprimands Chanyeol, his brows furrowing with worry.
Chanyeol purses his lips and nods sleepily. His eyes land on the digital clock by the living room. 8:28AM. “What day is it?” He asks, because he’s not sure if he lost track of time and slept through a whole day in his problematic position. If he did, then he probably needs a massage. And a shower, definitely, because he’s been wearing his outfit for how many days now.
“It’s Saturday.” Kyungsoo answers him, tying his shoes by the doorway.
Chanyeol sighs, feeling relieved that he didn’t sleep through a day. He only slept for around four hours, and he definitely needs more than that.
“I’m having breakfast with-” Kyungsoo starts, but is interrupted by the chime of their doorbell.
Chanyeol moves to get it, but Kyungsoo’s already opening the door when he walks closer. Chanyeol sees Junmyeon, dressed in an equally bright shade as Kyungsoo. There it is again, the something that twists in Chanyeol’s stomach.
“Hey, you ready?” Junmyeon asks Kyungsoo with a smile and with eyes that practically sparkle. Said sparkling eyes suddenly move their gaze to a very unkempt Chanyeol, and Junmyeon looks surprised. “Chanyeol! It’s been years!” Junmyeon basically leaps over, letting himself inside the apartment, to hug Chanyeol.
Chanyeol awkwardly hugs back, and he has to crouch down a bit since he’s towering over Junmyeon. Junmyeon smells like expensive fabric conditioner and Chanyeol probably smells so bad since he hasn’t showered yet. He feels extra awkward because Junmyeon’s patting his back a bit too hard and Chanyeol can feel a disgusting cough about to come out from his mouth and spread germs on his flatmate’s date.
They finally break the hug that seemed to last ages for Chanyeol. “It’s so nice to see you again!” Chanyeol says as enthusiastically as possible, but his nasal voice betrays him and makes him sound as sick and unhealthy as ever.
“I’ll be back in the afternoon, Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo tells him, already halfway out the door. “Let’s go.” He gives Junmyeon a small smile.
“Let’s catch up, soon.” Junmyeon tells him, giving him another set of pat on the backs, before following Kyungsoo and exiting the apartment.
Chanyeol heaves a sigh. He drags himself to his room, his eyes feeling heavy and his limbs too tired. It’s only 8:30AM but Chanyeol’s already had a long day.
Chanyeol dreams of Junmyeon. It’s absurd and vague, with Junmyeon laughing at him against a background of a very dramatic thunderstorm, paired with the background music that they’ve been using specifically for the scenes of the drama’s main antagonist. There’s a mix of angry violins and pianos ringing in Chanyeol’s head when he suddenly wakes up. He stares and blinks at the white ceiling of his bedroom for a few seconds, before erasing the image of Junmyeon and his Evil Laugh.
The glow of the sunset is filtered through the curtains of Chanyeol’s window, and it basically tells him to get up from his bed because he’s been sleeping all day. He sits up, the heaviness still not leaving his body. About to get off his bed and walk to kitchen, he pauses on his way as a bowl of sliced fruits on his desk catches his eyes. There’s a glass of water right next to it, along with medicine that Kyungsoo probably bought for him on his way home from his date. How would Chanyeol even survive without Kyungsoo? If there’s a Best Flatmate Of All Time Award, Kyungsoo deserves it. Chanyeol will give that award to Kyungsoo and he will parade his best flatmate ever around their apartment, even around the famous stone tombs of Seokchon-dong just near their place, and maybe even around Gangnam so that everyone in his studio and Kyungsoo’s agency would know that Kyungsoo is just the best.
“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol yells with a nasal and rough voice. He pads forward, though a bit sluggish, and opens the door for Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo’s standing in front of him, wearing normal unsaturated, monotone clothes unlike the pastels he wore on his breakfast date with Junmyeon a while ago. He’s looking at Chanyeol with his wide eyes, and he’s about to squint at him any minute now because Chanyeol’s just blinking at him and not saying anything.
“What do you need?” Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him, his stance unfaltering even when Chanyeol takes a step closer.
