Having a plan is 1/2 the battle...
At work early so sitting down to sort out my thoughts with a large cup of cocoa.
I must say, I love my Dad. I'll post pictures later. He sent me flowers on Valentine's Day. Stevie bought me a mini-speaker for my Ipod, so I can listen to music at work now, and a tea infuser shaped like a rubber ducky that floats on my tea.:) Tim gave me some German chocolate and one of the new King's Singers cd's he knew I didn't have (Best of the King's Singers).
I gave Dad the 7th season of Night Court on DVD, potato chips and Salsa, Tim a book on the history of soccer, and Stevie a DVD with all of the Fractured Fairy tales from Rocky and Bullwinkle on one disc.
Dad had me get up early this morning (5 AM was TOO early) and drive in to work with him and Stevie. That gave us 45 minutes to talk without Mom overhearing. Stevie's take on it was "Mom is like Congress, she's broken, stop trying to fix her and learn to manage her." Dad has just gotten immune to her temper tantrums over stupid crap and her double standards. So, we identified the main problems, and what WE can do about them.
The Plan:
* Dad is going to help me finish off an area of the basement to sew in, and wire in more light for me - which was the main problem - this will get all my sewing stuff off the main floor, as well as the ironing board/iron. I will be able to leave my machine set up, and snatch time where I can to sew.
* Once all the sewing stuff, ironing board, etc are out of my room, i'm going to set up the little desk the neighbor gave me, and move my laptop in there.
*i'm going to get a small tote, and before I go to bed at night I will go thru the house and pick up anything that is mine - she doesn't even like it if I leave a book in my bathroom. I'm going to set my alarm 5 min earlier, and use that time to put whatever is in the tote away, make the bed, etc. She insists on leaving my door open, and there is no way to rearrange the room so the bed isn't facing the door, I don't think.
* I'm going to get a bath tote - she won't give me any space in "her" bathroom, even though I shower in there as I have to be out the door at the same time as Tim, so he uses one, I use the other. Once he leaves I will move back over to the other bathroom.
* we are all going to try and be better about not leaving dishes in the sink, or if we do, rinsing things off better so they can go right into the dishwasher.
* I am going to get some diet-friendly food and if she doesn't cook, i'll just eat that and cook for myself. I will not cook for the family unless prearranged or asked to.
* My brother and I will ask each other if we have laundry we need done, so I don't get slammed with doing laundry for 4 while he does his own.
* I will do my best to arrange things to run errands on Saturday, with Dad. Mom's proven she can't be depended on, and she apparently resents the fact that I am more competent than she at running the house.
* Dad is going to start looking for an inexpensive old car for me, and will help me with insurance, etc.
It's far from perfect, but hopefully the basis of coexistence. I wish public transport didn't suck so much around here, I would willingly take the bus to work if there was a way without changing buses and trains a minimum of four times.
I must say, I love my Dad. I'll post pictures later. He sent me flowers on Valentine's Day. Stevie bought me a mini-speaker for my Ipod, so I can listen to music at work now, and a tea infuser shaped like a rubber ducky that floats on my tea.:) Tim gave me some German chocolate and one of the new King's Singers cd's he knew I didn't have (Best of the King's Singers).
I gave Dad the 7th season of Night Court on DVD, potato chips and Salsa, Tim a book on the history of soccer, and Stevie a DVD with all of the Fractured Fairy tales from Rocky and Bullwinkle on one disc.
Dad had me get up early this morning (5 AM was TOO early) and drive in to work with him and Stevie. That gave us 45 minutes to talk without Mom overhearing. Stevie's take on it was "Mom is like Congress, she's broken, stop trying to fix her and learn to manage her." Dad has just gotten immune to her temper tantrums over stupid crap and her double standards. So, we identified the main problems, and what WE can do about them.
The Plan:
* Dad is going to help me finish off an area of the basement to sew in, and wire in more light for me - which was the main problem - this will get all my sewing stuff off the main floor, as well as the ironing board/iron. I will be able to leave my machine set up, and snatch time where I can to sew.
* Once all the sewing stuff, ironing board, etc are out of my room, i'm going to set up the little desk the neighbor gave me, and move my laptop in there.
*i'm going to get a small tote, and before I go to bed at night I will go thru the house and pick up anything that is mine - she doesn't even like it if I leave a book in my bathroom. I'm going to set my alarm 5 min earlier, and use that time to put whatever is in the tote away, make the bed, etc. She insists on leaving my door open, and there is no way to rearrange the room so the bed isn't facing the door, I don't think.
* I'm going to get a bath tote - she won't give me any space in "her" bathroom, even though I shower in there as I have to be out the door at the same time as Tim, so he uses one, I use the other. Once he leaves I will move back over to the other bathroom.
* we are all going to try and be better about not leaving dishes in the sink, or if we do, rinsing things off better so they can go right into the dishwasher.
* I am going to get some diet-friendly food and if she doesn't cook, i'll just eat that and cook for myself. I will not cook for the family unless prearranged or asked to.
* My brother and I will ask each other if we have laundry we need done, so I don't get slammed with doing laundry for 4 while he does his own.
* I will do my best to arrange things to run errands on Saturday, with Dad. Mom's proven she can't be depended on, and she apparently resents the fact that I am more competent than she at running the house.
* Dad is going to start looking for an inexpensive old car for me, and will help me with insurance, etc.
It's far from perfect, but hopefully the basis of coexistence. I wish public transport didn't suck so much around here, I would willingly take the bus to work if there was a way without changing buses and trains a minimum of four times.