(no subject)
Previous Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
Part seven, yay!
Eventually, they decided that they all had to go, simply because Sirius couldn't remember where the wands were, and Snape pointed out that if there was already someone in the house, they would need a cover.
They all Disapparated into the back yard (Snape looked rather covetously at some of the "weeds" that had been growing so wildly, and Remus wondered what sort of invasive-yet-precious plants were really growing there) and Regulus led them into the house.
They jumped at every little noise, expecting the remainder of the Dark Lord's servants to crawl out of the woodwork at any moment, but they made it up the staircase and into the back of the library without any problems--even Kreacher was nowhere to be found.
Regulus walked into the room and pointed to a wall. "Sirius, I need you to reach in there and get the wands."
"What?"
"It's a magicked wall--it's not really there. It won't let anybody but you in."
"Why me?"
"Because--" Regulus looked away. "Because you're the master of the house."
"What?"
"I'm undisowning you. The house is yours now."
"There's no way it's that easy--I'm not on the tapestry or anything--and is that even a word?--I mean--"
"Shut up and get the damn wands, Sirius!"
Sirius reached in, felt around, and brought his hand back with about five wands in it. He moved back downstairs, obviously upset and in a hurry to leave.
"Sirius?"
"I hate this place. Let's just fucking get out of here."
Once they were safely back at the shack, Sirius rounded on his brother. "You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about? I hate that place."
"But you need it. You needed somewhere to live, and I could give you that."
"How?"
"Last time I left... that was real, it was supposed to be forever. I updated the blood spells before I went. It's not mine anymore, it's yours."
"I won't let you leave," Sirius stated bluntly. "That's why we're doing this," he added softly, "so you don't have to worry anymore."
"We can do this," Regulus agreed reassuringly, "and I don't plan to leave again. But what's done is done, and that's your house now. Couldn't you feel it after I left? Wasn't there ever a moment when... maybe you couldn't get a drawer to close, and in your frustration you told it to close, and then it slid shut smoothly on the next try? Or maybe the tree wasn't mean to you anymore?"
"I wasn't there long enough to notice," Sirius replied pointedly. "I went looking for you pretty quickly."
Regulus looked a little ashamed. "Yeah, well... Are you ready to do the spell?"
"Don't Remus and Snape have to leave first?"
"I don't know, I've never done this before," Regulus replied, reaching for the wands.
"We do," Remus agreed, also reaching for wands in hopes that one would like him.
Three of the five wands would suffice for Remus, though a rather long mahogany seemed to like him in particular, which Regulus seemed rather startled by.
Sirius noticed the change in Regulus's expression. "Whose wand was that one?"
"I don't remember," Regulus lied. Sirius didn't prod him about it.
Remus handed his wand to Regulus, but Regulus wouldn't take it. "Let me try the spares, first."
Remus rolled his eyes and handed him the mahogany one first, since that's what was already in his other hand. When Regulus touched it, he let out a yell and let go quickly; the skin that had touched the wand was burned black.
"Guess not." Together, Remus and Snape got the hand mostly back to normal, while Remus resisted the urge to say 'I told you so.'
And then Remus stuck his own wand unceremoniously into Regulus's open hand.
"Remus--"
"No. You're using this one." It was the tone Remus had picked up in his time as a teacher--the one that brooked no argument.
Regulus shook his head. Gryffindors were stubborn, and they were low on time. He had little choice now. "Fine. Severus, Remus, would you please excuse us for a few minutes?"
"Of course," Remus replied amiably, and Snape made a sound of agreement.
"So," Regulus began, once the others had gone downstairs. "How does this work?"
Ten minutes later, Sirius joined the other two downstairs.
"Where's Regulus?" Snape asked immediately.
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "As his Secret-Keeper, I'm not sure I want to tell you that."
"Sirius--" Remus sighed, nibbling on a bit of leftover bread.
"I am serious. I don't trust you to know where he is, Snape, and I want you to stay the hell away from him."
Though Snape's mouth curled unpleasantly, he forced out, "Much as it pains me to say this, you may be correct, for once, though it would seem that the one would follow the other.”
Remus was surprised and upset. "What? Why? Severus, what have you done?"
"Might I remind you that the Dark Lord is an exceptionally skilled Legilimens?" Snape replied sharply.
"But--" Remus tried to interrupt, though Snape just spoke over his protests.
"If, say, he becomes aware of what has occurred, letting me in on the Secret could kill us all."
Sirius looked rather furious. "If you ever let him even come close to reading your mind about this, I'll rip your arms off with my bare hands."
"As amusing as that would be to watch, if I ever let Him come close to reading my mind, we shall all be dead before you get the chance."
"Well, what do we need to do to make sure that never happens, then?"
"Have I ever failed to do so before? Unlike some I could name, I have a certain sense of self-preservation."
"Your track record isn't enough here. And it's not YOUR preservation I'm worried about."
"Thus the reason I am refraining from simply taking the information I seek from you mind, even as we speak."
"So why even ask?"
"If you don't already understand, you never will."
"Well, fine then!" Sirius had put on a forced smile; it was not at all becoming, and quite frankly made him look every inch the madman he was rumoured to be. "Shall we, Remus?"
Sirius turned and started walking away without waiting for a reply, but Snape's voice haulted him anyway. "Give your brother my love," he said with a twisted smile.
Sirius ignored him.
Remus stood and extended his hand to Snape. "Owl me if you need anything, Severus."
"Of course," Snape replied, pointedly not taking the proffered hand, instead heading for the passage.
Well. I did what I could, Remus thought. Once Severus had shown himself out, Remus stumbled over to the couch--for the first time in more than an hour not trying to hide how exhausted he was--and flopped down.
"You okay?" Sirius asked concernedly, kneeling next to him in a flash.
"You're still here," Remus mumbled, face smooshed in a cushion.
"Course I am." Sirius replied softly, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Regulus is--"
A look of almost bliss broke on to Remus's face as he heard the location. "Thank you, Pads," he mumbled. "Hated not knowing."
"You ok, Moony?"
"Rough moon."
"Yeah." Sirius smoothed Remus's hair. Remus had been anguished about Regulus's failing health and eagerness to leave, and it had shown. "Yeah, it was."
"Mind if I go back to sleep?" Remus yawned, seeming to slump further into the sofa's worn cushions.
"C'mon, I'll help you upstairs."
"Won't take long, willit?"
"No, Moony," Sirius whispered, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his feet. "Won't take long."
Regulus carefully picked his way through the rubble and bracken of Godric's Hollow, where Sirius had left him, saying only, "We'll be back soon."
It was horrible.
Regulus picked up a board and pathetically tried to prop it up against another. "Reparo," he whispered.
The board fell back down.
Regulus reached down and picked it back up, uncovering something shiny--
He picked it up and dusted it off. It was a hair comb set with jewels that had forgotten their twinkle. She'd have worn this in her hair, pretty and sleek, and maybe he'd lean in and kiss the perfume off her neck and she'd laugh--
He dropped the comb as if it had burned his hand like the wand had earlier. It was just a piece of metal with some rocks, but it represented a life he hadn't fought to save, and--
--and he thought he was going to throw up all over this disgusting tangle of split, rotting boards and rubble.
I can't stay here. There's no way he wants to stay here.
Unfortunately, Regulus had no idea where Here was, in relation to London, or Grimmauld Place, or anything, really.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, Sirius," he mumbled under his breath, sitting down on a large rock and hiding his face in his hands.
He couldn't shake the image of the one-lustrous comb.
"God..." he choked. Evans hadn't been bad, she'd smelled like some cheap girly dusting powder and gum and she'd been rules and smiles and he really hadn't known her except that one time that she helped him in the hospital after--
I didn't think she probably deserved to die, if that's what she was like.
"Oh, God," Regulus moaned.
He brought his knees up to his chest, but no amount of curling in upon himself seemed to help. God, Sirius, get back soon!
"Regulus! What's--"
Regulus swerved around and looked up at his brother and Remus and covered his mouth with his hand, tried to hold in a sob, shove the emotion back down. His face was screwed up and bright red and teary-eyed with the effort.
"They're all dead," he choked, "even the house is dead, look at it!"
"Reg--"
"Please!" he gasped, heaving for air as he latched onto the front of Sirius' robes. "Let's--just go."
"He's having a panic attack," he heard Remus's voice say through the buzzing in his ears.
"Sirius, PLEASE!" he begged.
"Shh..." Sirius finally soothed, rubbing Reg's back comfortingly. "Shh..."
I had no idea it was this bad-- Remus thought distractedly, though he wasn't sure if he was talking about the state of ruin or Regulus' state of mind.
“Sirius, I'm sorry," Regulus babbled, clinging to Sirius's shirt. "I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorry..."
"Shh, 'sokay..." Sirius repeated, holding his brother tight.
"It's my fault, I should have--" Regulus shuddered.
"Sirius," Remus murmured worriedly, "Maybe we should take him somewhere else...?"
"It's not your fault," Sirius firmly stated. "Is that really safe?" he asked Remus in a worried undertone.
"I didn't stop it--"
"We've got to do something. I know you wouldn't have taken him here without a plan--"
"I'm so sorry."
"--so...?"
"I figured no one would think to find him here," Sirius admitted, still speaking over Reg's shoulder even as he pulled him closer.
"Ok... well... how do we at least turn this into somewhere we can sleep?"
"I didn't realize... I should have known it wouldn't have been..."
"Let's--let's just go back to the Shack for now, okay?"
Sirius looked down at Regulus. "Well... I guess the Secret is where he is, and as long as I know, nobody else can, even if it changes, unless I tell them--right?" Had to make sure this was still safe.
Remus nodded.
"Let's go, then."
Sirius Apparated Regulus back to the Shack, then went back to Godric's Hollow to officially tell Remus where Regulus was, then they returned together.
By that time, Regulus had curled up on the bed, and the other two decided they couldn’t do much more for the night, and crawled in next to him.
As the only one of the three to have free roam in the wizarding world, Remus did a little research, and confirmed that a Secret may indeed be safely moved as long as the Secret-Keeper was the one to do the moving. In theory, Regulus would be safe in the Shack, Grimmauld Place, or wherever Sirius took him, because nobody Sirius hadn't told would be able to "find" him even if they were looking in the right place. The spell would weakened, however, if somebody other than the Secret-Keeper (such as Remus) knew where the Secret was, and then the Secret was moved--thus it was in their best interest not to move Regulus around. (Sirius checked the charm to "make sure it felt secure" to cover their move from Godric's Hollow to the Shack.)
A few weeks into the hiding, Remus went to get some food and supplies. He hadn't been out for more than a few minutes when an owl brought him a note from Severus, asking to see him right away.
Sirius would have ignored the owl, but Remus valued Snape's opinions, and only dawdled the slightest bit.
When Snape answered the knock at his chamber, Remus smelled it instantly.
"Wolfsbane."
Snape let him in and shut the door.
"I thought you might like to be able to stay with Regulus during the moon this month."
"Thank you!"
"Don't thank me yet. If you accept it, it comes with a price."
Oh, Merlin. "What kind of price?" Remus was relatively sure he wasn't going to like this.
"You have Black tell me where he is."
"No." Remus didn't even consider his answer first.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "No?"
"You were right, before. There's too much at risk, if Voldemort searches your mind."
A brief staring contest, and then Remus looked away.
But he didn't back down.
Unfortunately, neither did Snape (which resulted in a long, unpleasant silence, after which Remus left abruptly, and without the Wolfsbane).
