Moon at Apogee (XXXholic/CCS, 3/6)
Moon at Apogee
~ An XXXholic/Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ~
by aishuu
Characters: Yuuko/Clow, Yue
Summary: The past comes back to bite Yuuko as Clow's final legacy shows up on her doorstep. Set pre-CCS.
Part 1 Part 2
The last time she saw Clow was a cold winter day. He'd appeared on her doorstep, smiling as he held a deep, blue umbrella over his head, keeping the gentle fall of snow from touching his clothes. He could have used magic, as he did for so many insignificant things, but he was fond of certain quirky habits, and one of them was walking in rainstorms. It was too cold for that now, so he made due with snow.
After she opened the door to see him - her minor precognitive abilities had supplied no warning, so it was with genuine curiosity that she'd answered - she almost slammed the door shut to block him out. It would have been a futile gesture, since nothing could keep Clow from entering if he really wanted to get in. Despite his pose at being a gentleman, Clow was ruthless if pushed.
Clow smiled as her fingers twitched on the door frame. "May I say you're looking particularly lovely tonight?" he asked. "Can I come in?"
She was still angry at him, but she had never expected him to be the one to make the first move toward reconciliation. Clow was just as stubborn as she was, and just as convinced that he'd been the one in the right. "I'd rather not deal with you right now, Clow," she said, and started to shut the door. She still hadn't healed from the wounds he'd inadvertently inflicted on the very fiber of her being.
He moved quickly, catching the door before it latched close, and keeping it open. "I'm here on business. I have a Wish I would like you to grant," he said.
"A Wish?" she asked, raising her left eyebrow. Clow knew better than many that her shop charged dearly for its services.
"That's what you do, isn't it?"
"Come in, then," she said, stepping away from the door. If someone was willing to pay for her services - and Clow would know she'd extract a terribly high price from him - she couldn't turn them away.
"Thank you," he murmured. He shook his umbrella four times to discard the snow that had collected before shutting it. When he let the handle go, it vanished, dismissed until its owner needed it again.
Once that would have provoked a smart-ass comment from Yuuko about showing off, but their relationship was too damaged to enjoy that kind of playful intimacy. Instead, she turned, indicating with a jerk of her finger that he was to follow. She led him into her sitting room and took her accustomed place on the divan. Once he would have joined her there, but now he sank gracefully down onto the pillow she kept for customers.
Behind her, Moro and Maru stood sentinel, watching with impassive eyes. They made no indication that the man who had aided in their creation was special; they were loyal only to her, and reflected her mood.
"What do you want, Clow?" she demanded, cutting to the chase and ignoring the usual polite preliminary of offering refreshment.
He hesitated for a moment, but then that blasted smile emerged. "I have something for you," he said.
"What makes you think I want it? All gifts come with a price, especially gifts from you."
Wordlessly he reached into his sleeve, pulling out a piece of jewelry and holding it in front of her. The necklace had been made for her, she knew instantly. The large pendant was shaped liked a butterfly, with a collection of gems serving as colors of the wings, each the prize stone from a different world. It hung from a thick silver chain, and she knew without asking that the metal wouldn't tarnish.
Yuuko had always been attracted to shiny baubles and things. She was an unrepentant collector, avaricious when it came to possessing unique items. Her hands shook as she claimed it from him. Touching the stone, she felt the magic in it. It was powerful, containing a sliver of Clow's magic that had been pulled from his soul. It made her hair stand on end.
The necklace was priceless, a combination of sorcery and rarity that only Clow Reed was able to produce.
"It's a princely trinket," she said. "What do you want for it?" Better than anyone, he knew the rules she operated under.
"Consider it a down payment on services you'll render in the future."
"What service?" she asked suspiciously. He was the strongest seer she knew, and she was wise enough to suspect his motives. A price like this wasn't given casually.
"It won't be anything you don't want to give, Yuuko," he said, using her name for the first time since they had parted company. "I promise."