“A hug.” Chanyeol croaks out with much effort. Another step, and he’s practically breathing into Kyungsoo’s personal space. He’s counting the seconds in his head, and waiting for a punch on his stomach or a slap on his arm. Chanyeol’s gaze traces Kyungsoo’s face, sees the twitch in his eyebrows, and the challenge in his eyes.
“No, thank you,” Kyungsoo flatly rejects him, but he doesn’t take a step back. “I’d rather stay healthy-”
Chanyeol envelopes the smaller guy into a really tight hug, and he can feel Kyungsoo squirming for about a few seconds before relaxing his body within Chanyeol’s grasp. “You’re the bestest best friend ever.” Chanyeol sniffs, resting his chin on top of Kyungsoo’s head and attempting to sway both of their bodies.
Kyungsoo groans, sending vibrations on Chanyeol’s collarbone. “Let me go.” He commands, voice muffled by fabric.
His arms loosen around Kyungsoo, but he doesn’t let him run away from him just yet. Chanyeol holds him by the shoulders, and leans his face closer to Kyungsoo’s own. Kyungsoo doesn’t even flinch, but Chanyeol feels a sharp, subtle inhale through the slight movement of his shoulders. “I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” Chanyeol promises, and he clears his throat since he can feel a cough coming.
Kyungsoo punches him in the stomach, not showing any mercy for the sick.
- - -
After a hundred reminders of “don’t forget to take your meds” by Kyungsoo, Chanyeol finally regains his health just in time for the viewing of the episodes. Chanyeol thanked Kyungsoo a thousand times during the time he was disgustingly sick. He’s finally healthy enough to not spread virus inside their editing studio. The post-processing studio where Chanyeol does his magic, along with the whole production team, isn’t that far from the advertising agency where Kyungsoo and Jongdae works. So Chanyeol nitpicks a few minor mistakes, nothing crucial for the drama’s airing, and quickly bolts out of the studio afterwards to get coffee for Kyungsoo. Because Kyungsoo took care of him over the weekend, and Chanyeol would probably still be dying right now if it weren’t for his flatmate.
to: kyungsoo
ARE YOU BUSY DON’T GET AFTERNOON COFFEE WITH JONGDAE I GOT U
Chanyeol texts Kyungsoo the moment he steps out of the bus. There’s a giddy and warm feeling spreading in his veins as he walks to the agency building, and the warmth spreads further when he sees a familiar mop of black hair by the entrance of the building. Kyungsoo’s idly standing by the glass doors, his brows furrowed and his attention on his phone.
Chanyeol quickens his pace and actually leaps towards Kyungsoo. “Hi! Were you waiting for me?” Chanyeol yells a bit too enthusiastically.
Kyungsoo flinches, snaps his head upwards to look at Chanyeol with a wide pair of eyes. “Are you trying to kill me with a fucking heart attack?” He spits out in semi-whisper, still loud enough for Chanyeol to hear and feel the sharp stab of his profanities.
His shoulders shake as he tries to keep his chuckles in, but Chanyeol still fails to do so in the end. He laughs, and he dodges a punch coming straight to his arm at the same time. “I bought you coffee.” He wheezes in between his laughter, his eyes never leaving Kyungsoo’s glaring ones.
In a matter of seconds, Kyungsoo’s gaze softens and focuses on the coffee carrier in Chanyeol’s grasp. “That’s sweet.” He mutters, and starts to retrieve his own cup of iced Americano from the cardboard holder.
Chanyeol carefully takes his own frappe from the carrier. “Well, this is just some sort of ‘thank you’ since you did take care of me-”
“I was talking about your chocolate frappe. That’s too sweet.” Kyungsoo interrupts and clarifies, reverting his gaze back to Chanyeol’s face.
The tips of Chanyeol’s ears are suddenly warmer than usual. “That’s too bitter.” He rebuts, scrunching his face at the dark drink in Kyungsoo’s hand. “But Jongdae did tell me that it keeps the both of you alive, so,” Chanyeol shrugs.
Kyungsoo’s lips curve into a smile while he takes a long sip. “Hey, I’ll go home in about four hours or so. You could wait for me inside the office if you want.” He offers, his gaze shyly leaving Chanyeol’s own. “If you’re not too busy.” He adds, head turning away from Chanyeol.
