Josh and Angie broke up, but he's still just chasing Amy.
Woke up to a dream of pleading with the museum to get my job back. That doesn't bode well for the rest of the day, especially since I'm almost in tears now.
I've been vaguely corresponding with my mother, mostly cause she and my father want to see me sometime, and I've been avoiding them because I don't know what to say to them about the entire situation. (Not to mention they would not have been happy that I went to Ohio last weekend.) Anyway, I wrote her a note yesterday. Everything in it was truthful (I've been going through a tough time, I've been avoiding people, etc.) but I didn't give any reasons -why-. My mom e-mailed me back: I'm sorry you haven't been doing well. Can you share with me why things aren't going well? We love you and care deeply about you. I don't know, honestly. I've tried to talk to them so many times before about things, and I don't get anything at all. They say that they love me and support me, but when push comes to shove, they're not there. Or maybe they are. Maybe I do need to listen to them and go back to the place in Phoenixville. I'm obviously not a functional human being, so why even try? Who gives a shit about dreams when you can't even keep them when you get them? Maybe I should just say fuck this lifetime and start over. I don't want to talk to my roommates about this, as lovely as they are, because, well, they're both way too happy with their situations, and don't need my shit. I just.... I feel so fucking useless.
I don't know. I honestly don't know. All I do know is that it all hurts too fucking much this morning, and I'm going back to bed.
I've been vaguely corresponding with my mother, mostly cause she and my father want to see me sometime, and I've been avoiding them because I don't know what to say to them about the entire situation. (Not to mention they would not have been happy that I went to Ohio last weekend.) Anyway, I wrote her a note yesterday. Everything in it was truthful (I've been going through a tough time, I've been avoiding people, etc.) but I didn't give any reasons -why-. My mom e-mailed me back: I'm sorry you haven't been doing well. Can you share with me why things aren't going well? We love you and care deeply about you. I don't know, honestly. I've tried to talk to them so many times before about things, and I don't get anything at all. They say that they love me and support me, but when push comes to shove, they're not there. Or maybe they are. Maybe I do need to listen to them and go back to the place in Phoenixville. I'm obviously not a functional human being, so why even try? Who gives a shit about dreams when you can't even keep them when you get them? Maybe I should just say fuck this lifetime and start over. I don't want to talk to my roommates about this, as lovely as they are, because, well, they're both way too happy with their situations, and don't need my shit. I just.... I feel so fucking useless.
I don't know. I honestly don't know. All I do know is that it all hurts too fucking much this morning, and I'm going back to bed.