Mystic Eyes: Lovers
It's been eons, but I finally have the next part of this ready, thanks to Ely for editing it. Proves that I can be kicked hard enough.
The next part has some written, and then I have to remember what the plot was j/k. Actually, I still have the outline I wrote two years ago - one of the few fics I did that for, since I had the entire Major Arcana to go through, so I needed to figure out what to DO with them.
It's weird. There's been a lot of interest in this lately. *shrugs*
Other things I see coming soon are that Sakurazakumori Subaru fic (I need a new title!!!), and Secrets 8, since both are at the editor. I'll do the final on Ecclesiates as well. *thinks* I thought there was something else...
Paradigm Shift. That was it.
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright (c) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo. I'm merely borrowing the concept and characters for fun.
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice. Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.
AN: This part is for all those who have been waiting with varying degrees of patience. I know it takes quite a while for me to get sections out, but it’s a complex piece and it makes my head spin to write it sometimes!
***************************
PART FIVE: LOVERS
Keywords:
Relationship, Personal Beliefs
Sexuality, Values
***************************
The Lovers is one card that is easy to remember. Love and sex are riveting subjects, and, as you'd expect, this card represents both. The urge for union is powerful, and, in its highest form, takes us beyond ourselves. That is why an angel is blessing the bond between the man and woman on this card.
In readings, Card 6 often refers to a relationship that is based on deep love - the strongest force of all. The relationship may not be sexual, although it often is or could be. More generally, the Lovers can represent the attractive force that draws any two entities together in a relationship - whether people, ideas, events, movements or groups.
Card 6 can also stand for tough value choices and the questioning that goes with them. In some decks, the Lovers shows a man torn between two women - a virgin and a temptress. This rather old-fashioned triangle symbolizes the larger dilemmas we face when we are tempted between right and wrong.
The Lovers can indicate a moral or ethical crossroads - a decision point where you must choose between the high road or the low road. This card can also represent your personal beliefs because to make such a decision you must know where you stand. Following your own path can mean going against those who are urging you in a direction that is wrong for you.
***************************
Hitomi hit the pass code that would give her access to her phone messages. Her mother tended to call her every day, and she checked them religiously. When the machine informed her she had a message, she grabbed the portable (which she had replaced the day before), and went to the bed, plopped down on it gracelessly, kicking her slippers off. She sighed and pressed the receiver to her ear, wondering if she was going to get a lecture about not visiting.
'Hello? Hitomi? I… Well, this is Yukari… can you call me back? I… I’d like to talk to you… I’m really sorry about the last time you called. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to call you back, but it’s been a little bit difficult for me to get the courage--I’m not as strong as you. Um… call me. We need to talk. Okay? Please?'
Hitomi stared at the phone for a moment, and then, as though her fingers has a will of their own, she hit the number three, which erased all messages her phone service has stored.
And promptly forgot about it.
***************************
“Can I sit here?” Hitomi asked quietly.
Donovan Masanori looked at her and smiled, shoving aside a few of the large textbooks he had been studying. They were in the largest cafeteria of the campus at noon, and the place was packed. His tray was heaped with all sort of food, while Hitomi was simply eating ramen, a small salad, and - her guilty pleasure - a huge chocolate chip cookie. “Sure,” he said.
She glanced around. “Are you meeting anyone?”
“For lunch? No. Bri usually has class, and I still haven’t made too many friends. Most of Bri’s are a touch too… extraverted for my tastes, and a lot of people here don’t like gaijin.”
Hitomi blinked. “You’re not gaijin…” she said.
He picked up a piece of fruit and chewed on it thoughtfully before answering her. “I have American citizenship. My mother was Irish, and my father is Japanese American.”
She looked thoughtful as she settled herself more comfortably into her seat. Last night had been full of awkward silences and bursts of getting to know each other. She was drawn to him, as he was to her, but there was still so much to learn. The chemistry, though, was undeniable. It was an awkward dance with steps that she had learned so long ago - Van was a familiar partner, but for every two steps they advanced together, they would take a step back.
It was one of the most frustrating experiences of her life.
Hitomi lowered her eyelids, hiding her thoughts behind her long lashes. Her eyes were too expressive, and Van would be able to read her frustration and confusion.”I just didn’t really think of you as gaijin - aren’t your grandparents from here?”
“They left right after the war. I had a great-uncle who was a kamikaze.” He took a sip of his drink. “I suppose that’s part of the problem - I must be viewed as a traitor.”
“Maybe,” Hitomi answered him. She had never given too much thought to what life as a gaijin in Japan must be like; surely it was unpleasant. If she and Van continued to date, which was her heart’s true desire, they would eventually run into problems. She felt her appetite start to leave a little, but forced herself to continue eating. A runner had to maintain a good diet. “But...”
He touched her hand gently. “I’m sorry, Hitomi. I seem to be depressing you. Maybe I should go sit somewhere--"
“No!” she interrupted him hastily, her voice forceful. “I don’t want to force you out of your chair--you were here first. Besides, I want to spend some time with you right now, since I have track practice tonight.”
His smile made something inside her body tingle and heat spread across her face. “You’re too considerate, Hitomi-san. You have to be carefully you don’t wear yourself too thin.”
Her salad was filled with fresh tomatoes, which she normally enjoyed, but the cafe was notorious for adding “special seasonings” for unknown reasons that would turn the stomach if eaten by the unwary. “Being around you seems to fill me with energy,” she confessed, before picking away at her meal.
“I wonder if we’re falling too fast…” he whispered softly, in a voice that wasn’t meant to be heard.
