Well, for various reasons, I couldn't come up with the time to watch the semis, so here's some quick thoughts for the finals. I know we all need this yearly check-in so everyone knows I'm still alive. Like always, it's in the order of what I liked best:
NETHERLANDS - This is closer than they've ever come to country in Eurovision before. I like it for variety's sake, and it's upbeat. I don't hate this.
ALBANIA - Dressed like Rock act, plays like Rock act's twelfth "folk album." Like the guys pipes, though!
MOLDOVA - Come on Moldova! Basic kinda poppy song, but they've got a magic wall~~~
SWEDEN - This is the expected Swedish slickness and competence. He reminds me of Mans, which is a little creepy. But I liked this.
HUNGARY - Eurovision metal by way of J-Rock in Hungarian. This is entertaining at least, but I wish they weren't wearing their "go to the grocery store" clothes.
ISRAEL - I liked this better when it was Hatsune Miku. Hahah the stage show is ridic, though. XD XD And she can belt at least.
SLOVENIA - Cute girl group act, with a bit of a beat. I'm not mad at this.
CZECH REPUBLIC - 90s video realness, cute song, cute guy, fog machines! I liked that.
SERBIA - Very Serbia. Traditional vocals with a beat. Maybe the old dude with a recorder is a little different. Or maybe this is last year's act? I dunno.
IRELAND - Boring ballad spiced up a bit with an actual dance act interlude. Fake snow.
CYPRUS - Logo people were loving this, but it seems old hat after two back to back seasons of drag race. Song was cute though!
ESTONIA - Opera song with a crazy lightup dress, not my thing but she did well and showed all the bad singers that you can hit all the notes.
UNITED KINGDOM - Good for Britain, but still pretty boring. Hey fog machine, though! Oh, but someone ran on stage and stole the mic and made the show go wonky. Had trouble deciding where to rank it because of that, but since she declined the offer to perform again.
NORWAY - ...that may not be how you write a song. This would have been cute on Sesame Street.
BULGARIA - If you are assembling a group for Eurovision, why would you pick breathy mushmouths? This is pretty boring. Strong finish, though, okay.
FINLAND - They brought a setpiece and it wasn't a ballad, so it's okay. I liked the spinning bit at the beginning. She sang....okay.
FRANCE - Let's sing low and pitchy so I can hit the high notes. Simple song that's...all right.
AUSTRALIA - Pretty boring, and just seizure light show.
DENMARK - Songwriters found a Viking looking dude to sing this. But he sounds like a hobbit. Boys choir stage show.
UKRAINE - Vampire aesthetic, opens like Pennywise sewer grate. Solidly mediocre, needs a singer who can belt a bit more. Fire geysers, yay.
ITALY - I really don't get this. The song is boring, the text is in like seven languages and incomprehensible. Sometimes you send contenders, Italy.
AUSTRIA - Pretty boring, someone with more charisma could have pulled this off, but...
SPAIN - This would be cute at a high school choir show.
GERMANY - Ed Sheeran knock off sings a boring song, brings own LCD effect screen.
PORTUGAL - Shows they don't want to win again. Just as boring as Lithuania, but technically better.
LITHUANIA - Worse version of Spain.
Goon vote: Moldova / Israel / Hungary / Finland / Ukraine
Congrats to Israel, glad that Moldova Moldova-ed like always. The second half of my 2017 was godawful, I'm still having a little trouble getting back into the things I love, but I wouldn't completely miss Eurovision. Hope anyone reading this is doing well.