i wonder if she's thinking of me...
[my name is]: sam.
[in the morning i am]: sleepy + affectionate.
[love is]: hard.
[i dream about]: i haven't dreamt in so long.
-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do you notice first?]: eyes + lips.
[last person you slow danced with]: um, my sister.
-W H O-
[do you have a crush on?]: many a celebrity.
[easiest to talk to]: marianne.
-H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for your best friend]: yeah i think so.
-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[you talked to on the phone]: marianne.
[hugged]: lara, my sister.
[you instant messaged]: krystle.
[you laughed with]: lara.
-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[could you live without the computer?]: i could live.
[what's your favorite food?]: mexican.
[whats your favorite fruit?]: cherries, i guess. i don't know.
[what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional plain IS physical pain.
[trust others way too easily?]: nope.
-N U M B E R-
[of times i have had my heart broken?]: two or three, i suppose. i don't know. there's many times where i feel like it's just been absolutely shattered.
[of hearts i have broken?]: none, i hope.
[of boys i have kissed?]: um, one. sort of. lol.
[of girls i have kissed?]: like only... not many. shh.
[of drugs taken illegally?]: no comment.
[of tight friends?]: three-ish four.
[of cd's that i own?]: pfft like ten.
[of scars on my body?]: can't count that many.
[of things in my past that i regret?]: a few.
-O.T.H.E.R.T.H.I.N.G.S.- i hate these fucking things.
[i know]: more than you think i do.
[i want]: too much, it seems.
[i have]: all i really need, i suppose.
[i wish]: you knew.
[i hate]: the word hate.
[i miss]: her.
[i fear]: ...her.
[i hear]: dashboard <3.
[i search]: ? what am i meant to say? yeah i search. i use google. lmao.
[i love]: maybe too much.
[i ache]: for something more than this.
[i care]: too much.
[i always]: meh.
[i dance]: badly, but often.
[i cry]: every single day.
[i do not always]: appreciate things + people as much as i should.
[i write]: crap.
[i confuse]: myself.
[i can usually be found]: here at my desk.
[i need]: a hug? lol.
[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: i think so.
[if so, when and with who]: ages ago with some friends. it didn't get very far at all. thank god.
[favorite place to be kissed?]: neck *dies*
[have you ever been caught "doing something"]: no.
[wuss]: am i? a little.
[druggie]: no.
[gang member]: lmao no.
[daydreamer]: yes.
[alcoholic]: never.
[freak]: you could say that.
[brat]: nah.
[sarcastic]: sure.
[goody-goody]: in some ways yes, in other ways no.
[angel]: far from it. you all know it.
[devil]: poopies.
[friend]: i am a friend. not a very good one.
[shy]: oh hell yes.
[talkative]: not really.
[adventurous]: sort of.
[intelligent]: yes.
-Concerning.The.Friends.(You.Claim.To.Have)-
[impacted you the most spiritually]: elle.
[wish you saw more often]: all of them.
[wish you could meet]: karo, krystle, kerrie, marianne.
[most sarcastic]: krystle without a fucking doubt.
[wish you knew better]: jess.
[knows you best]: jess + marianne.
[best outlook on life]: elle.
[most paranoid]: me or jess.
[sweetest]: all of them <3.
-Self-Analysis.You.Probably.Don't.Want.To.Do-
[your best feature (personality)]: humour.
[your biggest flaw (personality)]: don't...appreciate...anything?
[most annoying thing you do]: not speak.
[biggest mistake you've made this far]: don't know, i have made many.
[describe your personality in one word]: iggle-plop.
[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: smile.
[person you regret sleeping with]: the only one i've ever slept with.
[height]: 6ft.
[a smell that makes you smile]: my sister, lol.
[a city you'd like to visit]: don't know.
[a drink you order most often]: water :S
[a delicious dessert]: anything? lmao.
[a book you highly recommend]: meh.
[the music you prefer while alone]: whatever.
[your favorite band]: of late, dashboard confessional.
[a film you could watch over and over]: girl, interrupted.
[a TV show you watch regularly]: will + grace.
[you live in a(n)]: ehh?
[your transportation]: my feet. mums car.
[your cologne or perfume]: none. i just smell sexy naturally, thankyou.
[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: crappy paintings i did when i was fifteen.
[something important on your night table]: my phone?
nose: samuel ...god that made me dizzy
elbow: samuiel
tongue: samuel ...gross
chin: sam,uerl;
feet: samuel :D
eyes closed and one finger: sa,irl ...lmao
back of your hand: samuel
palm: anmuiewlk ...shit
mouse: samuel
wrist: samuel OMG CHECK THAT OUT.
hmm one of my entries is missing. livejournal is being very weird. the other day the style kept changing and i was confused. hmm. anyway. y'all have to comment on this shit right here. because i need ...some... comments. lmao.
you've called to say you wanted out, well i can't say i blame you now. i begged you not to go, i begged you, i pleaded, claimed you as my only hope. the hint of these new tears is sharp, i try to choke them back but it's useless. your taste still lingers on my lips like i just placed them on yours and i starve. such a stellar monument of lonliness. try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make and i'm the king of them. so much for all the promises you made, they served you well, and now you're gone and they're wasted on me. this is one time that you can't fake it hard enough to please. ignoring the phone - i'd rather say nothing... i'd rather you never heard my voice. does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight? basking in your victory, hollow and alone.
this is where i say i've had enough, and no one should e v e r feel the way that i feel NOW. a walking open wound, a trophy display of bruises and i don't believe that i'm getting any better. any better. waiting here with hopes the phone will ring and i'm thinking awful things i'm pretty sure that FEW WOULD NOTICE. and this apartment is starving for an argument... anything at all to b/r/e/a/k the silence. wandering this house like i've never wanted out and this is about as social as i get now. and i'm throwing away the letters that i am writing you cause they would never do, i would NEVER DO. NEVER. waiting here with hopes the phone will ring and i'm thinking awful things i'm pretty sure that FEW WOULD NOTICE. and this apartment is starving for an argument... anything at all to b/r/e/a/k the silence. so don't be a liar; don't say that "everything's working" when everything's BROKEN. and YOU SMILE LIKE A SAINT but you curse like a sailor and your eyes say the jokes on me. but, i'm not laughing, you're not leaving. who do i think i am kidding? when i'm the only one locked in this hell.
hmm. marianne, krystle and karo. thank you guys so much. you've been so good to me lately, i don't understand how you put up with me but... thank you. eh, love you guys. <3