She ignored it politely as he changed the subject, convinced that they could never move to fast. He had come back to her across worlds; they had defied fate. She wanted to be with him forever, now that she had learned the wasteland her life was without him, but she knew that Donovan Masanori still didn’t know her and would be scared by the intensity of her feelings for him.
“Did you and Bri run today?” he asked, speaking up.
Hitomi rolled her eyes, then had to wonder what was getting into her. Now that she had recognized Merle’s reincarnation, she found herself being a bit more prone to exasperation than she had been in years. It was okay to be annoyed at Bri’s spontaneity, and arguing with the girl was becoming easier. It was amazing to have Merle back in her life, even in another form. “Bri was at my room at four a.m., claiming she wanted to get an early start… while I was brushing my teeth, she fell asleep in my bed and it took me ten minutes to shake her awake. She’s absolutely nuts.”
“Insanity does not run in my family - she gets it from her father’s side,” Van said, winking.
“That’s funny. She said the same thing about you.”
“She lies,” Van said. “Believe me, she lies. When I was four, she tried to convince me that if you ran fast enough, you’d eventually outrun the sun. Things haven’t gotten better since.”
Hitomi smiled. “Maybe she believed it.”
“Don’t believe a word she says!” Van warned, waving a fork to illustrate his words. “She always makes sure she knows the facts before she makes up her lies. The most dangerous thing is a half-truth, and that’s something she specializes in!”
“Really,” Hitomi said. “I know I should say something in her defense, but sadly, I have to believe you.”
“There’s no defending someone from the truth.” Van gave her a smile.
“The problem is that we often don’t know what the truth is until after the fact,” Hitomi said
philosophical. She pushed her tray back, leaving the half-finished salad there, along with her barely
touched dessert. Her cookie had been stale, spoiling her indulgence. There was no point in eating junk food if it didn’t taste good.
He nodded. “Yes, but when we intentionally create a half-truth, that’s another thing.”
“A point.” She smiled at him, brushing her long bangs out of her eyes. She needed to get a haircut, or else they would start getting in her way when she ran. She could start wearing a sweatband, but she hated them with a passion. She liked feeling the wind against her skin.
“Would you… like to meet tomorrow?” he offered. “I don’t have any classes until four, and we can do something, even if it’s only meet for lunch again.” He blushed a bit, and she was enchanted by his shyness.
She remembered how awkward he had been in the past, and was relieved to see that hadn’t changed. “I’d like to,” she agreed. “I have morning classes, but after eleven, I’m free for the day. Maybe we can do lunch, and spend a few hours together?” Hitomi suggested. “I’d like to talk more to you.”
He looked like a great pressure had been released at her acceptance. “That would be great. Did you want to catch a movie… or something?”
She thought on it. “We could, but it’d be hard to talk. I really… just want to spend time with you,” she whispered.
His blush grew even darker. “I want to spend time with you, too,” he said. “But other girls I’ve dated always want to do something, and…”
“I’m not a normal girl, Van,” she said firmly, squashing down her jealousy of the others girls who had dated Van. “I don’t want you to entertain me… I just want to be with you.”
He seemed to be awed by that idea. “You’re wonderful,” he said.
“It’s nice of you to think so,” she said. “But I’m only human…”
***************************
Leaving Van after lunch had been hard, and focusing on her classes had proven to be even harder, but Hitomi had forced herself to. It wasn’t like she could completely stop her life simply because she was in love. She had seen other students do it, in high school and university, and some of them had flunked out.
Still, she was impatience, and spent a restless night. When Bri arrived to take her running the next morning, the other girl was in high spirits, apparently fully informed about the date and full of advice - most of which was amazingly wrong for Hitomi.
“Make sure you wear something loose! Easy access!” Bri advised.
“BRI!” Hitomi said, scandalized.
“I know where a few good love hotels are...”
“And how do you know THAT?”
“Not telling,” Bri said with a shameless wink. “I’m teasing. Van would be horrified if you took him to one of them. There’s one that has a Hello Kitty room, though, which I think might be worth it just for his reaction....”
“Bri....” Hitomi said. “I’m going to leave you in the dust today.”
“Fine, fine. I do have a favor to ask, though.”
“After what you just said? I honestly can’t believe your nerve,” Hitomi said.
“I need to go to the library to return a book, and look for others for my report for anthropology. Could you come with me?” Bri asked.
“I’m supposed to meet Van at noon....”
“This won’t take that long! And I hate going to the library alone. I always feel so out of place.”
“ I’ll meet you at eleven,” Hitomi agreed, rolling her eyes. Bri always got what she wanted in the end, so arguing with her was pointless.
Of course, as soon as Bri got the library, she promptly abandoned Hitomi to fight with the reference librarian Hitomi decided that poking in the reference section would be more productive, and told Bri something to that effect.
Bri waved a hand, and Hitomi rolled her eyes, wandering over to the section on classical literature. She would have a few reports due in a month, and maybe getting a head start wasn’t such a bad idea...
She noticed a spider on top of one of the books...
Her natural loathing of the eight-legged creatures kicked in. She stumbled back, crying out in surprise. It was only the pair of strong arms that caught her that kept her from falling to the hard wooden floor, and possibly injuring herself, which would have been a disaster. She was a runner, after all, and her body was her life.
Hitomi craned her head back to try to see who her savior was, but his face was too shrouded in shadows from the dim library. She realized that her own form was probably just as hidden, for which she was relieved. Her blush of embarrassment would be hidden. She hated appearing less than graceful, and finding herself in someone's arms was humiliating.