"Every month, then," Snape called after him, and Remus winced. Snape knew exactly which buttons to push. "For six months." And how not to overdo it.
Remus was unable to move for a moment.
"Or would you rather take Black with you to keep you safe for your transformation, but leave Regulus alone?" An exaggerated thoughtful pause. "How do you suppose he would do, anyway?"
It hurt, but Remus conceded a curt, "I'll think about it."
Snape smiled unpleasantly. "Your first dose will be ready tomorrow night."
“Well?” Snape asked the next afternoon, goblet in hand.
“No.” Better to leave him alone.
Precisely how will it help Regulus to leave him on his own for a night? Do you really trust him to his own devices?”
“He’s not stupid,” Remus stated sharply, ignoring the fact that Severus had just plucked the thought out of his mind.
“He’s probably the most self-destructive wizard alive,” Snape reminded him.
Remus didn’t have an answer for that. Snape smirked nastily, then held out the goblet to Remus, who took it, but didn’t drink right away. He knew Snape wasn’t stupid enough to let him have it without a commitment.
“When can I expect Black?”
Remus looked almost wistfully at the potion, then slowly set it on the desk. “Don’t expect him at all. I’ll leave him with Regulus and go on my own.”
“Do you think that’s wise, Lupin?”
“It’s for the best.”
“Is it best for the people who’ll be around?”
“If you cared for them that much, you’d just give me the potion out of the goodness of your heart.”
“You’re a fool.”
“Comes with loving Reg, I think-as you’re well aware.”
“Shut up.”
“I don’t fault you for it, Severus. He’s a remarkably easy person to love-always has been.” With that, Remus turned and left.
Regulus woke the next morning to find that both Remus and Sirius had already gotten up (which was rather unusual; his nightmares usually woke him long before the sun came up). He panicked for a moment, but then remembered it was the three days before the full moon, and realized that Remus was just getting restless.
After stretching languidly, he got up to go downstairs, but stopped himself at the top of the staircase, catching snatches of muttered conversation.
"--wants to use Grimmauld Place for the Order--"
"--safe to move him?"
"--can't leave him--"
Oh, fuck. This didn't sound good. He strained to hear more.
"--redo the spell?"
"--him there? --don't trust anybody else enough--"
"--tell them no--"
"--have to do what we can--Harry--"
"Of course."
There was a lull in the conversation (or maybe they had just moved), and Regulus strode down the stairs as loudly as possible.
"Morning," Remus greeted, while Sirius blew a raspberry on Regulus's neck on his way psat.
"What happened? Doesn't sound good."
"Noth--" Sirius started to mumble, but Remus cut him off.
"Nothing new," he interrupted. "Severus is trying to blackmail me," he stated, calm as only Remus could be.
"What? Why?"
Sirius looked furious--obviously, Remus had been waiting to share this news until the pair of them were together and he could tell them at the same time.
"He wants to know where you are. He wants me to get Sirius to tell him."
"Well, I'm not going to, so Snivellus can go fuck himself," Sirius snarled.
"What's he threatening you with?" Regulus asked curiously.
"Wolfsbane," Remus said softly.
"That's that--that potion that you said makes you safe during the Moon, right?"
"That bastard! How dare he--"
"I've told him I'll think about it," Remus finished, frowning.
Sirius was at a loss, clearly not wanting to give his brother's whereabouts, but also not wanting to deny Remus the potion.
Regulus looked thoughtful. "I trust him, I think--he got out too, right? And we know where he is... we've got just as much dirt on him as he does on me, I don't think he knows about the locket..."
"I don't know," Sirius finally admitted sullenly.
"I don't think he'd intentionally do anything to hurt you, but if there's a chance Voldemort might find out anyway... well. Us all getting killed can't be worth it," Remus said.
"But what about you?"
"What about me? I'll--I've done it without the potion before."
"But you shouldn't have to. We'll find a way to make it work... hell, I wasn't so bad at potions, I bet I could--"
"It's an extremely difficult potion--only a handful have mastered it--and we'd never be able to get some of the ingredients without the right connections, anyway. And, well--you're fifteen years out of practice, Reg," Remus said, not unkindly.
Remus sighed. "Look, what it comes down to, is do you want him to know, Reg? Forget about me for a second."
Regulus looked surprised at the question. "That's really not my decision, is it? This is your safety, and Sirius's. I'm really not the reason we're doing all this hiding, it's really about keeping the pair of you safe since you're around me."
"Well," Remus sounded a bit waspish. "I know Sirius doesn't trust Severus, and I'm really not sure about him myself, honestly."
"Ok, that settles that," Sirius said. "We'll just have to figure out another way to get you that potion."
"But if it's that complicated, where else are we going to get it from?"
"Can we pay somebody to make it? Everybody knows Remus is a werewolf now, right?"
"No one likes to deal with a werewolf, Reg," Remus stated dryly. "It'd cost me three times as much--occupational hazards, and such."
"We can pay 'em off, everybody has their price," Regulus argued. "I've got plenty of money."
"I don't like the thought of 'paying somebody off' to make this sort of thing," Sirius growled. "We get the wrong person--some fucking prejudiced shitface who lies about being able to make it, and Remus could die. Hell, we get the wrong person messing with this, and they could kill him with it whether they can brew it right or not."
Reg frowned. I should have realized that...
He felt ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok. We're used to thinking about these things, and you're still getting used to it," Remus replied.
"Ok, maybe we can find something else Snape wants, and bribe him with that."
Sirius barked a laugh at that. "What could we possibly give him, that would equal his long-lost lover?"
Regulus looked as stunned as if Sirius had just hit him. "He just wanted to know where I was, he didn't ask you to whore me over to him," he protested, then looked over at Remus. "Did he?"
Sirius waved a hand, as if the actual wording was just a formality. Remus glared at him, but gave up after a few moments.
"He didn't--he didn't give that impression, did he?" Regulus couldn't believe that Snape would be so brazen with Remus--not after being told Remus was sleeping with Regulus. Severus had been much more subtle, at school.
"I must admit, I don't know Severus particularly well," Remus stated carefully. "Certainly not as well as you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm meeting him again tonight."
"Ok--well--we'll figure out something by then that we can offer him. He likes--let me think a second--"
"He already knows what he wants," Remus stated delicately.
"No--there's gotta be something else, I'm going to get you this potion," Regulus said determinedly, and Remus suddenly realized that Regulus had never wanted anything for him that he wasn't able to provide. "How about... potions ingredients. There's some rare stuff growing behind Grimmauld Place, and there's plenty of it--it's pretty much wild there, now."
"I think he already knows about that," Remus replied doubtfully.
"Well, it can't hurt, can it?"
Sirius didn't look convinced, but offered, "Well, he knows about it, sure, but he can't just go there, the wards would have him blocked. He certainly can't TAKE anything without permission--I think that tree would kill him if he tried.”
Reg smirked. "He has a point," he wheedled. "Let me do this for you, Remus."
Remus sighed. "I don't think it will, but we can try. YOU, though, need to stay here--I'm not willing to risk weakening The Charm over this. Sirius and I can collect samples of what's at Grimmauld, and I'll take it to Severus tonight."
Reg pouted a little, but agreed; the other two Disapparated soon after, and he made himself a sandwich from the supplies Remus had brought back.
"I don't like it," Sirius said as soon as they arrived at Grimmauld. "Snape's willing to play games with our safety--all of our safety, including Reg's, even though he'd have us believe that he CARES about Reg--but he knows what's at stake here, he knows what could happen."
"I'd just as soon go without," Remus confessed, eyeing the tree nervously before starting to pick his way through the outskirts of the garden.
"If there's a way we can get you that potion--safely--then we will," Sirius said, grabbing a handful of weeds that he hoped Snape might want for something.
"What are we going to do about Grimmauld Place and Regulus?"
"I'm not sure if the charm's strong enough to be moved again," Remus pointed out doubtfully. "At this point, I'm beginning to wonder if we'd be better off just casting the charm again. And those are dandelions, by the way."
"Oh." Sirius only remembered that Lily liked those, and figured they must have been good for potions because that had been her thing. Stupid useless flowers. He dropped the small bouquet and grabbed a handful of something else.
"Though I'm sure Regulus would think it very sweet if you brought those home to him."
"Shut up."
"It was only a suggestion," Remus smiled mildly, inspecting a diseased-looking sort of purplish vine making its way up the back wall of the manor.
"Can we trust the Order to know about Reg if we move him, though? Last time..."
"Were you going to tell them?" Remus seemed a bit surprised.
"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "Maybe I won't take him back, maybe I'll try to hide him away in one room... Gotta keep him away from Snape, Moony, I don't trust him..."
"I know," Remus replied gravely, now conjuring a basket and using his wand to clip some of the purplish vine, careful not to touch it.
"Should we--I dunno--tell him, and then recast the charm?" Sirius asked thoughtfully, prodding the now-scattered dandelions with the toe of his boot.
"I don't want to tell him a damn thing," Remus grounded out, and only afterward wondered how pouty and insolent that might have sounded.
"Neither do I!" Sirius protested, as if Remus had accused him of saying otherwise. "D'you reckon these little orangey bits are good for anything?"
"He's in love with Regulus," Remus blurted.
Sirius snorted derisively. "If that git's ever been in love with anyone, I'll dance around the square naked, acting like a squirrel."
"You're lucky I won't hold you to that," Remus quipped, "or you'd have to start stripping."
Sirius paused. "He can't be really... surely it's just the idea of..."
"I don't know," Remus sighed. "Don't touch those, you'll have a rash for a month," he warned, gesturing toward the small orange buds Sirius was about to pick. "Even if it's just the idea, Severus is really serious about it."
"Mine," Sirius muttered under his breath--Remus had heard him murmur the same thing in bed--then he shook his head and said, "err--I mean--Regulus. Is. Ah. Regulus is ours. Snape can't have him, I've told him as much..."
"I'm not telling you I think you should hand him over," Remus stated, mildly irritated as he began to harvest some odd grayish leaves growing on the base of the large tree. "That's why we're here, isn't it?"
Sirius grabbed Remus's wrist. "I'm not trying to--I don't mind sharing him with you," he said urgently. "I just--Snape can't have him, is all. Ours. Regulus is ours."
Remus vaguely wondered if Sirius had always been this possessive. He carefully agreed, “Yes. Reg is ours.”
“I’m not telling Snivellus.”
“Alright.”
“And he can just go fuck himself, if he doesn’t like it.”
“Okay.”
Sirius yanked at weeds and herbs alike with aggressive vigor (though that may have just been because, as an indifferent potioneer, he may not have cared enough to distinguish between them).
“Sirius-”
“What?”
“That stuff’s awful on the skin. Go wash your hands, quickly-before it starts to burn.”
“Oh. Erm. Thanks.”
Sirius looked at the house-which had somehow contrived to look even more menacing than the last time they’d been there-hesitantly. He really, REALLY did not want to go inside again. “Um…Shack, I guess? Wanna come with…?
“I need to get a few more of these herbs,” Remus pointed out. “I’ll be along shortly-if you don’t go now, though, you’re going to start swelling up.”
Sirius looked at his hand mistrustfully. He’d have offered to bring Remus back some gardening gloves, but wasn’t really sure wherehe’d get any, so he just nodded and Apparated back to the Shack with a pop.
Regulus had arranged himself across the sofa in an almost artful sprawl, Sirius noted, and appeared to be taking a nap, with the remains of his breakfast-sandwich still in his hand.
