Eurovision Semi-Finals 1
Since LJ is finally working, my thoughts from watching Eurovision's First Semi-Final Wednesday night:
Like I've done before, they are in order from my favorite to least favorite, numbers are the order they performed.
9 - MONTENEGRO - Astronauts and colored fog, I'm sold! They're rapping, and now there's a loud lady dressed like a cyborg fairy singing, and there's wub wubs and smoke geysers! YAYYYYYYYY IT'S EUROVISION IT'S FINALLY HERE
12 - MOLDOVA - Now, I know Zdub si Zdub didn't make it this year, so I'm trying really hard to be optimistic about this entry. Well, okay, if you're just going to stand there and sing, you might as well try to look like white Janelle Monae. And have crazy backup dancers behind you! I'm actually liking this, the instrumental track is good, she can sing, and it's in Romanian, not English. Elevator dress with thunderbolts. I may hate ballad entries, but fuck if Moldova didn't show HOW to do a Eurovision ballad here.
5 - DENMARK - Flute, super-white-Shakira. I can't understand half of her words, and it's not accent--it's an inability to enunciate. I'm really bothered by the giant drums sitting on stage all alone. Ah, there we go, two man drumline, pyrotechnics, Hello Eurovision!
11 - BELARUS - Wow, the singer just popped out of a disco ball like Lady Gaga from an egg. Wearing a flapper dress made out of holographic tinsel that barely covers her crotch. Oh, and there's a song. She's not that great of a singer, but they're dancing and it has a fun beat. Back up dancer dudes in white harem pants. This is only like the second real Eurovision entry so far. FIRE GEYSERS I'VE MISSED YOU
16 - SERBIA - Well, we've got three girls dressed up like knock-off Strawberry Shortcake dolls. Singing badly, in what I assume is Serbian. They're also acting like they stepped out of some cartoon with the stage show.
3 - SLOVENIA - Dubstep Human Centipede? And now we have the singer wearing plate armor on her shoulders. The song is still pretty boring, the singer's worse than the first two, but this tops them all because of the dudes' dancing. Also, you'll be glad to know the wind machine is still operational.
7 - UKRAINE - Sure, have some giant dude dressed like a Viking carry out your singer. No follow through, though, I've got some chick in a dress singing quite a boring song. Looks like the fog machine got kicked up into overdrive, though!
2 - ESTONIA - WHY IS EUROPE IN BLACK AND WHITE ALL OF A SUDDEN?? Well, we've got another boring song, more confirmation that the wind machine is functional... But props for the song not being in English. I kind of want to take them away, though, because the singer decided to perform while wearing a sheet. SMOKE MACHINE IS GO!
13 - IRELAND - Didn't send Jedward this year, what's the point? :( :( :( Well, shirtless drummers and some dude singing late 90s Latin pop isn't really an acceptable replacement even if I like watching the shirtless dudes.
1 - AUSTRIA - The song is okay. But quite a boring way to start the festivities. At least we know the wind machine works, though! :D
15 - BELGIUM - Even if English is this guy's first language, he shouldn't be singing in it. Slow song, with some questionable backup dancing. Really questionable. Also, singer's kinda creepy. ONE LAST BREAST FOR LIFE
4 - CROATIA - First dude singing of the night! And now there's six. On the down side, none of them appear to be dancing. They're not singing in English, but this is perhaps the most boring song so far, and the stage show is tied for boringest. Also, I'm afraid the wind maching might be broken now. :(
6 - RUSSIA - Boring song that's sung well? What if this song wasn't boring? What if the people on stage did more than just stand there? They threw out two small kickball sized glowing balls without even juggling. Oh, they gave people in the audience glowsticks. Oh, and the backup singers seem to be congratulating each other on...something. Guys, I really think the wind machine might be dead.
14 - CYPRUS - Managed to clone Celine Dion, put her into an ugly dress, and give her a terribly boring song. It's not in English, but I really don't think it matters. Revived the wind machine, though, I see.
8 - NETHERLANDS - Someone bet them that they couldn't make a more sleep-inducing song than the other countries? And I swear, the singer keeps getting out of time with the backing track to the point where her voice is clashing with it. At least they hooked the wind machine back up.
10 - LITHUANIA - Oh sweetie, why didn't they let you sing this in Lithuanian? English was a bad decision. He's just singing there AND he can't sing. I don't think we're getting a one-handed cartwheel into dance breakdown this year, guys. :( His shoes are apparently called Love and Spain.
Overall, it was quite a disappointing showing, in my opinion. I decided to watch nothing ahead of time, so I wasn't spoiled at all. I hear the second Semi-Final will be less boring.
Results thoughts:
WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS LITHUANIA OR THE NETHERLANDS IN THE FINALS. Worst Eurovision ever. No Montenegro.
