School girl giggles
My Aunt Janet passed away this week after a short but fatal battle with cancer. The day before she left this earth I sent a huge bouquet of pretty pink flowers in hope to brighten a dark and deary hospital room.
For the past 10 years I found it hatd to be around her. Going to be brutally honest. She was a drunk and the effects of drinking showed. It was displayed in her looks and speech. I didn't want to be around that type of lifestyle. I sit here and wonder was I too harsh?
I know she endured many many horrendous happenings in life. Her dad was an abuser physically and to the drink as well. Boyfriends beat her. Her daughter passed. Her hubby died young. She had been raped. She never recieved any formal education passed grade eight. Maybe just maybe I should have cut her some slack.
I can be self righteous at times. Judgemental. May I even say lack compassion at times.
Her dealth made me realize this more than ever.
Aunt Janet. You in my younger years had style. You didn't have any money and you were on welfare but you still had a look of class. Your closet was the first ome I raided. I remember a pretty floral dress I tried on and one that looked like a 20's style flapper dress. You gave me my first pair of heels. They were black patent pumps. I felt like such an adult in them. You made me warm milk when I couldn't sleep when you babysat me.
You loved having a good time. You were an amazing cook. Mom has nothing on you!
You were at every Orange parade and we spent lots of time in Brechin.
You gave me a ton of compliments. I know now you were trying to boost my self esteem. You could tell from experience it was needed.
Aunt J. You showed with very little you could be content. I don't judge you for being in need of an escape. Though who cares how I feel about that anyways. Who am I.
Well I am someone that cared for you. Didn't show it enough. I am someone that knows your heart was full of hurt but never hurt another.
Most of all I am someone who is praying for you. For you to find more than contentment and complacency. I pray you have eternal love.
Please Aunt Janet if you do. I believe you will. See Grandpa. Give him a hug and a kiss for us down here.
Love Always;
Your mourning niece.
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