Sirius ducked his head into the kitchen, keeping his grin to himself as he discarded the herbs (weeds?) he’d pulled and then washed his hands well. He returned to the couch and quietly sneeaked up on Regulus, studying him in sleep for a minute before pouncing on him and ticklinghim mercilessly. Reg jerked awake, cursing loudly and trying to shove Sirius off him (he was failing miserably).
When he’d finally called uncle, Regulus was completely pinned down by Sirius.
Sirius surprise-quizzed his brother: “When you and Remus first met, did you only want to make me angry?”
“What the hell are you on about, Sirius?” Reg laughed, still smiling from the tickling and closeness, and it was such a delightful sight that Sirius almost kissed him instead of asking again (almost).
“You were shagging back in school, weren’t you?” Sirius pressed, unusually shrewd, though he nuzzled into Reg’s neck as he said it.
“Sort of,” Reg said with a shrug. “I was still in, but he’d graudated. Why’re you asking now? Where is he, anyway?”
“Picking herbs for Snivellus,” Sirius shrugged unconcernedly, ignoring the first part of the question and snuggling in closer.
“Why aren’t you helping him?” Regulus asked in a teasing voice. “Did the tree chuck you out of the yard?”
“No-Moony told me to come back here and wash my hands, so I wouldn’t swell up,” Sirius explained in a mumble, licking the part of Regulus closest to his mouth, whichturned out to be his ear.
“That tickles,” giggled Regulus.
“Good, you need to be tickled, you prat.”
“Looks like you’re swelling up anyway-”
“That’s a horrible joke, much too obvious-”
“As if your cock digging into my thigh isn’t obvious,” Reg snorted, pinching Sirius’ arse.
“Oh, shut up, you like it.”
“Always have,” Regulus agreed flirtatiously, and Sirius kissed him to shut him up. Mine.
“Black, what in the world are you doing?” came Snape’s coldest, most disdainful tone over the back of the sofa.
Regulus clapped a hand over his own mouth to keep himself silent as Sirius swerved around, pulling his wand out.
“What do you want?” he snarled, pushing himself off the sofa without letting his wand move from Snape, whose eyes still rested on the sofa, obviously realizing-
--Remus popped into the room. “Severus!” His eyes darted to the couch, confirming Snape’s suspicions. “Is everything alright?”
“Regulus is on that sofa, I assume.” Snape’s voice had gotten, if that was possible, even colder.
Sirius didn’t say anything.
Regulus stumbled off the couch, then wondered if Snape could hear the loud thud he’d just made.
“Severus, why are you here?” Remus asked almost sternly, obviously keen to get him off the subject of Regulus.
Snape flicked his eyes back up to Remus. “What on earth potion are you trying to make with that, and who are you going to end up killing with it?”
“I was going to offer them to you as ingredients,” Remus stated. “So that tree wouldn’t murder you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m not telling you where Regulus is,” Sirius growled.
Regulus was, at that moment, creeping towards the doorway to the room, unsure of anything in the way of how much Snape might be able to see, or hear, or sense, but he knew one thing: Sirius’d kill him if he let himself be found out. He mentally scolded himself for not pressing them for details about why they distrusted Snape so, and wondered how much a Legilimens could find out about someone under the Fidelius Charm without the Secret-Keeper actually telling him anything, vaguely thinking that the topic would have made an interesting independent-study report, back in 7th year.
“You needn’t bother.” Snape commented dryly.
“Severus-I know some of this stuff is rare, and I’d like to arrange a trade. For the Wolfsbane.”
“I’ve already stated the terms of our agreement, Lupin,” Snape snapped testily. “Such mangled specimens are, at any rate, useless to me.”
“I can get you fresh ones,” Remus answered quickly. “Of we can dry these, or do preservation spells…”
“Lupin. The terms are non-negotiable.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Severus. We’re not willing to negotiate, either.”
Snape’s lip curled unpleasantly. “Fine, then!” he hissed. “Enjoy the moonlight, werewolf!”
“Stay the hell away from us, Snape,” Sirius warned him, “I don’t want any of us to see your greasy mug again.”
“Go chase your tail, mutt,” Snape snarled. He stormed out of the Shack, robes billowing theatrically behind him.
As soon as he was gone, Sirius rushed over and grabbed Regulus’ arm. “We’ve gotta go-need to redo the spell somewhere else…”
Grimmauld Place was much too quiet for Sirius' taste, these days.
Regulus didn't laugh as he had in the Shack, and his teasing was half-hearted. He slept badly at night, and just wanted to sleep during the day.
It wasn't like it had been before (Remus dryly suggested the difference was that the brothers weren't yelling at each other constantly now), and Sirius didn't really know how to snap Regulus out of his depression.
Eventually, he had an idea, however. Quietly, he brought Stubby's spare guitar into the bedroom, where Regulus was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Hey," he murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Hey," Reg replied stiffly.
"Would you--would you play for me?" Sirius asked uncomfortably, suddenly wondering if this was such a good idea after all, or if it would just make things worse...
Regulus looked at him with misty eyes, and Sirius wondered whether that was a good strong emotion, or a bad one. "What--what do you want me to play for you?" he asked, taking the guitar.
"Whatever you like," Sirius replied softly.
Regulus tuned the guitar, thinking. "Did Remus tell you which songs were about which of you, during the concert?"
Sirius simply replied, "No."
Regulus started strumming, and after a moment sang softly.
Sirius recognized one of the lines. "You talked about that song on your wireless interview."
Regulus's head snapped up, and he stopped playing. "How did you know about that?"
"Someone had the window open while Padfoot was having a look around," Sirius explained offhandedly, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. After a bit of consideration, he moved a bit closer to Reg, and softly asked, "Did you really write that one about me?”
"Yes. I even put the chorus in waltz-timing, because you always liked waltzes--I never thought you'd actually hear the song, though."
Sirius couldn't think of a single thing to say. Instead, he stroked the side of Regulus' face gently.
Regulus nuzzled Sirius's hand, and Sirius allowed himself a moment of regret that he'd been so difficult, caused so much pain, for his brother for most of their lives.
There were more pressing issues at hand, though.
"I need to talk to you about something," Sirius finally admitted.
Reg suddenly looked wary, though he didn't say anything right away.
"About the house," Sirius clarified.
"It feels horrible," Regulus blurted.
Sirius looked taken aback. "How do you mean?"
"I think I'm just... overly sensitive, these days... to the Dark Magic here. Y'know--now that He's back, and the Mark is awake, and all," he clarified, gesturing at his arm.
"Fuck," Sirius cursed under his breath. "D'you feel any more pain now, with your arm, or…?”
Regulus shook his head. "No, nothing like--physical. It just... feels... in my gut... just really... wrong. It..." he hesitated. "It makes me think about... just, bad thoughts. But no, my arm only hurts when He's calling them--it doesn't even itch the rest of the time."
Sirius gave him a warning, you'd better-tell-me look. "What kind of bad thoughts?"
Regulus shrugged.
"Reg."
"Well...it's almost like the dementors, really."
Sirius paled.
"Not nearly as strong, but--it doesn't want me to... be so useless. It wants me to... do things. Things that I don't want to do. It wants me to remember..." he shuddered, "it wants me to believe I was good at that stuff, that that's who I am, that now..."
"You're not," Sirius assured him quietly.
"I'm not like you, Sirius. I never was. I hate all of this now, but--I have it in me to be like them."
"Why would you want to be like me?" Sirius asked sharply, a single bark of a mirthless laugh spilling out of him.
"Because there's just no set of circumstances on earth that would have ever brought you to do the things that I did."
Isn't there? Sirius snorted his disbelief.
Regulus paused and frowned. "Wait--what did you need to tell me about the house...?"
Sirius sighed, as though he'd hoped he'd be able to skirt around it a bit longer. "Dumbledore wants to use it," he said flatly.
"To live--?"
"For his headquarters," Sirius elaborated.
"He wants to move the bloody school here?"
"Of course not," Sirius snapped impatiently. "For the Order."
"Sirius--what the hell are you talking about?"
"The Order of the Phoenix," Sirius explained, "the people who fought Voldemort last time." Regulus started at the name, but otherwise just looked thoughtful.
"I could help with that," he stated slowly.
"No." Sirius said it so firmly, he could have been talking to Snape.
"Well, why not? I'm good at research, and--"
"You're supposed to be dead, firstly, and secondly, you're in hiding." Sirius pointed out.
"Well, isn't that what the Fidelius Charm is for?"
"You're not going to be very useful to anybody if you stay in hiding, where you belong. And I'll never tell anybody where you are. So that settles it."
"Sirius," Regulus whined, dragging the name out. "I want to help!"
"I said no!" Sirius hadn't yelled at him in days, but dammit, the only person in the world he'd willingly trust with Regulus was Remus.
Reg threw himself back on the bed, reminiscent of a sulking child. "You don't have to tell them about me. I could still help," he muttered sullenly.
Sirius stood up. "Stop arguing," he snapped.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "You're right, Sirius--I wouldn't want to piss Him off, he might come after me or something. Look, have you bloody forgotten why the hell I'm not fucking out and about in the world? He's not going to want me to die any less, or suddenly decide to have mercy on me or something. I'm on His list no matter what I do, so I might as well do something useful."
"Snape would find out," Sirius snarled, the statement somehow turning into an accusation--it was the one thing he could find that ought to have ended the argument.
Regulus groaned and buried his face in a pillow. "Fuck, not this again, Sirius," he pleaded muffledly.
You started it! Sirius wanted to shout petulantly, but thought better of it, instead curling up next to Reg and his guitar, hoping it would end there.
He wrapped an arm around Regulus and kissed his shoulder. It was his job to keep Regulus safe, and he wasn't going to fail like he had last time (JamesohJames).
Regulus didn't respond much, sinking once again into relative listlessness.
Sirius tried not to think too much about how Regulus had said he felt unuseful or worthless, or whatever crap it was he had in his head this time. That was an affordable price, if the payoff was keeping him safe. Mine.
"So," he attempted cheerfulness, "will you play for me?"
"Don't wanna, Sirius," Regulus mumbled tiredly.
Sirius nudged closer, spooning him with as much contact as he could, and buried his face in his brother's back.
"Okay," he murmured agreeably, trying to carefully move the guitar out of the way, but Regulus wouldn't let go.
Sirius pulled away slightly, a bit stung. "Do you want Remus now, is that it?" Sometimes Regulus's obvious preferences for one of them over the other (which changed with his mood) made Sirius feel like a sulking schoolboy again. Why couldn't he just always want the both of them, as Sirius always wanted the pair of them?
"I just want to take a nap," Regulus sighed tiredly.
"Can I--can I stay?" It was asked in a manner that gave more than the suggestion that Sirius felt supremely awkward.
Regulus just shrugged. "If you want."
"You really know how to make a man feel wanted," Sirius muttered dryly, and kissed Regulus' hair a few times before trying to hold still so Regulus could sleep.
After a short while, however, he gave up, and began stroking Regulus' hair gently, staring at the wall, but not really seeing it.
Regulus' mood seemed to be catching, he decided.
Remus checked in on them after a little while, as it was rather unusual for the two to be alone together without making a bit of noise (though it varied from ranting to moaning).
As they were facing away from the door, however, and Sirius didn't say anything, Remus assumed they were both sleeping, and left without saying a word.
Sirius crowded Regulus, trying to get closer, trying to pull Regulus into him.