Clow was always true to his word, she thought. It would do no harm to strike a bargain, and she wanted this necklace. Holding out her hand, she indicated her silent acceptance of the deal.
"Thank you," he whispered, and his shoulders lifted as though a great burden had been removed.
"You knew I couldn't resist," she said resentfully. Once upon a time, she might have asked for Clow's assistance in putting the necklace on, but now she put it on herself, blindly fastening the chain behind her neck. "You made it for me."
He was uncharacteristically silent, before nodded acknowledgment of her accusation. "I made it for someone I love dearly," he replied. "Both now, and for always."
She turned her head aside, not wanting to start this argument again. "I am the Dimension Witch," she said flatly. "No man can own my heart." How she wished she hadn't learned that truth so painfully. She rested her hand on her abdomen, trying to suppress the residual nausea that the memories evoked.
"I never meant to hurt you, Yuuko," he told her, rising to his feet and moving toward the door.
She had known that, and that was what truly hurt the most. Clow, the insufferably, superior, loving bastard, had only meant to do what he thought was right. "We are not judged by our intent, but by the result of our actions."
He sighed, and she rose to her feet to see him to the door in spite of herself. Something momentous was about to happen; it was times like this she wished she had true foresight, rather than claircognizance. What happened next was going to be important.
He turned back around to stare into her face, and she had to tilt her head upwards to look into his vivid blue eyes. She couldn't find a voice to speak with.
"Goodbye, Yuuko," he said, and for a second, he looked sad. To her surprise, he raised a hand to tuck one of her loose strands of hair behind her ear. "I wish I could apologize for the things I've done."
"You wouldn't mean it, so don't waste your words," she replied, and he left without another word. It was the last thing she ever said to him.
Clow died the next day.
A week of living with Yue was sheer hell.
Yue was a quiet guest, never asking for anything. He spent much of his time staring at nothing, and only replied when directly prompted. For Yuuko, a naturally effervescent personality, it was horrible, since Yue had no visible sense of humor, and no desire to show any reaction. He really acted like a marionette whose puppet master had forgotten about him and was no fun to be around.
He did require sleep, but preferred to do so in the middle of the day when the sun was at its highest. If he could, Yue would stay up all night, gazing with a blank expression at the sky as he sat on her roof like a gargoyle.
It was a good thing her house wasn't noticeable except to her clients, because otherwise he'd have attracted all sorts of attention. The two clients who arrived to seek their wishes since Yue had arrived wrote him off as part of the strangeness of the house. He'd just sat in her parlor, not paying them any mind. Maybe they'd even thought he was some peculiar kind of artwork, rather than a living creature.
Yuuko left him to himself after the first day, deciding that he would speak when it was time. She had learned patience over her years, and knew that Yue wasn't going anywhere, no matter what she would have liked. He was helpless in the real world, cut adrift from the people and places he had known.
Three days in, he appeared to have come to a decision, and his inactivity changed. Suddenly he was constantly around, on hand to attend to her every need. She had discovered he was an adequate cook, but his food lacked the true savor that only caring could bring. For him, putting together a meal was a duty, not a pleasure, and while it was splendidly prepared, it lacked that je ne sais quois that marked genuinely good cooks.
She realized what was happening almost immediately. Yue was trying to use her to replace Clow. He had been created to serve a master and couldn't change his intrinsic nature. Moro and Maru, though, already existed for her, and she knew that he couldn't keep hiding in her house forever.
She made a couple of attempts to hint that he might want to think on what he wanted to do, but he didn't pick up on her insinuations. He wasn't stupid; far from it. But it seemed that he'd been created without any sense of self. It really, really irritated her.
But her irritation was compounded with worry, along with awareness that this wasn't chance. Clow had sent Yue to her, and even paid for her help; even if he hadn't, she still would have been responsible for the Moon Guardian. There were other ties beyond that of obligation that bound her.