"You need to be more careful, Kanzaki-san," the smooth, low voice said. "You could have twisted an ankle, and then where would our track team be?"
"Where it's always been... First in the area." She kept her voice level, trying to ignore the strangely cool hands that gripped her sides. "One runner does not make the team.” She waited a second before finally speaking again. “Um, you can let me go now - I’ve gotten my balance back."
"Certainly." The hands settled her upright, and she took a deep breath, turning around to get a better view of the man.
He was still lurking in the shadows, much to her disappointment. It was too bad, but all she was able to get was the impression of height and a lean male form. His voice sounded familiar, elegant tones which...
"Have we met?" she asked in confusion.
"I ran into you when you were running one night," he stated. "You run like the wind, though I wonder what you're running from."
She shook her head fiercely, suddenly remembering the man. He had been there that night when her life had crashed down, when she had learned about Van and Amano and Yukari. "That night... I was confused. Usually I run toward something," she insisted.
"Really?" he said, and he sounded a bit doubtful. "I've watched your races, and there's a duality to you. You may have your eyes on one goal, but there's something that dogs your footsteps as well. I don't even know if you realize it..."
"I-" she started, but he started to turn away.
"Think on it, Kanzaki-san. I'll talk to you again soon, I'm sure."
Her eyes widened. "Who are you?" she demanded as he started to make good on his retreat.
He didn't answer, and Hitomi wondered if he had heard her. She looked over her shoulder, shivering. If Van and Merle were back, who was that man? Possibilities of all the people she had met on Gaea flowed through her mind like water, one lingering over and over.
Allen...
She dismissed it. Allen wouldn't be so cryptic. Allen was a hero to rescue a damsel in distress, but he would never interrupt her peace of mind the way this stranger did.
Or… Would he?
She wondered. Donovan and Bri were not the same as Van Fanel and Merle. A life on earth had changed their personalities, and while she recognized them, she knew they were different. Might that have happened to the Knight of Asturia as well? “This world is cruel on the pure of heart, and has no place for heroes…” she whispered to herself. She leaned towards the bookshelf, but a voice distracted her from her dark thoughts and made her forget about the mysterious man.
"Tomi-chan!" a voice squealed, and Hitomi whirled around, confronting Bri. Bri smiled at her brightly. "Thanks for coming with me."
"It's Hitomi," she corrected automatically, the way she found herself doing ten times a day. There was nothing like Bri when it came to being exasperating. "It's no problem... It gets my mind off the waiting."
"Are you still nervous? I'm sure Van's just as eager... But he won't show it, because he's a guy. He's learned how to suppress that, thanks to his father." Bri tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I returned my book, so we can get out of here."
"Did you get the other books you needed for your report?" Hitomi asked.
Bri shook her head, her short red hair brushing against her cheeks. "Nope. Looks like I'm going to have to buy them, dammit. I hate spending money on books."
Hitomi didn't say anything, merely following the taller girl out of the library. "I need to go meet Van soon... I had no clue what he has in mind." She forced herself to remain cool, not wanting to give Bri an opportunity to tease her.
"Maybe he wants to take you back to his apartment for an afternoon of mad, passionate lovemaking..."
"Bri!" Hitomi objected, blushing. "He's your cousin! How can you suggest that?"
"So? It doesn't mean I don't realize he's gorgeous..."
Hitomi felt her blush working its way down her neck. "Bri... Please?"
"Oh, you're impossible. I bet you haven't even kissed him yet." Bri sighed, but then gave Hitomi a gentle smile as they hit the steps.
"I..."
"It's okay. Van's different than I am. He takes things slow, building something than last. The house that is build on a foundation of stone, rather than sand, and all that. I think you and he really fit, but you need to find the right way to discover each other." Then Bri winked. "Though I did get you something to maybe make a prettier house." She pulled out a tiny package wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper.
Hitomi was touched by the gesture, but reaching out, she hesitated a thought crossed her mind. "This isn't condoms, is it?" Knowing Bri, she wouldn't put it past her.
"No!" Bri huffed, sounding offended. "Didn't you just listen to me? You and Van need to take things slow."
Hitomi bowed her head. "I'm sorry." She grabbed the package and tore into it, blinking a bit as she unwrapped a tube of strawberry lip gloss. "I-"
"I know you don't wear make up, but this is special!" Bri winked playfully. "Just because you need to go slow doesn't mean I think a snail should move faster than you, babe! Van loves strawberries best."
"BRI!" Hitomi yelled, but it was too late. The other girl had taken off, laughing her head off. Hitomi was left alone, staring at the "Kiss Kiss" strawberry gloss, wondering. Without allowing herself to think about it, she uncapped it and applied it.
***************************
The sky was a beautiful light blue as she crossed the lawn toward where Van was standing, waiting for her. She smiled at him, her heart feeling lighter at the sight of his handsome face. Today he was wearing a red shirt, and it brought her back to Fanelia, when he had loved her. He didn't love her yet, not as deeply, but he would. Today was their first real date, and she knew it would be wonderful.
Van hadn't noticed her arrival, as he was facing her dorm, obviously expecting her to come from that
direction. She took the opportunity to study him, notice the maturity time had brought to his body.
His face had always been angular, and the years had done nothing to change that. At twenty - for that was what he had told her he was last night - his features were striking and memorable, and she knew that he would age well. His dark chocolate were set above high cheek bones and under graceful eyebrows, and the impish grin she could surprise from him complemented it well. His lips were a bit too thin, perhaps, but there was something about the way he tilted his head knowingly that made his presence known.