Chanyeol feels so proud of himself for finishing all his work at studio early. “I’d love to.” He answers with a grin.
Chanyeol spends a few hours in the agency, careful not to disturb other employees as he travels back and forth Jongdae’s and Kyungsoo’s workstations with his swivel chair. It takes a lot of Chanyeol’s willpower not to laugh hysterically at the set of funny videos Jongdae shows him. By the time Kyungsoo walks by Jongdae’s desk to hand him some printed job order forms, Chanyeol already has tears in his eyes from keeping his laughter in. Jongdae doesn’t let the day end without asking his officemate to take a picture of the three of them. Chanyeol stands in the middle, towering over both Jongdae and Kyungsoo, and slings his arms around their shoulders to pull them closer. Kyungsoo falls a bit out of balance, leans a bit too close, and something weird happens in Chanyeol’s chest for a second. And then the feeling’s gone too fast, and Chanyeol doesn’t let himself get distracted by Kyungsoo’s hand on his waist.
Jongdae picks the best one out of the set of the photos, and posts it online. It takes three seconds before Baekhyun comments “HOW DARE U GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS I’M REPORTING THIS PHOTO” along with a string of angry and crying emoticons. They all laugh at Baekhyun and annoy him further by liking the comment.
“This is totally random,” Jongdae says as they’re walking out of the building. It’s seven in the evening, and they’re all on their way home from a surprisingly calm day at the agency. “Do you guys want to give Baekhyun a surprise visit?” It’s been a while since the last time they’ve met up with Baekhyun - he is almost always locked up in the entertainment company’s building and is always vocal coaching different trainees. Though Jongdae does live nearby Baekhyun’s area and he can actually visit him anytime he wants to, it’s still hundred times better if the four of them are all together.
Chanyeol already has his mouth open, ready to put the spontaneous idea into action, when the sound of a car honking stops him from answering. Their attention gets caught by a blazing red car slowly coming to a halt in front of them.
“Right.” Jongdae exhales, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at him. “Boyfriend duties.” Jongdae groans and jumps away from Kyungsoo’s fingers pinching him on his sides.
The car window rolls down to reveal Junmyeon with an ever ready smile on his face. “Hi! How was work?” He greets all of them too brightly, eyes crinkling into crescents. He nods at Chanyeol, acknowledging his presence, and lets his gaze linger at Kyungsoo at bit longer.
Chanyeol and Kyungsoo arrive at their apartment - courtesy of Kim Junmyeon and his super safe, super slow driving. Chanyeol brings up tidbits of college memories he can remember and Junmyeon completes the missing details along the way. Kyungsoo almost reaches for Chanyeol’s neck in the backseat when Chanyeol talks about that time Kyungsoo wept at one of Media Arts’ plays. Throughout the one hour ride, Chanyeol keeps the question he’s been meaning to ask Kyungsoo and Junmyeon at the back of his throat. He doesn’t need to know how long this has been going on, doesn’t need to know when Junmyeon started to drive Kyungsoo home from work.
“Thanks for the lift home!” Chanyeol politely says before getting off the car.
“Anytime.” Junmyeon smiles and nods at him.
Chanyeol’s walking towards the gate of their apartment, a hand searching for his keys in the pocket of jeans. He successfully opens the lock, and cranes his head. He’s expecting to see Kyungsoo walking towards their flat and a red car driving away. He wasn’t expecting to see Junmyeon giving Kyungsoo a chaste, almost too innocent kiss on the lips after opening the car door for him. Chanyeol quickly turns his head away, and enters their apartment building. He doesn’t wait for Kyungsoo, speeds up the stairs to get to their floor, and hurriedly keys in the code to their flat.
The concoction of anxiety and disgust is back, and it’s boiling at the pit of his stomach. Chanyeol’s breathing heavily while trudging straight to his room, shutting the door behind him. It’s too dark inside his room, and inside their whole flat, since he didn’t even bother to switch on the main lights. Chanyeol reaches his hand to his side, and searches for the light switch. He switches the lights on. The sudden brightness reminds him of the dashing smile Junmyeon has on his face whenever he looks at Kyungsoo and the gleam in Kyungsoo’s eyes that Junmyeon gets to see all the damn time. Anger fumes within Chanyeol, subtly and slowly, and he pushes back the emotion because he can’t understand it. He hears the door to the flat opening, and lights being switched on in the living room. Chanyeol switches the lights off in his room, and maybe the image of Kyungsoo’s bright smile would go away.