Regulus wriggled a bit, but didn't wake up, settling down once Sirius had him firmly tangled in various limbs and had stopped moving as well.
"Night Reg," he whispered.
Sirius imagined that Regulus' breathy little sigh meant he'd heard, and didn't mind.
Sirius Black greatly enjoyed snuggling in a warm bed, for four main reasons: because it felt the opposite of Azkaban; because Padfoot's affectionate doggy nature still influenced him in his human form; because he felt he was better at communicating love with his body than he was verbally; and because snuggling had a decent chance of evolving into even more fun things to do in bed. But he really couldn't sleep all day every day as Regulus seemed to want to, and he was rather sure that there were not going to be Other Fun Things with Regulus this afternoon, so after a while of enjoying the feeling of his brother safe in his arms and not showing any signs of nightmares, Sirius finally gave in to a bit of hunger and sneaked out of bed, heading downstairs.
Remus looked up from the letter he'd been writing. "How did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"The big talk with Regulus about the house and the Order."
Sirius sighed.
"That well?"
"He wants to help," Sirius began angrily, "But I'm not going to let him."
"You have to admit, he feels pretty damned useless right now," Remus reminded him gently. "Would it really be so--"
"Yes! I'm not letting him get himself caught!"
"What are we going to do, then, about Regulus hiding at Headquarters? Tell the Order a certain bedroom is off-limits and keep Regulus locked up like a boggart? Or do you intend to tell Dumbledore he can't use the house?"
"As long as we're careful, it shouldn't be--"
"How long do you really think we can get by with just 'being careful'? The Order's not stupid, someone'll figure it out eventually! And you know Snape has to be looking for him. Based on what happened with the couch at the Shack, he’ll probably find him, too.”
"We'll just have to be care--"
"Sirius! That's not enough!"
"It's safer than letting a dozen or more people know he's alive! Especially people who'd love to see him dead, people who blame him for the deaths of people they loved. And do you really think there won't be another spy this time? I don't trust anybody but you and him, and I don't trust him with anybody but you."
"So what are we going to do, then?" Remus snapped, though he appreciated the admittance that Sirius trusted him this time.
"I obviously don't have a fucking clue, so why don't you give me some better ideas than just telling the world where he is?"
"I can't tell the world where he is," Remus reminded him waspishly. "That's what the Charm's for, after all."
"Good. Now stop trying to get me to tell the world, or there's no point in having a charm." He thought about his options. "What if we tell Dumbledore that we'll let him use the house if he can find us a safe place for Reg to live?"
Remus made a small, noncommittal noise, obviously waiting for Sirius to let him in on whatever scheme he’d come up with.
"Wait--I've got it! I can't believe I didn't think of this before," Sirius said excitedly.
"Are you going to enlighten me, or am I supposed to guess?" Remus asked wearily, feeling rather like he was back at Hogwarts, trying to figure out what James and Sirius were up to now.
"The Room of Requirement." Sirius looked very pleased with himself. "We tell Dumbledore he can use the house if Regulus can stay in the Room of Requirement for the summer. He'll have whatever he needs, and none of the students will be around for months."
"And what's he going to do all summer? Twiddle his thumbs? I don't want to imprison him!"
"It'll keep him safe, won't it?"
"Not safe from himself, it won't!"
"We're going to have to do something about that. Whether he uses the Room or not. We can't keep babysitting him like this, we need to help him get better somehow..."
"So what are we going to do?"
"This house isn't doing him any good."
"Clearly."
"He said it feels like a dementor, makes him think 'bad things.'"
"Well, like calls to like, Dark or not, and that Mark is pretty significant... it probably felt invigorating, when he was on the other side. At least if it feels bad, that's a sign he's resisting it."
"Of course he's resisting it, that's not who he is. Anyway, the Room of Requirement would work. He wouldn't be locked up, he'd be able to have whatever he wants--a music room with lots of sunshine, or something."
"The Room can't make people, though," Remus pointed out logically. "And I don't think it's a good idea for him to be alone for that long."
"We can visit him!"
"Not really; it'd look pretty suspicious if I kept turning up at Hogwarts, since I don't teach there anymore, and you can't really go anywhere."
"Secret passages, Remus! Piece of cake! Besides, bollocks to how it looks, nobody's really there much in the summer."
"Snape's there."
"He won't find Reg in the Room unless I fucking tell him to look there, and exactly what to look for, right? But if you don't like it--fine. What's a better solution?"
"Well, for starts, maybe we should settle this with Reg, instead of making plans for him like he's a child."
"I--he's sleeping."
"He's always sleeping."
"I'm not waking him up."
"Sirius, being his Secret-Keeper doesn't mean you get to make all his choices for him."
"I'm not trying to make all his choices for him, I'm trying to keep him safe!"
"You're talking about cutting him off from human contact indefinitely!"
"He'd still see us, though--and that would be a right sight better place to stay than here."
"Will the pair of you shut up?"
Regulus was glaring at them. "Did either of you happen to remember--and I'm just curious, here--that I managed to hide myself for fifteen years, and not get killed?"
"Yeah, but--" Sirius left it there, apparently unable to come up with an appropriate 'but.'
Remus stayed silent.
"And have either of you noticed that I haven't been picking at the Mark since He's come back?"
Remus nodded, and Sirius gave a slightly sullen ‘yes.’
“Have either of you noticed that I like living with the two of you so much, I don’t want to pick just one of you?”
“Okay, that’s crap,” Sirius piped up. “You picked Remus. Twice.”
“I’d’ve picked you, too, if you’d stopped to give me the time of day.”
“I meant recently-with your little ‘run away with me into the Muggle world’ stints. And you know what else I noticed, Reg? Your little charade of trying to leave or give yourself up to Malfoy to be killed. Your self-preservation instincts are not exactly up to par these days.”
“I was trying to save your lives! Now that we've got this Charm in place, I thought--oh, I dunno--I'd give up fame and glory and riches so I could shag you at night or in the shower or after lunch or whenever, just because we're all THERE, and that's what living together is supposed to be like. So I'm curious, Sirius--what exactly do you want from me that you're not getting?"
Sirius spluttered indignantly. "I--you're not--you haven't gotten out of bed in days!" he stated, as though this explained everything.
"I'd have let you fuck me if you wanted, when have I said no?"
Remus interrupted them. "This isn’t about sex, it’s about keeping you safe, Regulus.”
“I’m safe with you! So why are you sending me away?”
“Because Dumbledore says he wants to use the house for the Order, and we can’t very well tell him no!”
“Why the hell not? You don’t think the most powerful wizard in the world couldn’t find a Plan B?”
“Because he saved my arse! I owe him!” Sirius snapped. He hated owing anyone.
“You’re so stubborn!”
“Do you really want to stay here?”
“I want to stay with you, you fucking twat, that’s all I ever wanted!”
“Look,” Remus finally broke in. “Shall we just-try it, for a few weeks?”
“I don’t care,” one brother said, while the other said, “fine.” They sort of glared at each other, and Remus threw up his hands. “Who wants sex?” he asked frustratedly, the way someone might announce that it was time for cake in an effort to distract quarreling children.
Sirius tried not to look too pleased; Regulus was startled into a small chuckle.
“Bed or couch?” Sirius asked at the same time Regulus said, “I call middle.”
“Bed,” Remus replied decisively, grabbing them by the wrists and pulling them up the staircase.
They went very willingly, and as soon as they reached the bedroom, Sirius grabbled Regulus and kissed him roughly. Reg moaned and reached for Remus.
Content to watch them kiss for the moment (it did mean, after all, that they weren’t arguing), Remus pressed up behind Reg, slipping arms around his waist and nuzzling against his neck.
Regulus sighed happily, dropping his head back on Remus’ shoulder (Sirius’ mouth followed, and he shifted his weight to lean over Reg) and moved his hands downward to gently shove Sirius toward the bed, then clutch at his back as Sirius nibbled at his ear.
Regulus climbed into the bed and let himself get lost in the feeling of hands and mouths, the sound of moans and whispers of fabric-he purposely lost track of which belonged to whom, and tried to stop thinking for a little while.
He finally opened his eyes when someone murmured his name loud enough to be trying to get his attention.
It turned out to be Remus (who had, at some point, switched places with Sirius).
Regulus smiled lazily and draped his legs around Remus, pulling him closer to trail his fingertips down Remus’ back and across his arse. “Do you remember the first time we fucked?” he whispered huskily.
“Yes,” Remus moaned, pushing back against his fingers.
"Tell me about it," Regulus urged, wondering if it would turn Sirius on, if it would make him need to shag even more. Regulus reached down and very slowly stroked Remus.
"We were--behind the school," Remus gasped, with a bit of difficulty. "Just after graduation--"
"Tell me what I did to you," Reg demanded silkily, over one of Sirius' groans.
Remus moaned, as well. "You--you sucked me off--and then--you fucked me."
"Like this?" Regulus murmured, leaning over to lick Remus. Sirius knelt behind Regulus and started wanking himself with slow movements.
"Fuck yes, just like that," Remus gasped, and Regulus rewarded him with his probing fingers.
"What was it like?" That from Sirius.
“Good.” Remus was a bit too incoherent for much else.
"No. More," Sirius insisted.
Regulus turned around and looked at him. "I wanted to fuck him until he stopped thinking about you," he said, then turned back to Remus. "Did it work?"
Remus (who hadn't registered what Reg'd said to Sirius) just panted heavily, with the occasional breathy 'please.'
Regulus groaned, remembering how he'd pleaded with Remus the whole time. "I'd forgotten about that."
"So good, Reg," Remus gasped.
Determined not to be ignored, Sirius nipped his brother's neck roughly, sliding a finger into him at the same time.
Regulus gasped and grasped Sirius's thigh, then composed himself slightly. "What was it like the first time you shagged Remus?"
"Quick," Sirius answered honestly, less than half his attention on the conversation.
"Who was doing what?" Regulus pushed, one hand still fingering Remus and the other moving over to help Sirius wank.
"I fucked him," Sirius grunted around a moan.
"When?"
"Beginning of fifth year."
"Why weren't you shagging me instead?"
"Reg! Shut up and fuck, or I'll kill you!"
"Touchy," he chuckled, all too coherent, Sirius decided, for him to be doing things properly.
Sirius lined himself up behind Regulus and, as a last-minute mercy, warned, “You wanna take your fingers out of Remus? Gonna be rough.”
“I’m-”
Too late.
Regulus hurriedly moved his hand to Remus's prick, trying to make it as good for him as he could. Sirius leaned over and whispered filthy things in Remus's ear as Remus came.
Remus watched languidly as, soon after that, Sirius followed suit.
Sirius started pulling at Regulus, determined to take him with.
After a couple of moments, Regulus came, too, and they just kind of collapsed into a tangle of sticky, sweaty limbs.
Regulus reached over and pulled Sirius to him, kissing his jaw. "Don't make me move out, Sirius, please don't."
"We'll talk about it," Sirius allowed, yawning.
"No." Regulus scratched at his shoulders. "We'll talk about it now."
"You want to stay." Remus stated. It was, in no way, a question.
"Not here, but with the two of you, yes."
"But where would we go?" Sirius asked, rather logically.
"Just come with me. Whatever special room you two were talking about earlier, just come with to live there. You don't have to live here at the house just because the phoenix-thing is here, do you?"
“He’s right, Sirius.”
“Okay. We can do that.” He grabbed an armful of whoever was closest. “I don’t like it here, either.”
Part seven, yay!