He was tall, taller than she would have thought him able to become. He had always struck her as one of those who would never gain any great height, but now that she saw him as a man, she realized he had merely been a late bloomer. She remembered his brother, and realized that Folken had had a similar build.
He wasn't handsome in a traditional sense, and he had none of Allan's sheer beauty, but there was something arresting about him. She knew that eyes would follow him wherever he went, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't fade into the background.
A legacy, perhaps, of a life as a king. She shook herself from her mental wanderings. It was the here and now that was important. "Van!" she called.
He didn't start from surprise, as most people would, but turned to face her smoothly. She smiled as his face softened, and he lifted a hand to wave at her. “Hitomi!” he said in reply. “I hope I’m not too early?”
“Never.” She gave him a grin. “Bri dragged me off, which is why I’m running a bit late. I’m sorry,” she apologized.
He held out his arms, and she stepped into them, accepting his embrace. “It’s fine,” he said, pressing his face into her hair. “I know how those things happen.”
Her arms crept around him, and she was quiet, listening to the warm thud of his heart. He felt warm, and real. Holding Donovan was better than holding the Van of her dreams for just that reason. It wasn’t a dream anymore.
She didn’t know how long they stood there, but when she heard the catcalls from passing students, she pulled back, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Are we getting lunch?” she asked, trying to ignore the hot blush that she knew had to be coloring her face.
“I have a picnic lunch in my car,” he said. “I thought it might be nice to find somewhere quiet and just talk. I don’t have to be back until four, so maybe we can go to a park.”
She liked the idea. “You made a lunch?” she asked curiously.
“I can cook!” he said. “I did buy dessert, but that was because I’m not that good at making chocolate chip cookies.”
He had noticed. Taking his hand, she let him lead her to his car.
The park he chose was about half an hour from campus, even though it was still in the city. Somehow it seemed isolated, even though there were other picnickers around. She wasn’t surprised that the food was wonderful, though eating outside always made her hungrier.
Van teased her with the chocolate chip cookies, keeping them out of her reach. “You need to keep in shape for running,” he told her.
She scowled at him. “I can run you into the ground.”
“Probably,” he admitted. “If you’re good, I’ll let you have one.”
Her eyes lingered on the box longingly. “What’s good?”
“I’ll let you know,” he said, hiding the box behind him with a wink.
It was fun, to be lighthearted and carefree. She had missed the feeling.
With the wind blowing around them, and the scent of fresh-cut grass coming from under the blanket they were sitting on, she felt free. Smiling at him, she stared into his eyes, realizing that it didn’t matter if Donovan Masanori was Van Fanel.
All that mattered was that he made her happy.
“Hitomi, if someone said they could grant you anything in this world, what would it be?” he asked idly.
“One of those cookies,” she answered.
He blinked in surprise. “You wouldn’t wish to be a world-class runner or for world peace? Nothing grandiose?”
She shook her head. “Everything really worth having has to be worked for. So... I’d settled for a cookie. It’s the little things, life’s simple pleasures, that we can just ask each other for. What would you ask for?”
He thought for a second. “I think I’d settle for a kiss,” he said, and the smile faded from his lips, replaced by something utterly serious.
Her breath caught. She and Bri had been talking about kissing, but...
“I’ll give you a kiss if you give me a cookie,” she whispered in reply.
Van moved over to her, cupping her face between his hands. Slowing, his lips descended on hers, and she felt something inside of her uncoil as she responded. The light pressure was inquisitive, but Hitomi welcomed it. His kiss tasted like chocolate and made her body burn. She leaned forward, pressing herself against him, embracing the sweet feeling of homecoming and exploration. Her breath stopped as his hands pulled away and he drew back, only to rest his forehead against hers.
“I think I should have bought more cookies,” he said.
That had hardly been what she’d been expecting, and she blinked in surprise. Then she realized what he was implying, and started to laugh.
Around three, they packed up their supplies and went back to campus. She leaned against Van’s side as he pulled into the parking lot by her dorm.
“I wish we had more time,” she said.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” he asked. “I have to study, but maybe you could come over? I know we’re not in the same classes, but...”
“I’d like that. Is seven okay?” she asked.
“It sounds great,” he said, getting out of the car and going around to open she door.
He was a gentleman, she thought. Sliding out of the door with his help, she leaned on his arm a bit so she could stretch. “I think--" she began, but was interrupted by a voice from behind them.
“Ah, Van!” a voice called, one she recognized. “I was hoping I’d see you!”
She turned around with Van, about to demand what Amano was doing on campus and how he knew Van... but her voice caught in her throat.
Long golden hair flew away from a beautiful face, one which she had seen every time she saw her best friend’s fiancé. But it wasn’t Amano...
She knew she shouldn’t have been surprised to see him, since she knew Van and Merle were on Earth, but the heart rarely listened to the head’s reason. It was another spike in her stability to see him, this man she had thought she was in love with, had confused herself and Van over. He was exactly as she remembered him, though he now wore the clothes of a resident of Earth, rather than an Asturian knight.
Allen Schezar stood before her, and unlike Van, he hadn't changed at all.
***************************
END PART FIVE
Up Next: The Chariot
Keywords: Victory, Will, Self-Assurance, Hard Control
Technical Notes:
Gaijin: foreigner. Usually some social stigmas attached.
Love hotel: Places where people rent rooms to have sex, often decorated with “themes.” Yes, I have heard of a Hello Kitty Room.
The next part has some written, and then I have to remember what the plot was j/k. Actually, I still have the outline I wrote two years ago - one of the few fics I did that for, since I had the entire Major Arcana to go through, so I needed to figure out what to DO with them.
