Like Ghosts in the Snow (2/2)
Title: Like Ghosts in the Snow (2/2)
Sequel to: Now Take My Hand and We Will Run Away
Author: Stacey; quirky_anecdote
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat
POV: Third.
Summary: -he wakes up from a dream that’s been haunting him since that night in the summer. He can hear Jack’s laugh, feel dark strands of hair between his fingers, a slick heated chest pressed against his own. His breath hitches, before he’s flopping back down on his mattress and breathing out slowly.
Disclaimer: This is totally fake. Promise.
Title Cred. to: Vampires Will Never Hurt You - My Chemical Romance
Author's Notes: I finished this while listening to WATIC. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could tell which song was playing when I wrote the end, haha.
Posted alltimeslash & alltimeboners
Part One
Like Ghosts in the Snow - Part Two
He’s not sure why he does it, but Alex spends the whole day and then the next sat down in the cold by the lake, dressed more appropriately for the winter weather, coat and hat and scarf helping to beat the chill, it’s still bitterly cold, but he just stays curled up on a rock in front of the lake, eyes wondering across the frozen ice.
He sighs, glancing away towards the opening of the trees, it’s snowing lightly, but there’s no one around, which is odd, Alex at least expected people to be playing in the field, building snowmen and throwing snowballs, but there’s not a sound, not even a whisper on the wind.
Glancing back to the lake, he frowns, the water seeming to ripple underneath the ice, white clouds of bubbles hitting the almost clear sheet. And then he hears it, and he doesn’t know how on earth it is even possible, or what is even happening, all he knows is that his heart stops dead as a dull pounding echoes throughout the trees, seemingly coming from underneath the surface of the water. He stands up, moves forward slowly, eyes impossibly wide and heart kicking into gear to beat so fast it has him panting on the spot because, even though Alex tells himself it’s not possible, it looks as though, something, is hitting the ice from underneath, something suspiciously fist like. As soon as he reaches the edge of the lake, the noise ceases, the bubbles stop and everything returns to being quiet, eerily quiet.
Alex doesn’t know how it happens, but suddenly there’s a crack and a splash and all he knows is it’s just too cold, it hurts, feels like he’s being stabbed repeatedly with the thin blade of a knife, and he can’t breathe, he can’t catch his breath and when he does, it’s just freezing cold wet flooding his lungs. He blinks his eyes open, heart sinking and racing all at once as the water blurs his vision, he can’t move, and if he does, he’s too disorientated to even find the cracked ice he fell through.
It could be the ice cold, or the shock but Alex is pretty sure it’s the freezing water flooding his lungs that causes his eyesight to fuzz and fade to black, blurring in and clouding over and the last thing that registers in the burning heat of something curling and clasping around his wrist.
-
He feels cold and warm all at once, tired and dragged down. Am I dead? is the only thought that flitters through his mind, everything feels foggy, but then with a click it’s all too loud, and he can feel a burning heat against him, a mantra of words. “-ex, Alex, please, c’mon, I’m so sorry, God, I should have come, I-I, please don’t.” His body convulses, and he’s spitting up cold water, choking and gasping to drag that much needed air into his lungs. “Alex! Oh Jesus, are you okay? Are you cold? You must be cold.”
It’s Jack, and he’s panicking holding Alex close to his body and pressing his hot fingers to Alex’s wet cheeks, muttering and cursing, shaking despite how very warm he feels. “I-I’ll get you warmed up,” he murmurs, unzipping Alex’s coat to then pull him flush against his chest. Alex feels so exhausted, so tired, he presses his face into the crook of the dark haired boys neck, just a slight movement, feeling Jack’s hand come up to cup the back of his head, all warm and comforting and like a saviour and slowly Alex slips into a deep sleep.