Montenegro 2013 Never Forget
Like I've done before, they are in order from my favorite to least favorite, numbers are the order they performed.
9 - MONTENEGRO - Astronauts and colored fog, I'm sold! They're rapping, and now there's a loud lady dressed like a cyborg fairy singing, and there's wub wubs and smoke geysers! YAYYYYYYYY IT'S EUROVISION IT'S FINALLY HERE
12 - MOLDOVA - Now, I know Zdub si Zdub didn't make it this year, so I'm trying really hard to be optimistic about this entry. Well, okay, if you're just going to stand there and sing, you might as well try to look like white Janelle Monae. And have crazy backup dancers behind you! I'm actually liking this, the instrumental track is good, she can sing, and it's in Romanian, not English. Elevator dress with thunderbolts. I may hate ballad entries, but fuck if Moldova didn't show HOW to do a Eurovision ballad here.
5 - DENMARK - Flute, super-white-Shakira. I can't understand half of her words, and it's not accent--it's an inability to enunciate. I'm really bothered by the giant drums sitting on stage all alone. Ah, there we go, two man drumline, pyrotechnics, Hello Eurovision!
11 - BELARUS - Wow, the singer just popped out of a disco ball like Lady Gaga from an egg. Wearing a flapper dress made out of holographic tinsel that barely covers her crotch. Oh, and there's a song. She's not that great of a singer, but they're dancing and it has a fun beat. Back up dancer dudes in white harem pants. This is only like the second real Eurovision entry so far. FIRE GEYSERS I'VE MISSED YOU
16 - SERBIA - Well, we've got three girls dressed up like knock-off Strawberry Shortcake dolls. Singing badly, in what I assume is Serbian. They're also acting like they stepped out of some cartoon with the stage show.
3 - SLOVENIA - Dubstep Human Centipede? And now we have the singer wearing plate armor on her shoulders. The song is still pretty boring, the singer's worse than the first two, but this tops them all because of the dudes' dancing. Also, you'll be glad to know the wind machine is still operational.
7 - UKRAINE - Sure, have some giant dude dressed like a Viking carry out your singer. No follow through, though, I've got some chick in a dress singing quite a boring song. Looks like the fog machine got kicked up into overdrive, though!
2 - ESTONIA - WHY IS EUROPE IN BLACK AND WHITE ALL OF A SUDDEN?? Well, we've got another boring song, more confirmation that the wind machine is functional... But props for the song not being in English. I kind of want to take them away, though, because the singer decided to perform while wearing a sheet. SMOKE MACHINE IS GO!
13 - IRELAND - Didn't send Jedward this year, what's the point? :( :( :( Well, shirtless drummers and some dude singing late 90s Latin pop isn't really an acceptable replacement even if I like watching the shirtless dudes.
1 - AUSTRIA - The song is okay. But quite a boring way to start the festivities. At least we know the wind machine works, though! :D
15 - BELGIUM - Even if English is this guy's first language, he shouldn't be singing in it. Slow song, with some questionable backup dancing. Really questionable. Also, singer's kinda creepy. ONE LAST BREAST FOR LIFE
4 - CROATIA - First dude singing of the night! And now there's six. On the down side, none of them appear to be dancing. They're not singing in English, but this is perhaps the most boring song so far, and the stage show is tied for boringest. Also, I'm afraid the wind maching might be broken now. :(
6 - RUSSIA - Boring song that's sung well? What if this song wasn't boring? What if the people on stage did more than just stand there? They threw out two small kickball sized glowing balls without even juggling. Oh, they gave people in the audience glowsticks. Oh, and the backup singers seem to be congratulating each other on...something. Guys, I really think the wind machine might be dead.
14 - CYPRUS - Managed to clone Celine Dion, put her into an ugly dress, and give her a terribly boring song. It's not in English, but I really don't think it matters. Revived the wind machine, though, I see.
8 - NETHERLANDS - Someone bet them that they couldn't make a more sleep-inducing song than the other countries? And I swear, the singer keeps getting out of time with the backing track to the point where her voice is clashing with it. At least they hooked the wind machine back up.
10 - LITHUANIA - Oh sweetie, why didn't they let you sing this in Lithuanian? English was a bad decision. He's just singing there AND he can't sing. I don't think we're getting a one-handed cartwheel into dance breakdown this year, guys. :( His shoes are apparently called Love and Spain.
Overall, it was quite a disappointing showing, in my opinion. I decided to watch nothing ahead of time, so I wasn't spoiled at all. I hear the second Semi-Final will be less boring.
Results thoughts:
WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS LITHUANIA OR THE NETHERLANDS IN THE FINALS. Worst Eurovision ever. No Montenegro.
Montenegro 2013 Never Forget