It's weird. There's been a lot of interest in this lately. *shrugs*
Other things I see coming soon are that Sakurazakumori Subaru fic (I need a new title!!!), and Secrets 8, since both are at the editor. I'll do the final on Ecclesiates as well. *thinks* I thought there was something else...
Paradigm Shift. That was it.
Disclaimer: Escaflowne is Copyright (c) 1996-2000 Sunrise, TV Tokyo/Bandai Entertainment, Inc./Egan Loo. I'm merely borrowing the concept and characters for fun.
Tarot Disclaimer: Copyright Notice. Permission is granted to copy (unmodified) all or part of the documents making up "Learning the Tarot - An On-Line Course" for personal, non-commercial use as long as the copyright message (Copyright (c) 1995-2002 by Joan Bunning) is maintained on each document or part. This material may not be sold, incorporated in commercial documents or products, or used for promotional purposes.
AN: This part is for all those who have been waiting with varying degrees of patience. I know it takes quite a while for me to get sections out, but it’s a complex piece and it makes my head spin to write it sometimes!
***************************
PART FIVE: LOVERS
Keywords:
Relationship, Personal Beliefs
Sexuality, Values
***************************
The Lovers is one card that is easy to remember. Love and sex are riveting subjects, and, as you'd expect, this card represents both. The urge for union is powerful, and, in its highest form, takes us beyond ourselves. That is why an angel is blessing the bond between the man and woman on this card.
In readings, Card 6 often refers to a relationship that is based on deep love - the strongest force of all. The relationship may not be sexual, although it often is or could be. More generally, the Lovers can represent the attractive force that draws any two entities together in a relationship - whether people, ideas, events, movements or groups.
Card 6 can also stand for tough value choices and the questioning that goes with them. In some decks, the Lovers shows a man torn between two women - a virgin and a temptress. This rather old-fashioned triangle symbolizes the larger dilemmas we face when we are tempted between right and wrong.
The Lovers can indicate a moral or ethical crossroads - a decision point where you must choose between the high road or the low road. This card can also represent your personal beliefs because to make such a decision you must know where you stand. Following your own path can mean going against those who are urging you in a direction that is wrong for you.
***************************
Hitomi hit the pass code that would give her access to her phone messages. Her mother tended to call her every day, and she checked them religiously. When the machine informed her she had a message, she grabbed the portable (which she had replaced the day before), and went to the bed, plopped down on it gracelessly, kicking her slippers off. She sighed and pressed the receiver to her ear, wondering if she was going to get a lecture about not visiting.
'Hello? Hitomi? I… Well, this is Yukari… can you call me back? I… I’d like to talk to you… I’m really sorry about the last time you called. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to call you back, but it’s been a little bit difficult for me to get the courage--I’m not as strong as you. Um… call me. We need to talk. Okay? Please?'
Hitomi stared at the phone for a moment, and then, as though her fingers has a will of their own, she hit the number three, which erased all messages her phone service has stored.
And promptly forgot about it.
***************************
“Can I sit here?” Hitomi asked quietly.
Donovan Masanori looked at her and smiled, shoving aside a few of the large textbooks he had been studying. They were in the largest cafeteria of the campus at noon, and the place was packed. His tray was heaped with all sort of food, while Hitomi was simply eating ramen, a small salad, and - her guilty pleasure - a huge chocolate chip cookie. “Sure,” he said.
She glanced around. “Are you meeting anyone?”
“For lunch? No. Bri usually has class, and I still haven’t made too many friends. Most of Bri’s are a touch too… extraverted for my tastes, and a lot of people here don’t like gaijin.”
Hitomi blinked. “You’re not gaijin…” she said.
He picked up a piece of fruit and chewed on it thoughtfully before answering her. “I have American citizenship. My mother was Irish, and my father is Japanese American.”
She looked thoughtful as she settled herself more comfortably into her seat. Last night had been full of awkward silences and bursts of getting to know each other. She was drawn to him, as he was to her, but there was still so much to learn. The chemistry, though, was undeniable. It was an awkward dance with steps that she had learned so long ago - Van was a familiar partner, but for every two steps they advanced together, they would take a step back.
It was one of the most frustrating experiences of her life.
Hitomi lowered her eyelids, hiding her thoughts behind her long lashes. Her eyes were too expressive, and Van would be able to read her frustration and confusion.”I just didn’t really think of you as gaijin - aren’t your grandparents from here?”
“They left right after the war. I had a great-uncle who was a kamikaze.” He took a sip of his drink. “I suppose that’s part of the problem - I must be viewed as a traitor.”
“Maybe,” Hitomi answered him. She had never given too much thought to what life as a gaijin in Japan must be like; surely it was unpleasant. If she and Van continued to date, which was her heart’s true desire, they would eventually run into problems. She felt her appetite start to leave a little, but forced herself to continue eating. A runner had to maintain a good diet. “But...”
He touched her hand gently. “I’m sorry, Hitomi. I seem to be depressing you. Maybe I should go sit somewhere--"
“No!” she interrupted him hastily, her voice forceful. “I don’t want to force you out of your chair--you were here first. Besides, I want to spend some time with you right now, since I have track practice tonight.”
His smile made something inside her body tingle and heat spread across her face. “You’re too considerate, Hitomi-san. You have to be carefully you don’t wear yourself too thin.”
Her salad was filled with fresh tomatoes, which she normally enjoyed, but the cafe was notorious for adding “special seasonings” for unknown reasons that would turn the stomach if eaten by the unwary. “Being around you seems to fill me with energy,” she confessed, before picking away at her meal.