When he wakes, he’s warm, still pressed against Jack’s chest, he relishes in the almost scalding warmth, before pulling back slightly, just enough to look at Jack’s face. The dark haired boy’s eyes widen, dropping down instantly to look at Alex, searching his face for any signs of pain, or anything that could possibly be wrong. “You,” Alex starts, voice no more than a croak. He clears his throat, tries again, “you saved me.” Jack nods, bringing a hand up to push drying curling bangs from Alex’s eyes.
“It was my fault, I’m so sorry, it was all my fault, I shouldn’t have-I just- seeing you, I just couldn’t- and- oh God Alex,” he gasps out, he sniffs, pressing his nose into Alex’s hair and trying to level himself.
Alex shakes his head, pulling back completely to really look at Jack, eyebrows furrowing, shaking his head as Jack tries to pull him back. “I don’t- how is this your fault? You saved me, I would have died otherwise.”
It’s Jack’s turn to shake his head and he looks so miserable and upset that it spikes at Alex’s heart. “ It was, Alex, I can’t explain, it’s just-”
“Try, please try, I-I really care about you, and I just want to help,” Alex states, voice pleading and he reaches his hands forward to grip at Jack’s jacket. It’s the same jacket he’s always been in every time Alex has seen him, the same shirt, same jeans and shoes.
“You wouldn’t understand, you wouldn’t believe me,” he mutters, biting at his bottom lip as his eyes glaze over. Alex cups his face, palms warming immediately on contact. “Please tell me, I’ll believe you, I promise,” he whispers, heart crumpling as Jack makes a choked sound, tears threatening to spill over onto his cheeks at any second.
He sniffs, sucks in a breath as if pulling up courage from the atmosphere, but even so, when he speaks, his voice is merely a breathy whisper on the wind. “I’m dead.” Alex isn’t even sure he heard it, but then Jack shudders, tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. Alex is quick to wipe them from his skin, and the droplets are so hot, like drips of boiling water and it’s almost too warm for Alex to touch, but he perseveres, wiping the boys cheeks with his thumbs and fingers as his mind processes that information slowly.
“How?” he eventually whispers, and Jack’s wide brown eyes shoot up to meet Alex’s, shock clearly displayed across his irises as Alex just continues the action of his fingers and thumbs.
“It- it was summer break,” Jack starts, gulping down a lungful of bitterly cold air as the tears cease. Alex nods in encouragement. “I was just walking here, it’s always been my private spot, no one really comes here, doesn’t know it’s here. But some guys from school, they-” He stops, eyes glazing with a fresh dose of tears. This is obviously hard, which Alex would expect, Jack’s saying he’s dead, he’s about to explain how that happened, Alex would expect him to be breaking down at this point, but he isn’t. But then Alex would expect himself to be freaking out, but he’s not, he’s, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that this boy with his too hot skin, who just appears out of nowhere, acts like the bitterly cold doesn’t affect him one bit, is intriguing, and maybe crazy, because he can’t be dead, he just- Alex honestly doesn’t know, he just doesn’t. So for now, he’ll listen to what Jack has to say, because he’s in far too deep to just get up and leave.
He shifts closer, curling his arms around Jack’s waist as a comfort, Jack’s arms curling round his shoulders in response. “They must have seen me because they followed me here, I was- I was just the loser fag in school, these guys just hated me for no apparent reason, and- well, they just, they were teasing me, just messing around and somehow it just got too rough and the next thing I knew I was in the water and I couldn’t breathe, and I was so s-scared.”
Alex gulps, voice cracking slightly as he asks, “is that what I saw? I-in the water?” Jack nods, wipes his nose with his hand and pulls Alex even closer, like somehow Alex’s body against his own helps shield the pain caused by these memories.
“I got really upset, and when that happens, it just, it replays, I can see it happening right in front of me and it just hurts, I can feel the fear I felt the day it happened, feel the grip they had on me and the choking and- it’s just so nasty,” Jack breathes, staring out across the lake. He tilts his head, presses his nose into Alex’s hair and breathes.
“Are you,” Alex cuts himself off, voice barely heard as he says, “a ghost?” Jack just nods. “Can’t you m-move on?”