Chanyeol’s lying face flat on his bed when he hears the door to his room open. After all the thrashing and rolling around his bed in hopes of releasing the emotional distress he’s been feeling lately, he’s too tired to actually turn over and face Kyungsoo.
There’s the sound of the light switch along with gentle footsteps. “Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo calls him. He moves Chanyeol’s feet slightly to the side so he could sit on the edge of the bed. “Thank you for the coffee.”
“Sure.” Chanyeol replies, voice muffled by his pillow. Chanyeol waits for Kyungsoo to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All he can hear is the sound of the clock ticking and the thumps of his weirdly paced heartbeat.
Kyungsoo exhales loudly.
Chanyeol flips over, and sits himself up in one quick movement. His eyes adjust to the brightness of his room and he just stares at Kyungsoo. They’re face to face now, and Chanyeol moves closer to Kyungsoo. He sets the distance, and pushes himself a bit closer than usual.
Kyungsoo’s hair is damp, and there’s a towel draping around his neck. He blinks at Chanyeol, lifts his eyebrows at him without saying a thing.
It’s kind of intimidating, as if Kyungsoo’s challenging him to confess all his deepest, darkest secrets with a single raise of his eyebrows. Chanyeol finds his mouth gaping open, but the no words come out. He closes it again, and he’s a fish out of water - out in the open, exposed in sunlight, and barely surviving.
Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrow, and Chanyeol can hear the question even if Kyungsoo doesn’t say it. What’s wrong? Kyungsoo probably means to ask, with the way he’s looking at Chanyeol.
“Nothing.” Chanyeol answers. “Good night.” He says, shifting to get under the covers once again.
Kyungsoo stares at him until he has turned away, his back now facing Kyungsoo. “Good night.” Kyungsoo replies as he switches the lights off.
- - -
“Oh my god, it’s been years.” Baekhyun yells as he flops down on the couch next to Jongdae, already feeling very comfortable inside Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s flat.
“It’s only been months.” Jongdae corrects him, his attention on his phone, and whines when Baekhyun suddenly leans all of his weight against him.
“Baekhyun just probably missed us too much.” Chanyeol screams from the kitchen. He’s currently reaching the stack of flyers on top of their fridge - the ones Kyungsoo can never reach, even if he tiptoes - to look for the phone number of the pizza place. Every now and then, Baekhyun and Jongdae would crash into their apartment just to watch a movie or even marathon a series with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo for a whole day. Sometimes they get too emotional at the end of every film, and after a week or so, Kyungsoo would have to tell everyone to just shut up about it for a second in their group chat. Sometimes they don’t even watch what’s playing on the TV and would end up having heated (and hilarious) arguments about the smallest things.
“Chanyeol, hold on, you don’t need to order-” Jongdae starts, eyeing the pizza flyer in Chanyeol’s hand as the taller guy makes his way to the phone in the living room.
“Kyungsoo said that Junmyeon’s buying pizza.” Baekhyun announces, grinning at him and waggling his eyebrows at him. He fidgets as he lies down on the couch, occupying the entirety of the piece of furniture and resting his thighs on Jongdae’s lap.
“Oh,” Chanyeol stops in his tracks, and blinks. “He’s joining us?” He asks even if the answer’s already crystal clear.
“Apparently, yeah.” Jongdae answers and shrugs, still busy with his phone.
Over the years, Chanyeol has never even brought any of his past girlfriends to their Weekend Marathons. One does not simply bring the person they’re dating to these kind of events. Sometimes - well, most of the time - everything just gets so crazy even with only just the four of them, and none of them would surely want to see their other half see them in their lowest point in life. Unless, they’re in a really serious relationship. If Kyungsoo’s letting Junmyeon tag along, then their relationship must be kind of serious after all. And Chanyeol’s okay with that, he has to be okay with that. He folds the flyer he’s holding and tries to ignore the persistent and weird feeling in his chest.