Eventually, they decided that they all had to go, simply because Sirius couldn't remember where the wands were, and Snape pointed out that if there was already someone in the house, they would need a cover.
They all Disapparated into the back yard (Snape looked rather covetously at some of the "weeds" that had been growing so wildly, and Remus wondered what sort of invasive-yet-precious plants were really growing there) and Regulus led them into the house.
They jumped at every little noise, expecting the remainder of the Dark Lord's servants to crawl out of the woodwork at any moment, but they made it up the staircase and into the back of the library without any problems--even Kreacher was nowhere to be found.
Regulus walked into the room and pointed to a wall. "Sirius, I need you to reach in there and get the wands."
"What?"
"It's a magicked wall--it's not really there. It won't let anybody but you in."
"Why me?"
"Because--" Regulus looked away. "Because you're the master of the house."
"What?"
"I'm undisowning you. The house is yours now."
"There's no way it's that easy--I'm not on the tapestry or anything--and is that even a word?--I mean--"
"Shut up and get the damn wands, Sirius!"
Sirius reached in, felt around, and brought his hand back with about five wands in it. He moved back downstairs, obviously upset and in a hurry to leave.
"Sirius?"
"I hate this place. Let's just fucking get out of here."
Once they were safely back at the shack, Sirius rounded on his brother. "You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about? I hate that place."
"But you need it. You needed somewhere to live, and I could give you that."
"How?"
"Last time I left... that was real, it was supposed to be forever. I updated the blood spells before I went. It's not mine anymore, it's yours."
"I won't let you leave," Sirius stated bluntly. "That's why we're doing this," he added softly, "so you don't have to worry anymore."
"We can do this," Regulus agreed reassuringly, "and I don't plan to leave again. But what's done is done, and that's your house now. Couldn't you feel it after I left? Wasn't there ever a moment when... maybe you couldn't get a drawer to close, and in your frustration you told it to close, and then it slid shut smoothly on the next try? Or maybe the tree wasn't mean to you anymore?"
"I wasn't there long enough to notice," Sirius replied pointedly. "I went looking for you pretty quickly."
Regulus looked a little ashamed. "Yeah, well... Are you ready to do the spell?"
"Don't Remus and Snape have to leave first?"
"I don't know, I've never done this before," Regulus replied, reaching for the wands.
"We do," Remus agreed, also reaching for wands in hopes that one would like him.
Three of the five wands would suffice for Remus, though a rather long mahogany seemed to like him in particular, which Regulus seemed rather startled by.
Sirius noticed the change in Regulus's expression. "Whose wand was that one?"
"I don't remember," Regulus lied. Sirius didn't prod him about it.
Remus handed his wand to Regulus, but Regulus wouldn't take it. "Let me try the spares, first."
Remus rolled his eyes and handed him the mahogany one first, since that's what was already in his other hand. When Regulus touched it, he let out a yell and let go quickly; the skin that had touched the wand was burned black.
"Guess not." Together, Remus and Snape got the hand mostly back to normal, while Remus resisted the urge to say 'I told you so.'
And then Remus stuck his own wand unceremoniously into Regulus's open hand.
"Remus--"
"No. You're using this one." It was the tone Remus had picked up in his time as a teacher--the one that brooked no argument.
Regulus shook his head. Gryffindors were stubborn, and they were low on time. He had little choice now. "Fine. Severus, Remus, would you please excuse us for a few minutes?"
"Of course," Remus replied amiably, and Snape made a sound of agreement.
"So," Regulus began, once the others had gone downstairs. "How does this work?"
Ten minutes later, Sirius joined the other two downstairs.
"Where's Regulus?" Snape asked immediately.
Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. "As his Secret-Keeper, I'm not sure I want to tell you that."
"Sirius--" Remus sighed, nibbling on a bit of leftover bread.
"I am serious. I don't trust you to know where he is, Snape, and I want you to stay the hell away from him."
Though Snape's mouth curled unpleasantly, he forced out, "Much as it pains me to say this, you may be correct, for once, though it would seem that the one would follow the other.”
Remus was surprised and upset. "What? Why? Severus, what have you done?"
"Might I remind you that the Dark Lord is an exceptionally skilled Legilimens?" Snape replied sharply.
"But--" Remus tried to interrupt, though Snape just spoke over his protests.
"If, say, he becomes aware of what has occurred, letting me in on the Secret could kill us all."
Sirius looked rather furious. "If you ever let him even come close to reading your mind about this, I'll rip your arms off with my bare hands."
"As amusing as that would be to watch, if I ever let Him come close to reading my mind, we shall all be dead before you get the chance."
"Well, what do we need to do to make sure that never happens, then?"
"Have I ever failed to do so before? Unlike some I could name, I have a certain sense of self-preservation."
"Your track record isn't enough here. And it's not YOUR preservation I'm worried about."
"Thus the reason I am refraining from simply taking the information I seek from you mind, even as we speak."
"So why even ask?"
"If you don't already understand, you never will."
"Well, fine then!" Sirius had put on a forced smile; it was not at all becoming, and quite frankly made him look every inch the madman he was rumoured to be. "Shall we, Remus?"
Sirius turned and started walking away without waiting for a reply, but Snape's voice haulted him anyway. "Give your brother my love," he said with a twisted smile.
Sirius ignored him.
Remus stood and extended his hand to Snape. "Owl me if you need anything, Severus."
"Of course," Snape replied, pointedly not taking the proffered hand, instead heading for the passage.
Well. I did what I could, Remus thought. Once Severus had shown himself out, Remus stumbled over to the couch--for the first time in more than an hour not trying to hide how exhausted he was--and flopped down.
"You okay?" Sirius asked concernedly, kneeling next to him in a flash.
"You're still here," Remus mumbled, face smooshed in a cushion.
"Course I am." Sirius replied softly, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "Regulus is--"
A look of almost bliss broke on to Remus's face as he heard the location. "Thank you, Pads," he mumbled. "Hated not knowing."
"You ok, Moony?"
"Rough moon."
"Yeah." Sirius smoothed Remus's hair. Remus had been anguished about Regulus's failing health and eagerness to leave, and it had shown. "Yeah, it was."
"Mind if I go back to sleep?" Remus yawned, seeming to slump further into the sofa's worn cushions.
"C'mon, I'll help you upstairs."
"Won't take long, willit?"
"No, Moony," Sirius whispered, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his feet. "Won't take long."
Regulus carefully picked his way through the rubble and bracken of Godric's Hollow, where Sirius had left him, saying only, "We'll be back soon."
It was horrible.
Regulus picked up a board and pathetically tried to prop it up against another. "Reparo," he whispered.
The board fell back down.
Regulus reached down and picked it back up, uncovering something shiny--
He picked it up and dusted it off. It was a hair comb set with jewels that had forgotten their twinkle. She'd have worn this in her hair, pretty and sleek, and maybe he'd lean in and kiss the perfume off her neck and she'd laugh--
He dropped the comb as if it had burned his hand like the wand had earlier. It was just a piece of metal with some rocks, but it represented a life he hadn't fought to save, and--
--and he thought he was going to throw up all over this disgusting tangle of split, rotting boards and rubble.
I can't stay here. There's no way he wants to stay here.
Unfortunately, Regulus had no idea where Here was, in relation to London, or Grimmauld Place, or anything, really.
"I'm going to fucking kill you, Sirius," he mumbled under his breath, sitting down on a large rock and hiding his face in his hands.
He couldn't shake the image of the one-lustrous comb.
"God..." he choked. Evans hadn't been bad, she'd smelled like some cheap girly dusting powder and gum and she'd been rules and smiles and he really hadn't known her except that one time that she helped him in the hospital after--
I didn't think she probably deserved to die, if that's what she was like.
"Oh, God," Regulus moaned.
He brought his knees up to his chest, but no amount of curling in upon himself seemed to help. God, Sirius, get back soon!
"Regulus! What's--"
Regulus swerved around and looked up at his brother and Remus and covered his mouth with his hand, tried to hold in a sob, shove the emotion back down. His face was screwed up and bright red and teary-eyed with the effort.
"They're all dead," he choked, "even the house is dead, look at it!"
"Reg--"
"Please!" he gasped, heaving for air as he latched onto the front of Sirius' robes. "Let's--just go."
"He's having a panic attack," he heard Remus's voice say through the buzzing in his ears.
"Sirius, PLEASE!" he begged.
"Shh..." Sirius finally soothed, rubbing Reg's back comfortingly. "Shh..."
I had no idea it was this bad-- Remus thought distractedly, though he wasn't sure if he was talking about the state of ruin or Regulus' state of mind.
“Sirius, I'm sorry," Regulus babbled, clinging to Sirius's shirt. "I'm sorryI'msorryI'msorry..."
"Shh, 'sokay..." Sirius repeated, holding his brother tight.
"It's my fault, I should have--" Regulus shuddered.
"Sirius," Remus murmured worriedly, "Maybe we should take him somewhere else...?"
"It's not your fault," Sirius firmly stated. "Is that really safe?" he asked Remus in a worried undertone.
"I didn't stop it--"
"We've got to do something. I know you wouldn't have taken him here without a plan--"
"I'm so sorry."
"--so...?"
"I figured no one would think to find him here," Sirius admitted, still speaking over Reg's shoulder even as he pulled him closer.
"Ok... well... how do we at least turn this into somewhere we can sleep?"
"I didn't realize... I should have known it wouldn't have been..."
"Let's--let's just go back to the Shack for now, okay?"
Sirius looked down at Regulus. "Well... I guess the Secret is where he is, and as long as I know, nobody else can, even if it changes, unless I tell them--right?" Had to make sure this was still safe.
Remus nodded.
"Let's go, then."
Sirius Apparated Regulus back to the Shack, then went back to Godric's Hollow to officially tell Remus where Regulus was, then they returned together.
By that time, Regulus had curled up on the bed, and the other two decided they couldn’t do much more for the night, and crawled in next to him.
As the only one of the three to have free roam in the wizarding world, Remus did a little research, and confirmed that a Secret may indeed be safely moved as long as the Secret-Keeper was the one to do the moving. In theory, Regulus would be safe in the Shack, Grimmauld Place, or wherever Sirius took him, because nobody Sirius hadn't told would be able to "find" him even if they were looking in the right place. The spell would weakened, however, if somebody other than the Secret-Keeper (such as Remus) knew where the Secret was, and then the Secret was moved--thus it was in their best interest not to move Regulus around. (Sirius checked the charm to "make sure it felt secure" to cover their move from Godric's Hollow to the Shack.)
A few weeks into the hiding, Remus went to get some food and supplies. He hadn't been out for more than a few minutes when an owl brought him a note from Severus, asking to see him right away.
Sirius would have ignored the owl, but Remus valued Snape's opinions, and only dawdled the slightest bit.
When Snape answered the knock at his chamber, Remus smelled it instantly.
"Wolfsbane."
Snape let him in and shut the door.
"I thought you might like to be able to stay with Regulus during the moon this month."
"Thank you!"
"Don't thank me yet. If you accept it, it comes with a price."
Oh, Merlin. "What kind of price?" Remus was relatively sure he wasn't going to like this.
"You have Black tell me where he is."
"No." Remus didn't even consider his answer first.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "No?"
"You were right, before. There's too much at risk, if Voldemort searches your mind."
A brief staring contest, and then Remus looked away.
But he didn't back down.
Unfortunately, neither did Snape (which resulted in a long, unpleasant silence, after which Remus left abruptly, and without the Wolfsbane).