Shaking his head, Jack states, “if it was an accident, maybe, but since it was, caused by someone else, and because it was messy, I wasn’t able to cross, it’s like I’m tied to this damn place, every single day, this is all I see.”
“You were here all those times I visited?”
Jack nods solemnly. “I can only appear like this on the anniversary of my death, or in extreme weather conditions. I have to pull my energy from the atmosphere in order to manifest like this, I’m just kind of a ball of energy, that’s- that’s why I’m so warm.” Alex nods, bites his lip as he pulls back to look into Jack’s eyes and he looks so honest. But Alex isn’t sure, he’d love to believe there’s an afterlife, that the dead move on and their lives don’t just simply end, that there’s another pathway and journey after this one.
But then Jack continues, his eyes glazing over again, “I didn’t want you to get attached Alex, I was just so lonely that day, and the energy in the atmosphere from all the people up there meant I could move further from this spot, and you looked so lost, scared even, and it just reminded me of myself, and I just- I haven’t spoken to anyone in so long, I thought you’d forget about me the minute you left this place.” He sighs, dropping his eyes to the ground. He should never have spoken to Alex, he should have just sat here all by himself and left the other boy alone.
But Alex says four words that break Jack’s heart, because Alex is good, he knows that, he knows that Alex is just one of a kind and this is the reason he felt drawn to the other boy, Alex has a heart as true as can be.
“I could never forget,” Alex whispers, curling his palms around the sides of the boy’s neck, thumbs pressing at his jaw to encourage him to lift his head. He does, and Alex presses their foreheads together.
Jack sighs, closing his eyes and pulling Alex closer so he’s sitting right in his lap, straddling his thighs, as close as possible. “You have to, I can’t leave this place,” he replies quietly. He feels Alex shake his head, his thumbs, cold to the touch, stroking along Jack’s jawline.
“It’s a little too late for me to just forget,” he says, and he doesn’t care if Jack is crazy or really dead, all that matters is he’s here, and he’s holding Alex as close as possible, his chest moving as he breathes and maybe it’s not because he actually needs the oxygen, maybe it’s just a habit of a lifetime that keeps his chest moving.
Whatever it is, Alex knows that during every storm, every snowfall, he’s going to find himself here, and maybe one day the dull ache in his heart that he’ll never be able to pursue some form of relationship with the other boy will fade, and he’ll be able to just talk to the other boy as a form of solace, when he needs a shoulder to cry on. But until then, he’ll trudge up here just to steal a few kisses and embraces with the other boy.
He pulls back, and Jack doesn’t bother to argue with Alex any further, he can tell that the other boy is going to do what he wants regardless of his input. So instead of saying anything, he just gives a soft smile, reciprocating as Alex leans forward and presses their lips together soft.
And months and years down the line finds Alex huddled beneath the trees, back pressed to Jack’s chest as he natters on about everything and anything, about how he’s met this guy, Matthew, who’s a real gem, that they’ve been on a few dates already and it’s going great. And Jack listens and smiles and runs his fingers along Alex’s, curling their fingers together and pressing a kiss to the side of his head as he hums in acknowledgement, rain stomping down outside of their little area, a background noise to what Alex is saying.
Alex hasn’t given the whole ‘dead or crazy’ scenario another thought, because Jack is Jack, and that’s all there is to it, and when he twists round and hoists himself up onto his knees, adjusting their hands so their palms are pressed together, fingers pointing towards the sky before they interlock, he just watches the other boy, a soppy grin on his face, before he leans forwards, pressing his face to Jack’s neck and muttering, “you’re the best damn thing that ever happened to me.”
______
A/N so! how was that? the end was originally going to be sadder but I read this super sad fic and it literally broke my heart and made everything hurt and so I couldn’t bring myself to make this really sad. Also, I know ghosts are supposed to be cold, but I like to think (if ghosts even existed) that when it’s a loving presence they’d be warm.
