I want it to all stop
First Its my Little brother birthday, he is 13 today and that scares me. Hes growing up too soon. I love him so much.
I think i am depressed. And dont think, oh its going to be one of those kind of entries. Im on some medecine right now, and one of its side effects is depression. Ive already got the back pain side effect like crazy.
Anywho, i dont know if it's just the circumstances of my life right now, or if it is the medecine. My life is a mess at the moment. Especially my love life, and its tearing me apart. All i can say to him is that im sorry and that one day i hope we can be together like before i went and messed everything up. Also, my friend situation hasnt been the greatest either. People are angry at me for silly reasons, i think anyhow. It makes me feel like crap.
Lately ive been going either really high. Like in chemistry this morning when we tested for fluoresents around the room with black lights. Discovered that laundry detergent works wonders and then ended up coving ourselves in it. And trying to wash it off in the bathroom with fluoresent soap. And then ive been going to extreme lows. Like after practice today when i finally got through to home and they were coming to get me. I was the last one left waiting. Mr. Symonds drove up and asked how i was, and said that i hadnt been myself lately. I obviously lied that everything was fine, and i was perfect as can be. But then like a minute or after he left, i started crying. I never cry, and lately i do it all the time. Sometimes for good reasons, other times i dont even know why.
Hopefully i can clean up my mess of a life soon. And hopefully this sadness ive been feeling will lift off of my shoulders. I really hope its not my medecine, because i dont want to stop taking it, its so worth it in my eyes.
I guess ive been wanting to tell that to someone, but no one around me really fits the description or i havent had the chance to. So online will have to do.
-Katie.
I think i am depressed. And dont think, oh its going to be one of those kind of entries. Im on some medecine right now, and one of its side effects is depression. Ive already got the back pain side effect like crazy.
Anywho, i dont know if it's just the circumstances of my life right now, or if it is the medecine. My life is a mess at the moment. Especially my love life, and its tearing me apart. All i can say to him is that im sorry and that one day i hope we can be together like before i went and messed everything up. Also, my friend situation hasnt been the greatest either. People are angry at me for silly reasons, i think anyhow. It makes me feel like crap.
Lately ive been going either really high. Like in chemistry this morning when we tested for fluoresents around the room with black lights. Discovered that laundry detergent works wonders and then ended up coving ourselves in it. And trying to wash it off in the bathroom with fluoresent soap. And then ive been going to extreme lows. Like after practice today when i finally got through to home and they were coming to get me. I was the last one left waiting. Mr. Symonds drove up and asked how i was, and said that i hadnt been myself lately. I obviously lied that everything was fine, and i was perfect as can be. But then like a minute or after he left, i started crying. I never cry, and lately i do it all the time. Sometimes for good reasons, other times i dont even know why.
Hopefully i can clean up my mess of a life soon. And hopefully this sadness ive been feeling will lift off of my shoulders. I really hope its not my medecine, because i dont want to stop taking it, its so worth it in my eyes.
I guess ive been wanting to tell that to someone, but no one around me really fits the description or i havent had the chance to. So online will have to do.
-Katie.