"Every month, then," Snape called after him, and Remus winced. Snape knew exactly which buttons to push. "For six months." And how not to overdo it.
Remus was unable to move for a moment.
"Or would you rather take Black with you to keep you safe for your transformation, but leave Regulus alone?" An exaggerated thoughtful pause. "How do you suppose he would do, anyway?"
It hurt, but Remus conceded a curt, "I'll think about it."
Snape smiled unpleasantly. "Your first dose will be ready tomorrow night."
“Well?” Snape asked the next afternoon, goblet in hand.
“No.” Better to leave him alone.
Precisely how will it help Regulus to leave him on his own for a night? Do you really trust him to his own devices?”
“He’s not stupid,” Remus stated sharply, ignoring the fact that Severus had just plucked the thought out of his mind.
“He’s probably the most self-destructive wizard alive,” Snape reminded him.
Remus didn’t have an answer for that. Snape smirked nastily, then held out the goblet to Remus, who took it, but didn’t drink right away. He knew Snape wasn’t stupid enough to let him have it without a commitment.
“When can I expect Black?”
Remus looked almost wistfully at the potion, then slowly set it on the desk. “Don’t expect him at all. I’ll leave him with Regulus and go on my own.”
“Do you think that’s wise, Lupin?”
“It’s for the best.”
“Is it best for the people who’ll be around?”
“If you cared for them that much, you’d just give me the potion out of the goodness of your heart.”
“You’re a fool.”
“Comes with loving Reg, I think-as you’re well aware.”
“Shut up.”
“I don’t fault you for it, Severus. He’s a remarkably easy person to love-always has been.” With that, Remus turned and left.
Regulus woke the next morning to find that both Remus and Sirius had already gotten up (which was rather unusual; his nightmares usually woke him long before the sun came up). He panicked for a moment, but then remembered it was the three days before the full moon, and realized that Remus was just getting restless.
After stretching languidly, he got up to go downstairs, but stopped himself at the top of the staircase, catching snatches of muttered conversation.
"--wants to use Grimmauld Place for the Order--"
"--safe to move him?"
"--can't leave him--"
Oh, fuck. This didn't sound good. He strained to hear more.
"--redo the spell?"
"--him there? --don't trust anybody else enough--"
"--tell them no--"
"--have to do what we can--Harry--"
"Of course."
There was a lull in the conversation (or maybe they had just moved), and Regulus strode down the stairs as loudly as possible.
"Morning," Remus greeted, while Sirius blew a raspberry on Regulus's neck on his way psat.
"What happened? Doesn't sound good."
"Noth--" Sirius started to mumble, but Remus cut him off.
"Nothing new," he interrupted. "Severus is trying to blackmail me," he stated, calm as only Remus could be.
"What? Why?"
Sirius looked furious--obviously, Remus had been waiting to share this news until the pair of them were together and he could tell them at the same time.
"He wants to know where you are. He wants me to get Sirius to tell him."
"Well, I'm not going to, so Snivellus can go fuck himself," Sirius snarled.
"What's he threatening you with?" Regulus asked curiously.
"Wolfsbane," Remus said softly.
"That's that--that potion that you said makes you safe during the Moon, right?"
"That bastard! How dare he--"
"I've told him I'll think about it," Remus finished, frowning.
Sirius was at a loss, clearly not wanting to give his brother's whereabouts, but also not wanting to deny Remus the potion.
Regulus looked thoughtful. "I trust him, I think--he got out too, right? And we know where he is... we've got just as much dirt on him as he does on me, I don't think he knows about the locket..."
"I don't know," Sirius finally admitted sullenly.
"I don't think he'd intentionally do anything to hurt you, but if there's a chance Voldemort might find out anyway... well. Us all getting killed can't be worth it," Remus said.
"But what about you?"
"What about me? I'll--I've done it without the potion before."
"But you shouldn't have to. We'll find a way to make it work... hell, I wasn't so bad at potions, I bet I could--"
"It's an extremely difficult potion--only a handful have mastered it--and we'd never be able to get some of the ingredients without the right connections, anyway. And, well--you're fifteen years out of practice, Reg," Remus said, not unkindly.
Remus sighed. "Look, what it comes down to, is do you want him to know, Reg? Forget about me for a second."
Regulus looked surprised at the question. "That's really not my decision, is it? This is your safety, and Sirius's. I'm really not the reason we're doing all this hiding, it's really about keeping the pair of you safe since you're around me."
"Well," Remus sounded a bit waspish. "I know Sirius doesn't trust Severus, and I'm really not sure about him myself, honestly."
"Ok, that settles that," Sirius said. "We'll just have to figure out another way to get you that potion."
"But if it's that complicated, where else are we going to get it from?"
"Can we pay somebody to make it? Everybody knows Remus is a werewolf now, right?"
"No one likes to deal with a werewolf, Reg," Remus stated dryly. "It'd cost me three times as much--occupational hazards, and such."
"We can pay 'em off, everybody has their price," Regulus argued. "I've got plenty of money."
"I don't like the thought of 'paying somebody off' to make this sort of thing," Sirius growled. "We get the wrong person--some fucking prejudiced shitface who lies about being able to make it, and Remus could die. Hell, we get the wrong person messing with this, and they could kill him with it whether they can brew it right or not."
Reg frowned. I should have realized that...
He felt ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok. We're used to thinking about these things, and you're still getting used to it," Remus replied.
"Ok, maybe we can find something else Snape wants, and bribe him with that."
Sirius barked a laugh at that. "What could we possibly give him, that would equal his long-lost lover?"
Regulus looked as stunned as if Sirius had just hit him. "He just wanted to know where I was, he didn't ask you to whore me over to him," he protested, then looked over at Remus. "Did he?"
Sirius waved a hand, as if the actual wording was just a formality. Remus glared at him, but gave up after a few moments.
"He didn't--he didn't give that impression, did he?" Regulus couldn't believe that Snape would be so brazen with Remus--not after being told Remus was sleeping with Regulus. Severus had been much more subtle, at school.
"I must admit, I don't know Severus particularly well," Remus stated carefully. "Certainly not as well as you do."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I'm meeting him again tonight."
"Ok--well--we'll figure out something by then that we can offer him. He likes--let me think a second--"
"He already knows what he wants," Remus stated delicately.
"No--there's gotta be something else, I'm going to get you this potion," Regulus said determinedly, and Remus suddenly realized that Regulus had never wanted anything for him that he wasn't able to provide. "How about... potions ingredients. There's some rare stuff growing behind Grimmauld Place, and there's plenty of it--it's pretty much wild there, now."
"I think he already knows about that," Remus replied doubtfully.
"Well, it can't hurt, can it?"
Sirius didn't look convinced, but offered, "Well, he knows about it, sure, but he can't just go there, the wards would have him blocked. He certainly can't TAKE anything without permission--I think that tree would kill him if he tried.”
Reg smirked. "He has a point," he wheedled. "Let me do this for you, Remus."
Remus sighed. "I don't think it will, but we can try. YOU, though, need to stay here--I'm not willing to risk weakening The Charm over this. Sirius and I can collect samples of what's at Grimmauld, and I'll take it to Severus tonight."
Reg pouted a little, but agreed; the other two Disapparated soon after, and he made himself a sandwich from the supplies Remus had brought back.
"I don't like it," Sirius said as soon as they arrived at Grimmauld. "Snape's willing to play games with our safety--all of our safety, including Reg's, even though he'd have us believe that he CARES about Reg--but he knows what's at stake here, he knows what could happen."
"I'd just as soon go without," Remus confessed, eyeing the tree nervously before starting to pick his way through the outskirts of the garden.
"If there's a way we can get you that potion--safely--then we will," Sirius said, grabbing a handful of weeds that he hoped Snape might want for something.
"What are we going to do about Grimmauld Place and Regulus?"
"I'm not sure if the charm's strong enough to be moved again," Remus pointed out doubtfully. "At this point, I'm beginning to wonder if we'd be better off just casting the charm again. And those are dandelions, by the way."
"Oh." Sirius only remembered that Lily liked those, and figured they must have been good for potions because that had been her thing. Stupid useless flowers. He dropped the small bouquet and grabbed a handful of something else.
"Though I'm sure Regulus would think it very sweet if you brought those home to him."
"Shut up."
"It was only a suggestion," Remus smiled mildly, inspecting a diseased-looking sort of purplish vine making its way up the back wall of the manor.
"Can we trust the Order to know about Reg if we move him, though? Last time..."
"Were you going to tell them?" Remus seemed a bit surprised.
"I don't know," Sirius admitted. "Maybe I won't take him back, maybe I'll try to hide him away in one room... Gotta keep him away from Snape, Moony, I don't trust him..."
"I know," Remus replied gravely, now conjuring a basket and using his wand to clip some of the purplish vine, careful not to touch it.
"Should we--I dunno--tell him, and then recast the charm?" Sirius asked thoughtfully, prodding the now-scattered dandelions with the toe of his boot.
"I don't want to tell him a damn thing," Remus grounded out, and only afterward wondered how pouty and insolent that might have sounded.
"Neither do I!" Sirius protested, as if Remus had accused him of saying otherwise. "D'you reckon these little orangey bits are good for anything?"
"He's in love with Regulus," Remus blurted.
Sirius snorted derisively. "If that git's ever been in love with anyone, I'll dance around the square naked, acting like a squirrel."
"You're lucky I won't hold you to that," Remus quipped, "or you'd have to start stripping."
Sirius paused. "He can't be really... surely it's just the idea of..."
"I don't know," Remus sighed. "Don't touch those, you'll have a rash for a month," he warned, gesturing toward the small orange buds Sirius was about to pick. "Even if it's just the idea, Severus is really serious about it."
"Mine," Sirius muttered under his breath--Remus had heard him murmur the same thing in bed--then he shook his head and said, "err--I mean--Regulus. Is. Ah. Regulus is ours. Snape can't have him, I've told him as much..."
"I'm not telling you I think you should hand him over," Remus stated, mildly irritated as he began to harvest some odd grayish leaves growing on the base of the large tree. "That's why we're here, isn't it?"
Sirius grabbed Remus's wrist. "I'm not trying to--I don't mind sharing him with you," he said urgently. "I just--Snape can't have him, is all. Ours. Regulus is ours."
Remus vaguely wondered if Sirius had always been this possessive. He carefully agreed, “Yes. Reg is ours.”
“I’m not telling Snivellus.”
“Alright.”
“And he can just go fuck himself, if he doesn’t like it.”
“Okay.”
Sirius yanked at weeds and herbs alike with aggressive vigor (though that may have just been because, as an indifferent potioneer, he may not have cared enough to distinguish between them).
“Sirius-”
“What?”
“That stuff’s awful on the skin. Go wash your hands, quickly-before it starts to burn.”
“Oh. Erm. Thanks.”
Sirius looked at the house-which had somehow contrived to look even more menacing than the last time they’d been there-hesitantly. He really, REALLY did not want to go inside again. “Um…Shack, I guess? Wanna come with…?
“I need to get a few more of these herbs,” Remus pointed out. “I’ll be along shortly-if you don’t go now, though, you’re going to start swelling up.”
Sirius looked at his hand mistrustfully. He’d have offered to bring Remus back some gardening gloves, but wasn’t really sure wherehe’d get any, so he just nodded and Apparated back to the Shack with a pop.
Regulus had arranged himself across the sofa in an almost artful sprawl, Sirius noted, and appeared to be taking a nap, with the remains of his breakfast-sandwich still in his hand.