Sequel to: Now Take My Hand and We Will Run Away
Author: Stacey; quirky_anecdote
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat
POV: Third.
Summary: -he wakes up from a dream that’s been haunting him since that night in the summer. He can hear Jack’s laugh, feel dark strands of hair between his fingers, a slick heated chest pressed against his own. His breath hitches, before he’s flopping back down on his mattress and breathing out slowly.
Disclaimer: This is totally fake. Promise.
Title Cred. to: Vampires Will Never Hurt You - My Chemical Romance
Author's Notes: I finished this while listening to WATIC. I wouldn’t be surprised if you could tell which song was playing when I wrote the end, haha.
Posted alltimeslash & alltimeboners
Part One
Like Ghosts in the Snow - Part Two
He’s not sure why he does it, but Alex spends the whole day and then the next sat down in the cold by the lake, dressed more appropriately for the winter weather, coat and hat and scarf helping to beat the chill, it’s still bitterly cold, but he just stays curled up on a rock in front of the lake, eyes wondering across the frozen ice.
He sighs, glancing away towards the opening of the trees, it’s snowing lightly, but there’s no one around, which is odd, Alex at least expected people to be playing in the field, building snowmen and throwing snowballs, but there’s not a sound, not even a whisper on the wind.
Glancing back to the lake, he frowns, the water seeming to ripple underneath the ice, white clouds of bubbles hitting the almost clear sheet. And then he hears it, and he doesn’t know how on earth it is even possible, or what is even happening, all he knows is that his heart stops dead as a dull pounding echoes throughout the trees, seemingly coming from underneath the surface of the water. He stands up, moves forward slowly, eyes impossibly wide and heart kicking into gear to beat so fast it has him panting on the spot because, even though Alex tells himself it’s not possible, it looks as though, something, is hitting the ice from underneath, something suspiciously fist like. As soon as he reaches the edge of the lake, the noise ceases, the bubbles stop and everything returns to being quiet, eerily quiet.
Alex doesn’t know how it happens, but suddenly there’s a crack and a splash and all he knows is it’s just too cold, it hurts, feels like he’s being stabbed repeatedly with the thin blade of a knife, and he can’t breathe, he can’t catch his breath and when he does, it’s just freezing cold wet flooding his lungs. He blinks his eyes open, heart sinking and racing all at once as the water blurs his vision, he can’t move, and if he does, he’s too disorientated to even find the cracked ice he fell through.
It could be the ice cold, or the shock but Alex is pretty sure it’s the freezing water flooding his lungs that causes his eyesight to fuzz and fade to black, blurring in and clouding over and the last thing that registers in the burning heat of something curling and clasping around his wrist.
-
He feels cold and warm all at once, tired and dragged down. Am I dead? is the only thought that flitters through his mind, everything feels foggy, but then with a click it’s all too loud, and he can feel a burning heat against him, a mantra of words. “-ex, Alex, please, c’mon, I’m so sorry, God, I should have come, I-I, please don’t.” His body convulses, and he’s spitting up cold water, choking and gasping to drag that much needed air into his lungs. “Alex! Oh Jesus, are you okay? Are you cold? You must be cold.”
It’s Jack, and he’s panicking holding Alex close to his body and pressing his hot fingers to Alex’s wet cheeks, muttering and cursing, shaking despite how very warm he feels. “I-I’ll get you warmed up,” he murmurs, unzipping Alex’s coat to then pull him flush against his chest. Alex feels so exhausted, so tired, he presses his face into the crook of the dark haired boys neck, just a slight movement, feeling Jack’s hand come up to cup the back of his head, all warm and comforting and like a saviour and slowly Alex slips into a deep sleep.
When he wakes, he’s warm, still pressed against Jack’s chest, he relishes in the almost scalding warmth, before pulling back slightly, just enough to look at Jack’s face. The dark haired boy’s eyes widen, dropping down instantly to look at Alex, searching his face for any signs of pain, or anything that could possibly be wrong. “You,” Alex starts, voice no more than a croak. He clears his throat, tries again, “you saved me.” Jack nods, bringing a hand up to push drying curling bangs from Alex’s eyes.