Yuuko realized that she would have to be proactive to find a solution. She wasn't sure if looking into Yue's future was a good idea, but couldn't see any other option. She wanted him out of her life as soon as possible.
There were different methods used to divine the future, but she figured water would tell her the most. Yue was a creature of secrets, but water and air were the elements he had the most connection to. Fire wouldn't know him, and while he had an affinity for plants, earth didn't love him. Air was always difficult to make sense of, since it whispered cryptic prophecies faintly. Water, though mutable, was also a constant.
She waited until the evening to cast the spell. Yuuko dressed in black, her favorite color, and had Moro and Maru lace her into the tight gown before arranging her head in a complicated twist on the top of her head. There was power in ceremonial garb, and power in the confidence she gained when she dressed her official part.
Yuuko went to the storeroom herself instead of sending her servants to fetch what she needed, understanding that effort invested would come back threefold. The silver pitcher - another of Yue's colors - was one she'd received quite a while before. She'd provided a wish to a rather sweet young man, and the price had been a family heirloom that was proof of his identity.
Her fingers traced over the runes which had been carved into the silver. Despite its lengthy stay in her storeroom, it hadn't tarnished at all. There was magic in the craftsmanship, but also magic in the family tie created by the former owners. "It will serve," she whispered to herself before sweeping grandly out of the room, although there was no one there to impress.
Yue raised an eyebrow as she headed out into the courtyard clad in full Dimension Witch regalia, but wisely didn't follow. Her servants moved to stand just inside the door in case she needed them.
The moon was full, and she dipped the pitcher in, collecting a bit of the water that had caught the moon's reflection, the water which contained the most ambient power. Hydromancy wasn't a specialty of hers. She wasn't much of a seer, not like Clow had been. But she had power, and she could channel it.
The spells were relatively simple, and she moved her hand over the water. She didn't need words - water never really liked being contained by such form as language. Instead she let her thoughts crystallize, using her memories of Yue as the focus. How he moved, how he spoke, how he looked. She kept coming back to his lonely expression, and how utterly adrift he seemed.
The magic worked, because it didn't take long for the water to reflect what she assumed was a real-time image of him. The light was pouring up from the water, and she saw Yue sitting in the room she'd assigned him, his face void of all emotion. Somehow his posture seemed defeated, despite the correctness of his carriage.
She understood. Yue had lost Clow, the man who had been father and master and god to him. A part of her wondered if it might just be kinder to put him out of his misery.
The water rippled, and the image shifted. She saw a man's face, one built along the same lines as Clow, but it was not him. The smile lacked that edge that made Clow dangerous, but contained the gentleness that had breached her defenses. He was doing something at a desk, but none of the papers that surrounded him had anything to do with magic. Then he turned his head toward her, and she had the feeling that he was seeing her.
So Clow had been reincarnated. That did not surprise her. She opened her mouth to demand what the hell was going on - if Clow still existed, why wasn't he taking care of Yue? - but the man raised his finger to his lips, indicating a desire for her silence.
She nodded her acceptance, because despite what had gone before between them, she trusted him. Clow had a purpose; he always had a purpose.
The door opened again, and another man - really, just a teenager - walked into the room. His form was rangy and unfinished, but he was already strikingly attractive, with dark hair and familiar, stunning blue eyes. Her heart clenched as she realized what she was seeing.
He was the child Clow had always wanted, the child she couldn't give him.
The warmth in Clow's reincarnation's expression was undeniable as he conversed with his son and she had to regulate her breathing to keep from screaming or reacting or losing face. She just watched as he spoke to his child, although she couldn't hear what was being said. After a brief conversation, the teenager left, and Clow was alone again.
Then he turned his face directly toward her, and nodded in acknowledgment of her presence. The ripples started to spread across the surface of the water, and she was looking into nothing but a silver vase, the magic spent.
It was a thoughtful Yuuko that returned to the house. She wasn't sure why she had been sent visions of Clow's reincarnated life, but there was one thing she had learned. There was no place for Yue in Clow's life. That door had been closed.
