pretensions [pot, saetezu, tezufuji]
title: pretensions
author: yumeyana
pairings: Saeki x Tezuka, Tezuka x (^_____________^)
rating: pg-13
genre: angst
summary: Saeki contemplates. Tezuka pretends. Will anything ever be true between them?
crossposted @ potfics, tenipuri_yaoi and @ my fic journal, quilled_dreams where it sleeps.
Author’s Notes: My sister was letting angst-ridden songs play while I was washing the dishes and this came to mind. I wanted to make something for Saeki for his birthday, something happy, but I ended up doing this. I hope you like it, though.
Dedication: To that wonderfully laid-back, sexy blue-eyed Rokkaku fukubuchou, Saeki Kojiroh. Happy Birthday!
Disclaimers: Tennis no Oujisama and all those sexy guys belong to Konomi-sensei. Only the plot is mine.
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Pretensions
You don’t see me, Tezuka. I know.
When you look at me, you see his cerulean eyes and drown in them. You twirl my hair in your fingers, you imagine it’s his. You kiss my lips, you dream it’s his you’re kissing.
You pretend I’m him, Tezuka. But I’m not.
My eyes are a lighter shade of the blue you love. My hair is shorter and of different hue; my lips aren’t as soft as his probably were.
You know it. Yet you pretend.
You pretend that he’s still yours. You pretend that he’s still here.
You pretend that he’s still alive.
But you know he’s not.
He’s never coming back. Never.
It breaks my heart, Tezuka - this music we’re dancing to.
Yet I continue to welcome you home every night with a smile, a kiss. I cook the dishes I know he always cooked for you. I let you consume everything that I am with a pretense that I’m him.
I’m not.
Maybe I can pretend as well, Tezuka. Pretend that you see me; pretend that you’re looking at my eyes, kissing my lips. Pretend that you know I’m not Fuji.
Maybe I can pretend that you love me.
Me. Saeki Kojiroh.
Maybe.
Though I know you don’t.
.owari
.30sept05. 10:40p.
.209 words.
author: yumeyana
pairings: Saeki x Tezuka, Tezuka x (^_____________^)
rating: pg-13
genre: angst
summary: Saeki contemplates. Tezuka pretends. Will anything ever be true between them?
crossposted @ potfics, tenipuri_yaoi and @ my fic journal, quilled_dreams where it sleeps.
Author’s Notes: My sister was letting angst-ridden songs play while I was washing the dishes and this came to mind. I wanted to make something for Saeki for his birthday, something happy, but I ended up doing this. I hope you like it, though.
Dedication: To that wonderfully laid-back, sexy blue-eyed Rokkaku fukubuchou, Saeki Kojiroh. Happy Birthday!
Disclaimers: Tennis no Oujisama and all those sexy guys belong to Konomi-sensei. Only the plot is mine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pretensions
You don’t see me, Tezuka. I know.
When you look at me, you see his cerulean eyes and drown in them. You twirl my hair in your fingers, you imagine it’s his. You kiss my lips, you dream it’s his you’re kissing.
You pretend I’m him, Tezuka. But I’m not.
My eyes are a lighter shade of the blue you love. My hair is shorter and of different hue; my lips aren’t as soft as his probably were.
You know it. Yet you pretend.
You pretend that he’s still yours. You pretend that he’s still here.
You pretend that he’s still alive.
But you know he’s not.
He’s never coming back. Never.
It breaks my heart, Tezuka - this music we’re dancing to.
Yet I continue to welcome you home every night with a smile, a kiss. I cook the dishes I know he always cooked for you. I let you consume everything that I am with a pretense that I’m him.
I’m not.
Maybe I can pretend as well, Tezuka. Pretend that you see me; pretend that you’re looking at my eyes, kissing my lips. Pretend that you know I’m not Fuji.
Maybe I can pretend that you love me.
Me. Saeki Kojiroh.
Maybe.
Though I know you don’t.
.owari
.30sept05. 10:40p.
.209 words.