“It was my fault, I’m so sorry, it was all my fault, I shouldn’t have-I just- seeing you, I just couldn’t- and- oh God Alex,” he gasps out, he sniffs, pressing his nose into Alex’s hair and trying to level himself.
Alex shakes his head, pulling back completely to really look at Jack, eyebrows furrowing, shaking his head as Jack tries to pull him back. “I don’t- how is this your fault? You saved me, I would have died otherwise.”
It’s Jack’s turn to shake his head and he looks so miserable and upset that it spikes at Alex’s heart. “ It was, Alex, I can’t explain, it’s just-”
“Try, please try, I-I really care about you, and I just want to help,” Alex states, voice pleading and he reaches his hands forward to grip at Jack’s jacket. It’s the same jacket he’s always been in every time Alex has seen him, the same shirt, same jeans and shoes.
“You wouldn’t understand, you wouldn’t believe me,” he mutters, biting at his bottom lip as his eyes glaze over. Alex cups his face, palms warming immediately on contact. “Please tell me, I’ll believe you, I promise,” he whispers, heart crumpling as Jack makes a choked sound, tears threatening to spill over onto his cheeks at any second.
He sniffs, sucks in a breath as if pulling up courage from the atmosphere, but even so, when he speaks, his voice is merely a breathy whisper on the wind. “I’m dead.” Alex isn’t even sure he heard it, but then Jack shudders, tears spilling over and running down his cheeks. Alex is quick to wipe them from his skin, and the droplets are so hot, like drips of boiling water and it’s almost too warm for Alex to touch, but he perseveres, wiping the boys cheeks with his thumbs and fingers as his mind processes that information slowly.
“How?” he eventually whispers, and Jack’s wide brown eyes shoot up to meet Alex’s, shock clearly displayed across his irises as Alex just continues the action of his fingers and thumbs.
“It- it was summer break,” Jack starts, gulping down a lungful of bitterly cold air as the tears cease. Alex nods in encouragement. “I was just walking here, it’s always been my private spot, no one really comes here, doesn’t know it’s here. But some guys from school, they-” He stops, eyes glazing with a fresh dose of tears. This is obviously hard, which Alex would expect, Jack’s saying he’s dead, he’s about to explain how that happened, Alex would expect him to be breaking down at this point, but he isn’t. But then Alex would expect himself to be freaking out, but he’s not, he’s, he doesn’t know, all he knows is that this boy with his too hot skin, who just appears out of nowhere, acts like the bitterly cold doesn’t affect him one bit, is intriguing, and maybe crazy, because he can’t be dead, he just- Alex honestly doesn’t know, he just doesn’t. So for now, he’ll listen to what Jack has to say, because he’s in far too deep to just get up and leave.
He shifts closer, curling his arms around Jack’s waist as a comfort, Jack’s arms curling round his shoulders in response. “They must have seen me because they followed me here, I was- I was just the loser fag in school, these guys just hated me for no apparent reason, and- well, they just, they were teasing me, just messing around and somehow it just got too rough and the next thing I knew I was in the water and I couldn’t breathe, and I was so s-scared.”
Alex gulps, voice cracking slightly as he asks, “is that what I saw? I-in the water?” Jack nods, wipes his nose with his hand and pulls Alex even closer, like somehow Alex’s body against his own helps shield the pain caused by these memories.
“I got really upset, and when that happens, it just, it replays, I can see it happening right in front of me and it just hurts, I can feel the fear I felt the day it happened, feel the grip they had on me and the choking and- it’s just so nasty,” Jack breathes, staring out across the lake. He tilts his head, presses his nose into Alex’s hair and breathes.
“Are you,” Alex cuts himself off, voice barely heard as he says, “a ghost?” Jack just nods. “Can’t you m-move on?”