His path must follow another course.
~ An XXXholic/Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ~
by aishuu
Characters: Yuuko/Clow, Yue
Summary: The past comes back to bite Yuuko as Clow's final legacy shows up on her doorstep. Set pre-CCS.
Part 1 Part 2
The last time she saw Clow was a cold winter day. He'd appeared on her doorstep, smiling as he held a deep, blue umbrella over his head, keeping the gentle fall of snow from touching his clothes. He could have used magic, as he did for so many insignificant things, but he was fond of certain quirky habits, and one of them was walking in rainstorms. It was too cold for that now, so he made due with snow.
After she opened the door to see him - her minor precognitive abilities had supplied no warning, so it was with genuine curiosity that she'd answered - she almost slammed the door shut to block him out. It would have been a futile gesture, since nothing could keep Clow from entering if he really wanted to get in. Despite his pose at being a gentleman, Clow was ruthless if pushed.
Clow smiled as her fingers twitched on the door frame. "May I say you're looking particularly lovely tonight?" he asked. "Can I come in?"
She was still angry at him, but she had never expected him to be the one to make the first move toward reconciliation. Clow was just as stubborn as she was, and just as convinced that he'd been the one in the right. "I'd rather not deal with you right now, Clow," she said, and started to shut the door. She still hadn't healed from the wounds he'd inadvertently inflicted on the very fiber of her being.
He moved quickly, catching the door before it latched close, and keeping it open. "I'm here on business. I have a Wish I would like you to grant," he said.
"A Wish?" she asked, raising her left eyebrow. Clow knew better than many that her shop charged dearly for its services.
"That's what you do, isn't it?"
"Come in, then," she said, stepping away from the door. If someone was willing to pay for her services - and Clow would know she'd extract a terribly high price from him - she couldn't turn them away.
"Thank you," he murmured. He shook his umbrella four times to discard the snow that had collected before shutting it. When he let the handle go, it vanished, dismissed until its owner needed it again.
Once that would have provoked a smart-ass comment from Yuuko about showing off, but their relationship was too damaged to enjoy that kind of playful intimacy. Instead, she turned, indicating with a jerk of her finger that he was to follow. She led him into her sitting room and took her accustomed place on the divan. Once he would have joined her there, but now he sank gracefully down onto the pillow she kept for customers.
Behind her, Moro and Maru stood sentinel, watching with impassive eyes. They made no indication that the man who had aided in their creation was special; they were loyal only to her, and reflected her mood.
"What do you want, Clow?" she demanded, cutting to the chase and ignoring the usual polite preliminary of offering refreshment.
He hesitated for a moment, but then that blasted smile emerged. "I have something for you," he said.
"What makes you think I want it? All gifts come with a price, especially gifts from you."
Wordlessly he reached into his sleeve, pulling out a piece of jewelry and holding it in front of her. The necklace had been made for her, she knew instantly. The large pendant was shaped liked a butterfly, with a collection of gems serving as colors of the wings, each the prize stone from a different world. It hung from a thick silver chain, and she knew without asking that the metal wouldn't tarnish.
Yuuko had always been attracted to shiny baubles and things. She was an unrepentant collector, avaricious when it came to possessing unique items. Her hands shook as she claimed it from him. Touching the stone, she felt the magic in it. It was powerful, containing a sliver of Clow's magic that had been pulled from his soul. It made her hair stand on end.
The necklace was priceless, a combination of sorcery and rarity that only Clow Reed was able to produce.
"It's a princely trinket," she said. "What do you want for it?" Better than anyone, he knew the rules she operated under.
"Consider it a down payment on services you'll render in the future."
"What service?" she asked suspiciously. He was the strongest seer she knew, and she was wise enough to suspect his motives. A price like this wasn't given casually.
"It won't be anything you don't want to give, Yuuko," he said, using her name for the first time since they had parted company. "I promise."
