(no subject)

Sep 26, 2010 21:25

 This is one of those moments where I to keep this holed up and buried inside me, but at the same time I just need it to be out there on the off chance that someone, somewhere, might find it and I won't share this....whatever this is alone.

My Godfather died on friday night.

I haven't seen him for years and I regret it deeply.

I'm just at a complete loss for words. I thought I'd need to write things out and mull things over in my brain but there's just nothing. It's like someone turned off all my thoughts and now there's static.

My heart physically aches.

With every inch of my being, I wish I could be going to his funeral but I can't. I can't miss three days of class and I can't afford a last-minute plan ticket home and I hate that. I hate that I feel so useless right now. I feel like I need to be doing something but I'm 400+ miles away and I know there's nothing I could do if I was any closer.

I just wish I could have been a better Goddaughter and kept in touch and been around them more often.

I just wish things were different. 
Previous post
Up