Shaking his head, Jack states, “if it was an accident, maybe, but since it was, caused by someone else, and because it was messy, I wasn’t able to cross, it’s like I’m tied to this damn place, every single day, this is all I see.”
“You were here all those times I visited?”
Jack nods solemnly. “I can only appear like this on the anniversary of my death, or in extreme weather conditions. I have to pull my energy from the atmosphere in order to manifest like this, I’m just kind of a ball of energy, that’s- that’s why I’m so warm.” Alex nods, bites his lip as he pulls back to look into Jack’s eyes and he looks so honest. But Alex isn’t sure, he’d love to believe there’s an afterlife, that the dead move on and their lives don’t just simply end, that there’s another pathway and journey after this one.
But then Jack continues, his eyes glazing over again, “I didn’t want you to get attached Alex, I was just so lonely that day, and the energy in the atmosphere from all the people up there meant I could move further from this spot, and you looked so lost, scared even, and it just reminded me of myself, and I just- I haven’t spoken to anyone in so long, I thought you’d forget about me the minute you left this place.” He sighs, dropping his eyes to the ground. He should never have spoken to Alex, he should have just sat here all by himself and left the other boy alone.
But Alex says four words that break Jack’s heart, because Alex is good, he knows that, he knows that Alex is just one of a kind and this is the reason he felt drawn to the other boy, Alex has a heart as true as can be.
“I could never forget,” Alex whispers, curling his palms around the sides of the boy’s neck, thumbs pressing at his jaw to encourage him to lift his head. He does, and Alex presses their foreheads together.
Jack sighs, closing his eyes and pulling Alex closer so he’s sitting right in his lap, straddling his thighs, as close as possible. “You have to, I can’t leave this place,” he replies quietly. He feels Alex shake his head, his thumbs, cold to the touch, stroking along Jack’s jawline.
“It’s a little too late for me to just forget,” he says, and he doesn’t care if Jack is crazy or really dead, all that matters is he’s here, and he’s holding Alex as close as possible, his chest moving as he breathes and maybe it’s not because he actually needs the oxygen, maybe it’s just a habit of a lifetime that keeps his chest moving.
Whatever it is, Alex knows that during every storm, every snowfall, he’s going to find himself here, and maybe one day the dull ache in his heart that he’ll never be able to pursue some form of relationship with the other boy will fade, and he’ll be able to just talk to the other boy as a form of solace, when he needs a shoulder to cry on. But until then, he’ll trudge up here just to steal a few kisses and embraces with the other boy.
He pulls back, and Jack doesn’t bother to argue with Alex any further, he can tell that the other boy is going to do what he wants regardless of his input. So instead of saying anything, he just gives a soft smile, reciprocating as Alex leans forward and presses their lips together soft.
And months and years down the line finds Alex huddled beneath the trees, back pressed to Jack’s chest as he natters on about everything and anything, about how he’s met this guy, Matthew, who’s a real gem, that they’ve been on a few dates already and it’s going great. And Jack listens and smiles and runs his fingers along Alex’s, curling their fingers together and pressing a kiss to the side of his head as he hums in acknowledgement, rain stomping down outside of their little area, a background noise to what Alex is saying.
Alex hasn’t given the whole ‘dead or crazy’ scenario another thought, because Jack is Jack, and that’s all there is to it, and when he twists round and hoists himself up onto his knees, adjusting their hands so their palms are pressed together, fingers pointing towards the sky before they interlock, he just watches the other boy, a soppy grin on his face, before he leans forwards, pressing his face to Jack’s neck and muttering, “you’re the best damn thing that ever happened to me.”
______
A/N so! how was that? the end was originally going to be sadder but I read this super sad fic and it literally broke my heart and made everything hurt and so I couldn’t bring myself to make this really sad. Also, I know ghosts are supposed to be cold, but I like to think (if ghosts even existed) that when it’s a loving presence they’d be warm.