(no subject)
The dune grass on plum island has been growing with me for years, now.
I used to walk amidst empty spots and sit in it like a forest
It was the longest, longest walk through the dunes to the beach in the morning
and in the evening, I'd sit between the dunes and the house and make sand cakes
the horizonal slats on the back porch fence were the display case.
The dunes kept rising with storms
and the grass is so thick we had to put down wood slats to keep it from covering our path
when I was 14 grammy and grandpa had to raise the house 4 feet up
so it wasn't eaten by sand
they made the house bigger, cleaner, nicer
expanded the tiny staircase will and I made a tollbooth on
put a second bathroom in so we'd no longer have to wait in line
and made a new, bigger porch that covered the old bakery
with a new fence with vertical slats.
I was so sad I barely came here for years
But honestly, this remains my favorite place
I feel no break from my very young self, here.
I used to stay in the ocean for hours at a time
and though the new england cold water hurts my bones, now, I make myself get in and say hello to the waves.
I always read John Irving in beach chairs
William and I cooked for grammy and grandpa last night, a reversal of roles.
and we went to the ice cream place where I first had moose tracks, my favorite anywhere
I only remembered the farm stand as having a beautiful dried flowers on the ceiling
But I got so excited buying vegetables there, it was one of the best I'd ever seen.
After sitting through that wedding and feeling so outside of and against everything my father's family stands for and the things I am expected and refuse to continue
It feels good to be someplace where I am unquestioning and sentimentally loving of my family
Where there are Big Things Wrong, but I feel like part of them, and I am still happy
I think this is the only place I really feel that way.
I used to walk amidst empty spots and sit in it like a forest
It was the longest, longest walk through the dunes to the beach in the morning
and in the evening, I'd sit between the dunes and the house and make sand cakes
the horizonal slats on the back porch fence were the display case.
The dunes kept rising with storms
and the grass is so thick we had to put down wood slats to keep it from covering our path
when I was 14 grammy and grandpa had to raise the house 4 feet up
so it wasn't eaten by sand
they made the house bigger, cleaner, nicer
expanded the tiny staircase will and I made a tollbooth on
put a second bathroom in so we'd no longer have to wait in line
and made a new, bigger porch that covered the old bakery
with a new fence with vertical slats.
I was so sad I barely came here for years
But honestly, this remains my favorite place
I feel no break from my very young self, here.
I used to stay in the ocean for hours at a time
and though the new england cold water hurts my bones, now, I make myself get in and say hello to the waves.
I always read John Irving in beach chairs
William and I cooked for grammy and grandpa last night, a reversal of roles.
and we went to the ice cream place where I first had moose tracks, my favorite anywhere
I only remembered the farm stand as having a beautiful dried flowers on the ceiling
But I got so excited buying vegetables there, it was one of the best I'd ever seen.
After sitting through that wedding and feeling so outside of and against everything my father's family stands for and the things I am expected and refuse to continue
It feels good to be someplace where I am unquestioning and sentimentally loving of my family
Where there are Big Things Wrong, but I feel like part of them, and I am still happy
I think this is the only place I really feel that way.