“I wonder if we’re falling too fast…” he whispered softly, in a voice that wasn’t meant to be heard.
She ignored it politely as he changed the subject, convinced that they could never move to fast. He had come back to her across worlds; they had defied fate. She wanted to be with him forever, now that she had learned the wasteland her life was without him, but she knew that Donovan Masanori still didn’t know her and would be scared by the intensity of her feelings for him.
“Did you and Bri run today?” he asked, speaking up.
Hitomi rolled her eyes, then had to wonder what was getting into her. Now that she had recognized Merle’s reincarnation, she found herself being a bit more prone to exasperation than she had been in years. It was okay to be annoyed at Bri’s spontaneity, and arguing with the girl was becoming easier. It was amazing to have Merle back in her life, even in another form. “Bri was at my room at four a.m., claiming she wanted to get an early start… while I was brushing my teeth, she fell asleep in my bed and it took me ten minutes to shake her awake. She’s absolutely nuts.”
“Insanity does not run in my family - she gets it from her father’s side,” Van said, winking.
“That’s funny. She said the same thing about you.”
“She lies,” Van said. “Believe me, she lies. When I was four, she tried to convince me that if you ran fast enough, you’d eventually outrun the sun. Things haven’t gotten better since.”
Hitomi smiled. “Maybe she believed it.”
“Don’t believe a word she says!” Van warned, waving a fork to illustrate his words. “She always makes sure she knows the facts before she makes up her lies. The most dangerous thing is a half-truth, and that’s something she specializes in!”
“Really,” Hitomi said. “I know I should say something in her defense, but sadly, I have to believe you.”
“There’s no defending someone from the truth.” Van gave her a smile.
“The problem is that we often don’t know what the truth is until after the fact,” Hitomi said
philosophical. She pushed her tray back, leaving the half-finished salad there, along with her barely
touched dessert. Her cookie had been stale, spoiling her indulgence. There was no point in eating junk food if it didn’t taste good.
He nodded. “Yes, but when we intentionally create a half-truth, that’s another thing.”
“A point.” She smiled at him, brushing her long bangs out of her eyes. She needed to get a haircut, or else they would start getting in her way when she ran. She could start wearing a sweatband, but she hated them with a passion. She liked feeling the wind against her skin.
“Would you… like to meet tomorrow?” he offered. “I don’t have any classes until four, and we can do something, even if it’s only meet for lunch again.” He blushed a bit, and she was enchanted by his shyness.
She remembered how awkward he had been in the past, and was relieved to see that hadn’t changed. “I’d like to,” she agreed. “I have morning classes, but after eleven, I’m free for the day. Maybe we can do lunch, and spend a few hours together?” Hitomi suggested. “I’d like to talk more to you.”
He looked like a great pressure had been released at her acceptance. “That would be great. Did you want to catch a movie… or something?”
She thought on it. “We could, but it’d be hard to talk. I really… just want to spend time with you,” she whispered.
His blush grew even darker. “I want to spend time with you, too,” he said. “But other girls I’ve dated always want to do something, and…”
“I’m not a normal girl, Van,” she said firmly, squashing down her jealousy of the others girls who had dated Van. “I don’t want you to entertain me… I just want to be with you.”
He seemed to be awed by that idea. “You’re wonderful,” he said.
“It’s nice of you to think so,” she said. “But I’m only human…”
***************************
Leaving Van after lunch had been hard, and focusing on her classes had proven to be even harder, but Hitomi had forced herself to. It wasn’t like she could completely stop her life simply because she was in love. She had seen other students do it, in high school and university, and some of them had flunked out.
Still, she was impatience, and spent a restless night. When Bri arrived to take her running the next morning, the other girl was in high spirits, apparently fully informed about the date and full of advice - most of which was amazingly wrong for Hitomi.
“Make sure you wear something loose! Easy access!” Bri advised.
“BRI!” Hitomi said, scandalized.
“I know where a few good love hotels are...”
“And how do you know THAT?”
“Not telling,” Bri said with a shameless wink. “I’m teasing. Van would be horrified if you took him to one of them. There’s one that has a Hello Kitty room, though, which I think might be worth it just for his reaction....”
“Bri....” Hitomi said. “I’m going to leave you in the dust today.”
“Fine, fine. I do have a favor to ask, though.”
“After what you just said? I honestly can’t believe your nerve,” Hitomi said.
“I need to go to the library to return a book, and look for others for my report for anthropology. Could you come with me?” Bri asked.
“I’m supposed to meet Van at noon....”
“This won’t take that long! And I hate going to the library alone. I always feel so out of place.”
“ I’ll meet you at eleven,” Hitomi agreed, rolling her eyes. Bri always got what she wanted in the end, so arguing with her was pointless.
Of course, as soon as Bri got the library, she promptly abandoned Hitomi to fight with the reference librarian Hitomi decided that poking in the reference section would be more productive, and told Bri something to that effect.
Bri waved a hand, and Hitomi rolled her eyes, wandering over to the section on classical literature. She would have a few reports due in a month, and maybe getting a head start wasn’t such a bad idea...
She noticed a spider on top of one of the books...
Her natural loathing of the eight-legged creatures kicked in. She stumbled back, crying out in surprise. It was only the pair of strong arms that caught her that kept her from falling to the hard wooden floor, and possibly injuring herself, which would have been a disaster. She was a runner, after all, and her body was her life.
Hitomi craned her head back to try to see who her savior was, but his face was too shrouded in shadows from the dim library. She realized that her own form was probably just as hidden, for which she was relieved. Her blush of embarrassment would be hidden. She hated appearing less than graceful, and finding herself in someone's arms was humiliating.