Clow was always true to his word, she thought. It would do no harm to strike a bargain, and she wanted this necklace. Holding out her hand, she indicated her silent acceptance of the deal.
"Thank you," he whispered, and his shoulders lifted as though a great burden had been removed.
"You knew I couldn't resist," she said resentfully. Once upon a time, she might have asked for Clow's assistance in putting the necklace on, but now she put it on herself, blindly fastening the chain behind her neck. "You made it for me."
He was uncharacteristically silent, before nodded acknowledgment of her accusation. "I made it for someone I love dearly," he replied. "Both now, and for always."
She turned her head aside, not wanting to start this argument again. "I am the Dimension Witch," she said flatly. "No man can own my heart." How she wished she hadn't learned that truth so painfully. She rested her hand on her abdomen, trying to suppress the residual nausea that the memories evoked.
"I never meant to hurt you, Yuuko," he told her, rising to his feet and moving toward the door.
She had known that, and that was what truly hurt the most. Clow, the insufferably, superior, loving bastard, had only meant to do what he thought was right. "We are not judged by our intent, but by the result of our actions."
He sighed, and she rose to her feet to see him to the door in spite of herself. Something momentous was about to happen; it was times like this she wished she had true foresight, rather than claircognizance. What happened next was going to be important.
He turned back around to stare into her face, and she had to tilt her head upwards to look into his vivid blue eyes. She couldn't find a voice to speak with.
"Goodbye, Yuuko," he said, and for a second, he looked sad. To her surprise, he raised a hand to tuck one of her loose strands of hair behind her ear. "I wish I could apologize for the things I've done."
"You wouldn't mean it, so don't waste your words," she replied, and he left without another word. It was the last thing she ever said to him.
Clow died the next day.
A week of living with Yue was sheer hell.
Yue was a quiet guest, never asking for anything. He spent much of his time staring at nothing, and only replied when directly prompted. For Yuuko, a naturally effervescent personality, it was horrible, since Yue had no visible sense of humor, and no desire to show any reaction. He really acted like a marionette whose puppet master had forgotten about him and was no fun to be around.
He did require sleep, but preferred to do so in the middle of the day when the sun was at its highest. If he could, Yue would stay up all night, gazing with a blank expression at the sky as he sat on her roof like a gargoyle.
It was a good thing her house wasn't noticeable except to her clients, because otherwise he'd have attracted all sorts of attention. The two clients who arrived to seek their wishes since Yue had arrived wrote him off as part of the strangeness of the house. He'd just sat in her parlor, not paying them any mind. Maybe they'd even thought he was some peculiar kind of artwork, rather than a living creature.
Yuuko left him to himself after the first day, deciding that he would speak when it was time. She had learned patience over her years, and knew that Yue wasn't going anywhere, no matter what she would have liked. He was helpless in the real world, cut adrift from the people and places he had known.
Three days in, he appeared to have come to a decision, and his inactivity changed. Suddenly he was constantly around, on hand to attend to her every need. She had discovered he was an adequate cook, but his food lacked the true savor that only caring could bring. For him, putting together a meal was a duty, not a pleasure, and while it was splendidly prepared, it lacked that je ne sais quois that marked genuinely good cooks.
She realized what was happening almost immediately. Yue was trying to use her to replace Clow. He had been created to serve a master and couldn't change his intrinsic nature. Moro and Maru, though, already existed for her, and she knew that he couldn't keep hiding in her house forever.
She made a couple of attempts to hint that he might want to think on what he wanted to do, but he didn't pick up on her insinuations. He wasn't stupid; far from it. But it seemed that he'd been created without any sense of self. It really, really irritated her.
But her irritation was compounded with worry, along with awareness that this wasn't chance. Clow had sent Yue to her, and even paid for her help; even if he hadn't, she still would have been responsible for the Moon Guardian. There were other ties beyond that of obligation that bound her.
Yuuko realized that she would have to be proactive to find a solution. She wasn't sure if looking into Yue's future was a good idea, but couldn't see any other option. She wanted him out of her life as soon as possible.