Kyungsoo and Junmyeon arrive not long after, carrying three large boxes of pizza and just the right amount of soju bottles to turn Baekhyun into a mess within an hour. Chanyeol and Jongdae offer their praises to Junmyeon’s wealth and power to buy loads of food before claiming a box of pizza just for themselves.
“This sort of feels like a college reunion.” Junmyeon comments before Kyungsoo plays the movie, sliding closer to fit himself next to Kyungsoo on the large, single seater couch. Jongdae hums in agreement and fidgets in the space between Baekhyun and Chanyeol.
Chanyeol doesn’t pay attention to the zombie movie they’re watching and gets so distracted with the way Kyungsoo comfortably leans against Junmyeon. Something twists in his stomach every time Kyungsoo would lean in to whisper in Junmyeon’s ear, probably commenting about the movie. It’s weird because Chanyeol doesn’t feel it when Kyungsoo would fondly chuckle at Baekhyun’s screams whenever a surprising gore scene comes up on screen, but he feels it with the slightest attention or subtle touch Kyungsoo would give Junmyeon. They’re not even past the fifteen mark of the movie, and Chanyeol’s already opening a bottle soju to cleanse all the unnecessary emotions he’s been feeling.
It’s 10PM, and Chanyeol’s face hurts from laughing too much over Kyungsoo and Jongdae’s heated argument. They were talking about zombie apocalypse scenarios not too long ago, but they suddenly steered into a topic about the repetitive formula of the sports animes Kyungsoo would always watch. No one even knows how it transitioned, but no one can call off the debate that’s going nowhere - except maybe for Baekhyun’s abrupt drunk stripping session.
Every single one of them stops whatever they’re doing to pull him down from the coffee table when he starts ripping off his shirt. Junmyeon almost tackles him, his face showing how panicked he is. Jongdae makes Baekhyun sit on the sofa and asks him to behave.
Kyungsoo crouches in front of Baekhyun so that they’re face to face. “Baekhyun, where do you live?” Kyungsoo tests him, an eyebrow raising as he waits for a proper response.
“Bucheon!” Baekhyun answers instantly and giggles while scratching his cheek. His other hand’s still holding his second soju bottle of the night, and it’s ridiculous how much of a lightweight Baekhyun is.
Kyungsoo flits his gaze from Jongdae to Chanyeol alternatively, a tired expression looming over his face.
“Well,” Jongdae exhales. “That’s it for today.” He purses his lips into a tight smile and politely bows to everyone before pulling Baekhyun by his arm.
“Can he go home safely?” Junmyeon worriedly asks, his hands are on his hips and his forehead creasing.
“Nope,” Chanyeol answers while walking to the coat hanger by the doorway to get his hoodie. “He’s really gonna end up in Bucheon if we let him catch a cab by himself. We’ll make sure he gets home, in Seoul.”
“I ended up in Bucheon with him one time, let’s not forget that tragic night.” Jongdae adds, dragging an unsteady Baekhyun towards the doorway. “I still don’t know why the cab driver listen to him instead of me.” He whines.
“Lock him up in his unit,” Kyungsoo says coldly, stretching his arms as he sits on the couch. “So he won’t go anywhere else.”
Chanyeol glances at Junmyeon’s horrified expression and he chuckles. “I’ll be back in a few.” Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo as he says goodbye, hurriedly squeezing through a stumbling Baekhyun and a pacifying Jongdae to get out of the flat.
“We’ll get going!” Jongdae yells, an arm around Baekhyun shoulders as he drags the giggly boy. “We had a great time, see you all soon!” Jongdae continues to scream even when they’re out in the hallway.
The elevator in the apartment is painfully slow. They could take the stairs, but they really don’t want to risk a drunk Baekhyun falling off a stairwell. Jongdae reasons out that it would be perfect blackmail material if they catch it on video, but their friend’s life and safety always comes first.
Chanyeol’s hands frantically search the pocket of his jeans, and the pockets of his hoodie.
Jongdae’s looking at him with an agitated expression while he holds onto Baekhyun’s arm, just in case he decides to run into the streets. “Chanyeol, don’t-”
“I forgot my car keys.” Chanyeol tells him, his eyes large and apologetic.