Sirius ducked his head into the kitchen, keeping his grin to himself as he discarded the herbs (weeds?) he’d pulled and then washed his hands well. He returned to the couch and quietly sneeaked up on Regulus, studying him in sleep for a minute before pouncing on him and ticklinghim mercilessly. Reg jerked awake, cursing loudly and trying to shove Sirius off him (he was failing miserably).
When he’d finally called uncle, Regulus was completely pinned down by Sirius.
Sirius surprise-quizzed his brother: “When you and Remus first met, did you only want to make me angry?”
“What the hell are you on about, Sirius?” Reg laughed, still smiling from the tickling and closeness, and it was such a delightful sight that Sirius almost kissed him instead of asking again (almost).
“You were shagging back in school, weren’t you?” Sirius pressed, unusually shrewd, though he nuzzled into Reg’s neck as he said it.
“Sort of,” Reg said with a shrug. “I was still in, but he’d graudated. Why’re you asking now? Where is he, anyway?”
“Picking herbs for Snivellus,” Sirius shrugged unconcernedly, ignoring the first part of the question and snuggling in closer.
“Why aren’t you helping him?” Regulus asked in a teasing voice. “Did the tree chuck you out of the yard?”
“No-Moony told me to come back here and wash my hands, so I wouldn’t swell up,” Sirius explained in a mumble, licking the part of Regulus closest to his mouth, whichturned out to be his ear.
“That tickles,” giggled Regulus.
“Good, you need to be tickled, you prat.”
“Looks like you’re swelling up anyway-”
“That’s a horrible joke, much too obvious-”
“As if your cock digging into my thigh isn’t obvious,” Reg snorted, pinching Sirius’ arse.
“Oh, shut up, you like it.”
“Always have,” Regulus agreed flirtatiously, and Sirius kissed him to shut him up. Mine.
“Black, what in the world are you doing?” came Snape’s coldest, most disdainful tone over the back of the sofa.
Regulus clapped a hand over his own mouth to keep himself silent as Sirius swerved around, pulling his wand out.
“What do you want?” he snarled, pushing himself off the sofa without letting his wand move from Snape, whose eyes still rested on the sofa, obviously realizing-
--Remus popped into the room. “Severus!” His eyes darted to the couch, confirming Snape’s suspicions. “Is everything alright?”
“Regulus is on that sofa, I assume.” Snape’s voice had gotten, if that was possible, even colder.
Sirius didn’t say anything.
Regulus stumbled off the couch, then wondered if Snape could hear the loud thud he’d just made.
“Severus, why are you here?” Remus asked almost sternly, obviously keen to get him off the subject of Regulus.
Snape flicked his eyes back up to Remus. “What on earth potion are you trying to make with that, and who are you going to end up killing with it?”
“I was going to offer them to you as ingredients,” Remus stated. “So that tree wouldn’t murder you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m not telling you where Regulus is,” Sirius growled.
Regulus was, at that moment, creeping towards the doorway to the room, unsure of anything in the way of how much Snape might be able to see, or hear, or sense, but he knew one thing: Sirius’d kill him if he let himself be found out. He mentally scolded himself for not pressing them for details about why they distrusted Snape so, and wondered how much a Legilimens could find out about someone under the Fidelius Charm without the Secret-Keeper actually telling him anything, vaguely thinking that the topic would have made an interesting independent-study report, back in 7th year.
“You needn’t bother.” Snape commented dryly.
“Severus-I know some of this stuff is rare, and I’d like to arrange a trade. For the Wolfsbane.”
“I’ve already stated the terms of our agreement, Lupin,” Snape snapped testily. “Such mangled specimens are, at any rate, useless to me.”
“I can get you fresh ones,” Remus answered quickly. “Of we can dry these, or do preservation spells…”
“Lupin. The terms are non-negotiable.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Severus. We’re not willing to negotiate, either.”
Snape’s lip curled unpleasantly. “Fine, then!” he hissed. “Enjoy the moonlight, werewolf!”
“Stay the hell away from us, Snape,” Sirius warned him, “I don’t want any of us to see your greasy mug again.”
“Go chase your tail, mutt,” Snape snarled. He stormed out of the Shack, robes billowing theatrically behind him.
As soon as he was gone, Sirius rushed over and grabbed Regulus’ arm. “We’ve gotta go-need to redo the spell somewhere else…”
Grimmauld Place was much too quiet for Sirius' taste, these days.
Regulus didn't laugh as he had in the Shack, and his teasing was half-hearted. He slept badly at night, and just wanted to sleep during the day.
It wasn't like it had been before (Remus dryly suggested the difference was that the brothers weren't yelling at each other constantly now), and Sirius didn't really know how to snap Regulus out of his depression.
Eventually, he had an idea, however. Quietly, he brought Stubby's spare guitar into the bedroom, where Regulus was staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Hey," he murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Hey," Reg replied stiffly.
"Would you--would you play for me?" Sirius asked uncomfortably, suddenly wondering if this was such a good idea after all, or if it would just make things worse...
Regulus looked at him with misty eyes, and Sirius wondered whether that was a good strong emotion, or a bad one. "What--what do you want me to play for you?" he asked, taking the guitar.
"Whatever you like," Sirius replied softly.
Regulus tuned the guitar, thinking. "Did Remus tell you which songs were about which of you, during the concert?"
Sirius simply replied, "No."
Regulus started strumming, and after a moment sang softly.
Sirius recognized one of the lines. "You talked about that song on your wireless interview."
Regulus's head snapped up, and he stopped playing. "How did you know about that?"
"Someone had the window open while Padfoot was having a look around," Sirius explained offhandedly, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. After a bit of consideration, he moved a bit closer to Reg, and softly asked, "Did you really write that one about me?”
"Yes. I even put the chorus in waltz-timing, because you always liked waltzes--I never thought you'd actually hear the song, though."
Sirius couldn't think of a single thing to say. Instead, he stroked the side of Regulus' face gently.
Regulus nuzzled Sirius's hand, and Sirius allowed himself a moment of regret that he'd been so difficult, caused so much pain, for his brother for most of their lives.
There were more pressing issues at hand, though.
"I need to talk to you about something," Sirius finally admitted.
Reg suddenly looked wary, though he didn't say anything right away.
"About the house," Sirius clarified.
"It feels horrible," Regulus blurted.
Sirius looked taken aback. "How do you mean?"
"I think I'm just... overly sensitive, these days... to the Dark Magic here. Y'know--now that He's back, and the Mark is awake, and all," he clarified, gesturing at his arm.
"Fuck," Sirius cursed under his breath. "D'you feel any more pain now, with your arm, or…?”
Regulus shook his head. "No, nothing like--physical. It just... feels... in my gut... just really... wrong. It..." he hesitated. "It makes me think about... just, bad thoughts. But no, my arm only hurts when He's calling them--it doesn't even itch the rest of the time."
Sirius gave him a warning, you'd better-tell-me look. "What kind of bad thoughts?"
Regulus shrugged.
"Reg."
"Well...it's almost like the dementors, really."
Sirius paled.
"Not nearly as strong, but--it doesn't want me to... be so useless. It wants me to... do things. Things that I don't want to do. It wants me to remember..." he shuddered, "it wants me to believe I was good at that stuff, that that's who I am, that now..."
"You're not," Sirius assured him quietly.
"I'm not like you, Sirius. I never was. I hate all of this now, but--I have it in me to be like them."
"Why would you want to be like me?" Sirius asked sharply, a single bark of a mirthless laugh spilling out of him.
"Because there's just no set of circumstances on earth that would have ever brought you to do the things that I did."
Isn't there? Sirius snorted his disbelief.
Regulus paused and frowned. "Wait--what did you need to tell me about the house...?"
Sirius sighed, as though he'd hoped he'd be able to skirt around it a bit longer. "Dumbledore wants to use it," he said flatly.
"To live--?"
"For his headquarters," Sirius elaborated.
"He wants to move the bloody school here?"
"Of course not," Sirius snapped impatiently. "For the Order."
"Sirius--what the hell are you talking about?"
"The Order of the Phoenix," Sirius explained, "the people who fought Voldemort last time." Regulus started at the name, but otherwise just looked thoughtful.
"I could help with that," he stated slowly.
"No." Sirius said it so firmly, he could have been talking to Snape.
"Well, why not? I'm good at research, and--"
"You're supposed to be dead, firstly, and secondly, you're in hiding." Sirius pointed out.
"Well, isn't that what the Fidelius Charm is for?"
"You're not going to be very useful to anybody if you stay in hiding, where you belong. And I'll never tell anybody where you are. So that settles it."
"Sirius," Regulus whined, dragging the name out. "I want to help!"
"I said no!" Sirius hadn't yelled at him in days, but dammit, the only person in the world he'd willingly trust with Regulus was Remus.
Reg threw himself back on the bed, reminiscent of a sulking child. "You don't have to tell them about me. I could still help," he muttered sullenly.
Sirius stood up. "Stop arguing," he snapped.
Regulus rolled his eyes. "You're right, Sirius--I wouldn't want to piss Him off, he might come after me or something. Look, have you bloody forgotten why the hell I'm not fucking out and about in the world? He's not going to want me to die any less, or suddenly decide to have mercy on me or something. I'm on His list no matter what I do, so I might as well do something useful."
"Snape would find out," Sirius snarled, the statement somehow turning into an accusation--it was the one thing he could find that ought to have ended the argument.
Regulus groaned and buried his face in a pillow. "Fuck, not this again, Sirius," he pleaded muffledly.
You started it! Sirius wanted to shout petulantly, but thought better of it, instead curling up next to Reg and his guitar, hoping it would end there.
He wrapped an arm around Regulus and kissed his shoulder. It was his job to keep Regulus safe, and he wasn't going to fail like he had last time (JamesohJames).
Regulus didn't respond much, sinking once again into relative listlessness.
Sirius tried not to think too much about how Regulus had said he felt unuseful or worthless, or whatever crap it was he had in his head this time. That was an affordable price, if the payoff was keeping him safe. Mine.
"So," he attempted cheerfulness, "will you play for me?"
"Don't wanna, Sirius," Regulus mumbled tiredly.
Sirius nudged closer, spooning him with as much contact as he could, and buried his face in his brother's back.
"Okay," he murmured agreeably, trying to carefully move the guitar out of the way, but Regulus wouldn't let go.
Sirius pulled away slightly, a bit stung. "Do you want Remus now, is that it?" Sometimes Regulus's obvious preferences for one of them over the other (which changed with his mood) made Sirius feel like a sulking schoolboy again. Why couldn't he just always want the both of them, as Sirius always wanted the pair of them?
"I just want to take a nap," Regulus sighed tiredly.
"Can I--can I stay?" It was asked in a manner that gave more than the suggestion that Sirius felt supremely awkward.
Regulus just shrugged. "If you want."
"You really know how to make a man feel wanted," Sirius muttered dryly, and kissed Regulus' hair a few times before trying to hold still so Regulus could sleep.
After a short while, however, he gave up, and began stroking Regulus' hair gently, staring at the wall, but not really seeing it.
Regulus' mood seemed to be catching, he decided.
Remus checked in on them after a little while, as it was rather unusual for the two to be alone together without making a bit of noise (though it varied from ranting to moaning).
As they were facing away from the door, however, and Sirius didn't say anything, Remus assumed they were both sleeping, and left without saying a word.
Sirius crowded Regulus, trying to get closer, trying to pull Regulus into him.