"You need to be more careful, Kanzaki-san," the smooth, low voice said. "You could have twisted an ankle, and then where would our track team be?"
"Where it's always been... First in the area." She kept her voice level, trying to ignore the strangely cool hands that gripped her sides. "One runner does not make the team.” She waited a second before finally speaking again. “Um, you can let me go now - I’ve gotten my balance back."
"Certainly." The hands settled her upright, and she took a deep breath, turning around to get a better view of the man.
He was still lurking in the shadows, much to her disappointment. It was too bad, but all she was able to get was the impression of height and a lean male form. His voice sounded familiar, elegant tones which...
"Have we met?" she asked in confusion.
"I ran into you when you were running one night," he stated. "You run like the wind, though I wonder what you're running from."
She shook her head fiercely, suddenly remembering the man. He had been there that night when her life had crashed down, when she had learned about Van and Amano and Yukari. "That night... I was confused. Usually I run toward something," she insisted.
"Really?" he said, and he sounded a bit doubtful. "I've watched your races, and there's a duality to you. You may have your eyes on one goal, but there's something that dogs your footsteps as well. I don't even know if you realize it..."
"I-" she started, but he started to turn away.
"Think on it, Kanzaki-san. I'll talk to you again soon, I'm sure."
Her eyes widened. "Who are you?" she demanded as he started to make good on his retreat.
He didn't answer, and Hitomi wondered if he had heard her. She looked over her shoulder, shivering. If Van and Merle were back, who was that man? Possibilities of all the people she had met on Gaea flowed through her mind like water, one lingering over and over.
Allen...
She dismissed it. Allen wouldn't be so cryptic. Allen was a hero to rescue a damsel in distress, but he would never interrupt her peace of mind the way this stranger did.
Or… Would he?
She wondered. Donovan and Bri were not the same as Van Fanel and Merle. A life on earth had changed their personalities, and while she recognized them, she knew they were different. Might that have happened to the Knight of Asturia as well? “This world is cruel on the pure of heart, and has no place for heroes…” she whispered to herself. She leaned towards the bookshelf, but a voice distracted her from her dark thoughts and made her forget about the mysterious man.
"Tomi-chan!" a voice squealed, and Hitomi whirled around, confronting Bri. Bri smiled at her brightly. "Thanks for coming with me."
"It's Hitomi," she corrected automatically, the way she found herself doing ten times a day. There was nothing like Bri when it came to being exasperating. "It's no problem... It gets my mind off the waiting."
"Are you still nervous? I'm sure Van's just as eager... But he won't show it, because he's a guy. He's learned how to suppress that, thanks to his father." Bri tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Well, I returned my book, so we can get out of here."
"Did you get the other books you needed for your report?" Hitomi asked.
Bri shook her head, her short red hair brushing against her cheeks. "Nope. Looks like I'm going to have to buy them, dammit. I hate spending money on books."
Hitomi didn't say anything, merely following the taller girl out of the library. "I need to go meet Van soon... I had no clue what he has in mind." She forced herself to remain cool, not wanting to give Bri an opportunity to tease her.
"Maybe he wants to take you back to his apartment for an afternoon of mad, passionate lovemaking..."
"Bri!" Hitomi objected, blushing. "He's your cousin! How can you suggest that?"
"So? It doesn't mean I don't realize he's gorgeous..."
Hitomi felt her blush working its way down her neck. "Bri... Please?"
"Oh, you're impossible. I bet you haven't even kissed him yet." Bri sighed, but then gave Hitomi a gentle smile as they hit the steps.
"I..."
"It's okay. Van's different than I am. He takes things slow, building something than last. The house that is build on a foundation of stone, rather than sand, and all that. I think you and he really fit, but you need to find the right way to discover each other." Then Bri winked. "Though I did get you something to maybe make a prettier house." She pulled out a tiny package wrapped in shiny blue wrapping paper.
Hitomi was touched by the gesture, but reaching out, she hesitated a thought crossed her mind. "This isn't condoms, is it?" Knowing Bri, she wouldn't put it past her.
"No!" Bri huffed, sounding offended. "Didn't you just listen to me? You and Van need to take things slow."
Hitomi bowed her head. "I'm sorry." She grabbed the package and tore into it, blinking a bit as she unwrapped a tube of strawberry lip gloss. "I-"
"I know you don't wear make up, but this is special!" Bri winked playfully. "Just because you need to go slow doesn't mean I think a snail should move faster than you, babe! Van loves strawberries best."
"BRI!" Hitomi yelled, but it was too late. The other girl had taken off, laughing her head off. Hitomi was left alone, staring at the "Kiss Kiss" strawberry gloss, wondering. Without allowing herself to think about it, she uncapped it and applied it.
***************************
The sky was a beautiful light blue as she crossed the lawn toward where Van was standing, waiting for her. She smiled at him, her heart feeling lighter at the sight of his handsome face. Today he was wearing a red shirt, and it brought her back to Fanelia, when he had loved her. He didn't love her yet, not as deeply, but he would. Today was their first real date, and she knew it would be wonderful.
Van hadn't noticed her arrival, as he was facing her dorm, obviously expecting her to come from that
direction. She took the opportunity to study him, notice the maturity time had brought to his body.
His face had always been angular, and the years had done nothing to change that. At twenty - for that was what he had told her he was last night - his features were striking and memorable, and she knew that he would age well. His dark chocolate were set above high cheek bones and under graceful eyebrows, and the impish grin she could surprise from him complemented it well. His lips were a bit too thin, perhaps, but there was something about the way he tilted his head knowingly that made his presence known.