There were different methods used to divine the future, but she figured water would tell her the most. Yue was a creature of secrets, but water and air were the elements he had the most connection to. Fire wouldn't know him, and while he had an affinity for plants, earth didn't love him. Air was always difficult to make sense of, since it whispered cryptic prophecies faintly. Water, though mutable, was also a constant.
She waited until the evening to cast the spell. Yuuko dressed in black, her favorite color, and had Moro and Maru lace her into the tight gown before arranging her head in a complicated twist on the top of her head. There was power in ceremonial garb, and power in the confidence she gained when she dressed her official part.
Yuuko went to the storeroom herself instead of sending her servants to fetch what she needed, understanding that effort invested would come back threefold. The silver pitcher - another of Yue's colors - was one she'd received quite a while before. She'd provided a wish to a rather sweet young man, and the price had been a family heirloom that was proof of his identity.
Her fingers traced over the runes which had been carved into the silver. Despite its lengthy stay in her storeroom, it hadn't tarnished at all. There was magic in the craftsmanship, but also magic in the family tie created by the former owners. "It will serve," she whispered to herself before sweeping grandly out of the room, although there was no one there to impress.
Yue raised an eyebrow as she headed out into the courtyard clad in full Dimension Witch regalia, but wisely didn't follow. Her servants moved to stand just inside the door in case she needed them.
The moon was full, and she dipped the pitcher in, collecting a bit of the water that had caught the moon's reflection, the water which contained the most ambient power. Hydromancy wasn't a specialty of hers. She wasn't much of a seer, not like Clow had been. But she had power, and she could channel it.
The spells were relatively simple, and she moved her hand over the water. She didn't need words - water never really liked being contained by such form as language. Instead she let her thoughts crystallize, using her memories of Yue as the focus. How he moved, how he spoke, how he looked. She kept coming back to his lonely expression, and how utterly adrift he seemed.
The magic worked, because it didn't take long for the water to reflect what she assumed was a real-time image of him. The light was pouring up from the water, and she saw Yue sitting in the room she'd assigned him, his face void of all emotion. Somehow his posture seemed defeated, despite the correctness of his carriage.
She understood. Yue had lost Clow, the man who had been father and master and god to him. A part of her wondered if it might just be kinder to put him out of his misery.
The water rippled, and the image shifted. She saw a man's face, one built along the same lines as Clow, but it was not him. The smile lacked that edge that made Clow dangerous, but contained the gentleness that had breached her defenses. He was doing something at a desk, but none of the papers that surrounded him had anything to do with magic. Then he turned his head toward her, and she had the feeling that he was seeing her.
So Clow had been reincarnated. That did not surprise her. She opened her mouth to demand what the hell was going on - if Clow still existed, why wasn't he taking care of Yue? - but the man raised his finger to his lips, indicating a desire for her silence.
She nodded her acceptance, because despite what had gone before between them, she trusted him. Clow had a purpose; he always had a purpose.
The door opened again, and another man - really, just a teenager - walked into the room. His form was rangy and unfinished, but he was already strikingly attractive, with dark hair and familiar, stunning blue eyes. Her heart clenched as she realized what she was seeing.
He was the child Clow had always wanted, the child she couldn't give him.
The warmth in Clow's reincarnation's expression was undeniable as he conversed with his son and she had to regulate her breathing to keep from screaming or reacting or losing face. She just watched as he spoke to his child, although she couldn't hear what was being said. After a brief conversation, the teenager left, and Clow was alone again.
Then he turned his face directly toward her, and nodded in acknowledgment of her presence. The ripples started to spread across the surface of the water, and she was looking into nothing but a silver vase, the magic spent.
It was a thoughtful Yuuko that returned to the house. She wasn't sure why she had been sent visions of Clow's reincarnated life, but there was one thing she had learned. There was no place for Yue in Clow's life. That door had been closed.
His path must follow another course.