Regulus wriggled a bit, but didn't wake up, settling down once Sirius had him firmly tangled in various limbs and had stopped moving as well.
"Night Reg," he whispered.
Sirius imagined that Regulus' breathy little sigh meant he'd heard, and didn't mind.
Sirius Black greatly enjoyed snuggling in a warm bed, for four main reasons: because it felt the opposite of Azkaban; because Padfoot's affectionate doggy nature still influenced him in his human form; because he felt he was better at communicating love with his body than he was verbally; and because snuggling had a decent chance of evolving into even more fun things to do in bed. But he really couldn't sleep all day every day as Regulus seemed to want to, and he was rather sure that there were not going to be Other Fun Things with Regulus this afternoon, so after a while of enjoying the feeling of his brother safe in his arms and not showing any signs of nightmares, Sirius finally gave in to a bit of hunger and sneaked out of bed, heading downstairs.
Remus looked up from the letter he'd been writing. "How did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"The big talk with Regulus about the house and the Order."
Sirius sighed.
"That well?"
"He wants to help," Sirius began angrily, "But I'm not going to let him."
"You have to admit, he feels pretty damned useless right now," Remus reminded him gently. "Would it really be so--"
"Yes! I'm not letting him get himself caught!"
"What are we going to do, then, about Regulus hiding at Headquarters? Tell the Order a certain bedroom is off-limits and keep Regulus locked up like a boggart? Or do you intend to tell Dumbledore he can't use the house?"
"As long as we're careful, it shouldn't be--"
"How long do you really think we can get by with just 'being careful'? The Order's not stupid, someone'll figure it out eventually! And you know Snape has to be looking for him. Based on what happened with the couch at the Shack, he’ll probably find him, too.”
"We'll just have to be care--"
"Sirius! That's not enough!"
"It's safer than letting a dozen or more people know he's alive! Especially people who'd love to see him dead, people who blame him for the deaths of people they loved. And do you really think there won't be another spy this time? I don't trust anybody but you and him, and I don't trust him with anybody but you."
"So what are we going to do, then?" Remus snapped, though he appreciated the admittance that Sirius trusted him this time.
"I obviously don't have a fucking clue, so why don't you give me some better ideas than just telling the world where he is?"
"I can't tell the world where he is," Remus reminded him waspishly. "That's what the Charm's for, after all."
"Good. Now stop trying to get me to tell the world, or there's no point in having a charm." He thought about his options. "What if we tell Dumbledore that we'll let him use the house if he can find us a safe place for Reg to live?"
Remus made a small, noncommittal noise, obviously waiting for Sirius to let him in on whatever scheme he’d come up with.
"Wait--I've got it! I can't believe I didn't think of this before," Sirius said excitedly.
"Are you going to enlighten me, or am I supposed to guess?" Remus asked wearily, feeling rather like he was back at Hogwarts, trying to figure out what James and Sirius were up to now.
"The Room of Requirement." Sirius looked very pleased with himself. "We tell Dumbledore he can use the house if Regulus can stay in the Room of Requirement for the summer. He'll have whatever he needs, and none of the students will be around for months."
"And what's he going to do all summer? Twiddle his thumbs? I don't want to imprison him!"
"It'll keep him safe, won't it?"
"Not safe from himself, it won't!"
"We're going to have to do something about that. Whether he uses the Room or not. We can't keep babysitting him like this, we need to help him get better somehow..."
"So what are we going to do?"
"This house isn't doing him any good."
"Clearly."
"He said it feels like a dementor, makes him think 'bad things.'"
"Well, like calls to like, Dark or not, and that Mark is pretty significant... it probably felt invigorating, when he was on the other side. At least if it feels bad, that's a sign he's resisting it."
"Of course he's resisting it, that's not who he is. Anyway, the Room of Requirement would work. He wouldn't be locked up, he'd be able to have whatever he wants--a music room with lots of sunshine, or something."
"The Room can't make people, though," Remus pointed out logically. "And I don't think it's a good idea for him to be alone for that long."
"We can visit him!"
"Not really; it'd look pretty suspicious if I kept turning up at Hogwarts, since I don't teach there anymore, and you can't really go anywhere."
"Secret passages, Remus! Piece of cake! Besides, bollocks to how it looks, nobody's really there much in the summer."
"Snape's there."
"He won't find Reg in the Room unless I fucking tell him to look there, and exactly what to look for, right? But if you don't like it--fine. What's a better solution?"
"Well, for starts, maybe we should settle this with Reg, instead of making plans for him like he's a child."
"I--he's sleeping."
"He's always sleeping."
"I'm not waking him up."
"Sirius, being his Secret-Keeper doesn't mean you get to make all his choices for him."
"I'm not trying to make all his choices for him, I'm trying to keep him safe!"
"You're talking about cutting him off from human contact indefinitely!"
"He'd still see us, though--and that would be a right sight better place to stay than here."
"Will the pair of you shut up?"
Regulus was glaring at them. "Did either of you happen to remember--and I'm just curious, here--that I managed to hide myself for fifteen years, and not get killed?"
"Yeah, but--" Sirius left it there, apparently unable to come up with an appropriate 'but.'
Remus stayed silent.
"And have either of you noticed that I haven't been picking at the Mark since He's come back?"
Remus nodded, and Sirius gave a slightly sullen ‘yes.’
“Have either of you noticed that I like living with the two of you so much, I don’t want to pick just one of you?”
“Okay, that’s crap,” Sirius piped up. “You picked Remus. Twice.”
“I’d’ve picked you, too, if you’d stopped to give me the time of day.”
“I meant recently-with your little ‘run away with me into the Muggle world’ stints. And you know what else I noticed, Reg? Your little charade of trying to leave or give yourself up to Malfoy to be killed. Your self-preservation instincts are not exactly up to par these days.”
“I was trying to save your lives! Now that we've got this Charm in place, I thought--oh, I dunno--I'd give up fame and glory and riches so I could shag you at night or in the shower or after lunch or whenever, just because we're all THERE, and that's what living together is supposed to be like. So I'm curious, Sirius--what exactly do you want from me that you're not getting?"
Sirius spluttered indignantly. "I--you're not--you haven't gotten out of bed in days!" he stated, as though this explained everything.
"I'd have let you fuck me if you wanted, when have I said no?"
Remus interrupted them. "This isn’t about sex, it’s about keeping you safe, Regulus.”
“I’m safe with you! So why are you sending me away?”
“Because Dumbledore says he wants to use the house for the Order, and we can’t very well tell him no!”
“Why the hell not? You don’t think the most powerful wizard in the world couldn’t find a Plan B?”
“Because he saved my arse! I owe him!” Sirius snapped. He hated owing anyone.
“You’re so stubborn!”
“Do you really want to stay here?”
“I want to stay with you, you fucking twat, that’s all I ever wanted!”
“Look,” Remus finally broke in. “Shall we just-try it, for a few weeks?”
“I don’t care,” one brother said, while the other said, “fine.” They sort of glared at each other, and Remus threw up his hands. “Who wants sex?” he asked frustratedly, the way someone might announce that it was time for cake in an effort to distract quarreling children.
Sirius tried not to look too pleased; Regulus was startled into a small chuckle.
“Bed or couch?” Sirius asked at the same time Regulus said, “I call middle.”
“Bed,” Remus replied decisively, grabbing them by the wrists and pulling them up the staircase.
They went very willingly, and as soon as they reached the bedroom, Sirius grabbled Regulus and kissed him roughly. Reg moaned and reached for Remus.
Content to watch them kiss for the moment (it did mean, after all, that they weren’t arguing), Remus pressed up behind Reg, slipping arms around his waist and nuzzling against his neck.
Regulus sighed happily, dropping his head back on Remus’ shoulder (Sirius’ mouth followed, and he shifted his weight to lean over Reg) and moved his hands downward to gently shove Sirius toward the bed, then clutch at his back as Sirius nibbled at his ear.
Regulus climbed into the bed and let himself get lost in the feeling of hands and mouths, the sound of moans and whispers of fabric-he purposely lost track of which belonged to whom, and tried to stop thinking for a little while.
He finally opened his eyes when someone murmured his name loud enough to be trying to get his attention.
It turned out to be Remus (who had, at some point, switched places with Sirius).
Regulus smiled lazily and draped his legs around Remus, pulling him closer to trail his fingertips down Remus’ back and across his arse. “Do you remember the first time we fucked?” he whispered huskily.
“Yes,” Remus moaned, pushing back against his fingers.
"Tell me about it," Regulus urged, wondering if it would turn Sirius on, if it would make him need to shag even more. Regulus reached down and very slowly stroked Remus.
"We were--behind the school," Remus gasped, with a bit of difficulty. "Just after graduation--"
"Tell me what I did to you," Reg demanded silkily, over one of Sirius' groans.
Remus moaned, as well. "You--you sucked me off--and then--you fucked me."
"Like this?" Regulus murmured, leaning over to lick Remus. Sirius knelt behind Regulus and started wanking himself with slow movements.
"Fuck yes, just like that," Remus gasped, and Regulus rewarded him with his probing fingers.
"What was it like?" That from Sirius.
“Good.” Remus was a bit too incoherent for much else.
"No. More," Sirius insisted.
Regulus turned around and looked at him. "I wanted to fuck him until he stopped thinking about you," he said, then turned back to Remus. "Did it work?"
Remus (who hadn't registered what Reg'd said to Sirius) just panted heavily, with the occasional breathy 'please.'
Regulus groaned, remembering how he'd pleaded with Remus the whole time. "I'd forgotten about that."
"So good, Reg," Remus gasped.
Determined not to be ignored, Sirius nipped his brother's neck roughly, sliding a finger into him at the same time.
Regulus gasped and grasped Sirius's thigh, then composed himself slightly. "What was it like the first time you shagged Remus?"
"Quick," Sirius answered honestly, less than half his attention on the conversation.
"Who was doing what?" Regulus pushed, one hand still fingering Remus and the other moving over to help Sirius wank.
"I fucked him," Sirius grunted around a moan.
"When?"
"Beginning of fifth year."
"Why weren't you shagging me instead?"
"Reg! Shut up and fuck, or I'll kill you!"
"Touchy," he chuckled, all too coherent, Sirius decided, for him to be doing things properly.
Sirius lined himself up behind Regulus and, as a last-minute mercy, warned, “You wanna take your fingers out of Remus? Gonna be rough.”
“I’m-”
Too late.
Regulus hurriedly moved his hand to Remus's prick, trying to make it as good for him as he could. Sirius leaned over and whispered filthy things in Remus's ear as Remus came.
Remus watched languidly as, soon after that, Sirius followed suit.
Sirius started pulling at Regulus, determined to take him with.
After a couple of moments, Regulus came, too, and they just kind of collapsed into a tangle of sticky, sweaty limbs.
Regulus reached over and pulled Sirius to him, kissing his jaw. "Don't make me move out, Sirius, please don't."
"We'll talk about it," Sirius allowed, yawning.
"No." Regulus scratched at his shoulders. "We'll talk about it now."
"You want to stay." Remus stated. It was, in no way, a question.
"Not here, but with the two of you, yes."
"But where would we go?" Sirius asked, rather logically.
"Just come with me. Whatever special room you two were talking about earlier, just come with to live there. You don't have to live here at the house just because the phoenix-thing is here, do you?"
“He’s right, Sirius.”
“Okay. We can do that.” He grabbed an armful of whoever was closest. “I don’t like it here, either.”