He was tall, taller than she would have thought him able to become. He had always struck her as one of those who would never gain any great height, but now that she saw him as a man, she realized he had merely been a late bloomer. She remembered his brother, and realized that Folken had had a similar build.
He wasn't handsome in a traditional sense, and he had none of Allan's sheer beauty, but there was something arresting about him. She knew that eyes would follow him wherever he went, and even if he wanted to, he couldn't fade into the background.
A legacy, perhaps, of a life as a king. She shook herself from her mental wanderings. It was the here and now that was important. "Van!" she called.
He didn't start from surprise, as most people would, but turned to face her smoothly. She smiled as his face softened, and he lifted a hand to wave at her. “Hitomi!” he said in reply. “I hope I’m not too early?”
“Never.” She gave him a grin. “Bri dragged me off, which is why I’m running a bit late. I’m sorry,” she apologized.
He held out his arms, and she stepped into them, accepting his embrace. “It’s fine,” he said, pressing his face into her hair. “I know how those things happen.”
Her arms crept around him, and she was quiet, listening to the warm thud of his heart. He felt warm, and real. Holding Donovan was better than holding the Van of her dreams for just that reason. It wasn’t a dream anymore.
She didn’t know how long they stood there, but when she heard the catcalls from passing students, she pulled back, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Are we getting lunch?” she asked, trying to ignore the hot blush that she knew had to be coloring her face.
“I have a picnic lunch in my car,” he said. “I thought it might be nice to find somewhere quiet and just talk. I don’t have to be back until four, so maybe we can go to a park.”
She liked the idea. “You made a lunch?” she asked curiously.
“I can cook!” he said. “I did buy dessert, but that was because I’m not that good at making chocolate chip cookies.”
He had noticed. Taking his hand, she let him lead her to his car.
The park he chose was about half an hour from campus, even though it was still in the city. Somehow it seemed isolated, even though there were other picnickers around. She wasn’t surprised that the food was wonderful, though eating outside always made her hungrier.
Van teased her with the chocolate chip cookies, keeping them out of her reach. “You need to keep in shape for running,” he told her.
She scowled at him. “I can run you into the ground.”
“Probably,” he admitted. “If you’re good, I’ll let you have one.”
Her eyes lingered on the box longingly. “What’s good?”
“I’ll let you know,” he said, hiding the box behind him with a wink.
It was fun, to be lighthearted and carefree. She had missed the feeling.
With the wind blowing around them, and the scent of fresh-cut grass coming from under the blanket they were sitting on, she felt free. Smiling at him, she stared into his eyes, realizing that it didn’t matter if Donovan Masanori was Van Fanel.
All that mattered was that he made her happy.
“Hitomi, if someone said they could grant you anything in this world, what would it be?” he asked idly.
“One of those cookies,” she answered.
He blinked in surprise. “You wouldn’t wish to be a world-class runner or for world peace? Nothing grandiose?”
She shook her head. “Everything really worth having has to be worked for. So... I’d settled for a cookie. It’s the little things, life’s simple pleasures, that we can just ask each other for. What would you ask for?”
He thought for a second. “I think I’d settle for a kiss,” he said, and the smile faded from his lips, replaced by something utterly serious.
Her breath caught. She and Bri had been talking about kissing, but...
“I’ll give you a kiss if you give me a cookie,” she whispered in reply.
Van moved over to her, cupping her face between his hands. Slowing, his lips descended on hers, and she felt something inside of her uncoil as she responded. The light pressure was inquisitive, but Hitomi welcomed it. His kiss tasted like chocolate and made her body burn. She leaned forward, pressing herself against him, embracing the sweet feeling of homecoming and exploration. Her breath stopped as his hands pulled away and he drew back, only to rest his forehead against hers.
“I think I should have bought more cookies,” he said.
That had hardly been what she’d been expecting, and she blinked in surprise. Then she realized what he was implying, and started to laugh.
Around three, they packed up their supplies and went back to campus. She leaned against Van’s side as he pulled into the parking lot by her dorm.
“I wish we had more time,” she said.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” he asked. “I have to study, but maybe you could come over? I know we’re not in the same classes, but...”
“I’d like that. Is seven okay?” she asked.
“It sounds great,” he said, getting out of the car and going around to open she door.
He was a gentleman, she thought. Sliding out of the door with his help, she leaned on his arm a bit so she could stretch. “I think--" she began, but was interrupted by a voice from behind them.
“Ah, Van!” a voice called, one she recognized. “I was hoping I’d see you!”
She turned around with Van, about to demand what Amano was doing on campus and how he knew Van... but her voice caught in her throat.
Long golden hair flew away from a beautiful face, one which she had seen every time she saw her best friend’s fiancé. But it wasn’t Amano...
She knew she shouldn’t have been surprised to see him, since she knew Van and Merle were on Earth, but the heart rarely listened to the head’s reason. It was another spike in her stability to see him, this man she had thought she was in love with, had confused herself and Van over. He was exactly as she remembered him, though he now wore the clothes of a resident of Earth, rather than an Asturian knight.
Allen Schezar stood before her, and unlike Van, he hadn't changed at all.
***************************
END PART FIVE
Up Next: The Chariot
Keywords: Victory, Will, Self-Assurance, Hard Control
Technical Notes:
Gaijin: foreigner. Usually some social stigmas attached.
Love hotel: Places where people rent rooms to have sex, often decorated with “themes.” Yes, I have heard of a Hello Kitty Room.