An exhale escapes Jongdae’s mouth.
“Wait for me by my car.”
Jongdae whines. Baekhyun slaps him on face in an attempt to shush him. “Too noisy!” Baekhyun faux-whispers, palming Jongdae’s face while clinging closer.
Chanyeol leaps through the steps of the stairs as fast as he can. It’s such a hassle for him to forget his keys, and he feels so sorry for leaving Jongdae alone with an almost uncontrollable Baekhyun in the parking lot. He hurriedly unlocks their door with the code, and he freezes when he enters the flat.
Junmyeon’s backed up on the wall, and Kyungsoo’s about to go in for a kiss. The hair on top of their heads are a crazy mess and their shirts are in each other’s fists - and it doesn’t even take Chanyeol a second to guess what’s happening. Junmyeon has raw panic in his eyes, and Kyungsoo backs away from him upon noticing Chanyeol inside their flat.
Chanyeol wills himself to actually move and just get the goddamn keys. His face is heating up, and his steps are shaky. The intense combination of anger and shock and anxiety is spreading through his entire body, overpowering the secondhand embarrassment he initially felt.
“Sorry, carry on.” He croaks out with a rough voice, and walks to the shelf by their living room to retrieve his car keys. Chanyeol tries to hide his face by keeping his head down, letting strands of his hair fall over his avoidant eyes.
Chanyeol doesn’t mean to, but he closes the door with extra force on his way out. He’s speeding through the hallway while he tries to shut down the images that his mind keeps on unhelpfully replaying for him. Chanyeol doesn’t want a flashback of what just happened, nor does he want to see the flush on Kyungsoo’s cheeks and the heat in his gaze as he looks at Junmyeon. He blinks out the image of Kyungsoo’s parted lips merely an inch away from Junmyeon’s own. Chanyeol doesn’t want to hear an angry symphony of violins but his brain betrays him and fuels his emotions even more.
“Are you alright?” Jongdae asks right away as Chanyeol strides towards them.
Chanyeol breathes in, and breathes out slowly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He manages to answer, even with the annoying lump on his throat. He unlocks the car and Jongdae doesn’t pry any further, giving him an understanding look before guiding Baekhyun to the backseat.
He hates it when the stoplight turns red, because it gives him time to think. Chanyeol really doesn’t want to do a lot of thinking while driving, mainly because drama protagonists get into an accident and forget everything - even the love of their life - when they think too much while driving. Chanyeol doesn’t want his life to suddenly turn into a melodrama.
Everything is actually alright, everything is okay. Chanyeol taps his fingers on the steering wheel, convincing himself that he doesn’t feel like shit. He tries to go back to that moment just a few minutes ago, when he was filming Jongdae and Baekhyun outside Baekhyun’s unit. Without context, it’s just a video of Jongdae feeling up Baekhyun who looks surprisingly pleased at Jongdae’s invasive hands. In reality, Jongdae was just looking for Baekhyun’s keys because the intoxicated guy wouldn’t cooperate.
The GPS tells him that he has about ten minutes before he arrives at their flat. He gulps. His mind’s suddenly coming up with a dozen theories as he drives home. Maybe Chanyeol just saw everything without context. Maybe in reality, they weren’t making out. Maybe Chanyeol is just overreacting. Maybe Chanyeol is so mad at Junmyeo-
He hits the brakes. The red stoplight hurts his eyes and it’s probably the reason why his eyes feel so watery all of a sudden.
Chanyeol enters the flat to see Kyungsoo cleaning up their living room. He’s busy rearranging the throw pillows on the couch, and Chanyeol quickly walks to his room. He doesn’t shut the door to his room, doesn’t block out a possible chance of Kyungsoo explaining everything to him. It’s not what you think, Kyungsoo would probably barge in any second now and clear things up.
But Kyungsoo doesn’t explain anything, doesn’t barge into Chanyeol’s room to clear things up. All he says is a simple “Good night” to Chanyeol before heading straight to his own room. Maybe it is what it is after all - with or without context, with or without an explanation, Chanyeol still feels like someone just stomped on his chest. He closes the door to his room before sleeping.
- - -
(part two)